Chapter 20

Legolas' face had lit up in a huge smile, and Estel was laughing while at the same time tears ran down his cheeks.

"It has been so long, Legolas. I did not know if you would still like me …"

Legolas hands were gentle in Estel's hair. He pulled the young man towards himself and whispered: "I do not go back on my word, Estel." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I have missed holding you so much." They held each other for a long while, and then Estel started to kiss Legolas softely, gentle caresses full of affection but devoid of passion.

Then Legolas shifted, just slightly, but the move made both of them aware that he wore only a thin robe. And suddenly all the pent-up desire of the last year was there between them. Their kisses and caresses became urgent, demanding. Estel opened the belt of Legolas' robe and let his hands explore. Legolas did not object, and leaned into the touch, his own hands pulling at Estel's clothing. Estel gently pushed Legolas back against the bed, so that the elf fell backwards when the back of his legs made contact with the bed frame. His robe opened, and fell away.

Estel stopped for a moment. Suddenly the rush of passion had gone, all certainty left the young man. "Legolas … you are so beautiful … how can you let me touch you?" His grey eyes had become huge. Legolas noticed the change, and sat up. He pulled the robe around himself, and pulled the young man next to him. He took Estel's hands and held them in his own.

"Estel, you have grown in the last year. You are more attractive to me than ever before. And also … I am really not that remarkable." Suddenly turning serious, he looked at the young man. "Estel, do you really like my body?

Estel looked at the elf in surprise. "Legolas, why do you have to ask? Can you not tell how much I am attracted to you? Your body is perfect, everything about you is perfect – what made you ask that?" Estel sounded genuinely puzzled.

"Something someone said a while ago. But I am glad you still like me." Legolas turned sideways and gently kissed Estel again.

At that moment, there was a brief knock and the door opened. Elrond entered and frowned. "I thought I might find you here, Estel. Legolas, what is the meaning of this? Why are you not dressed?"

"I was on my way to the bath when Estel came to greet me." Legolas dark eyes met Elrond's stern gaze without flinching.

"Father, this is true. I have only just arrived. We have done nothing wrong."

"It depends what you mean by 'wrong'. Let me be quite clear: I do not approve of an intimate relationship between the two of you, and I have an obligation to your father, Legolas, to ensure that you return unharmed. I am sure that he would not consider a relationship with a mortal as 'unharmed.' I must ask both of you to promise me that you will not spend time by yourselves as long as Legolas is here."

Estel looked crushed, and for a moment, both Legolas and Elrond thought the boy would begin to cry. Instinctively, Legolas laid his arm around Estel's shoulder, but then saw the deepening frown on Elrond's face and quickly withdrew his arm.

Estel pulled himself together, and when he looked up, his face was set and determined. "I cannot promise you that, father. I have waited for almost a year to see Legolas again. I have missed him greatly, and I want to have some time with him."

"Legolas?" Elrond turned to the prince.

"Lord Elrond, I am your guest and I would not be so ungrateful as to abuse your hospitality. I … I promise not to spend time by myself with Estel." But even Legolas' iron self-control could not prevent a deep note of sadness and desperation creeping into his voice.

"The word of a prince is good enough for me. Estel, please leave so that Legolas can ready himself."

Elrond waited until Estel had left and then turned to Legolas. "I rely on your word, young prince, as I do not seem to be able to rely on my own son's word."

o-o-o-

The next days were very difficult for Estel. To be so near to Legolas, and yet to be unable to spend any time alone with him, was increasingly frustrating. And gradually that frustration turned into anger and resentment towards his foster family. Estel could not follow Elrond's reasoning either rationally or emotionally, and finally he decided deliberately to disobey Elrond's wishes.

For the young man, this meant a lot of soul-searching. He loved and respected his foster father, and had never before deliberately gone against his wishes. And yet he decided that he could not and would not let this opportunity pass to spend some time with Legolas.

Elrond made sure that Estel was kept busy with studying, assisting in the Houses of Healing and with other chores and errands. But he did see Legolas at meal times, and these were agony. To see Legolas several times a day, his face, his eyes, the way he moved, without being able to touch him, was painful. Estel saw in Legolas' dark eyes the same sadness and frustration that he felt, but he also knew that unless pushed, the young prince would never break his word.

Estel intended to make sure that Legolas had no choice, and would be able to point all blame to him, should they be discovered.

The most obvious way for Estel to find Legolas alone would have been to climb out of his window, scale up the large tree in front of Legolas' room and climb over the balcony. But Estel was sure that one or both of his brothers were expecting him to do just that, and would be waiting for him somewhere outside. There had to be another, less obvious way. But how? Every moment of his waking hours appeared to be watched, and he was sure that unobtrusively, his room was observed at night as well.

Estel spent hours pondering how he could possibly find a way to have some time with Legolas. But the days passed and no opportunity presented itself.

o-o-o-

In the end, it was Lindwen who rescued them. The elf-maid realised early what was happening, and on the second day she asked Legolas in a quiet moment why he did not seem to see much of Estel. Legolas explained the situation to her, and also honestly told his friend how sad and frustrated he felt. The girl gave him a brief embrace, and told him that she would do what she could to help them.

Lindwen later talked to Calanthir. The young couple were so happy together that both of them wished to be able to extend that happiness to others as well. Calanthir had known Estel all his life, and although he did not know the young man well, he, like Lindwen, felt that Elrond's strong objections to Estel's relationship with Legolas were somewhat unfounded. Neither felt that they could openly contravene the Lord of Imladris' wishes, and yet they wished to help Legolas and Estel, if they could. Finally they decided that an honest approach would be best.

One morning, Lindwen approached Elrond after breakfast. She asked him for permission to go on a short trip with Legolas and Estel to revisit her favourite places in Rivendell. Lindwen explained that she and Calanthir were well aware of the situation, but that they would keep an eye on things and anyway, there would be four of them all the time. She added that she and Legolas had become close friends in Lasgalen, and that she had seen little of him since their arrival in Rivendell.

o-o-o-

Elrond visibly hesitated with an answer. His instinctive first reaction was to say 'no'. The second reaction was to send the twins along on that trip, but then he remembered that they were due to meet a group of rangers in the next couple of days.

"Lindwen, there are many things that you do not know, especially about Estel. I cannot let Estel continue with this infatuation. Letting him spend time with Legolas would only deepen his affection, and potentially create many more problems for both of them."

Elrond paused and looked at the girl. Lindwen had always been mature for her age; she should understand at least some of the issues that this relationship presented.

"Lord Elrond, I may not know much about Estel, but I can say that I know Prince Legolas well. I know he is committed to Estel, and would never do anything willingly to harm him, or your family. He knows how much Estel loves you and his brothers."

"He is King Thranduil's son, and Thranduil deeply mistrusts us, and mortals even more. And as this was not enough, Legolas can hardly be considered old enough for any kind of a serious relationship; he is not even two decades into his majority. For Estel, this is even more true, he has only seen sixteen summers!"

Lindwen looked down for a moment, but then lifted her eyes. "Lord Elrond, I see that I cannot convince you to allow Estel and Legolas to come with you. I know you do not trust Legolas; the situation between Lasgalen and Rivendell has been tense many more years than I have lived. But please, give Legolas the credit of the doubt, and just look at him when he looks at Estel. I think you will see what I mean. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me."

As the elf-maid left, Elrond's gaze followed her thoughtfully. He was saddened by the fact that Estel had almost completely withdrawn from any family involvement, and had become taciturn and resentful. He carried out all tasks given to him meticulously, but went no step further than he had been asked to go. A few weeks ago, he would have used his own initiative and knowledge to point out missing herbs or incomplete lists, and would have gone to fill any gaps amongst the medicinal herbs himself. He also used to spend his evenings with his family and friends, whereas now he seemed to be by himself most of the time.

So, when lunchtime came, Elrond watched even more closely the interaction between Legolas and Estel. Seated several places apart, they did not touch, or indeed directly speak to each other. Legolas was already seated when Estel joined the table.

But when the young elf saw Estel arrive, he looked up and for a brief moment their eyes locked. Elrond saw how the young prince's dark eyes lit up and his face softened into a discrete, tender half-smile that came and went in a flash. But there was no doubt that Estel saw it, his own face lighting up for an instant before settling back into the sullen expression that he now seemed to wear most of the time.

And suddenly Elrond knew that he was running the risk of losing his foster son. Lindwen had been right, as little as he liked the association between his mortal foster son and the Prince of Lasgalen, this was not only a passing youthful fancy. Elrond had no doubt that physical attraction played a big role, after all both Legolas and Estel were just at the right age for that. But they had waited for each other for a year, and, as reluctant as Elrond was to admit it, the affection on both sides appeared to be genuine. Elrond did not want to find out what would happen if Estel felt that he had to choose between his family and Legolas.

o-o-o-

After lunch, Elrond asked Estel to join him in his study. The boy obeyed, but stood before him with downcast eyes and dropping shoulders. Where had the carefree child of a few months ago disappeared to?

"Estel, Lindwen has asked me whether you and Legolas could accompany her and Calanthir for a few days to her most favourite places in this realm. Initially I told her that I would not permit this, as I do not wish for you and Legolas to become more closely involved than you already are. But I can also see that you are hurting, and you are my son."

Elrond paused and Estel looked up. There was hope in the boy's eyes.

"I will let you and Legolas go with them…" Elrond never got around to finishing his sentence. Suddenly he held a sobbing sixteen-year old in his arms.

"I … I really thought Legolas would leave before I have seen anything of him … Thank you, father, oh thank you …" Elrond gently patted Estel's back.

Elrond's misgivings had not entirely disappeared, but he now felt somewhat guilty of having made his son this unhappy.

He lifted Estel's chin. "On one condition, Estel. I do not know how far your relationship with Legolas has already gone, and in a way, I do not wish to know. But please make sure that neither of you gets hurt, physically or otherwise. Legolas has reached his majority but he is still very young. His father would hold me responsible, should he come to harm. You are still under age; please consider that there are some things that should not be rushed. I will say no more on this. "

The elf-lord sighed. "I admit that the idea of this trip makes me deeply uneasy, I would have never allowed you to go in Lasgalen, had I known what the outcome would be. But you are my son, and I trust you to be sensible."

Estel moved out of his father's embrace. "I promise you, we will not rush things or do anything stupid. I am so grateful, father."

"Go now, find Legolas and tell him."

o-o-o-

After breakfast Legolas had gone to the stables to check up on his horse. He had greeted and groomed the animal, and had talked to the elves looking after the horses. He had just decided to go for a ride since nothing else was scheduled for the morning, when he felt someone approaching from behind. He turned, and looked straight into Estel's happy face.

"Legolas! Father has permitted us to go an a trip with Lindwen and Calanthir!" The joy in Estel's face and voice was contagious. Legolas did not even notice that his own face lit up in an enormous smile. Spontaneously he stepped forward and hugged Estel. They stood in a tight embrace for a few moments until Legolas disentangled himself.

"Let us not push our luck. The more discrete we are, the less likely we are to cause offence or concern."

Estel nodded, Legolas was right. Together they went and searched for Lindwen and Calanthir, whom they found in the small house that Calanthir lived in by himself. His parents had left to Valinor some time ago, but he had remained in Imladris. For the duration of Lindwen's visit, Elrond had taken Calanthir off his patrol duties, so that he could have some time with her.

On hearing the news, Lindwen looked stunned. "I never thought Lord Elrond would listen to me …"

Estel grinned. "Maybe he did not … perhaps he just reconsidered. But we are very grateful to you anyway, Lindwen."

They decided that since the weather was fine and warm, they would leave the next day.

o-o-o-

That evening, Estel and Legolas spent with Lindwen and Calanthir in the small, secluded area behind Calanthir's home. It was a small, grassy area entirely surrounded by trees and shrubs. Many of these were overgrown by a creeper with large, pink flowers with an intense scent. This area was not truly a garden, as it was evidently not tended much, but yet it had a serene natural beauty.

The four young people sat on the grass, a bottle of wine between them, and began to plan the trip, and also to try to get to know each other a bit better. Neither Legolas nor Estel knew Calanthir very well, and Lindwen had not seen much of Estel. So, between deciding where to go and what to take, they also talked about themselves.

Lindwen sat leaning against Calanthir. She looked happy and relaxed, much more so than Legolas had ever seen her. Calanthir, too, looked supremely contented. His arms encircled the girl and they both looked very comfortable.

Legolas and Estel were sitting a few spaces apart, trying not to touch each other. Unsure how others would react to their relationship, they had every intention of being as inconspicuous as possible.

The foursome discussed at length where they would travel to in the next few days, and which provisions they would take. They decided on a circular route that would include some of the waterfalls and higher areas of Rivendell, and which would take them about a week to complete. After a while, there was a pause in the conversation.

Suddenly Calanthir said with a warm smile: "Estel, I can see that you want to hold Legolas. You do not have to fear us; you can be yourselves with us. No one except for us will know. And should someone ask, we are spending our time together as friends." Lindwen, also, smiled at these words.

Shyly Estel moved up to Legolas. But when he felt the young prince lean against him, all awkwardness fell away. They were together, with friends, nothing could take away this moment. And they would have a week together.

The four sat together, sometimes talking but much of the time in companionable silence. As the moon rose, Legolas got up. "We must return, otherwise we will be missed. We will see you tomorrow morning." He pulled Estel up, and then turned again. "Lindwen, Calanthir, I do not know how to thank you."

Estel added his own thanks, and slowly they made their way back to the main house.

o-o-o-

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