Okay folks, I never promised a happy story here… I hope that you didn't get the wrong impression..

Catharsis

Chapter 4

Jean had no memory of the ride to the hospital. She opened her eyes to the dizzying sight of white walls and wooden doors flying by her head. Nonsensical voices whispered in her mind, the random thoughts of the people in the vicinity.

-more pain medication, can't they see how much this hurts-

-how much is this going to cost me-

-I wish you'd just go to sleep so I can go home, this is so boring-

A contraction pulled across her stomach, and she reached for her belly. Still rounded, her son moved inside, feeling very much like an octopus swirling within her. "He's okay." She murmured to herself.

"There you are." Scott said, walking next to her as she was pushed down the hall. "Hank gave you some really nice stuff, apparently."

Jean looked at her husband and felt something twist inside her. He was being so cheerful, so upbeat. It confirmed that he was just as scared as she was. She tried to compose the words, to tell him not to worry and that everything was going to work out. Even in her head they sounded so hollow and brittle, so she offered him a watery smile. "I'm glad you're here."

They turned a corner and entered a private room. Two orderlies helped Jean move onto the bed, which had been reclined to be perfectly flat. Jean looked up at the ceiling as a nurse bustled around her taking her temperature and checking her blood pressure.

"I'm Tina." She introduced herself as she watched the gauge on the cuff. She was a blocky, industrious nurse who was all business. "Looks like you're running a temperature." She the probe out of Jean's mouth and discharged the plastic sheath into the garbage.

"What is it now?" Hank asked from the corner of the room.

Jean lifted her head up and looked for him, not realizing that Hank had come with them to the hospital. Instead of the huge blue furred man that they had affectionately dubbed 'Beast' stood a tall broad shouldered blond haired man with wire rimmed glasses. He had brought his holo-emitter. "Dr. McCoy, so glad to see you." She still felt tremendously high from the morphine he'd administered earlier.

He smiled slightly, waiting for the nurses response.

"39.2." The nurse paused over her clipboard. "Can I speak to you outside about your orders, Dr. McCoy?"

"Of course." He motioned for the nurse to leave the room. "I'll be right back, sit tight."

"Not going anywhere fast." Jean said, staring around at the room. It was a maternity suite, painted a pale pink. It was deceptive, a room specially designed to feel more like a home and less like a hospital. Instead of stackable plastic chairs, there was a couch and a rocking chair. All of the storage units looked like pine cabinets. It could've been a hotel room, almost. The floor was still a sickly green slate tile and the bed she lay on was still a hospital bed.

Scott had perched himself on the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands grasped to his mouth.

"Are you praying?" Jean asked him softly.

Scott took his hands away from his face. "Do you think I should be?"

The answer caught in her throat and she couldn't trust her voice not to crack if she spoke. :Yes.:

Hank rejoined them, with another doctor in tow. The holo-emitter was designed to mimic every aspect of his physical being with a lifelike shell that hid his true identity. Unfortunately the holo-emitter could not hide the somber look on Hank's face. "I'd like to introduce Dr. Holmes, he's a perinatologist here."

"Perinatologist?" Scott asked before Jean got a chance to.

"A doctor for high risk pregnancies." Hank explained. "He and I are in agreement, that we're going to start you on magnesium sulfate, a drug that will relax your muscles to keep you from contracting further. We're also going to run an amniocentesis to check the fluid around the baby."

Jean was confused. "But, I already had one of those."

"Yes, but we need to run another one." Hank was being deliberately evasive.

Jean couldn't look at him anymore, choosing instead to look up again at the blank pink ceiling. She had the ability, she could sneak into his mind and extract his thoughts without Hank even knowing. But she couldn't do that, not to Hank. Instead she turned to Scott. :What do you think the test is for:

I don't know and I don't like that he's not telling us.

:He's got his doctor hat on, if he doesn't want to tell us.. We'll just wait I guess.:

The nurse returned, and got an IV started in Jean's arm. She bought in a plastic bag of fluids and hooked it up to the monitored drip. "This will make you feel really bad, like you've got the flu. Kinda hot and tired, but it's normal."

Jean closed her eyes. I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe this is happening. To her surprise, Scott slid his palm beneath hers on the bed.

I'm right here, you know. You're not alone.

:I'm so scared, Scott. It's what Hank's not saying that has me so worried, he hasn't said anything about the baby.:

He gave her hand a squeeze. Just take a deep breath, we're in the right place Jean. It'll be okay.

It took about a half an hour for Dr. Holmes to return with another nurse and an ultrasound machine. The nurse prepped Jean's belly, swabbing it with the yellow brown betadine solution as Scott looked on from the corner of the room to stay out of the way. Using the ultrasound machine, Dr Holmes tried to move the baby to get access to a large pocket of fluid. He held poised over Jean's stomach waiting for the baby to hold still. "He's very active." The doctor said, watching the monitor carefully.

He better not hit my son with that needle. Scott growled in her mind.

His tone made her smile in spite of herself. :He won't, he's a professional.:

If he does, I'm blasting him out that window. Just watch me.

The doctor saw his opportunity and jabbed the needle in, drawing out a few tablespoons worth of fluid. A weight squeezed her chest as Jean watched the syringe fill. The fluid wasn't clear, as it had been when Hank had performed the same test so many weeks ago. Now it had a distinct pale honey color. Jean swallowed as the doctor withdrew the needle. "Is that bad, the color? Is something wrong?"

The doctor handed the sample at the nurse, then removed his gloves. "Amniotic fluid can vary in color. We're going to have it tested and let you know if we find anything." Yet, he was careful not to look at her or her husband as he left the room.

Jean prayed as the nurse cleaned up her belly and removed the equipment from the room. Please god, protect my baby. Don't let anything happen to him, don't take him away from me.

Time marched on in the room, the sun set outside and soon it was just another dark night. The magnesium sulfate indeed made Jean very sick, but the contractions had slowed to nothing and her exhaustion caught up with her as she let herself drift in and out of sleep. Scott however, didn't deal with stress in such a confined space well and took to pacing in the room, down the hall and around the nurses station and back again.

Jean didn't hear the knock at the door the first time, just Hank's palm on her shoulder, so cool against her skin. She opened her eyes, looking up at him through groggy eyes. "I didn't recognize you there for a sec, Hank. That holo-emitter throws me every time."

Although his focus was on Jean, he spoke to Scott. "Lock the door, I'm turning off the holo-emitter."

She heard Scott's steps across the tile, then the door click and lock. "What's going on?"

The image around Hank shimmered and evaporated, leaving the familiar countenance of their blue furred friend. "We ran the test on the amniotic fluid. The results are not good."

Her breaths came quicker as the room began to spin. "Don't, Hank."

"There is an infection, in the fluid and as a result the placenta. It's very aggressive in that environment, and the baby has no natural defenses. So the infection is affecting him as well."

Scott, always the leader, wanted to take charge. "So we take the baby out, right?"

"Yes." Hank said quietly. "But the baby is too young, his lungs too immature to survive."

"NO!" Jean said through clenched teeth. "I won't let this happen. Hank, you can't let this happen. Give me antibiotics, give the baby antibiotics, we'll fight this!"

"That won't work, Jean." Hank shook his head, looking at her with pained yellow eyes. "That has never worked, the placenta is still an effective filter and the antibiotics will not get to the baby."

Her breaths came like shudders through her chest. "Then I keep him in, until he's old enough. Can't they give him steroids to develop his lungs?"

Hank shook his head, "That's not an option. The infection will pass to you soon if we don't get the baby out, if that happens the bacteria will invade your bloodstream and send you into sepsis. It can be fatal, Jean."

"But would the baby survive?" Jean asked, squeezing the tears from her eyes.

"It's not worth it," Scott said, his voice unyielding. He was a leader at his core and making life and death decisions were an every day responsibility. "I will not lose you again. There is no choice here."

"Says you!" Jean cried out, covering her face with her shaking hands. "This isn't happening! Oh my god, Hank. Please tell me there is another solution."

"We don't have any time for this, Jean. Your body is already trying to fight the infection; if your fever goes much higher we're looking at seizures. The magnesium sulfate is a short-term solution. Your body will continue to contract until you give birth, it will fight to save itself."

"And the baby?" She choked.

"Jean." Hank said softly, almost begging not to answer the question.

"Odds, Hank. Give me odds."

"Five percent, maybe. The infection will cause massive brain damage at the very least. He would be very, very handicapped if he survived."

Jean couldn't speak, she couldn't think. The shock of it all, of Hank's words and all of the dreams that she held for her baby spun in her mind like a whirl wind of broken glass. It sliced and burned her as it spun around her, unchecked. She only partly heard Hank speaking.

"The nurse will be in to start the pitocin and induce labor."

For a moment, Jean was able to refocus. She lashed out at Hank, pushing him into the opposite wall with her mind. "No! No one, not even you, will take my baby away from me." I'll kill anyone who tries.

"Jean." Scott's voice was low and calm, so close to her she could feel his breath on her skin. "Let Hank go, it's not his fault."

"Did you hear what he said? He wants our baby to die."

"No, he wants you to live. Let. Him. Go."

Jean took her hands from her face, so overcome she couldn't speak. :Don't let them do this, Scott. Don't let them.:

His hands cupped her face as he leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. This is the way it has to be, babe. We can't save him, but we can still save you. Please don't make me lose you both.

Jean reached up and grabbed Scott with a desperation she had never felt, as if holding on to him would rescue her from the nightmare that had cornered her in this horrid hospital room. :Let's leave, let's run away and never come back. If we go now, maybe this will all just disappear, and things can go back the way they were.: She sobbed, deep wrenching spasms that shook her even as he held her close.

We will, as soon as this is over. I'll take you far away, I promise.

Jean released Hank and let her grief break free as she wept hopelessly into Scott's chest.