The white envelope sits in your locker, glaring at you. You stand at your locker door, and slowly take it out and hold it in your hands, to give to Grissom. "I can't lose one of my best CSI's," you can imagine him saying. You sigh, and lean against the door. You look out through the window in the door into the lab. You spy Nick coming to the door, and hurriedly put the envelope back in your pocket. He's the last person you want knowing. But it's the perfect opportunity for you to ask him what's going on.

"Hi," you say.

"Hey," he says stiffly.

"Nick," you say.

"What?" he asks.

You take a deep breath. "I want to sort this out," you say.

"Sort what out?" he asks.

"Look, just come with me, I'm not discussing it here," you say, hands on your hips.

He sighs. "Fine."

You quickly grab your coat and things and you leave the lab. People stare at you, and you stare back. Nick looks down at the ground, clearly uncomfortable.

You go to the usual place and neither of you say a word on the way. You almost give him your coat to hang up, but that was the old times, and you hang it up yourself. You both order, and sit down in a small booth. You don't make any attempt to make conversation, even though it was you who brought you both here.

Nick sighs, and changes his position several times. "Sara," he says pointedly, "I thought we came here to talk."

"I need coffee first," you say.

You return to gazing out the window, trying to work out what to say. Eventually the food comes.

"Your coffee's here," he says bluntly, "You can start talking."

You turn and look at him. "I don't like being alienated by my colleagues."

He returns my stare. "I don't like being treated like something on the bottom of your shoe," he says in reply.

"I never treated you like that," you say, "I just turned you down."

"Then why did you make such a big deal about it?" he asks in frustration.

"I didn't, you did," you say.

"I didn't do anything," he retorts.

"We've been through this before," you say, "you're the one who tried to kiss me. You're the one who asked me why I refused your advances. You're the one who avoided me. All I didn't do was kiss you or tell you why I didn't. Yet," you say, warming up to your argument, "you ask me why I made a big deal over it. Because you can't hide your feelings, you've gained everyone else's sympathy and turned me into the enemy. You've made it bigger than it really is."

"But why? Can't you just answer this one question?" he asks.

You turn away. "I'll answer it one condition," you reply, "You have to answer my question afterwards."

"Okay," he agrees.

You sigh and rearrange yourself on the chair. "I didn't want to lose the friendship we had built," you say quietly, "And by kissing me, you abused the trust that I had in you. Nick, you of all people should know how hard it is for me to trust anyone."

You look at him.

Then he frowns, "But, isn't that what you wanted Sara? Something more than friendship?" he asks. "Everything you said, everything you did told me that you wanted us to be more than friends. So I went that extra step, and you blame me." He shakes his head. "I don't know Sara, I really don't know. I just think it's not all my fault. Action and reaction. Cause and consequence."

"Are you telling me some of it's my fault?" you ask, "that I led you on?"

"Well," Nick says.

"Nick, please, just think about this one thing. If we had gone any further, and then decided it wouldn't work between us, where would we have been?" you ask.

You swirl your coffee and look out the window, waiting for his answer.

"Sara?" Nick says, "You know where we would have been? We would have been right here. Like now. Uncomfortable and awkward. With one of us ready to hand in our resignation."

You look at him, shocked.

"No, it's not me," he adds.

"What?" you ask. "I wouldn't do that," you lie, thinking of that envelope in your coat.

"Really?" he asks.

And you think. Maybe Nick saw you put that white envelope back in your coat earlier, somehow knowing what was inside. No, you think. Nick just knows these things. Nick knows you.

"Sara?" he asks tiredly.

"Yeah?" you reply.

"Can we just forget all about this? It's all out of control. One kiss and BAM!" he hits the table. "Can't we just go back to how it was before?" he asks.

You want that so much. You would give anything to have everything as it was before. But life isn't like that. Time doesn't go backwards.

"I can forgive you, but I won't forget," you say, "I wish I could though."

"I can do that," Nick says. "Shall we get back to work?"

You nod, and you both get up. You refuse Nick's offer to pay for you. He hands you your coat and opens the door for you.

You take out the white envelope and wordlessly hand it to him.

He looks at it, questioning.

You nod, hands in your pockets. He rips it in two and puts it in the nearest bin.

He links his arm through yours.

You shake your head.

He sighs, and unlinks his arm.

Forgive, but not forget.