Chapter 34: Missing Not Lost

"When your family decides to have a crisis, you guys don't mess around do you?"

Their new trailer, which was so much bigger than their old van was suddenly too small. Margali paced from her sleeping compartment in the back to the front captain's chairs and back. She didn't dare leave in case Kurt came back, or if someone needed her. She had seen Amanda out looking, and she knew that nearly all of the members of the circus had joined her. It was best that someone stay behind. Margali heard the door open and whirled around.

"Kurt?"

But it was Annika Olsson. "Sorry, it's just me." She said. "Do you need anything?"

Margali sank down in one of the passenger seats and shook her head. "No. I just need to know that Kurt is safe, that's all." She said.

Annika sat down and put a hand on Margali's shoulder. Margali had to resist the urge to force her hand away. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but even that seemed shrill and false.

"Terry found some more flashlights." Annika said.

Margali drew in a shaky breath. The last time anyone had seen Kurt the sun was in the middle of the sky; now they needed flashlights. She nodded numbly. What could she say? Should she be glad that they had more flashlights when her son was missing?

"Lars is really worried." Annika said.

Margali could feel anger surging inside of her at the mention of Lars' name. "He should be." She said.

Annika knitted her brow. "Margali, you don't actually think Lars is responsible do you?"

"Isn't he?" Margali said. "Why was Kurt by himself? Why did Lars leave him alone?"

"It wasn't just Lars; Petra was there, and Ivan and Gretchen. Amanda was there. Are you going to blame all of them?"

Margali balled her fists so tightly she could feel her nails digging into her palms. "How could they have been so stupid?" She said.

"Kurt's seventeen years old. He's not a child anymore. You can't protect him forever." Annika said.

"Can't I?" Margali said. "If not me than who?"

"God." Said Annika. "You many not believe in Him, but you have a son who does." Annika stood up. "Maybe one day you'll have to let Kurt find ways to protect himself." She said. "I'll let you know if there's any news."

Margali stared straight ahead, saying nothing. She hardly noticed Annika leave. She was about to get up and look out the window when she was struck but a searing pain that sliced through her temples as though it meant to rip her in two. Margali gasped and fell to the floor. Her vision filled up with fire, flames licking at her from every direction. Slowly those flames darkened and they were replaced by water so cold that it threatened to freeze her to her core. Clutching the sides of her head, Margali lurched to her feet and staggered to her bed where she lay down.

She could feel life being sapped out of her by some unseen force. Long ago she had given this energy willingly to practice the magic of her ancestors, but she had all but ceased when she started having children. Her life, her position on the way had become too valuable to fritter it away so easily. And yet, now, against her will it was being sucked away. Margali curled up and even as she struggled against it, she followed to visions it gave her. She could hear waves against the shore, there were footsteps above, the world was dark and cool, she was in pain.

Margali opened her eyes in surprise. She knew where Kurt was. She knew exactly where he was. She sat up quickly, but when she went to rise her legs buckled beneath her and she fell to the floor. Whatever it was that had given her this vision had taken the strength she needed to act upon it. There had to be some way to tell someone. She had just enough strength left to do that. She just hoped they would hear her.

Wolfgang shined the beam of his flashlight behind of row of concession stands that had been boarded shut for the night. Several large rats skittered into the shadows but there was no sign of Kurt. Exasperated, he turned in a circle, shining the light around him. How did you find someone with Kurt's coloration, who blended seamlessly in shadow, after dark? It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Unless he happened to catch Kurt in the light directly, he would miss him entirely.

He could hear the voices of the others, calling out Kurt's name, his full name, the one that Wolfgang had given him. Exhausted, Wolfgang sat down on a bench. Officially Kurt had been missing for nine hours, but it had only been a little over four since Lars had come back with Kurt's jacket. Since then he had been pulled in a dozen different directions. He had had to find Terry and cancel the show. Then he had returned to backstage tent to tell everyone that they wouldn't be performing. The festival organizers hadn't been satisfied with Terry's explanation and had sought out Wolfgang to hear it for themselves. He had spent the rest of the time organizing a search, dividing a map of the festival complex up and after the sun went down finding enough flashlights for everyone.

Wolfgang knew he wasn't alone in blaming himself; he was sure that the same thought was going through the minds of everyone who had left with Kurt that afternoon. When he'd given the news to Margali he'd expected her to be angry with him, but instead she nodded her head and shut the door to her trailer behind her as though she already knew, that she had been expecting this all along.

Though he had already covered his area of the map at least four times, but Wolfgang got up to start again. He didn't know what else to do and he was starting to worry that perhaps Kurt wasn't there to be found at all, that he'd been taken somewhere. Wolfgang had heard rumors in America about mutants being kidnapped and experimented on, even used as weapons. It sounded like urban myths to him. Nobody could tell the mutants apart so long as they didn't do anything unusual, they looked the same as everybody else. Or most of them did. He jumped up on to the bench and looked around as though maybe the height would give him some advantage.

"Kurt! Kurt Wagner!" He cupped his hands around his mouth to make his voice louder.

Nothing.

Wolfgang stepped down and was suddenly overcome with the desire to walk to the edge of the pier. It was the first place they had searched after Lars had found the jacket. There was no sign of Kurt there though; there was no need to look again. And yet he was pulled there, almost against his will.

Standing at the edge of the pier Wolfgang looked around him. Nothing. Why had he come here? He started walking back towards the concession area and stopped. He couldn't put his finger on it, but walking away from the pier was uncomfortable. Curious, Wolfgang walked back. It was better. Shining his flashlight around him, Wolfgang walked down the pier towards the beach. The closer he got to the beach, the more the cold uncomfortable feeling grew. If he walked back towards the pier, it went away. It was the strangest thing.

Suddenly Wolfgang understood. He didn't know how it was happening or how he knew this, but it was showing him where Kurt was. He was more systematic this time. He moved in a careful pattern, changing direction each time warmth was replaced with chill. Soon he was walking in a tight circle about halfway between the pier and the beach. But there was nothing there, Kurt wasn't there, nor was there anywhere that he could have hidden.

Wolfgang sighed. It had been wishful thinking. It was amazing how strong the power of suggestion was. He had wanted it to be true so badly that he almost believed he had become Kurt's personal divining rod. He stared down at his feet, shining the flashlight on the weathered boardwalk. With the light, he could almost see between the boards to the beach below. Wolfgang's eyes opened wide. Below him. Could it be?

He dropped to his knees and tried to look between the cracks in the wood but it was impossible. He went to the edge of the railing and looked over, trying to crane his neck to see underneath the boardwalk, but it was too far down and too dark. Ignoring the cold prickly feeling that came with leaving the spot, he jogged to the end of the boardwalk and around it onto the beach. Once on the sand he waved the beam of his flashlight around and called Kurt's name. There was no answer and no sign of Kurt.

Slowing his pace, Wolfgang waited until he felt the cold discomfort fading from his limbs. It was working. He called Kurt's name again, still walking forward. He stopped and looked up, trying to gage if he was beneath the spot on the boardwalk where he had been sure Kurt was. A few more steps forward and he was there. Wolfgang turned and looked into the blackness under the boardwalk, the light from the lamps above hardly penetrated the forest of pylons that supported the pier. Wolfgang took a deep breath and holding his flashlight out in front of him, plunged into the darkness.

Even with the flashlight it was nearly impossible to see. He had to put a hand out in front of him to keep from bumping into things. Wolfgang took several slow steps deeper into the shadows. Suddenly the ground dropped out from under him and he landed in freezing cold water nearly up to his knees. He gasped as the icy water instantly chilled his body to the bone. The light showed that he was in a shallow culvert, maybe three feet wide and not more than two feet deep. Still following his instinct, he waded forward back towards the beach, trying to ignore the freezing water as he did so. Its level was dropping and Wolfgang realized that the ditch was meant to divert seawater away from the pylons as the tides came in and out, preventing them from being undermined.

Wolfgang shined the flashlight down the length of the ditch and felt his blood run cold. Partially submerged in the icy water, was Kurt. He was lying on his side with his back against the side of the culvert. Ignoring the resistance of the water against his legs, Wolfgang pushed forward. He knelt down beside Kurt, shining the flashlight into his face. Kurt didn't respond and for a sickening moment Wolfgang thought his friend was dead. But then a particularly powerful wave sloshed briny water into Kurt's nose and mouth and he started coughing. The feeling of relief was so intense that Wolfgang thought he was going to faint, but it passed as he leaned down to lift Kurt's head out of the water before another wave came and suffocated him.

It was too difficult to see what was going on in the ditch; he couldn't hold the flashlight and keep Kurt out of the water at the same time. Wolfgang put the flashlight on the sand above the culvert and dragged Kurt out of the ditch. He shook Kurt by the shoulder, but Kurt stayed silent, his eyes closed. Even in the dark he could see the dried blood clinging to the soft fur on Kurt's face and in his matted hair. A few of the cuts still oozed, unable to clot in the salty water. How long had Kurt been lying there? Wolfgang didn't want to think about it. He shook Kurt by the shoulders again.

"C'mon. Wake up. Kurt, you're scaring me." He said.

Wolfgang was torn. Should he leave Kurt there and go for help? What if he couldn't find him again? He wasn't even sure how he had managed to find Kurt this time. Then again, he wasn't doing much good down here all alone. Wolfgang's answer came in the form of Amanda's voice above him. Leaving Kurt and the flashlight behind, he dashed out onto the sand and into the light cast from above. He called Amanda's name and he could see her looking from side to side.

"Below you." Wolfgang called up. Amanda came to the edge and looked down over the railing.

"It's Wolfgang." He yelled. "I found Kurt. You need to find Terry. Tell him we need a doctor."

"Is Kurt okay?" Amanda asked.

"No, it's bad. He needs a doctor. Hurry."

Amanda shook her head. "I'm coming down there." She said and started towards the far end where the boardwalk met the beach. Wolfgang jogged along, following her progress from below.

"No, Amanda, listen. Find Terry. It's important." Wolfgang said.

Amanda stopped.

"Please hurry." Wolfgang said. "And get some blankets."

Above him he could see Amanda looked torn, but she seemed to come to a decision and took off running in the opposite direction.

Wolfgang went back to the edge of the culvert and holding the flashlight in his teeth, he dragged Kurt out to where the streetlamps lining the railing cast a dim glow onto the sand. Wolfgang took off his jacket and wrapped it around Kurt in a futile attempt to make him warmer. Then there was nothing to do but wait. Wolfgang had never felt so powerless in his life.

Even though it seemed that time had stopped, a glance at his watch told Wolfgang only a few minutes had passed. Two figures were jogging towards him. When they got closer he recognized Sven and Christian.

"These are the only blankets we could find on the grounds. Lars is going to get more. Oh my God." Sven said. He dropped the blankets down beside Kurt. "What happened to him?"

Wolfgang unfolded one of the thin wool blankets and Sven helped him slide it under Kurt's still form. "I don't know." Wolfgang said, "I can't wake him up."

Christian leaned down and shook Kurt by the shoulders. "Hey Kurt. Wake up. Wachen Sie auf. Nicht mehr Spiele jetzt." He shouted. When there was no response he looked at Wolfgang hopelessly.

"I thought Christian could help." Sven said.

"You have medical training?" Wolfgang asked.

Christian shook his head. "No, but when you've spent as much time at skate parks as I have, you see a lot of injuries. Is this how you found him?"

Wolfgang shook his head. "He was back under there, lying in a ditch." He said pointing into the darkness beneath the pier.

"Wow. How did you find him in there?" Christian asked.

"His hands are like ice." Sven interrupted. "Do you think it's hypothermia?"

"How the hell should I know?" Christian shot back. "No one ever got hypothermia at a skate park."

"Wait," Wolfgang held up his hands, feeling calmer than he should have. "This won't help. Christian, what should we do?"

"You shouldn't have moved him, but I guess it's too late for that. Why is he all wet?"

"He was in the water and it was nearly covering his face. What was I supposed to do?" Wolfgang asked.

"Wait for an ambulance. They have special equipment for this kind of thing." Christian said.

Now it was Wolfgang's turn to lose his temper. "An ambulance! What ambulance? There isn't going to be an ambulance. We can't take Kurt to a hospital. Is that the extent of your medical knowledge? Call an ambulance?"

Christian faltered. "Well, I…"

"He really is cold." Sven interrupted again. He pressed a large hand against Kurt's cheek. "Maybe we should get him inside where it's warm and then talk about this."

Wolfgang ran his hands through his hair. "Okay, yeah. We'll take him back to our trailer on the grounds; it's the closest."

Lars caught up with them as they neared the grounds. He was carrying the blankets from Kurt's bed. "Amanda told me where to find you." He said as he followed them into their office trailer. Sven laid Kurt on the floor and took the blankets from Lars.

"Where is Amanda?" Wolfgang asked.

"We went to get the blankets and when we got there, Margali was passed out on the floor." Lars said. He knelt down on the floor beside Wolfgang. "I'm really sorry Kurt. I didn't know…"

"It's okay." Wolfgang said. "Is Margali all right?"

"I don't know." Lars said, "Amanda said she would stay with her. She asked me to ask if you would look after Kurt."

"Of course I will." Wolfgang said as he and Christian pulled off Kurt's wet clothes. "When your family decides to have a crisis," he said to Kurt, "you guys don't mess around do you?"

Even with his wet clothes gone and wrapped in several dry blankets Kurt was shivering.

"Is there any heat in this box?" Wolfgang asked.

Obediently, Lars and Christian started searching the walls, peeking behind the tapestries and posters.

"Just tear them down!" Wolfgang shouted. In response the two of them began pulling the tapestries from their hooks, leaving them piled on the floor amidst the shreds of Wolfgang's posters.

"Crank it." Christian said, when Lars pulled down one of the hangings to reveal a small forced air heater. "Turn it all the way up." He prompted at Lars' look of confusion. Lars obliged, spinning the dial into the red.

The temperature was already rising in the small space.

"You sent Terry for a doctor?" Wolfgang asked Lars who nodded quickly. Wolfgang looked around the room, that strange powerless feeling filling him again. "What do we do now?" He asked.

Christian pointed at Kurt's right arm, which was swollen and oddly deformed. " I could try and splint his arm." He said, already looking around for something to use. "There's no blood so it might not be that bad."

"Yeah. That's a good idea." Said Wolfgang. Christian knelt beside Kurt and inspected the damage. Lars and Sven stood a few feet away, watching. Sven put his arm around his young cousin who was bravely trying to hold back tears and said something comforting in Swedish.

"I remember seeing paramedics use a folded blanket as a splint once." Christian said. He took one of the extra blankets that Sven had brought down to the beach with him. "I'm going to like, straighten it and then wrap this around it. You hold above his elbow to keep it from bending." Christian said to Wolfgang and then carefully lifted Kurt's arm, trying to realign it so that awful deformity was straight again. He gave a tentative pull and Kurt seemed to come alive instantly, arching his back and howling. It was so inhuman, so primal that Christian let go and everybody jumped back a foot or two in surprise.

"Whoa. I'm not going to try that again." Christian said.

"Good idea." Wolfgang agreed, catching his breath. He looked down at Kurt. "Oh, hello."

Kurt had his eyes opened and was gazing, unfocused, around the room. He coughed and then asked, "Azazel", his voice so weak that it was barely a croak.

"What did you call me?" Wolfgang asked.

Kurt turned to look at Wolfgang and a slow recognition crossed his features. "Wolfgang." He tried to take a deep breath but he winced in pain.

"Is everyone all right? Kurt asked.

Wolfgang gave a short laugh. "We're all fine." He said. "How about you?"

Kurt tried to sit up but was gently restrained by Sven. "It hurts," he said as he dropped back down to the floor. "My arm hurts."

"I wish there was something we could do." Sven said.

"Actually, he could use some clean dry clothes. Can you and Lars go back to his trailer for that?" Wolfgang directed, instantly feeling better now that Kurt was awake and talking. "and Christian, maybe you could wait out side for the doctor in case Terry hasn't given him all the details." The trailer quickly emptied, leaving Kurt and Wolfgang alone.

Kurt rolled over on his side, pressing his wet hair against Wolfgang's knee. "My Rosary. I need my rosary," he said. "It hurts so much."

"We'll get it for you Elf." Wolfgang said, brushing the damp curls away from Kurt's eyes. "I'm going to take care of you. You're going to be fine."