Hello? Anyone here? No? Oh good. For once, I can do an Author's note without being injured.

I own nothing. Save for Luna and Roi. However, those who want to use either of them may. Provided, of course, that I am asked. If not, then I will come down on you like the pile of rectangular building things that just fell on me. Ouch! Damn it, with all these new authors, there's all sorts of construction here on FF.Net. Hmm. At least my comfortable Biscarvet Manor is free to relax in. Wait a sec… No! Where is my manor? What do you mean, it's behind this construction? What about the viewshed? I had great views of the Hellsing section! This is unfair! What? No, I won't lodge a complaint. Ah well. I still have a story to do. And Marth and Link are both healed, because the gag was wearing thin.

The Smash Canteen was a busy place. Everyone was there, except for Mr. Game&Watch, who spent all of his free time inside a Game&Watch unit. People sat where they pleased, though mostly they bunched up alongside friendship lines. Marth and Link stood in line behind Samus and Captain Falcon, who were having one of their perennial arguments. "But Armored Muffin, you left the bra in my room!" Captain Falcon rubbed his cheek. Marth and Link snickered. Samus turned around and glared at them. They both whistled innocently. After Samus had dragged Captain Falcon over to an empty table, Link strode up to the counter.

"What would you like, Mr. Link?" Mrs. Miggins asked.

"Well, I would love a dodongo steak, grilled just to perfection in a rock-pit, marinated in yogurt sauce, and then garnished with peahat wings. But, I'll settle for the gunk on the menu." Link sighed.

"Ah, so you won't be having the dodongo steak, then." She removed an aluminum wrapped object from the serving window. Underneath it was what looked to Marth like an alligator skin purse. Link grabbed her arm.

"Let's not be hasty, Mrs. Miggins. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? How great a cook you are? Have I ever called you the paragon of women you are?"

"Ah, Mr. Link, flattery can get you anywhere! Here you go." She placed the steak on his tray. Link made a hungry noise in his mouth. "And I haven't forgotten you, Mr. Marth. One Peking Duck." She placed the duck on Marth's tray. "And for drinks that's a Chateau Romani for Mr. Link, and a saki for Marth." She handed them the two drinks.

"Did Master Hand approve your proposal, then?"

"Indeed he did, Mr. Marth. From now on, his fighters dine like kings. I mean, we're making enough money from the matches and television shows, I don't see why not!"

After spending a few more minutes congratulating both themselves and the elderly chef, the two friends moved over to a seat overlooking the forest. Link smiled, then began devouring the scaly steak with gusto. Marth watched, disgusted. "How can you eat that? It looks like lizard meat!"

"As a matter of fact, Marth, it is not lizard meat. It is dragon flesh, and there is not a single taste anywhere to compare with it." Marth tuned him out and then began eating his duck.

All of a sudden, their peaceful meal was distracted by loud wolf whistles. They both looked up. Roi and Zelda were heading towards them, Roi embarrassed, Zelda furious. Marth and Link's hands went to their swords. When Roi sat down, there were loud catcalls from the villain's table and from Fox and Falco. Link muttered to himself something that sounded like, "Pigs".

"These people. You'd think they had nothing better to do with their time." Zelda's face was blotched white and red. The apoplectic princess continued, "the minute Roi walked in they all started whistling. I'm tempted to order you to kill them all, Link." Link nodded and began drawing his blade.

"Really, Zelda, there's no need. I suppose it's my own fault for wearing so little." Roi blushed again at the stares Link and Marth were giving her. "Um, my face is up here, boys." Link's head snapped up so quickly it made an audible snap. Marth moved up slower, taking in everything until Link slapped the back of his head. The rest of the meal carried on in general silence, broken only by Link and Marth talking about military matters.

"No, no, no. That might be the way you humans do it, but we prefer a more subtle approach. Stealth wins out over brute force 5/10."

"Yes, but what about the other 5 times?" Roi hardly listened. When she had been a boy, she would have been smack in the middle of the argument. But now, her interest in military matters were limited. She preferred to watch Marth. He's so handsome, and also he's smart. I wonder why I never noticed that before?

* * *

After the meal was finished, they were leaving when Roi jumped. "Someone pinched me!" They all turned around. There was no one there but Fox, who had a guilty look on his face. Link shook his head and continued on. He had gone all of 6 steps before he realized Marth wasn't with him. Turning slowly, dreading what he was about to see, he saw Marth standing over Fox, who had been pushed so hard on to the floor his leg had broken. Link swore under his breath and ran to Marth.

"Baka Kitsune! You want to die? Do it again! Come on!" Marth drew his sword and waved it in front of Fox. "Want to touch something? Touch this!" He was about to slice Fox's head off when his blade was knocked from his hands by a vicious cut to the palm. He turned to see Link glaring at him.

"You fool. Nothing would justify what you were about to do. Are you a warrior, or are you just some type of vicious thug?" Link snarled, and then turned to Fox. "As for you, if you ever do anything like that again, you will wish I had let Marth kill you. Being killed by Marth would be like heaven compared to 5 minutes with me," he pulled a pencil out of a pocket, "and this pencil. Understand?" Fox stared at the pencil. "Good." He dragged Marth and Roi out of the canteen. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but changed his mind, instead stalking off down the corridor.

Marth and Roi waited until he was gone, then they both started laughing. "Link really needs to let loose!"

"Ha! Do you really think he meant that about the pencil?"

"I don't know, but it got Fox's attention." Roi stared at Marth. Marth stared at Roi. Finally, Roi spoke first. "Look, about last night…"

"Yes. I have to tell you something, Roi. I don't think we can have a relationship. It just won't work." Roi looked hurt. Marth felt like a heel, but continued anyway, "I mean, what would your father say? And really, I doubt you want to have a relationship with someone who can enrage his best friend into trying to kill him. God knows what I would get you to do."

"No. 1, you and Link have had so many fights and blood thirsty duels that I'm surprised either of you is still alive, and yet you two remain inseparable. No 2, I don't know what my father will say, though considering that he's thought I'm a girl for the past two years, I don't think he matters. Besides, he doesn't know."

"Actually, he does. Apparently Link sent him a letter detailing what happened." They turned around to see Zelda. "And as to what he thinks, you can ask him yourself. Or, at least ask his proxy."

"What do you mean?" Zelda passed Roi a letter. "Says here that… oh no! He's sending someone to the 'Family visiting day!'. Damn Link…wait. The family visiting day… that's tomorrow, isn't it?" Marth looked worried. His sister would be visiting tomorrow if that was the case. Zelda shuffled her feet.

"Actually… it's today. We need to get better mail service." Link said. He had changed out of his normal tunic into a silk one, and his hair had been groomed even more then it normally was. Y. Link ran into him, dressed in a squire's outfit. Link turned to his mini self. "I do not like this at all. Yet needs must have."

"Whoah! Links, your family turning up or something?" Marth asked lightheartedly.

A variety of expressions crossed Link's face, before settling on vague sadness and deep pain. He pulled his sword out and let the light reflect on it. "This is my only family, Marth. My sword." He spun it back into his sheath. Y. Link's face also wore the same expression, while Zelda's face shut down. Marth coughed, embarrassed. What could he mean by that? I know he doesn't speak of his family at all. Maybe he was exiled.

Roi looked perplexed. "But Link, if your family isn't coming, then what's with the fancy dress?"

Link was about to answer when a massive hand slapped him forward. A big, red robed, white bearded Hylian strode into the room, with a crown set firmly on his head. Link and Y. Link rapidly stood to attention, swords held high. The big Hylian laughed, "At ease, my boy! At ease! This is an informal visit!" He turned but then his attention snapped back. He stared open mouthed. "Wait a tic. Why are two Links standing in front of me?" Link and Y. Link babbled out all sorts of explanations. He waved them aside. "No matter. I suppose it has something to do with that hand." He was tackled from behind by Zelda.

"Father!" The old man easily lifted Zelda off and embraced her in a bear hug. Marth sighed. Was every Hylian male wearing those accursed gauntlets?

"Father?" Roi and Marth asked together.

Link straightened his tunic and turned to them. "You have the honor of standing in the presence of his Most Holy Hyrulian Majesty, King Harkinian Terbot Hyrule the 2nd." They fell to their knees. "And Roi, I would suggest that you go and pull on a dress." The king was looking at her curiously.

"Ah, of course. 'Til water fails us, and our swords fall beside us, we will continue to fight, even as we die." The king waited for something. The Links spat and did the triangle symbol.

"Um, hello, your majesty." Roi stammered, confused.

"Oh, that's right. Sorry, thought you were a Gerudo." Link spat again and swore. "Enough, Link. You would be that Roy fellow, wouldn't you. Link told me all about what happened. Sadly, we have no cure for it, but you seem to be coping well. If I was you, though, I would go put on some more clothes" Roi ran to her room, embarrassed. "Now, you would be Prince Marth, would you not?"

"Please, your majesty, I am unworthy of the title prince. I lost any right I had to it when I let my people die. Now I am but a humble warrior, attempting to erase the stain on my honor. My sister, my only living relative, rules in my stead." Marth sounded apologetic. Surely this king would ignore me now, he thought.

"Hmm. So you're still better off then my champion here." Once again, Link's face flickered with some deep sorrow. "Ah, well. When your sister arrives I'll discuss the aid proposal with her, then. Now, Link, why don't we go find somewhere to sit?" The two Links led their king to the balcony. Zelda followed. Marth turned, running to get some decent clothes on to meet his sister…

One, two, three, everyone say, cliffhanger! Ah, it's good to be back in the saddle.