Chapter 10
It was late. Legolas stood in his sleeping clothes on the balcony in front of his window and sighed. He could not rest. The evening had been as difficult as he had thought it would be.
Thranduil had been furious with Legolas; although he did not appreciate Estel's presence, he was Elrond's foster son and that could not be ignored. Thranduil had almost reacted in the same way as Elrond, and accused Legolas of tarnishing Lasgalen's hospitality towards their Rivendell guests. After his father's reproaches, Legolas had felt even guiltier than before. He had stayed as briefly as politely possible for the evening meal and had then quietly gone to check on Estel in the Halls of Healing.
When he had arrived in the room given to Estel, he had found the young man fast asleep. He had looked tired and pale, his injured shoulder carefully bandaged. The young elf looked at the human for a long while. He found the closed eyelids very disconcerting, and although he did not wish to wake Estel, he was unable to resist the temptation to touch Estel's cheek gently. To Legolas' surprise, the young man had unconsciously leaned into the contact. Legolas lingered a moment longer, and then left for his own room.
Now he was unable to sleep. Not for the first time he wondered what he could do to win his father's approval more often. He accepted that he had made a major mistake by wounding Estel, but his thoughts wandered from this. His father never truly seemed to be satisfied with what he was doing, regardless of what it was or how well it was done, it always appeared to be not quite … good enough. With a deep sigh, Legolas ran his hand though his unbound hair, frowning as his fingers snagged in some tangles. With distaste he looked at the sun-bleached ends. If only the Valar had granted him dark hair. At least then he would look like almost everyone else in Mirkwood.
Legolas sighed again. He knew very well that such thoughts were futile, and he had had them on more than one occasion in the past. Being of mixed parentage had been a burden that he had had to bear all his life. He knew little of his mother but knew that she had been a wood elf. This made his parents' marriage very unusual since Thranduil was of Sindarin origin, and marriages between the two groups of elves were extremely rare. Thranduil had always fended off all curious questions, and Legolas had given up any hope that he might find out more about his mother.
The young prince's thoughts returned to Estel. He liked the young man; there was something about him that truly attracted Legolas. He had never felt like this before – when Estel was near he felt a constant desire to touch him, although Legolas normally shunned close contact. In the brief time they had known each other, he had come to like the boy's ready smile and expressive eyes, he liked his voice and his Rivendell accent, but most of all he liked that Estel made no demands on him, and gave of himself freely. With an unconscious smile the young elf thought about the intimate time he had spent with Estel, he had felt happier than he had ever felt before. And they both had learned quite a lot about each other.
Legolas' thoughts returned to his father. He had no doubt that Thranduil would be very angry if he discovered his son's affection for a human. 'But,' Legolas continued the thought,'my feelings are my own and no one, not even my father, can tell me whom I should love.' And with surprise he realised that indeed he had fallen in love, for the first time.
His thoughts returned to Estel and for a long time he tried to remember every expression that he had seen on the young man's face, and the touch of his hands, the feel of his body against his own. Strangely, it was as if they had known each other for much longer than a few days.
Legolas stood on his balcony for such a long time that in the east the darkness was lifting. Dawn was approaching, and the first small bird voices could be heard. Legolas loved the early morning. He decided to forgo sleep entirely and to enjoy a cool morning bath in the river. He would be able to listen to the dawn chorus, and then he would check on Estel again.
Quickly he collected together the clothing he wanted to wear during the day, and some herbal mixture he used to wash his hair, and then made for the river. It was just as pleasant as he had imagined, no one was up yet, and the rising sun and awakening forest created an atmosphere of such serene beauty that Legolas felt privileged to be a part of the Valar's creation.
-o-o-o-
Estel woke up to find the sun streaming in through the open window. His shoulder was sore, a dull ache was emanating from the injury, but otherwise he felt surprisingly well. He enjoyed the early morning sunshine on his face, and had just decided to get up, when there was a knock on the door. It was Legolas.
"Good morning, Estel. I just wanted to see how you are this morning. I half expected you to be still asleep, it is early yet."
The young man smiled. "I feel quite well. I was woken up by the sun, but I do not mind. It looks as if it is going to be a beautiful day. Do you … I mean … might you have some time that we can spend together?" His eyes were full of insecurity.
Legolas sat down on the edge of the bed and took Estel's hands. His eyes were serious when he said: "Estel, I have spent much of the night thinking about yesterday. I do not know how this has happened in such a short space of time, but you mean much to me. I would like to spend as much time with you as I can. For the duration of your visit my father has released me from all my other duties, so that I can 'keep you out of mischief'. This works in out favour now … I mean, if you want to …" Suddenly Legolas lost confidence.
Estel squeezed the elf's hands tightly. "You mean much to me as well, Legolas." Their eyes locked for a long moment, and then Legolas leant forward into a long lingering kiss. After a while they broke apart, and Estel grinned.
"Do you know what you are doing to me, injured shoulder and all?"
Legolas returned the grin. "I have a pretty good idea." Then, suddenly more serious, he said:
"Estel, I have wondered whether your father might allow you to come with me for a few days – I would like to show you more of Lasgalen, but it is very restrictive if we always have to return in the evening. Would you like to do that?"
Estel's eyes sparkled as he answered. "Legolas! I would very much like to do that. But I would have to ask for permission." His face fell a bit. "And I am not sure I will get it…"
"There is only one thing that you can do, and that is ask."
"You are right. But for now, I think I should get up. Are there any of my clothes around?
The young elf nodded. A set of Estel's clothes had been brought.
"Can you manage to get out of bed?"
Estel frowned at Legolas and then laughed. "Legolas, I have an injured shoulder, but the rest of me is perfectly alright!"
-o-o-o-
Despite his exhaustion, Elrond had woken up quite early. He was very concerned about some of the spider victims, time was running out; he needed to make progress with the antidote. The elf-lord decided to get ready for the day and then to check on Estel. The young man should be fine; the injury had not been serious, only bothersome.
When he arrived at the Halls of Healing, Elrond briefly knocked on Estel's door, and entered the room without waiting for an answer. And there he was greeted by a most surprising sight.
Estel sat, fully dressed and ready for the day, on the edge of his bed. His legs were parted, and between them, sitting on the floor and leaning back against the frame of the bed, was Prince Legolas. Estel held a hairbrush in on hand and most of Legolas' light, unbound hair in the other. He was evidently in the process of brushing through the young elf's hair.
Elrond was stunned, partly because the situation was so inappropriate that he could not imagine what would have caused either youngster to act in this manner. Amongst elves, brushing and tying someone else's hair was considered an intimate act, not something to be done to a near stranger. Elrond was shocked and angered in equal parts. Estel should really know better, after all he had spent all his life amongst elves. And Prince Legolas – how could he permit a mere visitor to touch him in this way?
Estel and Legolas were clearly as shocked by his sudden entrance as Elrond was by finding him in this situation. Both youngsters blushed deeply. Elrond thought, 'They both know that this is not entirely appropriate …' Then Legolas regained his composure first.
He got up quickly, and gave the formal greeting. "Mae govannen, Lord Elrond."
"Thank you, Prince Legolas." And then he turned to Estel, frowning. "Estel, what were you doing?"
Estel's cheeks coloured further, and he looked down at his knees. "Ada, I … we, I mean…I just wanted to help Legolas bind his hair. It is this unusual colour and … I just wanted ..."
Legolas intervened. "I allowed him to brush my hair, there is no harm in it." But he, too, had slightly flushed cheeks even though he had somehow managed to return to his rather aloof expression throughout the conversation.
Elrond sighed. "I would suggest, Prince Legolas, you finish yourself what Estel has started." And after a brief pause, "Estel, I need to check on your shoulder."
This was quickly accomplished. "This is fine. In about a week I will pull these stitches out. You should not get this wet until then, so no bathing and swimming!" Estel groaned. In this warm weather, this was not going to be fun.
When the elf-lord was finished, Estel turned to him. "Ada, Legolas would like to show me more of Lasgalen than can be seen in a day. Could we go out for a few days together, if King Thranduil gives his permission as well?"
Elrond looked at his human son pensively. He felt uneasy about granting this request, somehow he felt that it would be better not to let these two youngsters spent too much time together as a twosome. And yet, he could not really come up with a good reason why he should not allow this excursion.
"Very well then. But only on one condition." He looked sternly at Legolas. "You, young prince, are responsible for this injury. Make sure that these bandages are changed and that Estel behaves himself." Legolas looked down, feeling again very guilty.
"I will make sure that he is looked after." Legolas looked up and his dark eyes met the stern gaze of the elf-lord. "But I still have to ask my father for permission."
-o-o-o-
Over breakfast, Legolas asked his father for permission to show Estel more of Lasgalen. King Thranduil had no objections, as long as both of them were content to go. He was not keen on the human's presence anyway, and if Legolas did not mind keeping him out of the way, it made Thranduil's life easier.
So, after they had finished their meal, Legolas and Estel packed a set of spare clothing each, their weapons and some provisions. Both had travelled before, and it was mid-summer so bar light blankets no coverings needed to be taken. They were ready to leave by mid-day.
When Estel wanted to shoulder his pack. Legolas suddenly stopped. "You cannot carry this on your back, Estel. The straps will run directly over your injury. Let us repack everything into my pack, I am responsible for your injury, the least I can do is to carry your things. It is not much anyway."
Estel hesitated. But then he shrugged his shoulders, wincing as he did. Legolas was right; carrying his pack would be uncomfortable. They quickly repacked and then sought out their fathers to say their farewells, and promised to return within a week.
-o-o-o-
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