Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own the Harry Potter characters, I don't. Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Pairings: Harry/Draco (seriously, if you cant deal then don't read), maybe Hermione/Ron?
Warnings: SLASH! Also, the rating will be high incase I decide to use some...very physical...contact! lol! Maybe not even very, but better safe then sorry right?
LustAintLove: I'd like to say sorry about a few typos I saw in my last fic. You must understand that I'm not perfect and I can guarantee a few screw up every now and then. Thanks to those who reviewed. I'm not sure if I will be replying or not, but later chapters will answer that. Hope you enjoy and please, if you already haven't, review. Thanks. R&R please
Don't Touch
by: LustAintLove
Chapter 2
An undesirably strong headache was what met me when first waking. I lay, eyes closed, trying to piece together exactly what had happened. Quick, confusing memories shot through my head. Some were of beatings, darkly clad figures that loomed longingly throughout the shadows, enemies. Others of self harm, followed by unwelcome flashbacks of a certain grey eyed blond hovering above with a bitter smirk, killing most, if not all, of his angelic features. Fights. Tears. Pain. Blood. Death. It all seemed to rush in with enormous speed causing a stinging outburst of tears along with some very loud, unpleasant sobs. 'Why am I crying?'. The question was easily answered, 'I'm losing my mind!'
"Harry?" a voice sounded from far away. I ignored it with little choice. Though, it continued in a murmur, speaking softly, soothingly. The effect was little, but never once did the, somewhat calming, sound leave the back of my mind. Someone was there. Someone was touching me! With that horrifying thought, I jerked away. Exactly why it was so 'horrifying', I did not know.
More memories. Yet these ones seemed to stop my embarrassingly shameful outburst. They were of less recent times. My first year at Hogwarts. My first real friends. Quiditch. Laughs. Jokes. Magic. All very happy. All very pleasant. But something told me it wasn't real. That from this point on, those times no longer existed. Taking the place of my tears, my whole body began to shake and tremble with a knowing fear. So many things had gone wrong. So many things had changed. They would remain changed. The thoughts chilled my insides with an uncontrollable panic. And, just as quickly as I awoke, sleep began to clutch and pull at my body, which seemed incapable of battling the unwanted rest. Sleep only led to dreams. My dreams were more like nightmares.
Hermione's POV
I didn't understand what was wrong. Even Professor Snape wasn't exactly sure. After looking him over, it was clear that whatever occurred was more on the mental side, not physical. He suggested a breakdown or panic attack of some sort. Though, why it only just now happened, I couldn't quite get. Mrs. Weasley agreed with him though, and, as the rest of the order had arrived, proceeded with their meeting. But not after telling us to keep a good eye on Harry and call if any help was needed.
Guilt. That's all I felt while watching my sweat bathed friend. He let out soft, frightened whimpers that seemed to stress just what kind of shape he was in. The guilt came mainly from knowing that I left him this way for so long. I should have done more. I hadn't been as good a friend as I should have been. Obviously I wasn't fooling myself, or Harry wouldn't be like this.
Suddenly he began to cry out. Not from pain, but more from anguish. Tears began a speedy trail along his cheeks and weak, yet loud, sobs erupted from deep in his throat. It was a heart wrenching sight. The sudden upsurge caught Ron's attention and he rushed over to the bed.
"Harry?" I wanted so badly for his pain to stop. I wanted to help him. Thoughtlessly, I placed a hand on his arm and started petting him pleadingly. Like you might a baby when trying to calm it. Almost instantly, he jerked away from my touch. 'Please Harry. Let me help you.' I took to whispering soft and soothing words near his ear, keeping my hands twisted together and far from touching Harry.
He seemed to quiet soon after, but to my dismay, he began to tremble and pale considerably; this being scary seeing as though he was already horribly pale. My eyes stung with tears, but I blinked them back and glanced away, line of view finding Ron's comforting blue gaze. He smiled softly and let his eyes wander back to the mess that was our friend. He let the smile fall and a thoughtful expression crossed over his features. I glanced back and realized Harry had finally begun to relax again. His chest rose and fell with each shaky breath. But no longer did he whimper, he just slept. I gave a weak smile and kept to watching his small form press deeper into the tangle of blankets settled around him. He actually looked peaceful.
Harry's POV
"You need to eat something Harry." Ron and Hermione sat at the end of my bed looking a bit worn. They had been urging me to try the, rather grotesque looking, soup for some time now. "Please Harry, Mum says if you don't at least try, she'll come force-feed you herself." He cracked a small smile, but it disappeared within seconds. That was another thing they were attempting at, making me smile. I glanced at the bowl of soup and began to wonder exactly why it looked that way. 'Maybe it has some sort of potion in it. Something that'll drive me sane.' I reached forward and played aimlessly with the metal spoon sitting, untouched, beside the now cold dish. Hermione's face lit up with hope and I couldn't help but frown. She so wanted me to eat. I groaned slightly and looked away from her. Even if the soup would fix me, it looked absolutely repelling. A loud exasperated sigh sounded from one of the two and I glanced up. Hermione was now leaning a little too close for comfort.
"Harry, why wont you talk to us? Tell us what's wrong." She looked desperate and frowned deeper as I shifted away from her.
"Mione'," Ron put a hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her away. "calm down." he whispered softly. She sighed once more and hunched her shoulders in what looked like defeat.
"How can I? He…he won't….even…talk to us." She motioned wildly with her hands.
It was true. I had tried to vocalize my thoughts multiple times, but nothing happened. Small squeaks and odd noises took the place of my words. After the many worried glances I received for each of the pointless attempts, I decided it best to remain silent. Now, seeing Hermione near hysterics, I began to shake my head slightly. Hermione saw this and let a tiny smile tug at the corners of her lips. Guessing that she understood, I returned the smile. This seemed to shock both Ron and Hermione, but I returned to gazing disgustingly at the soup. Something had definitely changed in me. No longer was I an angry, bitter teen. I was a terribly broken and screwed up child.
Though it wasn't a great breakthrough, I began to eat very small portions of anything light on the stomach. This included multiple soups, eggs, and rolls. Those being my favorite. The Order was especially busy lately, and on hearing about my situation, things seemed to become even more hectic and stressed. Visits from them weren't lacking, but I wished so badly they were. The feeling of having let them down was just to much and that was the message I got from looking them in the eyes. 'He needs to get better.' 'He can't let us down now.' 'He's helpless.' 'We're doomed.' I just knew they all thought that way.
It was a few days before school began. Mrs. Weasley had had numerous arguments with Mr. Weasley, Snape, and anyone else who believed I was capable of returning for my seventh and final year at Hogwarts. She said I was in no shape to put up with the stresses of school. It was on this particular day that a very heated argument occurred between Snape and Mrs. Weasley.
"You heartless arse." Mrs. Weasley spat in the direction of one very put off professor. No one was used to her words being so…venomous, and a few gasps were heard throughout the kitchen. It was an audience of five others. Ron, Hermione, the twins, and, of course, a very confused me. "How can you even think of putting Harry back in school? Look at him. He has barely spoken ten words in the past week." She fumed, glaring daggers at Snape.
"I assure you Molly, Harry would do much better at Hogwarts then locked up here." his voice was calm, but the anger flashing in his eyes was unmistakable.
"May I ask how that would be?" She challenged Snape.
"Tell me Molly, what would Potter have at school that he wouldn't have here?" he didn't answer, but instead questioned her in return.
"Don't try to avoid my question." she looked on the verge of exploding with rage.
"I had no intension of doing so, and if you'd kindly answer my question, you'd see that." Snape said calmly.
"I will not sit here naming the advantages of sending Harry back when I fully disagree with the decision." She spat and looked ready to pounce him.
"Fine, you asked how it is that Hogwarts is better then here, I shall tell you." Snape glanced thoughtfully at me and my two best friends before continuing. "Obviously Potter is beginning to recover, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger have made sure of that." I heard both Ron and Hermione make sounds of approval and glanced sideways at them. They gave me a warm smile then went back to watching the current argument unfolding before them.
"In school, he will have them to continue helping with his progress. But leaving him here, alone and probably confused, would only result in worsening his condition." Snape was happy to continue, but Mrs. Weasley didn't let him.
"And what of the school work? What of Quiditch? What of you? You have been treating Harry just as badly as ever. There's no mistaking you'll do the same when he gets to school. He's incapable of working under such conditions. Here, he'll have the Order members. He'll have silence and time to get better. How can anyone focus on helping him when they will all be busy focusing on their own school work and classes?" She was screaming now. Face red, eyes bulging, fists balled, and jaw clenched. All resulting in a very scary and manic scene.
Snape's eyes narrowed and he glanced angrily in my direction. First I thought he was ready to blame this whole disagreement on me, but it seemed he had something else in mind. The hate and anger radiating from him was so intense I began to tremble slightly. Fear seemed to be the most reoccurring emotion I received. Hermione shifted forward, as if to block me from a death blow, but Snape shot her a look reading 'Stay out of this'. She obliged, though hesitant, and moved aside.
"Potter," he whispered with a scowl. I didn't respond, but watched in fear and a small amount of curiosity. "tell me, what do you want to do?"
I frowned at his question and a confused expression crossed my face. 'What does he mean? What is he talking about?' I glanced pleadingly at Hermione, but she was busy glaring at Snape. The truth was, I hadn't really been listening to the conversation. I was more interested in watching the scene. More recently, actions seemed much more worthy of my attention then words.
His face darkened at my choice of silence and he took another step forward. "I asked you a question Mr. Potter. I am almost positive you still have a tongue and if I am correct with that assumption, then I advice you to use it." he spoke in almost a whisper and as slow as possible. Still, I didn't understand what he wanted.
"Please Professor, Harry…" Hermione began, but was cut off by a very disapproving hiss.
"Miss Granger," his eyes flicked to my left, gaze falling to a very angry Hermione. "I think Potter's little 'speaking disability' would do better with you. Now, if you would kindly keep your mouth closed, there is a problem that will be solved today. Understand?" He didn't wait for a response, but looked at me. "What do you want to do?" he questioned. I was visibly annoyed and sighed.
"What.." I forced the word, but it came out as a whisper. Snape narrowed his eyes and I took that as a sign to speak up. "What…don't…" he sighed heavily and frowned.
"No riddles Potter. Do you want to stay here, or go with them to school?" Though his voice sounded cruel and anyone else might have cringed, I smiled, finally understanding what he wanted me to do, and laughed slightly.
"Them," I said motioning to my friends. I wanted to go with them. I wanted to go back to school. "I want them." The last part caused both Hermione and Ron to laugh. Snape nodded in approval and turned back to Mrs. Weasley.
"In the end, the choice is not our own, it is his. He has chosen to go back to school and I trust you will respect his decision." Snape took great amusement in watching the woman fight back any biting words she wanted to use toward him, and turned to leave. "Thank you for the meal, please inform Dumbledore that I will be back in time for the meeting." with that, he left.
"The nerve." She murmured before sending me a sad glance.
Normal POV
"Come on Harry. Hurry so we can get an empty compartment." Hermione was about to tug Harry onto the train, but thought better.
"Okay Harry. You be safe. If you're having any problems completing the work, speak with a teacher. Don't push yourself. Don't starve yourself either. Get a lot of rest. If your not up to it, a simple letter will have you back at Grimauld place in an instant. Think on what I said about Quiditch. You don't have to play. I would rather you not." Mrs. Weasley would have continued with a list of 'dos 'n' don'ts' if Ron hadn't spoken up.
"Really mum you'd think Harry were a child." he gave her a quick hug and started on the train, only to be stopped by the 'oh so common' yelp of displeasure from Harry. On turning around, his eyes narrowed slightly. Mrs. Weasley was now giving Harry a forceful hug.
"Mum," he was about to argue about how Harry didn't like to be touched, but Harry already managed to snake away from her. He looked a bit startled and very unhappy. "Come on Harry." Ron took Harry's trunk and began a very effortful task at pulling two heavy trunks onto the train.
Harry, having calmed down, gave a very upset Mrs. Weasley one last smile before following Ron. They began looking into compartments to find Hermione and succeeded after a load of 'sorry's and 'scuse me's to the previous, already occupied, compartments. They found one Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnigan talking quietly with Hermione. By the looks of it, Ron guessed she was explaining Harry's 'problems' so they would be….prepared to face him. At their entrance, the whispering stopped and all eyes, aside from Ron's, fell to the raven haired boy.
"Hello Harry." Seamus offered warmly, but frowned at the look of his friend. Harry had always been a thin boy, but know he was a very unhealthy thin. His features brightened as Harry smiled in reply.
"Where's Dean?" Ron asked Seamus. It was rare to see the two apart.
"I guess he's not here yet." Seamus shrugged, but didn't take his eyes from Harry.
"He's not going to disappear if you look away." Hermione whispered and laughed softly. He smiled and, getting the message, turned to talk with Neville. Dean, Luna, and Ginny added onto the group before the train started.
The ride seemed to last only a short while. Harry sat watching the group with interest and smiled falsely whenever someone glanced in his direction. It was a little too crowded and he continued shifted around to avoid someone bumping into him. Hermione seemed too caught up with keeping an eye on him to actually join in the conversations. In no time, the group found themselves at Hogwarts.
Harry's POV
I was shivering and cold as I following Hermione and Ron into the castle. It had been raining pretty badly and now I was socked. The feel of cloths pressing so tightly against me was a bit unnerving. I didn't like it. Hermione seemed to notice my discomfort and smiled softly. She took out her wand and cast a few drying spells on each of us. The lack of water weight pulling me down was very relieving. I smiled and began to look at what all the castle contained. A lot of corridors, torches, stairs, ghosts…ghosts? For some reason, I couldn't recall ever seeing any ghosts. Caught a bit off, I jumped back when a cackling ghost flew through the wall right beside me.
"Hermione…." I began to panic as more appeared. They looked to be welcoming students as they entered the hall, but I was very against going anywhere near them. "No." I turned to get away and ran straight into a tall, still wet, figure. A small gasp slipped from my mouth as I fell to the ground.
"Potter?" the voice was familiar, but I didn't bother looking up. Instead, I covered my eyes and began to shake my head furiously.
"No ghosts Mione'." I whispered loud enough for the surrounding students to hear. Hermione had already heard me before and was kneeling down beside me.
"Harry, it's okay. Their not real." she lied trying to comfort him. "Look, their going away. It's okay Harry. Look at me." I stopped moving and glanced up. She held a worried look and forced a smile. "It's okay." she repeated and tried to reach a hand toward me.
"No." I leaned away and frowned.
"Look, Potter has gone mad." A very cold, feminine voice chimed, followed by some pretty unattractive snort like laughs. I looked up to see a raven haired Slytherin hunched over and out of breath. She had tears of laughter streaming down her face and I cocked my head slightly. This, for some reason, shut her up. "What, no witty remark Potter?" I recognized her now. Pansy. Yes, I remember her rude remarks towards Hermione in the past.
"Pansy." I said as if trying to brand the name into my head. Her eyes narrowed and a slight movement brought my attention to the one who I had run into. The one who I had touched. Wet marks along the front of my robe were proof of that. At the moment, I hadn't really been bothered by it. Now, I was a bit uncomfortable. I recognized him too, and something made me want to get away from him. His grey eyes seemed frozen on me, which I greatly disliked, and a frown creased his forehead in thought. Soaked blond hair hung carelessly in his face and, for no real reason, I had an urge to brush it aside.
"Potter?" he seemed to snap out of whatever daze he had been in, and looked at me questioningly. I had a weird feeling that he was about to start scolding me.
"Watch where you're going." is all he said before continuing into the hall. I looked after him and frowned. Malfoy? Yes, his name was Malfoy.
"Harry?" Hermione was still kneeling beside me. I looked at her and arched my eyebrows as if to ask 'Yes?'. "Are you okay now? Can we go sit down?" I nodded and pulled myself off the stone floor.
Draco's POV
"Bloody rain." I hissed while walking into the castle. My hair was now beyond help and my robes were soaked. Pansy looked even worse though. Her hair, already naturally flat and thin, hung in strings of black. The makeup around her eyes was smeared, making her look as if she had been crying. "God Pansy, remind me never to invite you over for a swim." I chuckled and was rewarded with a girly punch to the shoulder.
"I hate you." she mumbled. In mock hurt, I put a hand to my heart and gasped.
"How ironic, seeing as though I love you." this statement caused her to blush and, after straightening up, I rolled my eyes. "Not really Pansy." I said a bit desperately. The last thing I wanted was my best friend trying to snog me. She glared at me while reaching for her wand. Eye's wide, and under the impression that she was about to hex me, I threw my hands up defensively. "Just kidding Panz, no reason to get all touchy." Pansy snorted at me and pointed the wand to herself.
"You should use a drying spell Dray." she smirked before performing one on herself. I sighed with relief and began to glance around. Where is everyone? I swear Blaise was just here. Shrugging that aside I began walking toward the Great Hall.
"Welcome back. Welcome back." An unfamiliar ghost flew above giving welcome to all the returning students. More ghosts began to flutter around the crowd of students and suddenly something bumped against me. Having been in my own world, it took me a moment to realize it wasn't a thing, but a person.
"Potter?" he didn't look to well and for an instant I thought he was about to cry. Instead, he covered his face with thin, pale hands and began to shake his head back and forth. The mudblood was kneeling down beside him looking very worried.
"No ghosts Mione'" His voice trembled and the fear was obvious. 'Potter's scared of ghosts?' I blinked a few times and realized Granger was talking to him.
"Harry, it's okay. Their not real." I almost laughed. Either she was kidding, or she really wasn't as smart as she put on. "Look, their going away. It's okay Harry. Look at me." His hands slowly fell away from his face and he did as told. "It's okay." her words were gentle and caring. I cringed as she tried to touch him. 'Mudblood filth' was my immediate thought, but it diminished as soon as I saw him move to avoid her touch.
"No" he whispered. That simple word seemed to effect the girl's emotions greatly. She looked hurt.
"Look, Potter has gone mad." Pansy shrieked and started her annoying fit of laughter. This caused the fallen boy's attention to instantly switch from his mudblood friend to my best friend, whom, sadly, didn't look too nice when red, out of breath, and laughing. Whatever else she said, I didn't hear. My eyes were locked on the boy sitting before me. His eyes looked so far away. So innocent. Nothing like I remembered. The deep piercing emerald was breathtaking. I recalled looking into those eyes on several other occasions, but they were much more serious. Much more hurt. Now they looked frightened. Confused. I watched as his head tilted to the side and those eyes seemed to flash with recognition as he stared at Pansy. His mouthed moved as he spoke to her.
I shifted a little, never taking my eyes off the raven haired boy, and my breath caught as he glanced at me. His eyes seemed so conceptive, as if he understood what I was thinking. They flashed with what looked like fear, but he continued to watch me. Eyes pausing, momentarily, on my hair. There was something wrong with him. Something I didn't understand.
"Potter?" The question was more for me to confirm he was actually Harry Potter. He didn't answer. I couldn't think of any witty comment. Usually, in such situations, I would say something to start an argument, but today, having those childlike eyes gazing at me so intently, I had nothing.
"Watch where your going?" I finally spoke and walked away as quickly as possible. You could say I ran away, but that would be very unmalfoyish. Pansy was right beside me and seemed a little taken aback by how I reacted, though, she didn't speak on her thoughts.
"That drying spell would do you some good now." Pansy stated as we neared the Slytherin table. Not really understanding her point, I rolled my eyes and yanked out my wand. What's the spell again? Come on, Pansy just did it. I can't…
"Umm..Draco?" I glanced at Pansy and frowned.
"What?" She sighed and glanced at our house table. I had stopped walking and didn't even realize it. "Oh." my frown deepened as I glanced at the wand I held pointed toward me. "Pansy?" This was going to be humiliating.
"Yes?" she began to take on her 'worried' look. Though it wasn't an obvious worry, I knew her expressions.
"Idontrememberthespell." She looked at me questioningly and waited for me to repeat myself. Sighing, I did so. "I don't remember the spell." She attempted, for about ten seconds, to avoid laughing at me, but in the end, I could have hexed her.
"Draco Malfoy can't remember a drying spell? You're kidding. We learned that in like what, first year? How can you not remember?" Seeing the look on my face, she quieted and smiled. "Here, let me do it." she did so, and decided it best to drop the subject.
------------later------------
Damn it! I sighed and, for the tenth time that night, dragged my gaze away from Potter. For some reason, I couldn't stop watching him. Whenever my eyes found his small figure, I felt a pang in the back of my mind. I would get lost in my thoughts, all involving him, and just stare, unwillingly, into the boys face. He sat between the mudblood and Finnigan with the Weasel directly across from him. I couldn't help but notice the ample amount of space they gave him, and my mind fell back to when he wouldn't let the girl touch him. This also made me think of the time I wouldn't let him touch me. Bloody hell, Don't think about that. I scolded myself and tried to think of anything but the past. Anything but Harry Potter.
LustAintLove: Okay people, a few notes. Sorry this chap may suck, I rushed through it so I could post and not make people wait to long. Sorry if you don't like my writing style, that's just how I write and if you don't like it, I really can't do a thing about that.
I didn't get to great of a response for my first chapter, but seeing as though people are reading this, I decided to continue. I would really like more reviews though. No one is perfect and I know for a fact my writing is not flawless, so please give any advice.
In Case Of Confusion: Draco and Harry have been together in the past (though it wasn't all fluff and stuff, meaning it wasn't very serious.). That's what the first few paragraphs of chapter one are inferring. The last paragraph of this chapter also brings that up. It's not totally obvious, but it's there. Any questions will be gladly answered. Thanks for reading, please review.
