Hello it's me – hey, that's one of my favorite songs. Anyone familiar with The Virgin Suicides soundtrack? No/yes? Ah well, anyway...um, hi? Yeah. READ.
Disclaimer: If I really owned this, you wouldn't hear the end of it.
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Chapter 11-I Know You
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The next morning I was embraced in bedding at all sides and my towel was half off. I'm relatively modest at the weirdest times, so sleeping naked is definately a 'no.' Even waking up, completely covered in feather pillows and comforters, I gave a rather shrill squeak and bolted up and into the bathroom, a marshmallow of billowing white covers.
Inuyasha, having heard my call, came tearing in moments later, as usual. I was getting tired of that.
He hung around in front of my door, pounding it with his fist until I emerged, draped cleanly in a fresh towel. His yellow eyes wandered past me. "Why are all your covers in the bathroom?" he asked plainly.
"My business," I snapped, and was supremely grateful that he didn't poke the subject further, because I had that uncomfortable morning-after feeling you get when you cry uncontrollably, and I was sure that, given time to remember the evening, I'd start all over again.
On my way to my closet, leaving a befuddled Inuyasha in my wake, I did indeed feel the prickling of fresh tears stirring in my eyelids as I brushed over my personal disaster. And then...with a start of surprise, I remembered even more...
"Sesshomaru," I gasped as I made to pull open my wardrobe. It was barely even a whisper, but he heard it anyway, and nothing in the world could have possibly kept him from investigating.
"Sesshomaru? What about Sesshomaru?" he said icily from behind me. There wasn't much hunger for gossip in his voice, more protectiveness. Over-protectiveness.
But it was early morning as far as I was concerned, I was a twit, I looked like I'd aged ten years, it'd been a rough night, and I didn't hear him; I even forgot he was there, and my thoughts continued to dictate what my mouth said, unfortunately for me.
"Oh my God," I shrieked, "I let him undress me!"
And that, was when the heavens parted, and rained down its great and terrible wrath right on top of my head.
"YOU, WHAT?!"
The only plus of the situation being that he'd finally gotten my attention, so I didn't have to worry about my mouth going berserk without my knowledge, I felt the icy hand of doom upon my shoulder, and turned around as slowly...as possible.
By the time I'd gone the full 180 degrees, he was staring down at me from his considerable height, inches from my face, practically breathing fire.
"Oh..." I said in a trembling voice, "It's not so bad...I mean, it's not what you think." I'll admit I wasn't so convincing for an actress. What should have been a period at the end of my sentence actually sounded more like a question mark.
"Really," he hissed. I don't think that I'd ever seen him so furious. His eyes were narrow slivers of burning yellow, and there was a certain rigidity about him, with his folded arms and straight jaw, that made him seem like an animal about to attack.
"Um..." My hand tightened fearfully on my towel. This was my death, I knew it; I could feel it.
"Tell me what happened," a single arm uncurled itself from in front of his chest and pointed, straight as an arrow, at the bed. "Sit. Now." Familiar.
I scurried past him and obeyed, eager to tack a few more seconds onto my life.
"Speak."
And then a little spark blew up deep down in me, the very tiniest spark. I sure didn't feel rebellious, but I was a bit more confident; my voice didn't tremble nearly as much as I thought it would.
"Remember Hojo?"
The answer he gave came through gritted teeth. "Yes."
"I thought I would like to give a relationship with him a shot – now, don't get mad," I said hastily when I saw the look on his face, "Er...mad-der." I took a breath, and went on, "I stopped in front of his dressing room when I was leaving the theater to say something, and walked in on him and Kikyo practically making out. Nevermind, they were making out."
"Who the fuck is Kikyo?"
Another swell of confidence, that was very quickly engulfed by the well of sadness that erupted inside of me. "Kikyo is..." Tears. Would he care that I was crying, when I said it, if I did? Would he get that look on his face that made him seem out of place? ...Or would he still dwell on Sesshomaru?
"Kikyo is Hojo's current love interest," I said dejectedly, my head sagged, I closed my eyes.
"Well I can tell that."
"You don't understand – "
"Obviously."
I gave him a foul look and continued, "Kikyo's been my rival from day one. She hates me, and she's even told me that herself. When I walked in on them I knew from the look on her face that Hojo doesn't mean anything to her..." my voice grew softer, "She probably just waltzed in after the rehearsal and threw herself on him. She's just using him to get to me...probably because I got the part, an amateur, and she didn't."
He seemed to consider my speech for a moment, then looked slightly abashed; some of the ferocity left him. "I'm sorry..." he said, "What does all of that have to do with Sesshomaru?"
"Well, when I saw them, I got a little...emotional."
"Big surprise."
"Will you quit interrupting me?" I snapped. He rolled his eyes. "...As I was saying, I was crying my eyes out and when I left the theater I met him."
"Met him? You guys had a date planned? And you were trying to go with Hojo?"
"No!" A brief sigh of frustration, then, "I just found him out there."
"He was waiting for you?"
I shook my head slowly, "I have no idea. All I know is that he talked to me, and helped me into his car, and drove me home."
"And then you had sex with him. You..."
"No! I just let him undress me!"
Again with the narrow eyes.
"Um...partly. He just took of my shirt and bra okay?"
"You're not making things any better for yourself."
"He said I should take a shower!"
"With him?"
"NO! By myself! He was just helping me out of my clothes because I was hysterical! I hardly knew what was going on! And to be honest, I don't even care."
"So you're saying he saw your upper torso naked and you don't give a shit, is that right?"
"I covered myself well enough."
His look was skeptical, but he let it go. "Fine. Then what happened."
"I took the shower, and he did not watch or violate me in any way, and then – "
"And then?"
I paused, memories of just what happened next flooding into my brain at a rate that I could hardly keep up with. All I knew was that the information I had received during the night should be kept from Inuyasha at all costs; at least for the time being. Who knew what he would do with it. Hell, I didn't even know what I would do with it.
"...He was gone, but he left me a note asking me to call him. So he can make sure I'm okay," I replied, thinking quickly.
Thankfully, he bought it. "So what are you going to do?"
"Call him, of course! He drove me home, it's the least I can do."
"Drove you home and undressed you, all for some phone sex, what a deal."
"INUYASHA."
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He was banished from my room with threats following him about breaking a chair over his head, so that I might be in peace to phone Sesshomaru. But just to prevent him from listening on the line or putting an ear to my door, I pointed him down the hall towards Miroku and Sango so that he could spread the news he'd just heard about my nightly excursion with his brother, while I used my cell phone and locked myself in my bathroom; just to be safe.
With my address book laying open on my lap, I dialed Sesshomaru's number with a trembling hand with the skylight shining down on me faintly. I made a note of just how long each individual ring felt to me as I sat in the bathtub, shower curtain drawn and every light off.
"Kagome." It was his cold, silky voice all right. No mistaking it; or the resolute tone.
I felt my heart rate excel. "Yeah...um, you got it." A strange silence followed, I broke it, seeing as it was obvious he expected me to talk. "I ah...I haven't killed myself. Heh, yet."
"I'd prefer you didn't." He wasn't the type of person who appreciated sarcasm, at least in situations like ours.
"Oh, don't worry...Just kidding..."
"Are you all right."
"Me? I'm fine, I'm fine... Thanks."
"You don't sound like it."
It was perhaps the worst moment to make a strange noise, but I did, by kicking on the water by accident with my foot. Hey, it was dark. I couldn't see. But that strange noise was nothing compared to what unavoidably came out of my mouth when the iciest water ever came bearing down on me from the showerhead. If I'd just turned the water on from the taps, that would have been fine, but not the shower...
"SHIT! FUCK, THAT'S COLD! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK!"
I scrambled to get out of the tub, landing with the grace of a dead sea lion being pitched off a tall cliff on the cold tiled floor devoid of the bedding I'd removed from it earlier; drenched in freezing water and still spewing obscenities into to the cell phone that had miraculously survived the onslaught of ice and was still very much on.
And then, just to top off the disaster, several glass bottles of something, lotion maybe, fell off the top of the cupboard I'd bumped into on my way out of the bathtub and crashed loudly on the floor. I can only imagine what all of this must have sounded like to Sesshomaru.
...And I can only imagine what my face must have looked like when I realized I was still talking to him.
Strange, awkward quiet. For the second time that day, I tried to think fast, and failed rather miserably.
"Oh, um...whoops? Clumsy me..."
"What happened."
"You know you sound a lot like your brother, WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!"
"Answer me."
"...I tripped?"
"Not good enough."
"It's nothing, really, I just...fell out of the bathtub."
"Why."
"I turned the water on. It was dark, I couldn't see."
"Why was it dark."
"I'm hiding in the bathroom. To avoid spies."
Man, it just got better and better.
He must have been trying to process the absurdity that was coming for me, because there was a very long period of time – again – during which no one said anything.
And then, his conclusion.
"You are going to meet me in twenty minutes in front of your apartment."
"Sesshomaru, I get the feeling you don't trust me. But you do, don't you?"
"Absolutely not."
"...Oh...well then, do I have a choice?"
"No."
"Oh, okay, just checking. See you in twenty minutes?
"Yes."
And then he hung up. I reached behind me to massage my head, and then fumbled for a light switch. It was going to be no easy task finding my concealer to hide the bruises that were no doubt swelling in the mess I'd made.
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Then twenty minutes later...
Well actually it was more like thirty, I was so flustered that I couldn't quit falling over just about every single thing; and Sesshomaru noticed.
I saw him immediately, leaning rather elegantly against the side of the building, right next to the doors, waiting for me. Several young ladies that happened to pass by while I approached him giggled to themselves annoyingly.
'Har har bitches...if only you knew how much stress he's causing me' I thought darkly to myself.
"Where did you get those bruises," he asked calmly.
"I can't believe you haven't noticed already, but I'm not really the most graceful person in the world," I folded my arms, "Enough said."
It was small, slight, but very much there, and to me it seemed like a wild grin; he rarely smiled. "Perhaps we should adjourn to some place rather more comfortable."
It was rather surprising, as I hadn't really expected him to hang around more than ten minutes, just to see if I was indeed, okay. But here he was watching me quietly, obviously desiring me to agree.
And I did. It couldn't hurt, could it?
We walked together in rather tense silence for a while down the street, until we turned and I suggested that we head to a café not far away to get something to drink.
"It's a nice place to...talk," I said.
"Sounds fine," he replied.
So we walked some more. Walked...and said nothing, me just a little ways ahead so that I could steer him in the right direction. Because I can't handle uncomfortable bouts of quiet, and though I was pretty sure he found them agreeable, I spoke up just as we were coming upon the café.
"It's funny..." I said softly, "How everyone thinks I'm suicidal. You, Inuyasha...even Miroku and Sango have hinted at it occasionally."
"You don't come off as such, but your actions would suggest otherwise."
"That's 'somewhat' reassuring."
"You will agree with me that you often make choices that make your state of mind seem questionable to others?"
If it had been coming from anyone else, I'd have been pissy and defensive; but oddly, I wasn't so irritated. I even laughed.
"Yeah, I guess you're right...But I just can't help it sometimes, you know? I mean since, since Kouga, I can't really feel the same way I used to about, well, anything really. It's made me do things I wouldn't normally do."
He didn't hesitate when I said Kouga's name, even though he knew very well all about the whole thing. "I'm sorry for that."
"It's okay. It's no big deal anymore, I guess."
"It is."
"Oh?"
"No one should expect you to recover so quickly after something that defines the way you lead the rest of your life occurs. And you shouldn't expect it of yourself either."
I was surprised, a little blush touched my cheeks. "Thanks, it's nice to hear that."
A nod was the only response I got.
At about that time we came to the café, and no more was said about Kouga or my bleeding heart.
It was a nice enough little outing, we talked rather comfortably with each other, and I was given a rather forceful opportunity to better explain what I was doing with the lights off in my bathtub as I was talking to him. I decided that Sesshomaru wasn't as stoic as I'd thought, and apparently, so did he.
He asked for me to meet him again sometime in the next few days...seeing as I was so blatantly suicidal. After all, someone had to keep track of what I was doing, and certainly not such a volatile gossip as Inuyasha.
As I was leaving to go back to my apartment (I politely declined his offer to walk me back), we cleared something up.
"Sesshomaru?" I said, feeling completely unsure of myself but unable to resist the urge to ask the question that had been swirling around in my head since I'd stepped out of my apartment building.
He turned and regarded me with his golden eyes, prompting me to continue.
"This isn't...this isn't a.... I mean, you don't think it's a... Well, you don't, do you?"
Another very very slight smile. "If it bothers you, allow yourself to think of it as a meeting between friends."
I returned that very very slight smile. "Okay."
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Sorry...In a strange mood. Requiem For a Dream does that to you. Holy shit, I know what my anti-drug is. Review responses and story reccomendations next chapter, promise.
