Oh, you must all hate me! This has been forever and ever and ever. I am sooo sorry and hopefully you can all find it in your hearts to forgive poor little me who has been a naughty girl and taken far too long. Well, Thanks SO much to those who reviewed, I appreciate it so much. Love you all J . Find it in your hearts to do it again? Please J . I love reviews so much, I live off them. Well, enjoy, hopefully it's ok after the wait.

Dear Pablo

We are pleased to announce that we have officially obtained the most detentions via only one act in Hogwarts history.

Of course, this is to be expected as we already owned said record and were just looking for an excuse to break it (again).

The upside of this is we have made history. People will forever be trying to beat the famous "100 detentions for Padfoot and Prongs".

The downside, naturally, being that we have to do 100 detentions.

So far, we've done 10. Each.

All in one go. With Nott as well for 5 of them. Do you pity us?

You should. We had to clean the Giant Squid.

Yes, a task so disgusting it earned us the 10 detentions in one shot.

The squid is slimy.

And big.

Giant.

A Giant Squid.

And he has crevices.

That are hard to reach.

And in all sorts of odd places.

I shudder to remember the deed.

And to top it all off, Nott was there. But we already mentioned that. And the Slytherin in him made him wander off half way through.

And the Squid didn't look any cleaner.

Or say thank you.

Because we expected a Giant Squid that can't talk to say thank you, didn't we?

He can wave. I've seen him do it. He could have at least appreciated that we slaved away on him for an entire weekend.

Come to think of it, after that, I'm not so sure he's a he.

Ewww, Padfoot. I don't want to think about it.

You didn't have to clean the bottom!

Oh god, I'm going to faint with shock at the horridness of what you're implying.

Believe me, been there, done that. I told you mine was harder.

And now, I agree. Hey, I was wondering why you kept groaning in disgust.

Well, now you know. Poor you.

I'm not going to think about it from now on.

I second that. Motion passed.

Yes, well, after we've now all been appalled we can move on to nicer, safer topics.

Like Snape.

I dunno, he's pretty close to your squid incident.

He also makes me shudder. Though not with fear, I assure you.

Padfoot, it could be said you were trying to lead this conversation into a raunchy position.

Prongs, it could also be said you have a dirty mind. And when connected to Snape, that's a very wrong thing indeed.

But surely the one who brings up the topic of Snape and shuddering first would be considered to be the one whose mind is in the wrong.

Unless the one doing the bringing up was not referring to any kind of dirty-minded attribute when bringing up the topic.

Now you're just confusing me.

Ah, see, dear Prongs, this is where I shout and scream: I WIN!

And this is where I walk away until you forget about it. This way, I avoid boasting and get to watch you suffer as you miss me.

You know I'll just chase you down.

That I do. But it's still fun.

Some people would call it abandonment.

Like whom?

Me?

You know you enjoy it. Puppies love to chase.

Manly dogs are above it, though.

So you'll have no problem.

Alas, you have already not left, thus making me the official winner.

I see no officials to confirm this.

You can see me.

And…?

If I need to explain my own officiality it is a very sad day indeed.

Oh, Padfoot, if only you could see it from my perspective.

I think I'd rather avoid that.

You don't know what you're missing out on, darling. Being me is amazing.

Not as amazing as being me.

That is doubtful.

Only if you're you.

Well, if you are I what are you meant to do? Sit back and take the insults?

No, I'd dance around like a crazy teapot.

Ha ha, Padfoot. Ha ha.

Oh, I just win SO MUCH, Prongs, my lad.

Hey, I can take losing.

Lily can't hear you, mate.

You think? Maybe she can hear my thoughts?

You're NOT serious.

Ummm… I'm lost.

You don't genuinely think Lily can hear your thoughts?

Of course not…

Well, that's what it sounded like.

Oh, don't be silly, Padfoot! I'm not that nutty!

Ah, but sometimes I wonder.

Hi Moony.

Moony?

Right behind you.

Oh, hi Moony.

Where's the tail of Worm?

He says Wormtail is in the dorm.

By himself? Or with a lady?

He says he's not sure. He didn't want to go in and check.

I understand. Walking in on Wormtail might be… weird. More weird than with others.

He says why can't you just talk to him?

Because Pablo can't hear and it would be rude.

He says why am I repeating everything he says. I say because of Pablo.

He says we're mad.

I say that he should know that. Living with us for six years and all.

He says that we're being anti-social.

I say we're talking to each other.

He says that this is stupid and we can't write fast enough to make this a worthwhile conversation. I say slow down, Moony.

I say goodbye Moony, stop interrupting us.

He says that he is very offended and is trying to talk fast so I can't keep up.

I say that's very mean of you Moony, bugger off.

Moony says he refuses to take the advice of rude little buggers like us.

Moony just got hit with a curse. Who did that, I wonder?

We swear, we're innocent.

Moony is coming over to us.

Do you think that's what an angry rhino would look like?

I think Moony is much scarier.

And to think, Moony is meant to be the quiet one.

You can never tell with those quiet types.

Change their minds in a second.

But… Moony is meant to be the rational one.

Moony is obviously under the influence of something.

Moony is going to hurt us.

Moony is going to tickle us.

Oh god, that's worse.

Why did you tell him we were ticklish?

I didn't, you did.

He's taking his time.

Umm… Where's he gone?

We just got attacked.

By an angry werewolf.

My sides hurt from the laughter.

My entire body aches.

Remind me never to annoy Moony again. He is too damn smart.

Scrap that. Remind me never to go near Moony again.

So, let's kick him out. Me, you and Wormtail from now on.

Sounds good.

No more bloody prefects annoying us.

And we'll be able to go on three person rides at carnivals without leaving someone out.

Where do you come up with these?

I dunno.

Wait a sec, it's full moon next week.

Oh. Poor Moony.

Let's not reject him.

Yes, let's give him some chocolate.

Ok.

Bye bye, Pablo.

Have a nice diary time of it.

Terribly amazing,

Padfoot and Prongs.