A Defensive Situation

Part 6

The second day dawned. Not that Christine knew it was dawn, being underground and everything. She lay in bed, wondering if she should get up and dreading what she might find if she did.

Eventually she dressed and peered out into the main room of the cellar. There was no sign of Erik and she moved out into the living room.

However, she tripped over a cleverly placed piece of string, shrieked and fell head first into the lake. Erik came stumbling out of his bedroom as he heard her scream. His face lit up.

"Don't worry Christine, I'll save you!" He shouted. But first he ripped his shirt off and did a perfect dive into the water. He grabbed Christine and pulled her up to the surface. She spluttered and he pulled her ashore, slightly disappointed that she didn't seem to need mouth-to-mouth.

"Are you OK?" He asked. She glared at him and pointed at the string.

"Did you put that there?" she demanded. Erik hesitated but she glared at him so ferociously he hung his head.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"So I could save you." he admitted. "And I did!"

Christine glared at him and he began to wonder if he'd made a mistake.

"Erik, if you EVER do that again I will personally string you up with your own noose!" she said, storming back to her bedroom.

Erik scratched the back of his head. That hadn't gone quite as he'd planned it.


Nadir knocked on the door to Raoul's house. To his surprise, it swung open. He went in and looked around.

"Raoul? It's Nadir. Are you here?" he headed for the room with the computer, but to his astonishment Raoul was not there. Nadir looked around. The room was in complete disarray, the furniture broken, things strewn about and there was a piece of paper pinned to the door.

Nadir read it and his eyes widened.

"Oh crap. Christine is not going to like this."


"C'mon Christine… come out." Erik pleaded. Christine had locked herself in her room an hour ago and was now refusing to open the door.

"No."

"Please? I've got cookies!"

"You're not going to tempt me with baked goods, Erik!"

"I could sing for you." he offered.

"NO!"

He glowered at the door.

"Come out!"

"No." she said sullenly.

"Why not?"

"Because you're annoying me and if I come out you'll start acting out phanfiction plots!"

"No, I won't." Erik lied.

"You're lying!"

He was sorely tempted to kick the door, but didn't.

"I promise I won't. Look, I've got cookies and Buffy is starting in a moment. It's got Spike in it!"

There was a silence and she said warily,

"How much Spike?"

"He spends most of this episode completely shirtless." Erik promised. There was another stretch of silence and then she opened the door a crack.

"OK. I'll come out. But you have to do something first."

"What?" Erik said eagerly.

"Put a shirt on."

"OK. But you'll come out?"

"Yes."

She opened the door and Erik stepped back to let her out. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the foresight to remove the string. He tripped backwards over it, grabbed out at the nearest thing, which happened to be Christine and they both fell into the lake again.

"I didn't do that on purpose!" Erik said quickly. Christine stared at him in horror, realising that she was lying on top of him.

At that moment Nadir burst in and stopped in astonishment as he saw Erik and Christine, both soaking wet, lying in the shallows of the lake, Christine lying on top of Erik who had no shirt on. Nadir squeaked, turned around, went out, closing the door behind him. And knocked.

Christine jumped up and ran to the door.

"Nadir, it's not what it looks like!" she said hastily. Erik grinned.

"Might be what it looks like."

"No, it's not!" Christine said fiercely. Nadir looked from one to the other and then said,

"We have an emergency."

They stared at him.

"What is it?"

"Raoul's been kidnapped." Nadir said solemnly, holding a note to Christine. Erik snorted.

"Pfft. That's not an emergency. That's not even interesting."

"Shut up, Erik." Christine said crossly, reading the note. "Who kidnapped him?"

To Christine de Chagny a.k.a Christine Daae a.k.a the Cheating Whore

We have Raoul de Chagny as our hostage. We aware of the situation you are currently holding with the Phantom of the Opera and if you do not follow our instructions a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.

We are a secret group of Erik/Christine phans and do not feel that simply staying with Erik for a week is good enough, as this will no doubt break his heart when you leave. We have decided, therefore, that you will stay with Erik indefinitely.

We will contact you as and when we feel necessary. If you agree to these terms Raoul will be safe. If you choose to ignore our instructions, you can say goodbye to Raoul's foppy pretty boy hair. He will also be mercilessly tortured.

Inform us of your decision by sending an email to this address: ECobsessivesanonymous POTO. com

Yours sincerely

Erik/Christine Shippers United

"Oh my GOD." Christine said in utter disbelief when she had read the note aloud. She looked over Erik, expecting him to be equally outraged and saw him lounging in his chair, his hands behind his head, grinning. She scowled at him and then turned to Nadir.

"Where did you get this?"

"Your house. I went to check on Raoul and that was pinned to the door. What are you going to do?"

"Well, I'll have to stay. I can't let them torture my husband. I'll have to email them." Christine said miserably. Nadir frowned.

"How? They said to stay in the lair, but there's no internet connection. You destroyed the computer."

Christine sank onto a chair holding her head in her hands. Erik felt a twinge and sighed.

"Is it really that bad being here?"

"Erik, you just tripped me into the lake. Twice." She said bitterly. Erik got up and went to his room, emerging a few minutes later with a laptop.

"Here. It's connected." He said sadly. Christine stared from him to it and then narrowed her eyes.

"You were reading phanfiction, weren't you?"

"Only a little bit." Erik said defensively.

Christine shook her head furiously and tapped onto the computer. Nadir looked at Erik sternly.

"Erik, really…"

"Oh, bugger off." Erik said grumpily, heading to the fridge for milk.


Christine paced the cellar, trying to figure out what to do. Erik watched her calmly and Nadir was watching the news. Erik said,

"Christine, I don't know why you're getting so worked up."

"My husband has been kidnapped. By YOUR fans!"

"You mean phans."

"Shut up! And they called me a cheating whore!" she said crossly, waving the paper at him. He shrugged indifferently.

"Well…"

"Erik, how could I have been cheating on you? We were never together!" Christine pointed out furiously. Erik stuck his lip out.

"And whose fault is that?"

Christine glared at him and didn't reply. She looked at Nadir, who shrugged.

"I don't know… I could try and track them down and find out where they're holding Raoul, but I wouldn't be able to get him out. I've met some EC shippers personally and they can be very violent. They've got a strange obsession with Punjab lassoes."

"If you can find him, we'll think of the rest afterwards. Just find him." Christine pleaded.

Nadir nodded and disappeared. Christine glared at Erik again who looked surprised.

"Hey, it's not like I told them to kidnap him!"

"Oh, you were thinking it." Christine snapped, going to her room and slamming the door. Erik shook his head in despair. Women…


Christine glared down accusingly at the piece of paper in her hands.

"Stupid phans. Fans. Whatever."

She threw the note onto the desk and collapsed onto the bed, cursing Erik under her breath. Men…