Chapter 12: Hells Bells

"Okay, as we pass them, steer the truck with your tail."

"You want to drive like it's the autobahn, fine, let's go!"

Kurt cringed in his seat as Wolfgang crunched into the next gear and the truck sped up. "Wolfgang, it's a lorry not a sports car." On an open road it was one thing, but they were on a mountain pass.

Wolfgang gestured out the window. "Everybody's passing us like we're standing still. And there's this idiot behind me who keeps flashing his brights."

"It's not worth dying over is it?" Kurt swore he could feel the back of the truck swaying, ready to fishtail around and tumble them over the side.

Wolfgang eased off the accelerator. "I guess. Plus we're way ahead of everyone. We'd get to Munich and have nothing to do for a day and a half at the rate they're going."

"Well, Margali's van is kind of old." Kurt said. He'd been living in it his whole life and he had no idea how long Margali had had it before him.

"Yeah, but it's the coolest one, especially with my new paint job." Wolfgang said. Kurt had to admit he was right, Wolfgang had redone the exterior of their home in beautiful bright colors. On one side was an advertisement for their fortune telling, with portraits of both Margali and Amanda now that she was starting to share in those duties. The other side had a painting of Kurt as Nightcrawler scowling down from a platform like a church gargoyle. The coolest part was that Wolfgang had filled in his eyes entirely in glowing yellow; Kurt thought it was a nice touch.

Wolfgang dug through his tapes and popped one into the cassette deck. He turned up the volume so that AC/DC's Back in Black made the speakers distort with every beat. After a moment he turned it down so it was listenable. "It's old, but it's good." He said.

Kurt liked it too. He liked most of the American music Wolfgang had played for him. It sometimes seemed to him that Wolfgang had gone to America not so much to study art, but collect its pop culture and bring it back to Europe with him. Kurt stuck his feet on the dashboard and listened to Wolfgang growl along to the lyrics for a while. When the title song came on, they both sang along to the chorus. Wolfgang suddenly lowered the volume.

"You should use this song in the show." He said in the fevered way Kurt was accustomed to hearing whenever Wolfgang had a creative epiphany. About half the time it was a good thing, the other half Wolfgang's ideas were so nutty that even Kurt couldn't imagine going along with them.

"You mean for the trapeze act?" Kurt asked. He couldn't really picture it. For as long as he could remember, a small gypsy orchestra, one of the few remaining in Europe, had provided the music.

"Well, I just meant for Nightcrawler in general." Wolfgang said. It had been confusing at first, but he had finally gotten used to the way Kurt seemed to refer to the character he played in public as a different person and had started to do it as well. And after watching Kurt perform for nearly a season, he realized that they sort of were two different people. Most of the time Kurt was studious and hard working with the kind of sweet, shy demeanor that girls loved. Wolfgang was sure that if it hadn't been for Kurt's appearance, he would have had a dozen girlfriends by now.

Nightcrawler on the other hand was mischievous and unpredictable and sometimes it seemed that he operated beyond Kurt's control. More than once Wolfgang had witnessed either Papa or Sven scolding him for messing with the cues or suddenly pulling stunts that weren't written into the show. It rarely resulted in anything more than a moment of confusion for the other performers and the audience inevitably loved it. It was the impish playful streak Wolfgang had seen that winter in Barcelona when Kurt had jumped into the stands, only made larger by the fact that he had the whole audience to play with rather than just a few people.

Wolfgang thought image of Kurt running around with Back in Black playing in the background was perfect. It totally turned the idea of the traditional circus on its ear. Europe wouldn't know what hit them. He pulled the truck off the road.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked.

Wolfgang shut the engine off and leaned casually against the door. "Waiting for everyone to catch up." He said.

They spent half an hour entertaining themselves with one of Wolfgang's favorite pastimes, writing odd little rhymes and turning them into songs that were two parts Mother Goose and one part Lewis Carroll. Wolfgang came up with one about having five fingers on your hand so Kurt retaliated by coming up with a song about things you could do with your tail. They were having so much fun that neither of them noticed everybody else drive by.

A few minutes later, their 2-way radio crackled to life. "Hey Wolfgang, was that you parked off to the side there?"

Wolfgang and Kurt stopped taunting each other with their rhymes and stared at it. "Oops" Wolfgang mouthed. He picked up the radio and pressed the talk button. "Yeah, we had some problems with the brakes." He said and put his finger to his mouth so Kurt wouldn't say anything.

"What's wrong with the brakes?" It was Margali's voice this time.

"They felt a little squishy. I think they're okay though." Wolfgang said. "We'll catch up."

"Be careful. It gets really steep up ahead."

"Okay." Wolfgang said. He started the truck and they pulled back on the road.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt said, "There's nothing wrong with the brakes."

Wolfgang gave him a sly grin, "You'll see." He said.

When Wolfgang could see the lights of Margali's van off in the distance he picked up the radio. "Hey, we're going to pull over again. The brakes are acting up. Hey, they're not working at all now. And the steering's stuck too. Oh No! Look out!" Wolfgang clicked off the talk button and put the radio down. He sped up as various voices on the radio shouted about their truck as it came barreling up behind them, apparently unstoppable and unsteerable.

Kurt slapped his palm to his forehead. "You're insane."

"Okay, as we pass them, steer the truck with your tail." Wolfgang said. They had started down the steepest grade yet. It was perfect.

Kurt started laughing because he knew exactly what it was that Wolfgang wanted to do. The trucks were all in a row to the right now, and as they passed on the left, Kurt and Wolfgang waved their hands frantically and pretended to be terrified. They kept it up until the truck rounded a corner and went out of sight. The whole time the radio was buzzing with voices.

Wolfgang put his hands back on the wheel, slowed down and came to a stop on a wide spot where the road evened out. The two of them collapsed into hysterical laughter, now listening to the speculations of what had become of them.

"Margali's going to kill me." Kurt said.

"It was worth it though. Did you see their faces when we passed?" Wolfgang asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

"I was trying to drive." Kurt said with a strong emphasis on the last word.

"True." Said Wolfgang.

The two of them were leaning casually against the side of the truck when everybody else caught up. It was immediately obvious that there was nothing wrong with the steering or the brakes. Everybody who had stopped and gotten out returned to their vehicles grumbling and shaking their heads except for Margali. She walked up to Kurt, glared at him for a long moment and then slapped him hard on the cheek. She turned around without a word and walked back to her van were Amanda was waiting, her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter.

"Ow." Kurt rubbed the side of his face and glanced at Wolfgang who was looking away and trying to keep a straight face. He couldn't and burst out laughing anew. Kurt elbowed him in the ribs hard enough to make him double over and walked back to their truck muttering, "steer with your tail." Still laughing, Wolfgang followed him. He honestly couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to run away with the circus.