Revenge chapter 19
"Buffy, calm down, calm down!" Spike tried to catch her hands, which were beating at him for a reason he could only guess. She was absolutely furious with him.
"Why, Spike? Why?" She eventually asked with tears in her eyes. A spark of the old Buffy was coming back and he hoped to keep it there for as long as possible.
"Because he wouldn't have let us alone otherwise. Correction… we would be the dead ones by now, not him. I didn't want to do it."
Buffy looked at him with angry eyes, as if she didn't know that herself.
"He killed him, didn't he? Riley? What… How…?"
"You don't need to know, love, it is better for you if you don't. I am just glad that you are back on earth. You have been away for more than a month. Nobody could make a conversation with you, you just stared at the wall."
"I was waiting for you to come back."
"Here I am."
"Oh god Spike, where have you been all this time?"
It seemed like she didn't even realise yet that he could have been charged for murder. A million things went through her mind, that he had been on the run or in hiding and that he now thought it was safe to visit her.
Spike didn't say a thing, but embraced her. Silence fell over the room when neither of them spoke for quite a while. Then Buffy went with her hands over his face, the lines of his jaw, ruffling through his hair.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to remember you." She whispered. "The lines in your face are deeper than before… you have worried too much. But that's over now."
Spike gently shook his head. "I'm afraid not, love. I have not told you the whole truth. They found me out when I was hiding Angel. I'm in prison at the moment… they let me out for a few hours to come and talk to you, so you would get better."
"No, that can't be! You'll not leave me again…" Buffy held on tight on his shoulder and was not about to let go.
"Buffy, I know it is difficult, but there is no other way. You have to be strong for me, alright? I want the old Buffy back again, the one with whom I can argue and have ridiculous fights with. I hope to see her again next time I come and visit."
She sniffed. "I'm not letting you go."
"I think you have no choice, baby. But it will not be for ever… you know I'll always come back to you, no matter what."
"That's what you said that night as well."
"And I have kept my promise, didn't I? Will you try to recover, for me? You have done so much for me when I was shot… let me do the same for you."
Slowly, Buffy nodded. "I'll get better."
"Good, that is everything I needed to hear."
A knock on the door convinced him of the fact his time was up. "I think the doctor will come and visit you shortly. I have to go for now, alright, love? I don't know when I'll see you again… but I will."
He kissed her softly and then left as quickly as possible, not wanting to make it harder on either of them. The policemen shackled him and wanted to lead him to the car, but doctor Anderson stopped them.
"I want a word with your prisoner, if you don't mind… I am the doctor of ms Summers."
It only took a few minutes before the doctor caught the arm of Spike and led him into his office.
"I hope you are not thinking of escaping, because it is quite impossible."
"I never thought of it."
Strange as it might seem, it was the truth. Spike had murdered a human being and did not want to escape his punishment, whichever that might be. He had just wanted that horrible event to be over with, especially for Buffy.
"How is she doing now? Did you visit have the effect we had hoped for?"
"She talked to me."
"Well, I must say that is quite an improvement over the last month. I do not need to know what the conversation was about but… did her mind seem clear to you?"
"Not at first… but she promised me to get better."
"That is not entirely up to her, but it would mean a great deal if she cooperated… I thank you for coming here, I am sure it has helped her."
"Thank you for letting me, doctor. I am sure not every doctor would his patient to be visited by a criminal."
"You are not convicted yet, sir… so you are not guilty to me at the moment."
Spike nodded and opened the door. The trip to the policestation was made in silence, for which he was grateful. He hoped Buffy would keep her promise and work with the psychiatrist, so she would get better. It was the least he could do for her, so she would get her life back on track. If that was to be without him… then he still had no regret of what he had done for her.
