Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry...Ahhhh...did I mention I'm sorry? Cause I am. SORRY! It's very hard to update, I mean, school and the swim team and well um...IT'S JUST REALLY HARD OKAY?! So...are people getting Tenshik yet? I mean, she's perfect and you just want to smash her head in but...She's not that bad, is she? Oh what am I saying...Of course she's awful. I want to murder her as much as the rest of you, but she's a main character and she's also ALREADY dead. I guess we're all screwed. Deal with it. And I started two other stories so that's slowing stuff down so...yeah...sorry. But I'm really proud of one of those stories! So let me enjoy my happiness...dammit.
Disclaimer: Not in a good mood. Don't bother me, look at some chapter at the beginning.
***
Reflection
Chapter 14-Don't Dare
***
Everything was spinning wildly, the next moments were scattering and insane; incoherent. Kagome was struggling just to breath while her body was twisted and abused with different feelings. She had never imagined grief could hurt like this. "Sesshomaru! No! Don't leave!" She felt as if she was being consumed from the inside out, like she was drowning in something she couldn't touch or taste, but she could feel. It started in her heart, and swept through her limbs like a storm.
The part of her mind that was still with itself, that could still make decent sense of things, immediately questioned the situation. She wasn't in any real place, what she had just seen couldn't be real. And at this particular moment, there was only darkness. Darkness all around. Infinite black, and there was nothing to hold on to. She would compare it to being suspended in mid air, or floating in space between the stars. Except there were no stars, or planets, or anything. Just black
Worse, she was feeling this pain after seeing things...Things...what had she seen? She had seen Tenshik, no, she had been Tenshik, she was Tenshik. She had remembered the day that she had first been given a body of her own from the gods, and...the day that Sesshomaru had found her...and she remembered the confrontation with Sesshomaru's father...and...and then...the temple... More pain whipped her when she remembered the night she had found Inutaisho, broken and bloody on the ground, but that was nothing compared to the way Sesshomaru had so blatantly refused her and left her there, for all he cared, to die.
If she could have, she would have cried. But she didn't know how when she was drifting in this dark void. Instead, she could only wrap herself in grief.
Kagome realized then that what Tenshik had said was true. This was the only reality she had at the moment, and it was as good as any. Those pictures and scenes were her memories, those places and people and faces were all part of her own life. And these feelings were hers, nothing could change her mind of that. Tenshik was not lying. They were the same.
And that meant that Sesshomaru really had left her there like that. But...no, no! She remembered now! It hadn't ended that way! He had returned to her!
A strong fire was building in Kagome as she struggled to remember what had happened after that dark day, for Sesshomaru did come back! It was in her dream so long ago, she had seen it happen, he would return and hold her again in love!
White replaced all the black in the void, and it was so powerful that it blinded her. When her vision was restored, she was looking upon another memory. Sesshomaru would come back in love, but it would be the last time she would see him again as living, breathing, Tenshik.
***
Demons, I see them everywhere. But never like this. They are black, twisted shapes of darkness. Each is walking death, I have never seen anything like this before, and it terrifies me. They have come.
For days, I have been wandering through the forest, my heart is gone, and I feel that I cannot live much longer. I do not know what to do without Sesshomaru. He was my soul, and now that he has left me, I am fading away. He didn't trust me, I could see it in his eyes; he didn't trust me, the one who loves him more than any other on this earth. And now time is running out.
It was all a lie. The body he buried wasn't his father's, it was never alive to begin with. I had a vision two nights after I found him lying on the bloodstained battlefield. I saw in my mind pictures of what was really before our eyes. Nothing. It was all an illusion. They had manipulated our senses and our feelings because it was an easy task while we were blinded by our love. We were so connected to each other it made us unknowing to everything else, so that the darkness could maneuver in the shadows and trick us into seeing something that wasn't even there.
The Darkness...yes, my enemy. He is almost upon me now; I can feel the waves of his evil coming to sweep me away. He saw everything, he knew everything! From the very beginning! He had known that the gods would send me, and he had known that they were speaking to me with the temple, and he had known, most terrible of all, that I was in love with Sesshomaru. It was my weakness while it was my strength. I had always been dependent on Sesshomaru to help me and to always be with me. He was my pillar of support. I had gambled with that, I think I had known what I was doing when I fell in love with him. For when I fell in love, the emotion was stronger and far more powerful because of the power that was residing inside of me. Our love replaced that power, and so the darkness saw immediately that were he to remain, he would have to eliminate it.
And he did. He fooled us... He fooled me into seeing something that wasn't there, he fooled Sesshomaru into betraying me.
Now that my power is fading, he will erase me from this earth. I have failed, but I can at least fight once more in the end in return for what the Gods have given me, all the precious experiences that I've had while walking in a human form.
I am waiting for him now, walking through the forest where I was born and waiting for him to come down upon me and end it. I know that he is just biding his time and teasing me and trying to bully me into fear with his demons that loom always, just outside of my vision.
The God of Darkness will come and destroy me, Tenshik, and I will never know anything again.
***
Tenshik walked slowly. Each step was silent. Her hair was swaying unnaturally in the wind, while her clothes billowed out about her. Despair hung all about her, she was the picture of a defeated woman, yet when looking into her lifeless eyes there could still be seen a light not yet extinguished. She would use that light to do all that she could before she was inevitably destroyed.
This was the final battle, and she knew it. She had been lost in her forest for days, having no direction or aim, but just waiting for the Darkness to come and smash what little life she had left. Sesshomaru had left her and abandoned their love. There was nothing for her to hold onto, and her power was nearly gone. The fight would be swift and shameful, but it had to be fought, for the honor of the Gods.
She stopped still suddenly. It was night. No creature stirred, there was an evil in the air. The moon above was suddenly shrouded by dark clouds, sealing off what little light had been left to pierce through the dense leaves of the trees. Tenshik looked up at the sky and watched the stars wink out one by one. There was a black wave spreading through, coming silently and slowly to her.
She whispered something low and quiet, and dropped down to sit elegantly upon her legs. The God of Darkness was coming as a visible enemy. Visible at least, to her. No one else would have been able to see what was coming. To all the mortals and demons, the stars and moon were still burning brightly, but every one of them that was near enough could sense the evil energy.
Tenshik wondered for a moment where Sesshomaru might be then. Her lost love...Was he still grieving for his father who had not died? Of course he wouldn't know that he was still alive, not until it was too late. Or he might never discover that. For when the darkness came and took care of her, it would be free to rip the world apart as it had planned for so long.
The earth shook beneath her suddenly and she took a deep, calming breath, and began to search inside of her for what remained of the power the Gods had blessed her with. She closed her eyes and slipped into deep meditation, searching, feeling for that strength. She found it, weak and small as it was, and held it inside of her. Her physical body would serve as a shield to protect it until the moment when she had to use it as a last resort. Until then, it was like a tiny, precious flame that she was trying desperately to keep from blowing out.
There was a sound like metal groaning, but she dared not open her eyes and face the scene before her. If she did, she would abandon her little strength for fear, and then she would be easy prey. While she kept her defenses strong, her little light grew as a reaction to the desperation she was feeling. It was also preparing her for when she did open her eyes and look upon the God of Darkness in the phantom form he had used to come at her. Of course it would not compare to his true form, whatever that was; this was merely a shadow-tool to rid himself of what was pathetically, his strongest enemy.
Her fists clenched and unclenched, she took hurried panting breathes. Her soul and small power was telling her that now was the time, she had to open her eyes and fight. She had found her light, so that she could protect it, now she had to do what she had to do.
Her eyes opened and she narrowed them dangerously and got to her feet. She was doing her best to keep her fear low.
There was a great shadow all around her. The forms of the trees were just distinguishable in the black mass. There were flickers of black lightening spreading like a pulse all throughout it. Its surface looked and moved like water, and it made horrible groaning noises that echoed strangely. This black light-energy was everywhere, forming a type of column that surrounded her and stretched up to the heavens where it closed in and sealed her totally. She was left in a tiny island, a space of still untouched land where she could draw herself up and make herself ready for the fight.
Her heart raced. "Fight me now!" She called. "Fight me now and be done with it!"
The only answer she received was the ever-present hiss of the evil force around her. So she stared, growing more afraid by the second, and knowing that it could sense her fear. But then her memories of Sesshomaru and the things that had been done to them and her anger surfaced. She would give this darkness no satisfaction by showing her fear. Tenshik growled and stamped her foot; a light pounded forth where it had struck the ground and the earth shook. A crevice ripped from the spot where the light had beamed and rushed out into the inky blackness, burning it away as it went. But it simply stitched itself back together, and as her eyes followed the white crevice as it grew, she saw it suddenly snuffed out like a candle.
She closed her eyes in dismay only for an instant when she heard everything stop. Tenshik gasped and looked again. Why was it suddenly so silent? The moaning cries had ceased, and as she saw that the black lights had disappeared. Then she realized it; it was going to strike.
She had a second to decide what to do before the ceiling of the force field around her came crashing down towards her body, and she quickly crashed to her knees and muttered an incantation that would hopefully serve to protect her. Tenshik heard it rumbling to her from above, and then as it hit her spell, there was a scream, or so she imagined it to be, followed by a sound like rushing water moving away from her.
All around her the darkness seemed to be fighting itself desperately to get away from her where she stood in the forest, sparks were chasing it at its edges. As it withdrew, the forms of the trees seemed to shrivel and decay until they were charred black. She winced as when she saw them, not the beautiful trees she had known at her birth, they were sickly and dying.
Abruptly, the blackness stopped roughly fifty yards from her, forming a great circle. Yet somehow, it seemed even more opposing to her at a distance than it did when it was just inches from her face.
"Finish me," she growled.
There was a rumble like an earthquake and Tenshik shut her eyes again. Still kneeling on the ground, she began speaking in a strange tongue, summoning the words that would unlock her power.
She heard it coming, it was racing toward her, coming too fast...she wouldn't be able to finish... She would have to sacrifice some of her strength to keep it away for enough time, or else it would destroy her before she had a chance to do anything. Her fist hit the ground, sending another crevice of light rocketing towards her enemy, she heard it shriek in pain and anger, burn away, then begin it's charge again. She went back to the spell.
This time she had nothing left, she had to finish her chant, if she gave anything more she wouldn't be able to summon her full strength. It was coming...coming...coming...
The sound of it grew closer. She spoke faster. Closer. Her concentration reached its peak. Closer, it was feet away.
No time.
It hit Tenshik and the barrier of protection she had created lasted seconds before it succumbed and broke away, then she was left out in the open and it poured onto her form. Her body went straight and rigid and her head snapped back. She screamed while it bore down upon her, it was as if she were being crushed by hundreds of pounds of water at one time. But after it had enveloped her, she knew pain far worse than being crushed, as it began gnawing at her flesh, seeping into her blood, filling her with the darkness... Tears ran down her cheeks as she gasped out of pain and for air that had long since been swallowed by the blackness. As she felt herself slipping away, she managed to cry out, "Sesshomaru!"
Then the darkness continued to eat away at her soul, and then it crept across her vision.
***
She could hear her heart pounding, her human heart. It felt like she was drifting away, and then it was gone. She had a haunting feeling that something wasn't done yet. What was that? What had she forgotten?
She wanted so badly to sleep, or to rest, but a thought continued to nag at her that there was still something left unfinished...something that was calling to her. Then it appeared, a light, or as it grew closer to her, a flame. It was dancing just before her eyes, and she watched it burn, small, but bright. It could be brighter, she thought. Though she knew it would burn, she reached out to it, and touched it, bathed her fingers in it, and she found that it wasn't painful, it was cool and soothing. She put her whole hand in, and then the other as well and let it caress her skin. The coolness seemed to spread through her, and she smiled. Suddenly she didn't want to sleep or rest.
And then she heard something, far off, distant. A thumping, beating noise. It grew louder. It was like the pounding of a drum. Again, and again. It kept a steady pace. To her, it sounded familiar, and she tried to place it.
Then a word came to mind, and she gasped. "Heart!" She cried, "It's my heart!"
It all came back to her, the fight, the darkness, the pain.
"Sesshomaru!" Tenshik grew frantic. "Sesshomaru!"
The light that she was still immersing her hands in shined brightly, all different colors. Hues of purple, silver, green, yellow, white, and black. Her eyes focused on it. A voice whispered from it; it sounded like she was hearing it through a wall. Meanwhile, her heart beat grew rapid and fierce.
The voice too, grew. "Tenshik!"
She smiled ecstatically, "Sesshomaru!"
The light at her hands exploded radiantly and swamped all of her surroundings, she felt air in her lungs again, and her vision was restored. Tenshik was still suspended in the darkness, but she could see that it was more transparent now, and standing just beyond it, more beautiful than the stars, sword in hand, was Sesshomaru.
She stared at him, wordless with awe, but at the same time, she had known somehow that he would come. Sesshomaru always rescued her. But as quickly as her joy came, it was replaced by fear and panic. He would be killed! There was no way he could face the evil she was battling! It was stronger than the both of them!
All around Tenshik she could see that the shadows were recoiling from whatever attack Sesshomaru had made to free her of her temporary bonds. It was moving slowly as it seemed to study him and his strength. Already she could feel that it knew Sesshomaru wouldn't be any more of an opponent than she would be.
"Sesshomaru!" Tenshik cried in a hoarse voice, aching with pain. "Go, quickly...you will die!"
He turned to her slowly where she stood. It was obvious that he was hurting. Somehow he must have found out that his father remained in the living world. But that could not be bothered with, there was no time.
"Sesshomaru! Leave!"
He strode to her and knelt by her side, lifting her into his arms and holding her against him. "I'm not leaving you now."
Her tears were flowing again. "Please..."
But she could say no more, her enemy was preparing to attack again, and already the sound of it rumbling towards them where they stood on the ground was growing wild in their ears. Tenshik gasped and limply clutched Sesshomaru's shirt in her fist with a wince of pain. She opened her mouth to warn him for the last time to go and let her fight her inescapable battle, but he interrupted her first.
"This is the enemy that you were put on this earth to fight. But you will not fight it alone." His stare moved to her eyes, and she swallowed under his gaze. "What must I do?"
"You can't-"
"Tenshik," He leaned closer, "What must I do?"
Swallowing again, she bowed her head, and thought deeply. Even if she had wanted him with her, in danger, on the battlefield, there was little that he could accomplish. They had been trained to destroy different forces. This was nothing he was familiar with. But... "There is..."
"Yes?"
"I need time to finish my spell." Sesshomaru didn't ask what her spell was, simply waited for her to continue. She went on warily while the noise like rushing waters steadily became deafening. It was hard to overcome it with her meek voice. "You have to fight for me, I will give you all the strength that I can spare, but what I give you will make me weak, I will not be able to protect myself, you have to keep it away long enough for me to finish."
He nodded. "I understand."
Smiling at him, she bowed her head into his chest and whispered an apology that was too soft for him to hear. But she meant it all the same. Poor Sesshomaru...here he had been dragged into this.
"Tenshik," his voice woke her from her from her tangled thoughts. "We don't have...time."
He was right, she lifted herself and looked into his eyes. Understanding the need to be still, he went rigid while they both fell into a sitting position. "Close your eyes." He obeyed silently. Her fingers touched his forehead, his left shoulder, his right, and hovered above his heart before she hesitantly touched it too. As soon as she had made contact with his chest Tenshik felt a great weight fall down onto her shoulders, and she sagged forward a bit. Her breathing was rough and labored. Sesshomaru's eyes opened and he held her upper arm in a grip firmer than usual. "Go, do your task." She whispered.
Reluctantly he released her and rose gracefully to his feet.
"Quickly now, it's coming." Sure enough, it was brimming over the trees, sweeping past the black forest. He turned and left at her command, and she watched him go and then carefully eased into her previous kneeling position. Before she slipped into the deepest trance she had ever accomplished, she dimly heard him transform into his true form.
***
Her hands burned. Everything burned. It hurt, but at the same time it was very soothing... Months and months had been spent preparing for this moment, to finally succeed...it was something of a comfort. She kept Sesshomaru in her mind through the whole experience, after all, she had admitted it, he was her pillar of strength. Why not exploit his presence while he was with her again? Tenshik reconsidered it for a moment, and decided that she should be glad at least, that she would never have to worry about being parted from him ever again. In mere moments, their spirits would travel together to the afterlife, whatever was waiting for them after everything they knew now was destroyed, they would experience it together. The small, melancholy hope that this was true lifted her spirits slightly, and she focused her attention again on bringing out her true power.
She was very close now...her lips moved without her conscious will, saying things she couldn't recall or hear with her ears. Tenshik grew strangely aware of Sesshomaru, even though her sight had faded some time ago, and her ears were useless in the state that she was now. But she could still sense him close to her, and she could also sense that his strength was failing, he wouldn't be able to hold back the enemy much longer, he needed her to finish.
'I'm trying...' She thought, and wished that he might hear it somehow. But her lips were occupied.
Tenshik's light grew brighter as Sesshomaru's faded. In his full demon form, he raged back and forth and around Tenshik, or what he hoped was still Tenshik. He never looked back at her, only at the surrounding darkness. He plowed through and across it without mercy, ripping through it with everything he had. At first it had been startlingly simple, and delivered a type of exhilarating rush, but now all of the blessings that Tenshik had bestowed upon him were diminishing. He felt his life force dwindling.
Tenshik grew more anxious. She was so close...but it seemed that time was running out. Sesshomaru was nearly... The flame in her heart crackled and burst at the thought. Gradually, everything started to fall into place. The energies around her, earth, fire, water, air, became synchronized and started working together and around her. She waited and prayed and drew them to her. When they were in perfect harmony she would be able to release all of her strength.
And they flew about her, they morphed, they were becoming unified... So close...
A cry suddenly ricocheted about her mind powerfully. Tenshik knew that voice; Sesshomaru. He was dying. That knowledge drove itself into her heart with startling force, and her head shot up where she sat. She answered his call with her own voice, "Sesshomaru!"
At that moment everything was right. Her power bolted from her body and into the living world with a sound like a thunder clap. The sky opened above her head and sunlight or lightening or both rushed down to her body. Her conditioned flesh, trained for this moment, remembered to exercise control so as not to rip the world apart. Something burning cold rippled through her and she remembered nothing more.
***
Kagome's mind reeled. A confusing wave of memories and visions and possibilities and facts still threatened to overwhelm her. She had just relived something terrible from her past...no, that couldn't have been her memories...It just couldn't have...
She groaned and realized that she could actually hear it. It was startling, it felt like forever since she had used her body. She moved her fingertips experimentally, and breathed deeply. Maybe it had been a dream.
A soft, but icy voice, disturbed that thought. "Open your eyes Kagome."
Silently she obeyed, and her eyes fluttered open. With her vision restored, she saw that there was a gray, bleak sky stretching out above her. Dim sunlight was filtering through the clouds. She raised herself onto her elbows and looked around her, she was in a grassy clearing in a forest. She knew the forest, it was the one she had lived and died in. Kagome almost laughed when she caught her thought. Apparently Tenshik's claims about their being the same person were becoming easier to believe.
Her eyes moved again around her and this time she saw the source of her amusement staring at her cooly. She looked like a ghost, a tragic heroine. Her hair was lifted around her by the chilling breeze that was blowing across the clearing, and her clothes were also carried.
"What happened after that then?" Kagome was asking about what had happened after she-Tenshik had allowed all of her power to be released.
Her response was cold and ominous. "You know the answer."
Kagome nodded. She was right, somehow...she did know all that had happened after that. "Yes I do, but please, I want to hear it from you."
"I see. To prove it to yourself."
"Yes."
They were both silent for a moment. "I was unprepared, my training was not complete, and my soul was still wounded by Sesshomaru's temporary distrust..."
"How did he know it wasn't his father, by the way?" Kagome slowly dragged herself up and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was watching the trees sway in the wind.
"I don't know. I never asked him."
Tenshik had a point, when Sesshomaru reappeared at her side there was no time to do anything that didn't concern the situation at hand.
Sensing that the subject was no longer important to Kagome, Tenshik continued. "You of course remember your dream, your first one..."
"That was when you died?"
Tenshik hesitated for a moment, "Yes. That was when I died. Because Sesshomaru was with me in the end, and he was such a part of me, I was able to release such a force that it was somehow enough to fight the God of Darkness. I drove him back enough to buy some time. He lost a great deal of his own strength when he battled with my power. In the end he was drained...and wiser because of it."
"What do you mean?"
"He understood that at that time he was not strong enough to both destroy me and the world. As of this moment he is gathering his strength...in your time, he is almost ready to unleash everything he has, and there will be nothing then that can stop him."
Kagome gasped. "What...that can't be true!" She remembered her mother, brother, grandfather... "They aren't..."
"No, nothing has happened yet. But it will soon."
"Then we have to stop it!" She scrambled to her feet and faced Tenshik desperately.
"You can't."
"What?!" Kagome was shouting now, the only sound besides the wind in the forest.
"Not in that time. I told you, there is nothing that can stop it then. You have to do it now, while he is still gathering his energy." Her voice never changed from its solemn tone.
Kagome cleared her throat. "I have to...?"
"Yes. You must."
"But I don't have the power that you did! I don't have..."
Tenshik's gaze darkened as she finished her statement, "Sesshomaru."
Kagome swallowed and nodded. The thought had only just occured to her; if she and Tenshik were truly the same person, had the same past, then naturally Kagome would be in love with Sesshomaru. She waited for Tenshik to say more, but she was silent, hinting, prompting her to believe something that she couldn't even think of.
She avoided the subject in a whisper. "You still didn't tell me what happened."
Though Tenshik's eyes were still questing for some sort of statement from Kagome, she consented after a few tense seconds and spoke, "After my death, my soul temporarily became a natural spirit again, I remembered my task and saw that there was still a chance to accomplish it while my enemy was temporarily disabled. My power was small, but it was just enough to grant me another chance. I couldn't reach the Gods in my condition, they could not help me, but somehow I was able to begin to create a new body, a new place to rest and rebuild myself...I would be born again, as you Kagome." Kagome bit her lip and shuddered slightly.
"But there were complications...I was too weak to do everything by myself, I had to seek help from a mother, my new body had to be conceived naturally in a womb because I was just too powerless to be anything like what I had once been. I had to start from the very beginning. The process was very difficult, I could not find the right spirit to help me...But then I saw that the Shikon jewel would reappear in time again, a great source of strength. Unfortunately, it would resurface very close to when my enemy would strike again, and for the final time..."
"But there was no other who could have harbored my spirit. And I needed the Shikon jewel to help me. It had enough power to suppress my own so that it would not destroy whoever held my soul in their body, and it would nurture it at the same time so that I too would be able to gather my strength again as the God of Darkness was doing."
"When I was born, when you were born, the Shikon jewel continued to protect my strength. But it was strange... Although I was working with it to become stronger, it was battling me at the same time. The Shikon jewel is wild and extremely powerful, and while I was trying to exist with it it raged so much that it nearly split me in two, and I was somehow living two lives... You went through life as yourself, unknowing that you were also me, and I saw everything through your eyes, I was almost another person, conscious of everything but unable to do anything because your spirit was stronger at the time."
"I still remembered my mission, and I was conveniently close to the well, a place where the pattern of time was significantly altered. When I was strong enough I used the both the will of the Shikon jewel and my own power to reawaken the time gate, and willingly allowed the jewel to be taken from me when I arrived in the past."
"But your spirit still remained stronger for a long time. Inuyasha's connection with the jewel was very fortunate because it was through him that I discovered the fact that Sesshomaru still lived. After meeting him I found new hope for my purpose... Until that point I had thought that I would never see Sesshomaru again, and that I would have to fight my battle alone. After a brief time of preparation I began to make you see that we were one. I used significant things from my past like the song I had always sang to Sesshomaru to make you slowly remember. And I also made him remember with visions he shared with you, because I knew that I would need him to make it possible for you to understand what was happening. And also, he would be needed in the end...as a pure soul, not one still touched by evil and grief."
"I began to press you towards the temple, where I knew I would be able use the power of the Gods to finally contact you this way, and make you see..." Her sentence trailed away, leaving Kagome wavering.
She had known everything that Tenshik had told her already, but she had needed Tenshik to say it, to make it true.
"Now Kagome, I have something that I want you to prove for me in return."
She waited patiently for the question, though again, she already knew it.
"Do you believe this?"
There was still a chance that it was all a dream, everything. That her preordained role wasn't so enormous... No, no it was true. It was true, there was no other way, and she knew it. She was never Kikyo, everything that she had thought was reality was actually the will of the Shikon jewel. It had used its connection with the priestess to make it all seem true... And Kikyo as she was now, was not really Kikyo. Her new body had been given a breath of life from a source of power that could give it to her, and did by manipulation from Urasue... And it was also true that her ghostly form of clay and grave soil was haunted by the deepest, darkest feelings of Kagome's own soul, but everyone saw that Kikyo was somehow different than the person she had once been, and it wasn't because she was driven by anger and grief, it was because her soul was not her own.
Kagome drew her hands into fists. "Yes. I do."
Tenshik smiled and the gray clouds yielded a soft, shining, life-giving rain. "Then be one with yourself."
Kagome nodded and returned her smile. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, and let all her doubts slip away. Tenshik was standing in her mind's eye, and all around her a light was shining. And then she felt that same light surround her body...When she opened her eyes again it had clouded her vision...there was a warm strength in her blood, and relief was pouring over her. When the light parted, she felt arms around her, and knew immediately who it was that was holding her so dearly.
And then dark fears crowded her mind again, all of her past experiences with him, all that they had shared together, and what was only natural...
"Sesshomaru? I'm so sorry...She died with such cruelty, you have been through so much pain, I'm so sorry... But can you, maybe, let go of me now?"
She felt him hesitate, and draw back, startled. At once his eyes roved over her, and saw that her hair had been restored to its original color, and that her eyes were dark and youthful again, and he released her gently.
Kagome sighed. To Sesshomaru, it had only been a matter of seconds, to her, it was like coming back after years...a lifetime... Sitting up, she prepared herself for what she knew she would have to say.
Sesshomaru still seemed evidently shocked, so she reached out to him and touched his shoulder. "Listen to me very carefully, please believe me...I know it's hard to understand but..." She sighed again, "I am Tenshik."
***
Wow, confusion. Wow. But now we're actually getting somewhere! Yah! But you know, I think we're all starting to drown in fluff. Ick. Maybe we should whack off a character...And don't suggest Tenshik, any of you. Feh...I wish. But really, no, it's not possible. Bye for now, don't be afraid to e-mail if you prefer that to reviewing. And I'm always on AOL as Snarfburgalar if you feel like confronting me more personally about my horrendous updating habits...SORRY.
Disclaimer: Not in a good mood. Don't bother me, look at some chapter at the beginning.
***
Reflection
Chapter 14-Don't Dare
***
Everything was spinning wildly, the next moments were scattering and insane; incoherent. Kagome was struggling just to breath while her body was twisted and abused with different feelings. She had never imagined grief could hurt like this. "Sesshomaru! No! Don't leave!" She felt as if she was being consumed from the inside out, like she was drowning in something she couldn't touch or taste, but she could feel. It started in her heart, and swept through her limbs like a storm.
The part of her mind that was still with itself, that could still make decent sense of things, immediately questioned the situation. She wasn't in any real place, what she had just seen couldn't be real. And at this particular moment, there was only darkness. Darkness all around. Infinite black, and there was nothing to hold on to. She would compare it to being suspended in mid air, or floating in space between the stars. Except there were no stars, or planets, or anything. Just black
Worse, she was feeling this pain after seeing things...Things...what had she seen? She had seen Tenshik, no, she had been Tenshik, she was Tenshik. She had remembered the day that she had first been given a body of her own from the gods, and...the day that Sesshomaru had found her...and she remembered the confrontation with Sesshomaru's father...and...and then...the temple... More pain whipped her when she remembered the night she had found Inutaisho, broken and bloody on the ground, but that was nothing compared to the way Sesshomaru had so blatantly refused her and left her there, for all he cared, to die.
If she could have, she would have cried. But she didn't know how when she was drifting in this dark void. Instead, she could only wrap herself in grief.
Kagome realized then that what Tenshik had said was true. This was the only reality she had at the moment, and it was as good as any. Those pictures and scenes were her memories, those places and people and faces were all part of her own life. And these feelings were hers, nothing could change her mind of that. Tenshik was not lying. They were the same.
And that meant that Sesshomaru really had left her there like that. But...no, no! She remembered now! It hadn't ended that way! He had returned to her!
A strong fire was building in Kagome as she struggled to remember what had happened after that dark day, for Sesshomaru did come back! It was in her dream so long ago, she had seen it happen, he would return and hold her again in love!
White replaced all the black in the void, and it was so powerful that it blinded her. When her vision was restored, she was looking upon another memory. Sesshomaru would come back in love, but it would be the last time she would see him again as living, breathing, Tenshik.
***
Demons, I see them everywhere. But never like this. They are black, twisted shapes of darkness. Each is walking death, I have never seen anything like this before, and it terrifies me. They have come.
For days, I have been wandering through the forest, my heart is gone, and I feel that I cannot live much longer. I do not know what to do without Sesshomaru. He was my soul, and now that he has left me, I am fading away. He didn't trust me, I could see it in his eyes; he didn't trust me, the one who loves him more than any other on this earth. And now time is running out.
It was all a lie. The body he buried wasn't his father's, it was never alive to begin with. I had a vision two nights after I found him lying on the bloodstained battlefield. I saw in my mind pictures of what was really before our eyes. Nothing. It was all an illusion. They had manipulated our senses and our feelings because it was an easy task while we were blinded by our love. We were so connected to each other it made us unknowing to everything else, so that the darkness could maneuver in the shadows and trick us into seeing something that wasn't even there.
The Darkness...yes, my enemy. He is almost upon me now; I can feel the waves of his evil coming to sweep me away. He saw everything, he knew everything! From the very beginning! He had known that the gods would send me, and he had known that they were speaking to me with the temple, and he had known, most terrible of all, that I was in love with Sesshomaru. It was my weakness while it was my strength. I had always been dependent on Sesshomaru to help me and to always be with me. He was my pillar of support. I had gambled with that, I think I had known what I was doing when I fell in love with him. For when I fell in love, the emotion was stronger and far more powerful because of the power that was residing inside of me. Our love replaced that power, and so the darkness saw immediately that were he to remain, he would have to eliminate it.
And he did. He fooled us... He fooled me into seeing something that wasn't there, he fooled Sesshomaru into betraying me.
Now that my power is fading, he will erase me from this earth. I have failed, but I can at least fight once more in the end in return for what the Gods have given me, all the precious experiences that I've had while walking in a human form.
I am waiting for him now, walking through the forest where I was born and waiting for him to come down upon me and end it. I know that he is just biding his time and teasing me and trying to bully me into fear with his demons that loom always, just outside of my vision.
The God of Darkness will come and destroy me, Tenshik, and I will never know anything again.
***
Tenshik walked slowly. Each step was silent. Her hair was swaying unnaturally in the wind, while her clothes billowed out about her. Despair hung all about her, she was the picture of a defeated woman, yet when looking into her lifeless eyes there could still be seen a light not yet extinguished. She would use that light to do all that she could before she was inevitably destroyed.
This was the final battle, and she knew it. She had been lost in her forest for days, having no direction or aim, but just waiting for the Darkness to come and smash what little life she had left. Sesshomaru had left her and abandoned their love. There was nothing for her to hold onto, and her power was nearly gone. The fight would be swift and shameful, but it had to be fought, for the honor of the Gods.
She stopped still suddenly. It was night. No creature stirred, there was an evil in the air. The moon above was suddenly shrouded by dark clouds, sealing off what little light had been left to pierce through the dense leaves of the trees. Tenshik looked up at the sky and watched the stars wink out one by one. There was a black wave spreading through, coming silently and slowly to her.
She whispered something low and quiet, and dropped down to sit elegantly upon her legs. The God of Darkness was coming as a visible enemy. Visible at least, to her. No one else would have been able to see what was coming. To all the mortals and demons, the stars and moon were still burning brightly, but every one of them that was near enough could sense the evil energy.
Tenshik wondered for a moment where Sesshomaru might be then. Her lost love...Was he still grieving for his father who had not died? Of course he wouldn't know that he was still alive, not until it was too late. Or he might never discover that. For when the darkness came and took care of her, it would be free to rip the world apart as it had planned for so long.
The earth shook beneath her suddenly and she took a deep, calming breath, and began to search inside of her for what remained of the power the Gods had blessed her with. She closed her eyes and slipped into deep meditation, searching, feeling for that strength. She found it, weak and small as it was, and held it inside of her. Her physical body would serve as a shield to protect it until the moment when she had to use it as a last resort. Until then, it was like a tiny, precious flame that she was trying desperately to keep from blowing out.
There was a sound like metal groaning, but she dared not open her eyes and face the scene before her. If she did, she would abandon her little strength for fear, and then she would be easy prey. While she kept her defenses strong, her little light grew as a reaction to the desperation she was feeling. It was also preparing her for when she did open her eyes and look upon the God of Darkness in the phantom form he had used to come at her. Of course it would not compare to his true form, whatever that was; this was merely a shadow-tool to rid himself of what was pathetically, his strongest enemy.
Her fists clenched and unclenched, she took hurried panting breathes. Her soul and small power was telling her that now was the time, she had to open her eyes and fight. She had found her light, so that she could protect it, now she had to do what she had to do.
Her eyes opened and she narrowed them dangerously and got to her feet. She was doing her best to keep her fear low.
There was a great shadow all around her. The forms of the trees were just distinguishable in the black mass. There were flickers of black lightening spreading like a pulse all throughout it. Its surface looked and moved like water, and it made horrible groaning noises that echoed strangely. This black light-energy was everywhere, forming a type of column that surrounded her and stretched up to the heavens where it closed in and sealed her totally. She was left in a tiny island, a space of still untouched land where she could draw herself up and make herself ready for the fight.
Her heart raced. "Fight me now!" She called. "Fight me now and be done with it!"
The only answer she received was the ever-present hiss of the evil force around her. So she stared, growing more afraid by the second, and knowing that it could sense her fear. But then her memories of Sesshomaru and the things that had been done to them and her anger surfaced. She would give this darkness no satisfaction by showing her fear. Tenshik growled and stamped her foot; a light pounded forth where it had struck the ground and the earth shook. A crevice ripped from the spot where the light had beamed and rushed out into the inky blackness, burning it away as it went. But it simply stitched itself back together, and as her eyes followed the white crevice as it grew, she saw it suddenly snuffed out like a candle.
She closed her eyes in dismay only for an instant when she heard everything stop. Tenshik gasped and looked again. Why was it suddenly so silent? The moaning cries had ceased, and as she saw that the black lights had disappeared. Then she realized it; it was going to strike.
She had a second to decide what to do before the ceiling of the force field around her came crashing down towards her body, and she quickly crashed to her knees and muttered an incantation that would hopefully serve to protect her. Tenshik heard it rumbling to her from above, and then as it hit her spell, there was a scream, or so she imagined it to be, followed by a sound like rushing water moving away from her.
All around her the darkness seemed to be fighting itself desperately to get away from her where she stood in the forest, sparks were chasing it at its edges. As it withdrew, the forms of the trees seemed to shrivel and decay until they were charred black. She winced as when she saw them, not the beautiful trees she had known at her birth, they were sickly and dying.
Abruptly, the blackness stopped roughly fifty yards from her, forming a great circle. Yet somehow, it seemed even more opposing to her at a distance than it did when it was just inches from her face.
"Finish me," she growled.
There was a rumble like an earthquake and Tenshik shut her eyes again. Still kneeling on the ground, she began speaking in a strange tongue, summoning the words that would unlock her power.
She heard it coming, it was racing toward her, coming too fast...she wouldn't be able to finish... She would have to sacrifice some of her strength to keep it away for enough time, or else it would destroy her before she had a chance to do anything. Her fist hit the ground, sending another crevice of light rocketing towards her enemy, she heard it shriek in pain and anger, burn away, then begin it's charge again. She went back to the spell.
This time she had nothing left, she had to finish her chant, if she gave anything more she wouldn't be able to summon her full strength. It was coming...coming...coming...
The sound of it grew closer. She spoke faster. Closer. Her concentration reached its peak. Closer, it was feet away.
No time.
It hit Tenshik and the barrier of protection she had created lasted seconds before it succumbed and broke away, then she was left out in the open and it poured onto her form. Her body went straight and rigid and her head snapped back. She screamed while it bore down upon her, it was as if she were being crushed by hundreds of pounds of water at one time. But after it had enveloped her, she knew pain far worse than being crushed, as it began gnawing at her flesh, seeping into her blood, filling her with the darkness... Tears ran down her cheeks as she gasped out of pain and for air that had long since been swallowed by the blackness. As she felt herself slipping away, she managed to cry out, "Sesshomaru!"
Then the darkness continued to eat away at her soul, and then it crept across her vision.
***
She could hear her heart pounding, her human heart. It felt like she was drifting away, and then it was gone. She had a haunting feeling that something wasn't done yet. What was that? What had she forgotten?
She wanted so badly to sleep, or to rest, but a thought continued to nag at her that there was still something left unfinished...something that was calling to her. Then it appeared, a light, or as it grew closer to her, a flame. It was dancing just before her eyes, and she watched it burn, small, but bright. It could be brighter, she thought. Though she knew it would burn, she reached out to it, and touched it, bathed her fingers in it, and she found that it wasn't painful, it was cool and soothing. She put her whole hand in, and then the other as well and let it caress her skin. The coolness seemed to spread through her, and she smiled. Suddenly she didn't want to sleep or rest.
And then she heard something, far off, distant. A thumping, beating noise. It grew louder. It was like the pounding of a drum. Again, and again. It kept a steady pace. To her, it sounded familiar, and she tried to place it.
Then a word came to mind, and she gasped. "Heart!" She cried, "It's my heart!"
It all came back to her, the fight, the darkness, the pain.
"Sesshomaru!" Tenshik grew frantic. "Sesshomaru!"
The light that she was still immersing her hands in shined brightly, all different colors. Hues of purple, silver, green, yellow, white, and black. Her eyes focused on it. A voice whispered from it; it sounded like she was hearing it through a wall. Meanwhile, her heart beat grew rapid and fierce.
The voice too, grew. "Tenshik!"
She smiled ecstatically, "Sesshomaru!"
The light at her hands exploded radiantly and swamped all of her surroundings, she felt air in her lungs again, and her vision was restored. Tenshik was still suspended in the darkness, but she could see that it was more transparent now, and standing just beyond it, more beautiful than the stars, sword in hand, was Sesshomaru.
She stared at him, wordless with awe, but at the same time, she had known somehow that he would come. Sesshomaru always rescued her. But as quickly as her joy came, it was replaced by fear and panic. He would be killed! There was no way he could face the evil she was battling! It was stronger than the both of them!
All around Tenshik she could see that the shadows were recoiling from whatever attack Sesshomaru had made to free her of her temporary bonds. It was moving slowly as it seemed to study him and his strength. Already she could feel that it knew Sesshomaru wouldn't be any more of an opponent than she would be.
"Sesshomaru!" Tenshik cried in a hoarse voice, aching with pain. "Go, quickly...you will die!"
He turned to her slowly where she stood. It was obvious that he was hurting. Somehow he must have found out that his father remained in the living world. But that could not be bothered with, there was no time.
"Sesshomaru! Leave!"
He strode to her and knelt by her side, lifting her into his arms and holding her against him. "I'm not leaving you now."
Her tears were flowing again. "Please..."
But she could say no more, her enemy was preparing to attack again, and already the sound of it rumbling towards them where they stood on the ground was growing wild in their ears. Tenshik gasped and limply clutched Sesshomaru's shirt in her fist with a wince of pain. She opened her mouth to warn him for the last time to go and let her fight her inescapable battle, but he interrupted her first.
"This is the enemy that you were put on this earth to fight. But you will not fight it alone." His stare moved to her eyes, and she swallowed under his gaze. "What must I do?"
"You can't-"
"Tenshik," He leaned closer, "What must I do?"
Swallowing again, she bowed her head, and thought deeply. Even if she had wanted him with her, in danger, on the battlefield, there was little that he could accomplish. They had been trained to destroy different forces. This was nothing he was familiar with. But... "There is..."
"Yes?"
"I need time to finish my spell." Sesshomaru didn't ask what her spell was, simply waited for her to continue. She went on warily while the noise like rushing waters steadily became deafening. It was hard to overcome it with her meek voice. "You have to fight for me, I will give you all the strength that I can spare, but what I give you will make me weak, I will not be able to protect myself, you have to keep it away long enough for me to finish."
He nodded. "I understand."
Smiling at him, she bowed her head into his chest and whispered an apology that was too soft for him to hear. But she meant it all the same. Poor Sesshomaru...here he had been dragged into this.
"Tenshik," his voice woke her from her from her tangled thoughts. "We don't have...time."
He was right, she lifted herself and looked into his eyes. Understanding the need to be still, he went rigid while they both fell into a sitting position. "Close your eyes." He obeyed silently. Her fingers touched his forehead, his left shoulder, his right, and hovered above his heart before she hesitantly touched it too. As soon as she had made contact with his chest Tenshik felt a great weight fall down onto her shoulders, and she sagged forward a bit. Her breathing was rough and labored. Sesshomaru's eyes opened and he held her upper arm in a grip firmer than usual. "Go, do your task." She whispered.
Reluctantly he released her and rose gracefully to his feet.
"Quickly now, it's coming." Sure enough, it was brimming over the trees, sweeping past the black forest. He turned and left at her command, and she watched him go and then carefully eased into her previous kneeling position. Before she slipped into the deepest trance she had ever accomplished, she dimly heard him transform into his true form.
***
Her hands burned. Everything burned. It hurt, but at the same time it was very soothing... Months and months had been spent preparing for this moment, to finally succeed...it was something of a comfort. She kept Sesshomaru in her mind through the whole experience, after all, she had admitted it, he was her pillar of strength. Why not exploit his presence while he was with her again? Tenshik reconsidered it for a moment, and decided that she should be glad at least, that she would never have to worry about being parted from him ever again. In mere moments, their spirits would travel together to the afterlife, whatever was waiting for them after everything they knew now was destroyed, they would experience it together. The small, melancholy hope that this was true lifted her spirits slightly, and she focused her attention again on bringing out her true power.
She was very close now...her lips moved without her conscious will, saying things she couldn't recall or hear with her ears. Tenshik grew strangely aware of Sesshomaru, even though her sight had faded some time ago, and her ears were useless in the state that she was now. But she could still sense him close to her, and she could also sense that his strength was failing, he wouldn't be able to hold back the enemy much longer, he needed her to finish.
'I'm trying...' She thought, and wished that he might hear it somehow. But her lips were occupied.
Tenshik's light grew brighter as Sesshomaru's faded. In his full demon form, he raged back and forth and around Tenshik, or what he hoped was still Tenshik. He never looked back at her, only at the surrounding darkness. He plowed through and across it without mercy, ripping through it with everything he had. At first it had been startlingly simple, and delivered a type of exhilarating rush, but now all of the blessings that Tenshik had bestowed upon him were diminishing. He felt his life force dwindling.
Tenshik grew more anxious. She was so close...but it seemed that time was running out. Sesshomaru was nearly... The flame in her heart crackled and burst at the thought. Gradually, everything started to fall into place. The energies around her, earth, fire, water, air, became synchronized and started working together and around her. She waited and prayed and drew them to her. When they were in perfect harmony she would be able to release all of her strength.
And they flew about her, they morphed, they were becoming unified... So close...
A cry suddenly ricocheted about her mind powerfully. Tenshik knew that voice; Sesshomaru. He was dying. That knowledge drove itself into her heart with startling force, and her head shot up where she sat. She answered his call with her own voice, "Sesshomaru!"
At that moment everything was right. Her power bolted from her body and into the living world with a sound like a thunder clap. The sky opened above her head and sunlight or lightening or both rushed down to her body. Her conditioned flesh, trained for this moment, remembered to exercise control so as not to rip the world apart. Something burning cold rippled through her and she remembered nothing more.
***
Kagome's mind reeled. A confusing wave of memories and visions and possibilities and facts still threatened to overwhelm her. She had just relived something terrible from her past...no, that couldn't have been her memories...It just couldn't have...
She groaned and realized that she could actually hear it. It was startling, it felt like forever since she had used her body. She moved her fingertips experimentally, and breathed deeply. Maybe it had been a dream.
A soft, but icy voice, disturbed that thought. "Open your eyes Kagome."
Silently she obeyed, and her eyes fluttered open. With her vision restored, she saw that there was a gray, bleak sky stretching out above her. Dim sunlight was filtering through the clouds. She raised herself onto her elbows and looked around her, she was in a grassy clearing in a forest. She knew the forest, it was the one she had lived and died in. Kagome almost laughed when she caught her thought. Apparently Tenshik's claims about their being the same person were becoming easier to believe.
Her eyes moved again around her and this time she saw the source of her amusement staring at her cooly. She looked like a ghost, a tragic heroine. Her hair was lifted around her by the chilling breeze that was blowing across the clearing, and her clothes were also carried.
"What happened after that then?" Kagome was asking about what had happened after she-Tenshik had allowed all of her power to be released.
Her response was cold and ominous. "You know the answer."
Kagome nodded. She was right, somehow...she did know all that had happened after that. "Yes I do, but please, I want to hear it from you."
"I see. To prove it to yourself."
"Yes."
They were both silent for a moment. "I was unprepared, my training was not complete, and my soul was still wounded by Sesshomaru's temporary distrust..."
"How did he know it wasn't his father, by the way?" Kagome slowly dragged herself up and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was watching the trees sway in the wind.
"I don't know. I never asked him."
Tenshik had a point, when Sesshomaru reappeared at her side there was no time to do anything that didn't concern the situation at hand.
Sensing that the subject was no longer important to Kagome, Tenshik continued. "You of course remember your dream, your first one..."
"That was when you died?"
Tenshik hesitated for a moment, "Yes. That was when I died. Because Sesshomaru was with me in the end, and he was such a part of me, I was able to release such a force that it was somehow enough to fight the God of Darkness. I drove him back enough to buy some time. He lost a great deal of his own strength when he battled with my power. In the end he was drained...and wiser because of it."
"What do you mean?"
"He understood that at that time he was not strong enough to both destroy me and the world. As of this moment he is gathering his strength...in your time, he is almost ready to unleash everything he has, and there will be nothing then that can stop him."
Kagome gasped. "What...that can't be true!" She remembered her mother, brother, grandfather... "They aren't..."
"No, nothing has happened yet. But it will soon."
"Then we have to stop it!" She scrambled to her feet and faced Tenshik desperately.
"You can't."
"What?!" Kagome was shouting now, the only sound besides the wind in the forest.
"Not in that time. I told you, there is nothing that can stop it then. You have to do it now, while he is still gathering his energy." Her voice never changed from its solemn tone.
Kagome cleared her throat. "I have to...?"
"Yes. You must."
"But I don't have the power that you did! I don't have..."
Tenshik's gaze darkened as she finished her statement, "Sesshomaru."
Kagome swallowed and nodded. The thought had only just occured to her; if she and Tenshik were truly the same person, had the same past, then naturally Kagome would be in love with Sesshomaru. She waited for Tenshik to say more, but she was silent, hinting, prompting her to believe something that she couldn't even think of.
She avoided the subject in a whisper. "You still didn't tell me what happened."
Though Tenshik's eyes were still questing for some sort of statement from Kagome, she consented after a few tense seconds and spoke, "After my death, my soul temporarily became a natural spirit again, I remembered my task and saw that there was still a chance to accomplish it while my enemy was temporarily disabled. My power was small, but it was just enough to grant me another chance. I couldn't reach the Gods in my condition, they could not help me, but somehow I was able to begin to create a new body, a new place to rest and rebuild myself...I would be born again, as you Kagome." Kagome bit her lip and shuddered slightly.
"But there were complications...I was too weak to do everything by myself, I had to seek help from a mother, my new body had to be conceived naturally in a womb because I was just too powerless to be anything like what I had once been. I had to start from the very beginning. The process was very difficult, I could not find the right spirit to help me...But then I saw that the Shikon jewel would reappear in time again, a great source of strength. Unfortunately, it would resurface very close to when my enemy would strike again, and for the final time..."
"But there was no other who could have harbored my spirit. And I needed the Shikon jewel to help me. It had enough power to suppress my own so that it would not destroy whoever held my soul in their body, and it would nurture it at the same time so that I too would be able to gather my strength again as the God of Darkness was doing."
"When I was born, when you were born, the Shikon jewel continued to protect my strength. But it was strange... Although I was working with it to become stronger, it was battling me at the same time. The Shikon jewel is wild and extremely powerful, and while I was trying to exist with it it raged so much that it nearly split me in two, and I was somehow living two lives... You went through life as yourself, unknowing that you were also me, and I saw everything through your eyes, I was almost another person, conscious of everything but unable to do anything because your spirit was stronger at the time."
"I still remembered my mission, and I was conveniently close to the well, a place where the pattern of time was significantly altered. When I was strong enough I used the both the will of the Shikon jewel and my own power to reawaken the time gate, and willingly allowed the jewel to be taken from me when I arrived in the past."
"But your spirit still remained stronger for a long time. Inuyasha's connection with the jewel was very fortunate because it was through him that I discovered the fact that Sesshomaru still lived. After meeting him I found new hope for my purpose... Until that point I had thought that I would never see Sesshomaru again, and that I would have to fight my battle alone. After a brief time of preparation I began to make you see that we were one. I used significant things from my past like the song I had always sang to Sesshomaru to make you slowly remember. And I also made him remember with visions he shared with you, because I knew that I would need him to make it possible for you to understand what was happening. And also, he would be needed in the end...as a pure soul, not one still touched by evil and grief."
"I began to press you towards the temple, where I knew I would be able use the power of the Gods to finally contact you this way, and make you see..." Her sentence trailed away, leaving Kagome wavering.
She had known everything that Tenshik had told her already, but she had needed Tenshik to say it, to make it true.
"Now Kagome, I have something that I want you to prove for me in return."
She waited patiently for the question, though again, she already knew it.
"Do you believe this?"
There was still a chance that it was all a dream, everything. That her preordained role wasn't so enormous... No, no it was true. It was true, there was no other way, and she knew it. She was never Kikyo, everything that she had thought was reality was actually the will of the Shikon jewel. It had used its connection with the priestess to make it all seem true... And Kikyo as she was now, was not really Kikyo. Her new body had been given a breath of life from a source of power that could give it to her, and did by manipulation from Urasue... And it was also true that her ghostly form of clay and grave soil was haunted by the deepest, darkest feelings of Kagome's own soul, but everyone saw that Kikyo was somehow different than the person she had once been, and it wasn't because she was driven by anger and grief, it was because her soul was not her own.
Kagome drew her hands into fists. "Yes. I do."
Tenshik smiled and the gray clouds yielded a soft, shining, life-giving rain. "Then be one with yourself."
Kagome nodded and returned her smile. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, and let all her doubts slip away. Tenshik was standing in her mind's eye, and all around her a light was shining. And then she felt that same light surround her body...When she opened her eyes again it had clouded her vision...there was a warm strength in her blood, and relief was pouring over her. When the light parted, she felt arms around her, and knew immediately who it was that was holding her so dearly.
And then dark fears crowded her mind again, all of her past experiences with him, all that they had shared together, and what was only natural...
"Sesshomaru? I'm so sorry...She died with such cruelty, you have been through so much pain, I'm so sorry... But can you, maybe, let go of me now?"
She felt him hesitate, and draw back, startled. At once his eyes roved over her, and saw that her hair had been restored to its original color, and that her eyes were dark and youthful again, and he released her gently.
Kagome sighed. To Sesshomaru, it had only been a matter of seconds, to her, it was like coming back after years...a lifetime... Sitting up, she prepared herself for what she knew she would have to say.
Sesshomaru still seemed evidently shocked, so she reached out to him and touched his shoulder. "Listen to me very carefully, please believe me...I know it's hard to understand but..." She sighed again, "I am Tenshik."
***
Wow, confusion. Wow. But now we're actually getting somewhere! Yah! But you know, I think we're all starting to drown in fluff. Ick. Maybe we should whack off a character...And don't suggest Tenshik, any of you. Feh...I wish. But really, no, it's not possible. Bye for now, don't be afraid to e-mail if you prefer that to reviewing. And I'm always on AOL as Snarfburgalar if you feel like confronting me more personally about my horrendous updating habits...SORRY.
