Chapter 22: Fatherly Advice
"Is it that you don't like scaring people because you don't want them to be afraid? Or, is it that you don't like scaring people because you don't like the way it makes you feel when they are afraid?"
James had a suitcase in each hand and a third bag hung over his shoulder but he hardly felt the weight. He walked through the camp pointing out the sights as he went.
"This is where we all eat." He said, nodding his head towards the collection of picnic tables clustered under a large oak tree. "And you can see the big tent way over there. This is where Wolfgang lives but he's never there. And that's Margali's new trailer but I think she wishes she still had the old one. Oh, and you're lucky because since we've got a well there's a shower tent, otherwise you have to use the…" James stopped talking when he heard Brin laughing.
"You're babbling." She said.
James stopped walking. "Oh, okay." He said.
"I think it's cute."
James grinned. "Well, I'll continue then. This is our trailer. Wolfgang shuffled everyone around so that we could have it to ourselves. Normally it's Christian and me in here so everyone calls it 'Wenig Amerika', Little America. Isn't that sweet?" He pushed open the door with his butt and pulled the suitcases in. Brin followed him inside and looked around.
"It's no smaller than a Manhattan apartment." She said.
"Actually, I think it's bigger than my first apartment." James said. He pulled Brin to him and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Anyway, the décor has improved immensely in the last few seconds." Brin laughed and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips.
"I hope I'm interrupting something."
They moved apart and saw Wolfgang leaning into the door. Brin put her arms out to give him a hug. "Wolfgang, you look so respectable with your hair short."
He stepped in. "Why thank you. And you look stunning as always, lovely Brianna." Wolfgang ended their embrace by taking her hand in his to twirl her around and drop her into a graceful dip.
"What, you're stealing my girlfriend after only five minutes?" James said. Brin laughed and gave Wolfgang a peck on the cheek.
Wolfgang looked at his watch. "Two." He said. "Has James given you the tour yet?"
"Sort of," said Brin smoothing back her chin length hair. "But I'm sure I'll be lost for the next week."
"I doubt it. It's not that big. It's going to take you forever to learn how to pronounce everyone's names though." James said. There was a knock on the door and Wolfgang opened it.
"This is Christian." He said, letting in the tall blonde haired cyclist who still looked more like surfer than a circus performer. "He said he'd help out translating for you."
"Oh." Said Brin, surprised. "Thanks."
"No worries." Christian said shaking her hand. "Nearly everyone speaks some English so you shouldn't have too many problems. You'll find that German is pretty much the norm though, so don't be afraid to ask people to repeat themselves. And if I'm not around there's Wolfgang of course, plus Sven and Nils are pretty dialed. They can speak Russian too, which is excellent because the Wollecks are Romanian. Their Russian pretty much rocks, but most of them are still trying to learn German."
"I speak Russian too." Wolfgang said.
Christian rolled his eyes. "Yeah, so you're pretty much covered on the whole Russian thing. Oh, and Kurt can translate for you into German, French, and Latin as if that does any good."
"How do you guys get anything done?" Brin asked. "I mean, it sounds like a giant game of telephone."
Christian laughed. "I know, it's nuts isn't it? But it's all good."
"You get used to it." James said. "Wolfgang tries to speak English when I'm around. So do Kurt and Amanda. I'm never sure if that's English Christian is speaking or not. Everyone else pretty much forgets. Hey, how are you settling in Christian?"
""I'm crashing at Margali's." Christian told Brin as if she actually knew who Margali was. He grinned. "Margali's new trailer is sweet dude. It's actually got rooms with doors. Which kicks because they keep the oddest hours."
"When Margali's van was totaled she needed a new one." Wolfgang said.
"So Wolfgang somehow negotiated three." James interjected.
Wolfgang shrugged. "We were completely over crowded. We needed the space and a proper office. It's better now right?"
Christian and James shrugged in agreement.
There was another knock on the door.
"Is it always like this?" Brin asked.
"Actually no." James said. "Normally people don't knock. And I don't usually get this many visitors."
"Except in this case James has practically tattooed the date of your arrival on everyone's foreheads." Wolfgang said. He opened the door. "Hey speak of the devil."
Amanda peeked in holding a bouquet of fresh picked flowers. "Hi." She said. "I'm Amanda. Oh, these are for you." Brin smiled as she accepted the flowers. "I feel like I know you." Amanda said, "James talks about you all the time."
"I gathered." Brin said. "Thanks for the flowers, they're really nice." She bent down to sniff them.
Kurt looked in. "Wow. Is like an English speaking convention in here. Is James' girlfriend finally get here?" He asked. He had just stepped through the door when Brin shrieked and dropped the flowers. Kurt froze. Brin shrieked again and Kurt was surprised when Christian shoved him roughly out the door and shut it. Nobody spoke.
"Honey, why did you do that?" James asked when the silence became unbearable. Amanda bent down to gather the flowers off the floor.
"I… I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting… What…Who was that?" Brin said, still holding a hand to her chest.
"That was Kurt." James said. "I told you about him. He was on our living room wall for a year." He didn't want to sound angry but it was embarrassing. He'd been startled by Kurt's appearance too, but he'd certainly handled the situation with more composure. It was true he had had to lie about Wolfgang's art, but so far neither of them had called him on it.
"I know." Brin said wiping her eyes. "When you said he was like that all the time, I thought you were being metaphorical."
James sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. It's been a long trip. You're tired. I'll introduce you tomorrow and things will be fine."
"Yeah, okay." Brin said skeptically.
"I've got to go look for him." Wolfgang said, "I'll see you guys later."
Christian tapped Amanda on the shoulder and gestured at the door. Amanda handed the flowers back to Brin. "It was, um, nice meeting you." She said. Brin nodded in silence as she took her flowers. James looked apologetically at Amanda but said nothing. What could he say?
"Why did you do that to Kurt?" Amanda said sternly as she and Christian walked back to their trailer.
"I didn't know what to do. She was completely tweaked." Christian said. "I just wanted her to stop screaming at him. I should go with Wolfgang and apologize." He turned to follow, but Amanda caught his elbow.
"Let Wolfgang handle it." She said.
"You think so?" Christian asked.
"Definitely," said Amanda "There are only three people who can talk to Kurt after something like this happens, Father Dietrich, my mom, and Wolfgang."
Wolfgang found Kurt alone under the oak tree. He was sitting at one of the tables, his chin in his hands staring gloomily off into the distance. Wolfgang sat down at the table across from him.
"Why so blue?" Wolfgang asked.
Kurt shut his eyes. "I am so glad that joke only works in English," he said. "You know why. And can we please speak in German now."
Wolfgang acquiesced. "I'm sure she didn't mean it." He said.
Kurt stayed silent.
"I think you just surprised her, that's all. It's nothing that hasn't happened before. You know once she talks to you she'll like you." Wolfgang said.
"Do I?" Kurt asked.
"Sure. Everyone does. What's eating at you anyway? Usually this kind of thing hardly bothers you at all."
Kurt let his hands drop down to the table. "Isn't it obvious?" He asked.
Wolfgang shook his head. "No, it's not actually. Really, what's bugging you?"
"Oh, Forget it." Kurt said and vanished in a cloud of dark smoke.
Wolfgang stood up and looked around. "Kurt that's not fair." He called out, but there was no answer. The best thing to do now was look for the nearest church.
The church was small, made of stone and with a steep gabled roof. It was the kind of typical little church that dotted the European continent. Wolfgang allowed his gaze to follow the lines of the roof to the steeple. The gargoyle glowering down from the roof's peak looked very familiar.
"You're not fooling anyone." Wolfgang called up. "Why don't you come down?"
Wolfgang could see Kurt's shoulders sink as he sighed and a second later his friend was standing beside him. "Good, now I…" But before Wolfgang could finish his sentence Kurt grabbed him. They reappeared on top of the roof.
"Ahh!" Wolfgang gripped the roof's peak to keep from sliding down. He hauled himself up so that he and Kurt were facing each other, Wolfgang straddling the peak and Kurt perched atop it. Wolfgang craned his neck to look down. "I swear to God Kurt, if you teleport off of here without taking me with you, when I do get down your mangled mutant body will be on the news." He said.
"Don't worry. I won't," Kurt said.
"Well then, are you going to tell me what's wrong or are going to continue to pout like you're five years old." Wolfgang asked.
Kurt stared at him dejectedly for a moment. "It's girls," he finally admitted.
"Girls? What about them?" Wolfgang said, surprised.
Kurt shrugged. "James has Brin. You have Maria who you told me about. Even Lars is seeing Gretchen." He said.
"He is?" Wolfgang interrupted.
"Yeah. We used to hang out a lot more. Now he's with her most of the time and three's a crowd if you know what I mean." Wolfgang nodded sympathetically. "And since Brin's reaction to me is fairly typical," Kurt continued, "I'll never have a girlfriend."
"That's not true. I mean, yes you do have certain obstacles to overcome but trust me, any woman who gets to know you will forget about all that. Looks get a girl in the door, but she stays because of what's inside."
Kurt laughed. "Yeah, you should know Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, you were quite the Casanova when you first came."
Wolfgang nodded sadly. "I was being stupid. Sewing the royal oats, as they say, is not all that it's cracked up to be."
"At least you had the option." Kurt said.
Wolfgang sighed. "If you'll permit me to give you some fatherly advice," he said. Kurt gave a snort of laughter but Wolfgang forged ahead.
"Women respond to confidence. They want to feel safe, protected; they want to know that they can rely on you and that you'll always be there for them. Now, I've failed miserably in this department but it doesn't mean that you have to."
"I am confident." Kurt said.
"Agreed, with people you know. And with an audience you'll never really meet. But, that's not how you act when introduced to someone for the first time. First impressions matter my friend." Wolfgang said.
"I don't like to scare people." Kurt said.
Wolfgang nodded in agreement. "That's fine. But is it that you don't like scaring people because you don't want them to be afraid? Or, is it that you don't like scaring people because you don't like the way it makes you feel when they are afraid?"
"I don't know." Kurt said, "the latter maybe."
"Then here is another piece of advice: Stop caring."
"What do you mean stop caring? I can't stop caring about that." Kurt said.
"I mean stop worrying whether people are going to accept you or not and just assume that they will. That way, if they don't it's their fault and their loss." Wolfgang said.
"So if I walk into a room and someone screams, I should just carry on like nothing happened?" Kurt said in disbelief.
"Exactly. If you cower in the corner and cringe when people come near you, that's what a woman is going to remember. Even if an hour later you're making her laugh and charming the pants off her." Wolfgang said.
"I'd never do that." Kurt said in mock earnestness.
"Yeah, you're such an angel." Wolfgang said with a laugh. "But you get my point right? Stop worrying. Use your personality to put people at ease. Turn their fear into laughter. Pretend they're an audience if you have to."
Kurt looked skeptical, but finally nodded his head. "Okay." He said.
Wolfgang looked around. "So, can we get down from here now? My ass is really starting to hurt."
Kurt looked over the trees towards the camp. "Do you want to walk back or take the short cut?" He asked.
"That's pretty far. You're not going to knock either of us unconscious are you?"
"No. I've been practicing." Kurt said.
Wolfgang looked off into the distance and shrugged. "The shortcut then." And they were gone.
Brin spent the week watching just as James had done when he first arrived. Occasionally Christian or Wolfgang joined her to translate the conversations between the performers as they worked. She kept careful notes, enumerating each performer's strong and weak points. James hadn't been joking about the names. Thankfully, the show's leads had short easy to pronounce names, but she was definitely having a tough time with learning so many foreign names in such a short span of time.
Of the four leads, Gretchen was the smoothest, the most dancer-like. Lars and his sister were on even ground, they were both athletes more than they were artists. They weren't completely hopeless though. Kurt was the most dynamic. He seemed to be more aware of his body than the others and his proprioception, the ability understand how his movements related to everything going on around him, was almost inhuman. At the same time she wasn't quite sure what to do with him. Brin had been a dancer her entire life and she had spent countless hours looking at and thinking about the way the human body moves; she understood every muscle and every nuance. But Kurt stood just outside the boundaries of that understanding. She wondered, "Did she need to choreograph his tail?" Was it even possible for him to control its movement? And his hands and feet were so different, could he move them and position them in the same way as his fellow performers or would she have to limit everybody else to match him when they were on stage together?
Brin could tell she was on shaky ground with him anyways. James had re-introduced them the next morning by inviting him to eat breakfast at their table. But he hadn't eaten anything and spent the whole time avoiding her gaze as if at any moment he expected her to start screaming again. She wondered how she was going to work with him at all.
