It wasn't until a month after I'd been there that Kazekage-sama actually began trusting me and inquired about my ability.
At his request I demonstrated on Kankuro-sama and he seemed pleased with the result. So here I stood about to knock on Gaara of the Desert, Kazekage of Suna no Kuni's door, whom even though I watched sunsets, with had never said more then a handful of words to me. It was weird, like entering the lair of some strange beast, like a bird being stalked by a large predatorily animal.
Scary.
My knuckles didn't even touch the wood but the door opened.
Sand wafted back towards the Kazekage's gourd and he looked up from the book he was reading. He nodded for me to come in and set his book down. "Evening Kazekage-sama." I bowed and entered and shut the door behind me. I sat down on the floor in front of him and smiled.
"I suppose we'll start with the Mandala spread?" He nodded and though I doubted he knew what I was talking about I was pleased to see that the book he had been reading was the one I'd given him that contained information of my art.
"The first is 'Self' This is the unifying principle in the human psyche, it embraces both the conscious and unconscious. It is through this we make contact with our anima and animus, and confront our shadow, that part of us which is split off and needs to be reintegrated."
I paused he was following what I was saying.
Good.
"The second is 'Desires' this is our instinctive urges and basic needs."
The part of my brain that held all my 'naughty' and 'smut' filled thoughts longed to add something about sex in there. Thankfully in the time I'd spent away from Shima I'd gotten the urge to blurt out stuff under control. She might not be the best influence (ignoring the fact that she got me kicked out of five different apartments of course.) but by God she made life interesting.
"Third is 'Dreams' What we ideally want to be, accomplish, have, or give to be a human being in the fullest sense; love, compassion, health, etcetera."
"Fourth is 'Pursuits' despite our dreams these are the things we wish to pursue; career, hobbies and so on.
"Fifth we have 'Attachments' These hold us back from achieving our true dreams. Attachments are usually false values like money, prestige, fame, and possessions."
"Next is our 'Qualities' basically our good points."
"Seventh is our 'Sorrows' or our faults, things that need improvement."
"Eighth is our 'Self- image' the overall view of ourselves this relates to the other seven cards specifically to the 'Self' card."
"Finally we have our 'Soul's urge' our true sense of purpose and destiny that transcends all else." I paused, taking a breath.
Normally I'm not chatty and usually I don't explain the spreads or the process; as you can see it's rather tedious.
"You forgot four cards." He said in a somber tone.
So he really did read the book. I smiled.
"Earth, Fire, Water and Air are only used in the Alchemical Spread." I explained as I took the Tarot cards from the right breast pocket on the inside of my coat.
He watched bemusedly as I shuffled the cards the pictures flashing by as I bridged them.
"Ready?" I asked bridging them a second time, he didn't respond which I took as a 'yes'. I held the deck out to him. "Coat your palm with some chakra then lay it lightly on the deck. This will make your reading be more accurate." Dark golden energy which looked like airy sand flitted lightly on the cards as he pressed his palm upon it delicately. I bridged it a third time then drew from the top of the deck laying the card's face down in the respective Mandala pattern. (The spacing on this is to close together.)
9
8 2
7 1 3
6 4
5
I flipped the number one card over it was The Magician, I moved to the second card and turned it nimbly it was The Empress, third was The Fool, fourth was The Chariot, fifth was The Five of Cups, sixth was Strength, seventh was The Lovers, eighth was The Three of Swords and lastly was The Ace of Wands. The Kazekage looked from the cards laid out in the Mandala pattern to me expectantly. I set about explaining.
"First we have The Magician, one hand pointing to the heavens the other towards the earth with the symbol for infinity over his head. He represents the powers we each process to create meaning in our lives. His hand positions tells us that creative power rests within us as well as outside but is always in reach. He holds great knowledge which he has learned through trial and error, he is extremely self-reliant and self-confident. The reverse meaning is that your lacking creativity or are afraid to experiment. At the same time it could also be saying that you are too self assured and what worked once may not work again. But we don't have to worry about that because it's not reversed." I paused to clear my throat and moved onto the second card; The Empress.
"The woman on her throne amidst nature with a crown of hexagrams and a scepter represents life, death and change in the form of the Earth Mother or Mother Nature. She is the Empress. She represents the unseen forces in life that guide living things through growth. She enriches our souls and we can see her daily in all living things. She gives and takes without prejudice or judgment, she is the ebb and flow, she is the life cycle. She reminds us that things cannot stay the same, that life is constant. Her reverse meaning is a refusal to accept change , to be overly satisfied with material possessions and seeing them as more then momentary rewards. Also, not applying yourself to productive tasks, no growth. But like the magician… this is not reverse. So it means that you have accepted change and are growing up mentally." My finger wafted over to the third card; The Fool.
"This man in his colorful outfit and small traveling bag represents us seeking life. He is The Fool. Living to live. He represents the purity of action without hesitation or thought. He lives for the future, nothing holds him to the present and his traveling bag, light and small on a stick on his shoulder is behind him and does not weigh him down, this represents his past. Life has left few scars on him and he is a liberated spirit. He believes in all things especially the potential that life holds, but when asked to elaborate he'd simply smile and say 'Find out for yourself.' His source of knowledge comes from within. A sort of 'all things are possible' aura." I paused, noting the Kazekage's expression. "Does The Fool remind you of someone?" I asked quirking my head to one side. He blinked several times and looked hard at me, I could feel his effort to keep the surprise off his face.
"What?" His voice was low and dangerous. Keeping calm I pretended not to notice his change in demeanor.
"Well… your eyes said that you were remembering something or someone that was very important in your life." I explained mentally exhaling (relieved) that his posture relaxed.
"Oh…" I suppose that was his way of apologizing for snapping. He motioned for me to continue so I did.
"Right… err… the reverse side of The Fool. The line between The Fool and foolishness is thin. It is a need to exert more caution over your actions. It could also mean that you are holding yourself back to much, that your ignoring your instinct or saying 'If in doubt, don't do it.' The Fool is reversed in this position." He nodded somberly, the nostalgia still flitted through his eyes but I let him be with his thoughts for a moment. I cleared my throat finally and he snapped up slightly, not much, but enough for me to notice.
"Fourth is The Chariot. It is a warrior like man in a chariot (duh) drawn by a black lion and a white lion. The charioteer is full of power, ambition, and determination; and from his youthful face we can determine that he represents the zest and burning desire the young have to succeed, win, and dominate. It reflect the innocent desire to charge into the world and claim what we can. It is, however, not the same innocence exerted by the fool who is at the beginning of the journey but the charioteer has a purpose his success will be measured in how much he accumulates, but later in life he will recognize that this will only limit his happiness. It also represents discipline and control, over his emotions and path through life. The reversed side of this is that he is too focused on material gain, moving to fast and needs to slow down. A 'pull back on the reins' if you will. And a need to broaden your horizons. In this spread The Chariot is reversed." I paused again to clear my throat as I moved my focus to the sixth card; Strength.
"The mourning figure in a black robe, three cups spilt in front of him two empty cups behind him, is The Five of Cups. A you can infer from the picture… it isn't all that pleasant. The Five of Cups represent unhappy endings and broken relationships. But it reminds us that we need to pick up the pieces and start building again; to see what we can learn from our losses; to turn our back to the past and look to the future. What's gone is gone and finally to hold onto what we have, no matter how little it is." I paused, my hand strayed absently up to my neck, where, (under my coat and shirt) was the outline of a needle strung through at the tip with an short inscription. The only memento from my first real love. (Deceased.) My eyes snapped up and I dropped my hand, the Kazekage was looking at me curiously. I smiled.
"Sorry… bit of nostalgia…" I cleared my throat meaningfully. "The reverse, which this card is, means that although loss has been suffered, there is no reason to feel hopeless about the future. Things will look up again and an old friend may hold the key." Another wave of what looked like him remembering an epiphany (major turning point in ones life) flooded through his eyes but I knew better then to mention this.
"The picture of the woman petting the lion is Strength. Unlike The Chariot, this represents inner strength which carries us through life against all obstacles. It is our ability to cope with changes both positive and negative. It gives us courage to make change when something is in our way and to carry on no matter how bleak the future looks. It is us believing in ourselves. It's reversed meaning is that we are not confident in our abilities and that we are looking outside of ourselves for what exists within, the will to go on, the will to live and survive regardless of the outcome. Time to heal our fears."
"This card isn't reversed…" His voice was quiet, I almost didn't hear him.
"Err… your right it isn't. That means that you have what it takes to survive, to pick up the pieces and continue on."
"Is this crap real?" His gaze flicked up from the cards to me. He was dead serious.
"Well…"
I hate explaining this stuff.
"that all depends on you." The Kazekage's expression encouraged me to continue.
"Well… you gave the cards and implement of your chakra which made them more susceptible to your life force. Or, like some believe, it's a matter of cold guessing, giving no definite answers but instead implying things which could be warped in and out of context by ones own ideas and thought process. Again I say… it all depends on you." I was about to continue with the seventh card but he cut me off.
"Do you believe in this?" Rarely was I asked my opinion, and rarely did the asker actually care what said opinion was.
"Well…"
I don't know.
"Yes. In all my years of doing this… the cards have never been wrong, good or bad… the outcome was always as predicted, though very few others noticed this calling it 'groundless science' and the like."
I shrugged.
"I have no reason not to believe in it." He nodded which I took as his way of saying 'continue'.
"The Lovers, male and female being blessed by an 'angel'. The Lovers represent many things. The union between male and female, building a future, the male and female side of our personalities male representing intellect and female representing a connection with our unconscious needs. The card also represents an absence of love in our lives." Another wave of nostalgia washed through the KazeKage's eyes and his features hardened, the 'ai' tattoo on his forehead seemed to glow a bit… or was that just me? "This one is not reversed but in retrospect it represents how love can blind and that a relationship could be out of balance. How one could be looking at only one side of a relationship or living with the misconception that they can go through life alone. The answers can't be found on the outside alone…" He looked far away… I could feel his pain, which turned into anger, rage, then… nothing.
"Aah…" My head twinged painfully and I cringed rubbing my temple delicately.
"What's wrong?" His voice was filled with concern, well… as much concern as Gaara of the Desert had anyway.
"N-nothing…" I shook my head and smiled. "It's nothing to worry about." Did he scoot closer? It seemed like that.
"Anyway… number eight The Three of Swords. Three swords piercing a heart under rain clouds. This represents how it is necessary to remove what was causing you pain, trouble or difficulty. And now you experience new pain, but this pain will pass. The new pain will, however, cause you to sharpen your focus, to see new directions, and to put the problems of the past behind you. The reverse meaning is that your pain will remain until you acknowledge the reason for the separation or change you had to make . You must put it behind you so you can get on with your life. This card is reversed."
This time I didn't pause.
"And at last we come to the Ace of Wands. The hand and wrist emerging from the clouds holding the wand with foliage growing on it over the land represents new beginnings. The birth of an idea that leads to action, the start of an enterprise or new challenges. You can sense potential and look forward to the future. The reversed side means having trouble starting, false hopes, misdirected energy. This card is reversed." The silence hung in the air like a fart in an elevator for a few minutes as his teal eyes analyzed the cards rolling over each meaning.
I sneezed and his focus snapped up.
"Well… now that the first step is accomplished… would you like to attempt Nanatsu Seiryoku Mawaru no Jutsu?"
He looked apprehensive for a minute, but the words I'd just spoken about starting something new rolled through his mind, I could feel it.
"Alright." The apprehension in his voice battled with determination, though he did well to mask both emotions.
He was good at that.
But over the past month I'd grown used to whatever slight mannerisms, tone, pitch, lip movement, and even eye movement he displayed, seeing as he displayed very few it was easy to pinpoint these things to emotion.
I gathered up the cards and slid them back into the hidden pocket in my coat then crawled onto his bed and sat so that my legs were folded under me. His apprehension was more evident now as he crawled sloooooooowly onto the bed and rested his head on my lap.
"Do you trust me?" I asked cracking my knuckles to ease the flow of chakra. He didn't respond, his eyes told me all I needed to know. "Relax… remember these numbers in this order; 0, 1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 1, 5, 3." I formed several seals rapidly with my hands, I'd done this enough… I didn't have to think about it.
"Nanatsu Seiryoku Mawaru no Jutsu!" Seven tiny beads of energy appeared on my palms each one glowed a different color. "Close your eyes and relax." Gently I placed my hands on either side of his temples. At first my fingers hit sand, but it faded away and lightly I pressed my hands against his temples. "Think of the numbers and let your mind drift." I closed my eyes. I felt his body relax and cautiously, slowly, carefully, I pushed the energy beads towards him.
Sand licked against my hand, had it been any other person, had I not known him a month prior to this, I would've been startled and swatted at the sand thinking it a bug, but that would've broken the Jutsu causing damage not only to him but to myself.
"KazeKage-sama if at all possible would you please not move. Not even the sand. If my hands move now it will hurt both of us."
"I thought I asked you… to call me… Gaara… Edosuke… san…" He sounded so sleepy. Good… the Jutsu was working.
"And I asked you to call me Ed. Didn't I Gaara-kun?" He was drifting further into sleep. Soon… very soon.
"Yeah… you did… Ed-chan…" I was shocked but my hands remained as they were.
Did he just…? I shook my head slightly. Focus… Inside of me I felt a stir. It started out as a slow twirl where I drew root chakra from at the base of my spine, as it moved up past my sacral chakra I felt it grow in strength.
Ready Seikatsu?The skin on my back seemed to ripple as an answer. The stir grew in size, strength and speed as it passed up through my solar plexus, it felt encompassing around my heart and I felt like I was drowning… drowning in sand. This feeling increased as the stir became more violent around my throat. I refused the urge to gasp and on my lap I felt Gaara tense up, cringe in pain, relax, then tense again. The feeling of drowning increased as the violent stir reached my brow chakra and then finally the crown.
Sei…SEIKATSU! I called out desperately.
What are you doing! The voice ripped through my body and left me shuddering.
SEIKATSU! I couldn't do this on my own… what the hell was that bird thinking?
Tch. I trained you for this… you know what you have to do… don't rely on me to bail you out. I won't always be here… Her voice filled my mind and seemed to flush the drowning feeling away leaving me with the sensation of drifting on water.
Seikatsu… The voice growled, I felt it's tone vibrate up through the chakra I had connected to Gaara with. It resonated with power… and hatred.
Shukaku… have you nothing better to do then torment this boy? Seikatsu sounded pissed off. Which was an emotion I'd never felt from her. I felt another swoosh and the drowning sensation left me. I'll take care of Shukaku… heal the boy. Again with the swoosh and the sensation of water and sand left me. I took in a calming breath and focused on the pulses moving through the chakra.
Gaara? A noise like a radio on the static station was the response. Gaara? The static seemed less dense… I could almost hear something… GAARA!
Ed…? The voice sounded far away and still static-ish. Suddenly there was a smear of colors all around and a flurry of noises, then there was only gold, blue and a sobbing. I blinked… I was in his mind.
