Chapter 16
This evening the meal was not an elaborate affair. A table with different foods had been set up outside, it was another warm night. As people arrived, they took a plate and filled it with food, and then either sat down on one of the tables underneath the trees in front of the palace, or walked and talked whilst they ate.
When Legolas and Estel arrived, they quickly checked for their families. Thranduil and Elrond stood with a group of Thranduil's senior warriors and advisors, and the twins were nowhere to be seen. Legolas took Estel's arm and guided him to the table.
"Here, take a plate. What would you like?"
Estel surveyed the food offered. There was much variety, some of the dishes were familiar, others he did not know. Finally he decided on some cold, spiced venison, a mix of wild mushrooms and a selection of forest fruit. Legolas looked at his plate.
"This looks nice. I will have the same."
After he had filled his own plate, Legolas turned to Estel. "Come, let us get some wine with this."
Once they had all they wanted for food and drink, Legolas guided Estel away from the main eating area. "We have not much time left, I want to show you something tonight. I do not think that you will have an opportunity to see it tomorrow. I am sure there will be a formal dinner before your departure."
With their food and drink in hand, Legolas led Estel up a narrow forest path away from the Elven settlement. After a while, it began to climb steeply, and Estel had difficulties to balance his plate, glass and himself.
Legolas noticed his predicament and stopped. "I should have realised that you would find this difficult. I am sorry. But there is something I would very much like you to see. If you give me your plate, I will put your food on my plate, it is the same anyway, and we can share later. We can leave your plate here and retrieved it later. I can carry your glass so that you have your hands free."
Estel nodded, and blushed fiercely. He was deeply embarrassed to be so clumsy that he needed his hands to climb, whereas Legolas simply appeared to walk up the rocky incline with a plate of food and two glasses of wine.
Fortunately the climb was not long, a brief scramble upwards, and then Legolas said:
"Estel, this is what I wanted to show you." He sat down their provisions and turned to see the young man's face.
Estel was stunned. They had arrived on the edge of a small mountain pool, which was shielded on three sides by rock walls. The moon shone above, and the still, dark water reflected the silvery light. It was very quiet, and the scene was of such a serene beauty that Estel involuntarily gasped.
They stood in silence for a long time. Then Legolas said quietly, almost a whisper as not to disturb the beauty of their surroundings, "Let us sit down and eat."
They sat on the grassy shore of the pool, close together and with their legs touching. Legolas balanced the plate with their food on his right and Estel's left thigh, and they ate in quiet contentment.
"Thank you for showing me this place, Legolas. It is beautiful. And it is so near to your father's palace! I am surprised not to see more people here."
"Not many elves come here. Everyone knows about this place, but few use it."
When they were finished and had only their wine left, Estel pulled up his knees and curled up against the elf. Almost instinctively, Legolas' arms closed around the boy, holding him close. They sat for many long moments, watching the moon slowly move across the night sky. Neither man nor elf felt the need to speak, to be in each other's company was enough.
Slowly Estel dozed off, still encircled by Legolas' arms. Finally, Legolas' eyes unfocused and he gave in to sleep also, leaning his head against Estel's hair.
-o-o-o-
Some hours later, Estel awoke, stiff and cold. He realised that they would have to return, since no one knew where they were, and Elrond would surely be concerned. He sat up straight and the movement woke Legolas.
"We need to return, Legolas. Otherwise my father will send out search parties!"
Legolas nodded. "That is true." He stood up in one fluid movement and pulled Estel with him. Yet again Estel was surprised how much strength was hidden in Legolas' slender body. They stood facing each other for a moment, and then Estel leaned forward to kiss Legolas gently. The kiss lingered until Legolas broke away. "We will not return this night if we continue this, Estel. You know that. We have to go home."
When they arrived back at the palace, only few elves were still up. Legolas quickly led Estel up the stairs to his father's study. There was still light burning, so he knocked on the door.
"Enter."
"Legolas?"
"We just wanted to say that we have returned. We went to the pool above the forest path, you know where I mean."
Thranduil nodded. "Thank you for letting me know that you are back. I am sorry, Legolas, but I still have much work to do tonight."
With these words, the king returned to his paperwork.
Legolas and Estel quietly closed the door behind them. Estel sighed. "Your father still does not like me, does he?"
Legolas shook his head. "No, this is true. I do not know what it would take for him to accept you as my friend. He deeply dislikes and distrusts humans, and if he had not needed Elrond's help so badly, he would not have permitted you to come."
Estel yawned. It was very late, and time for bed. Legolas smiled, and pointed him in the direction of his room. "Bedtime! I see you tomorrow." One final, gentle kiss, and they went their separate ways.
-o-o-o-
The next day passed quickly. There were travel preparations to be made, routes to be checked, the latest information about orcs and other evil was collected. On the return journey, it was only Elrond and Estel, they would have to be careful. Even an experienced elf-lord such as Elrond would not be able to keep larger groups of evil creatures at bay.
Estel and Legolas tried both to let the day pass as uneventful as possible. They did not cling to each other, or indeed gave any indication that they would find parting difficult. Neither Elrond nor Thranduil paid much attention to their sons, there were too many other things to do.
It was only Elladan who noticed the turmoil in Estel's usually clear grey eyes. Even though he still did not understand what attracted Estel to Legolas, he had now little doubt that the affection between the two was genuine and went both ways.
Elladan had great reservations about Legolas, the older twin had met the young prince on several occasions; and Legolas had never made any attempt to befriend him or Elrohir. On the contrary, he had always appeared cold and aloof. And yet – Elladan had seen Legolas smile at Estel in a way that he had never thought possible in someone who appeared so distant.
After breakfast, Estel went to pack his belongings. Elladan followed him to his room, and entered. He found Estel laying on his bed, his former poise completely gone. He had curled up on his side, and was staring blankly into space. His eyes were red and he looked as if he had cried.
"Estel?" Elladan sat down on the bed next to his brother, and gently pushed strands of dark hair from the boy's face. "You like Legolas, don't you?"
Estel nodded but did not say anything. But the expression in his eyes changed from sadness to a hint of fear. "Oh Estel, do not fear, I will not tell father. I am surprised he has not seen it for himself. Elrohir had his eyes elsewhere, as usual, so I am not surprised he has not noticed. But father will have to see this for himself, or you need to tell him. You know that it is unlikely that you will see Legolas again?"
"Yes." Estel's voice was quiet and strained. "I know. Father has not been here in centuries, the chances of me returning here are slim."
"Estel," Elladan laid a comforting hand on his brother's waist, "if nothing else, in a few years you will reach your majority and after that you will have more independence. You may well be able to travel here by yourself once day. But think of this: Legolas is Thranduil's only son, he will not look kindly on Legolas having a relationship with a mortal, especially if this mortal is father's foster son. You will get hurt, unless you say a true good-bye to Legolas and let it go. You will have some pleasant memories to take home with you. Let it be finished there."
Estel sat up and shook his head. "I cannot do this. I care too much for Legolas already. I will have to find a way to return."
"Estel, you are only causing pain for yourself. In a few years' time, Legolas' father will find him a wife. He will have to marry, he is a prince. You are still very young, you can find other mates."
Estel looked at Elladan with such an expression of horror, that Elladan was taken aback.
"Estel! You are too young to commit yourself. So is Legolas – at least he is old enough to have a lover, but you really should not even think about it at your age! Which brings me to something else. Estel, I saw you yesterday with Legolas. You have grown close in the last two weeks, but how close? I hesitate to ask this but … have you been intimate with him?"
Estel blushed fiercely, and he stiffened with resentment. "I do not think this is any of your business, Elladan."
"Yes, it is. You are my foster brother and you are underage. It is my responsibility to protect you from harm. Legolas is an attractive elf, and probably has had many lovers before you. Is that really what you want?"
Estel's resentment flared. "Legolas has done me no harm! If anything, he held back – it was me who wanted to make love and he refused! And he told me that he has had no lovers before me." Realising what he had just said, Estel groaned and buried his face in his hands. He had just told Elladan just how close he and Legolas had become, and also something very private about Legolas.
He looked up. "Please, Elladan, we have done no harm but giving each other pleasure. Father does not need to know. I would not lie to him if he asked, but I know what he will say – what you said and more. I care for Legolas, and yes, I am attracted to him. Is that so wrong?" Resentment had turned into defiance, and Estel's grey eyes now met Elladan's gaze.
Elladan sighed. This was turning out about as difficult as he had anticipated it was going to be.
"If this was with almost anyone else, Estel, you are quite right, there would be little harm in it, after all you cannot get each other with child. But this is Prince Legolas, Thranduil's son, who already holds grudges against father. And you are a mortal. Have you thought about what would happen if he found out how close you and Legolas are?"
It was Estel's turn to sigh. He was young, but he was not ignorant or completely naïve.
"It would cause more upset. I know – we know."
"Estel, let this go before you get hurt more." With these words, Elladan run his hand through Estel's tousled hair with an affectionate gesture, and got up to leave. "I will let father find out for himself."
-o-o-o-
Later in the day when all preparations were made, Estel found Legolas in his study, catching up on some of his neglected work. "Legolas, I am as finished as I can be. Can you free yourself for a few hours?"
Legolas turned away from the papers he was working on. "Estel, today I would drop more important things than this. These are your last few hours here. The Valar only know when we will meet again." Sadness laced the elf's voices. "Let us go for a final walk in the forest."
And that is what they did. They did not speak much as there was little to be said about their upcoming departure. They agreed that they would write once a month, more would certainly be considered frivolous use of messenger birds. Otherwise, they walked with their arms interlinked, simply enjoying each other's company and finding comfort in these last few hours of togetherness. Dusk arrived, and they needed to return to the palace, for a final festive meal.
During the meal, both Estel and Legolas tried not to look at each other too often. Neither was hungry. Thranduil did not pay much attention to Legolas' meal; he was busy talking with a number of other people. Elrond did notice that Estel ate little, but thought it was the result of anxiety or nervousness about the upcoming journey.
After the meal, when the guests dispersed and stood talking in groups, and in one corner music started playing, Legolas quietly took Estel's hand and pulled him towards the trees. They climbed a tall tree not far away, and sat on one of its strong branches. Legolas had his arms around Estel's waist and held him close. They sat there for a long while.
They did not make promises to each other, nor did they pledge each other undying love. But Legolas whispered very quietly into Estel's ear: "We will see each other again, Estel." Estel nodded. And they both knew that this was all the promise they needed.
-o-o-o-
The morning of departure arrived all to quickly. Breakfast was eaten early, and without much conversation. The bags were packed, the horses were ready. Thranduil thanked Elrond again for his assistance and wished them a safe journey. Elrond hugged his sons, and told them to keep out of trouble. Both Elrohir and Elladan hugged Estel, it would be a long time before they saw each other again. "Be good, little brother", was Elrohir's comment. Elladan just embraced his human brother and squeezed him hard.
Legolas and Estel stood facing each other. "Legolas, thank you for all the time you have spent with me. I have enjoyed the time with you."
"It has been my pleasure, Estel Elrondion."
Both bowed slightly, and then Estel formally thanked the king for his hospitality. No one but Elladan noticed the sadness in Estel's grey eyes, and a similar expression in Legolas deep blue ones.
Finally all farewells were said, and as the horses were turning, Estel laid his hand on Legolas' shoulder in a fleeting gesture of affection. Both remembered that last touch for a long time to come.
Elrond and Estel began the long journey home.
-o-o-o-
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