AN: Buffy suffers from a nervous breakdown as Spike does all he can to get away from the house together with her.
Revenge chap. 14
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"Fuck." Spike whispered as Angel disappeared around the back of the house. Was he really gone or just waiting for the right opportunity to strike again? Spike hoped the ex-prisoner had just forgotten to tie Buffy up because of his haste to get out. Not that the young woman needed ropes, she was devastated. Spike had watched her mental collapse in agony, because he couldn't do anything about it. Now, he tried to repair something that was left in her… or that he hoped was still left in her heart.
"Buffy, love?"
"Don't, Spike. It's better if we don't talk. If we talk, he might hear us and then you'll be dead. And I don't want you dead."
The words were spoken in a hurried whisper, while Buffy did not even glance in his direction. She was watching a blind wall, about the only one in the entire living room without pictures all across it.
"He is gone, love, he'll not return immediately."
"You said he would never come back, that we would be rid of him."
Spike cringed at her words and at the way they were spoken, almost emotionless, like she was in the middle of a forest, talking to a random tree in stead of to someone she loved with all her heart.
"I've made a mistake, Buffy… If you untie me I can fix it."
Now, she finally did an attempt to look at him. Green eyes full of unshed tears gazed at him which such pain, that he had to grit his teeth to stay calm.
"No, I've made the mistake that I would be able to be rid of Angel… but he keeps coming back. He haunts my dreams at night, Spike. You came and I thought it would be all different, but you didn't stay… and in those years when you only came around in the holidays, he was in my every nightmare. They finally have come true."
"No, no Buffy. I'm here, I'm not Oxford anymore. I can protect you."
He pleaded with her, he was begging her, but she would not budge. All the while he was tearing at his ropes, to no avail.
"That's sweet of you, Spike."
He grumbled as it seemed like she was really not going to untie him. That was when he turned to his last resort, he didn't care if she would hate him afterwards, at least they would both still be alive.
"You know what you are like? You've become like Dru."
This caught her attention.
"What?" Buffy asked as her eyes turned to small slits and she turned fully towards him now, the name of his former lover working like a red cloth onto a bull.
"You are just as frightened as she and you are beginning to sound like her as well. She is a sweet girl, really… but she was totally obsessed by Angel. You are too… it's because you don't want to leave him that you are becoming what you are."
"How dare you! I've sacrificed everything to be with you! I was a cheerleader before you came along, and you better remember that!"
"A cheerleader with rumours spreading around the school! Rumours about how easy that Buffy was and how she would climb into bed with anyone!"
"Liar!"
She was in tears now, screaming at him and close to pummelling her fists onto his chest. He dared to provoke her just a little more.
"I'm not and you know it, Buffy. He made you like that!"
"That's not true! You made me to what I am! Ugly and plain and…"
She had walked right up to the couch where he sat, her hands now in front of her face as not to look at him directly.
"Oh Spike, I was so lonely in those years without you."
Was that the real reason why she was so angry at him? Because she was feeling left alone when he was in England, studying and completing his dream?
"I'm here now, love, I'm not going to leave you, not ever again. Come sit beside me."
She did as he asked, without questioning him.
"Buffy… If you don't untie me, I will have to leave you again."
"No, no you can't leave me."
Buffy shook her head and came closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder.
"You have finally come back to me…"
"I won't be here for long if Angel gets his way. Love, you must listen to me and untie me, so that I can run. You can come with me and we will start over somewhere else, I promise. Angel will not find us again."
She was so hopeful, the way she looked at him, that it pained him to do what he had to next.
"Okay." She whispered before daftly untying the knots which held his hands in place. He rubbed his wrists and smiled at her.
"When do we leave?"
"For the moment… we're not leaving." He said to her with regret in his voice before taking her in her arms and pressing onto a few nerve bundles which he knew would make her unconscious.
"I'm sorry, love." He sighed before picking her up and taking her into her old bedroom, locking the door as he walked out again. Angel would be furious at his return, and he would be waiting for him.
