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LOVE

Chapter 12-I Walked With You

LOVE

I went back; despite everything, I went back. I guess it was something of pride. I couldn't really let Kikyo see she'd gotten to me, could I? And besides, if I left, who would play Juliet – her?

Couldn't possibly have that.

So I went back, and it was terrible. Although my fellow actors frequently told me how well I was focusing and how smoothly my lines came, I was about numb from the neck down. Whatever emotion I had was manufactured and came straight from my lips, not from my heart, and ironically I always thought that's where acting talent was supposed to come.

Perhaps it was the fact that Kikyo never missed an opportunity to flirt with Hojo, to kiss Hojo. And Hojo himself, sheesh, what an enigma. I let myself believe that he was truly desperate, or maybe that he'd had his heart broken like mine and instead of caving in he snatched at any chance he had, thinking it might be his last.

It was cruel of him to toy around with me though, even if that wasn't his intention at the time. Again, another possibility was that he was just a really nice guy, and Kikyo had no doubt poured her heart out for him; maybe he felt he had no choice if he wanted to keep her from bursting into tears.

But that was silly, because then why hadn't he been a really nice guy and remembered how he'd been for me? I sure did. I remembered all the coy glances, all the blushing and stuttering and pussy-footing around. Most of all I remembered his face close to mine when we'd been moments away from sharing a first kiss the day I hurt my foot, and then the real thing when we'd done our first practice as Romeo and Juliet.

Men. For me, at that time, I was noticing a distinct trend of them shooting some attention my way and then finding a more worthier candidate. I wasn't opposed to the idea of lesbianism, so I was about five seconds away from joining the other side just to spite the male race.

And I knew that I couldn't handle chasing after Hojo anymore when we kissed again in the second rehearsal; because it was devoid of love, it was devoid of passion, it was awkward and stupid. It felt like Hojo was wondering what to do next, hoping I might tell him, and I knew I was waiting for it to end.

When we broke off all the other actors gathered had a sort of strange, single look on their faces. Like, "what was that?"

So I wouldn't; I decided after that icy kiss that I wouldn't chase after Hojo anymore. That was just what I did, too.

LOVE

Poor Yukari, she was baffled. I remember the tentative knock on my door after the second rehearsal.

"May I come in?" she asked timidly from behind the wood.

"Yeah, I'm here," was my dreary reply.

She slipped around the door, and seemed relieved when she saw that I had no unnecessary visitors. But that was over quick when she apparently remembered what she'd come for and how hard it would be to bring up the subject.

I noticed this, and did it for her. "It's okay, they make a good couple."

Relief again, and a little pain, "No they don't."

That drew a small, dry laugh from me, and I turned away from my mirror, "No," I agreed, "They really, really don't."

Then we both laughed together, and meant it. It wasn't an awkward laugh, we were being honest with ourselves for once. But when it was over, it was back to reality.

"Are you going to be...okay?" she asked sweetly, "Don't pretend that you weren't shocked when you saw them snuggling all over the place today."

"Oh yeah, sure, I never knew Hojo was such a fan of PDA, but it was nothing."

"I said, don't pretend."

I smiled slyly, "But you don't understand, I've already done my crying for him."

She looked mildly surprised, knowing that I had something up my sleeve. "You didn't know until today though; I didn't see you duck out to the bathroom or anything..."

"Yeah? Guess who walked in on them making-out in his dressing room?"

Her eyes widened, "You didn't! When?!"

"Mmm, after the first rehearsal," I took a deep breath and leaned back with my eyes skyward, preparing myself visibly for the telling of a strange story. "I was all ready to say something to him, I'd been coaching myself, and I saw that he was in his room when I was leaving the theater. So I thought, 'now's as good a time as any' and waltzed in, only to find them holding each other and doing what they apparently do best."

"Wow..." she muttered in awe.

"Oh, but it gets better. Hojo didn't say a thing, but she was all ready to tell me that they were in love, and gave me this look and this smile... She's using him to get to me."

"What? How do you know?"

"Kikyo's always been testy about me. When I first tried out to be here she spoke out the most against me, and when I was early for the auditions for this show she took me aside and told me how incompetent and horrible I was."

"Holy shit."

"You got it. I'm sure it was the straw that broke the camel's back when I got Juliet."

"That's awful," Yukari said, looking mortified and disgusted. "I wonder what would make her hate you so much..."

"I think she just hates competition. She was the star of the show before I got here, am I right?"

"Oh yeah, she always got leads, was the envy of every girl and the object of desire for every guy – except Hojo."

"Well I don't exactly have her reputation; I'd hardly call myself 'an object of desire,' or envy for that matter, but for a while I did sort of have Hojo."

She snapped her fingers, "And you were so close!" Then a glint came into her eyes, "So what do you intend to do?"

I blinked, "What do you mean?"

"To get him back! It's just like a teen movie!"

"Excuse me?"

"You know! The underdog always wins the guy!"

I grinned, "Yukari, you have an abysmal imagination."

She was persistent, "But that's the way it's done; you have to steal him back."

"I'm not stealing anyone. She can keep him for all I care. I mean, he seems happy."

"But it's not true love!"

"According to him it is, and if they can keep the charade up between them then more power to 'em. It's good that he's feeling...good. I'll even indulge Kikyo with some pining and broken-heartedness if that's what it takes for her to be a nice girlfriend for Hojo."

"That's awfully noble of you, in the wrong way."

"What?"

"I still think you should try to get him back."

I could practically feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks when I remembered another step in the equation.

"Oh? And what's that for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"That blush! I've never seen one like it."

At that I turned around rather sharply, back to my mirror, and kept my eyes pointed sternly to the ground.

"Absolutely nothing. You're imagining things."

I really didn't know what I was blushing about. It made no sense.

LOVE

I was getting very sick of make-overs. It seemed that every few months the universe frowned down on me and decided it would re-arrange my life. I wouldn't necessarily feel so put-upon if I was being consistently reminded of how bad my luck was.

A few months back I'd had the imaginary finger of truth pointed in my face when Kouga had clearly explained how I wasn't enough for him. The bonus was that someone else was, and I got to meet her and her unborn child.

Swell.

Next, fate nudged me in a more traditional direction, and I revamped my wardrobe; however, against my will.

Okay, after that, just when I'm getting used to things, all things bright and beautiful get tipped upside down again. I watch my would-be boyfriend make-out with my arch nemesis, and then I endure one of the most awkward experiences I've ever had being undressed by my best-friend's brother.

Bizarre, but the best part is that the whole "awkward experience" wasn't really all that awkward. In fact, besides the initial shock the next morning, I didn't have much trouble looking back on the occasion.

The evidence of this being that I had no problem at all leaving my apartment four days later to meet the older brother in question for a check-up of sorts; except Inuyasha, but he doesn't count. He's always a problem.

And I didn't really leave my apartment that easily.

"Move." I side-stepped again, making toward the door. Then, his hand came out of nowhere.

Well, I was close.

He tightened his grip on my wrist menacingly. "I'm not letting you go out!"

"No one asked for your opinion. Leggo."

Inuyasha was no longer Inuyasha. He was a collective mass of pulsating energy; buzzing, not thinking. He knew I was going to ask him why he wouldn't let me out, and in the meantime he was dodging around the subject as best he could.

"...No!"

We glared at each other in the doorway for a second, and then I got a crafty look in my eye; Inuyasha must have seen it, because he bowed his head apprehensively and tightened his iron hold on my arm even more.

But that was just what I wanted him to do, and without a second more spared to consider my options (and they were few), I stooped down quick as I could and promptly sank my teeth into his forearm.

"OW!" He withdrew cursing and sputtering, while I threw open the door and ran for it.

Being the persistent little bitch that he is, Inuyasha tore after me, and was gaining ground fast. Yet despite his impressive speed, I managed to give him the slip as I ducked into the elevator with a teetering old lady.

As the doors closed on his furious face I waved cheerfully, "See you later, Inuyasha!"

"I'm not letting you out again," he shouted, "You can't do this to me, I live with you!"

"Don't I know it. We'll resume this conversation when I get home." Then, as an afterthought, I yelled through the very last crack between the sliding doors, "IF I FEEL LIKE IT!"

His screeching followed us down two floors before it finally faded away. The woman I was riding with smiled at me shyly as we waited to reach the ground level, and I beamed right back at her. Then, just because I felt like strengthening my reputation as a psycho amongst the elderly, I started doing a little dance to the elevator music.

As the doors opened again I half-expected to see Sesshomaru staring coldly at me, which would have made me jump out of my skin and no doubt my fellow traveler would have had a fatal heart-attack; he had a strange talent for catching me doing who the hell knows what at my very strangest moments.

It was a relief when I saw that he wasn't, and I skipped out happily into the lobby. Through the double-doors was a beautiful day, though not by my standards. Sunny, pleasant, cheerful, and not a cloud in sight.

I frowned.

It was a little known fact amongst my friends and family that I didn't prefer sunny days. I know I should've, from what they told me, but I didn't.

"Kagome, you're always so cheerful."

"Kagome, your hair looks so pretty in the sunshine!"

"Kagome, you're such a flower-child!"

"Kagome, you're just sunny all the time!"

Etc.

Maybe it was just recent events that spurred me to prefer dark days at the time, but I'm pretty sure that I've been rather more fond of rainy days all my life. My hair might look pretty in the sunshine, but it looks lovely when it's sopping wet. I'm not a flower-child, and I'm sunniest and most cheerful when I'm hopping around in a thunderstorm.

It's just a fact.

So I glowered, and shuffled my feet around, but decided not to take a taxi. Hell, I wasn't completely foreign to walking once in a while.

I had great intentions, but it was a bad idea anyway. Sure, five miles isn't so bad, I said. Fuck that. Under the hot New York sun? Ha.

But I'm stubborn, so even when I was dragging myself along and fanning my face with a book I'd found in my purse, I didn't call a taxi, and I didn't collapse in a café to buy a bottle of water. No sir, I wanted to rough it.

LOVE

"You're late."

"Really?" I flopped down on a bench, like a freshly cut tree, and let my face get mashed into the panels of wood. "I'm sorry."

"How sorry?" He asked me from where he stood next to a pond, staring down at me benevolently.

"Not...very... Hey, think I'll be disturbing the wildlife if I go take a dip in that pond?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer. I wasn't looking at him, but I imagine he was again trying to fathom my absurd behavior.

"Oh come on," I continued, voice muffled by the bench, "It'll be fun. You can come too, we'll go skinny dipping."

Again, no answer. I patted the part of the bench that wasn't occupied by my face. "Sit."

"You're not really in a position to direct me anywhere."

"I sure am," I said with mock outrage, "What do you want me to do? Physically force you to sit? No, I'm too tired. You'll have to settle for verbal command."

I think he may of laughed, in a cocky way. But that's really wishful thinking. It was more of a "Heh," and that hardly qualifies. Even so, I did get him to smile once. Kinda.

Even more surprising, he actually did what I said. When I felt his weight settle beside my head, I shifted onto my back and looked up at him with my hands resting on my stomach.

"I don't understand you," he said stoically.

I blinked, "Join the club. You, Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, Rin, Shippo...um....me. ...Why, does it bother you?"

"It frustrates me, occasionally."

My brow furrowed, I made a face and said, "I'm sorry, I'll try to make more sense," and I was actually being sincere, too. I wasn't completely oblivious to the trouble I caused other people with my spontaneous, head-in-the-clouds periods.

He raised his head and looked out over the pond where some swans were gliding idly by. "No," he said, "I'd rather you didn't."

I shrugged nonchalantly, "Whatever you want."

"Why are you so exhausted, may I ask?"

This enticed a smile from me, it wasn't like Sesshomaru to be so polite and forgiving. It made me wonder what had brought on the change. "I walked. It's who knows how far from my apartment to this park. And, it was hot, and...I didn't stop anywhere to take a break."

"Do you do such things often?"

I laughed. "Probably a quarter of my entire life has been spent in a taxi. Even though it was tiring, I think the fresh air will prove its worth over the next few days."

"You forget you're in New York. There is no 'fresh air.'"

Again, I snickered, "Oh yes. Who knows, I may have just boosted my chances of getting lung cancer."

"The price you pay."

"For what?"

"For being stubborn."

I sat up sharply, and his gold eyes rested on me when I did so. "Me? You think I'm stubborn?"

The eyes narrowed in a teasing way. "You are. What you mistake for stubbornness in me is actually a sense of command."

I snorted in a very unfeminine way, "No kidding. A very, very strong sense of command," then I folded my arms. "Call it what you will, but I've already determined that stubbornness runs in your family and I won't be convinced otherwise."

"Would you then settle for it being 'persistency?'" he said appealingly.

I grinned. "Look at us...we're both so stubborn that we're having an argument about it."

He tilted his chin downwards ever so slightly so that he was looking up at me imploringly. "You didn't answer my question."

"Well..." I watched him closely for a few seconds, "I wouldn't really call it persistency. You don't have to be persistent. You just say it and it's done."

A look of triumph crossed his features for a split-second.

"What?"

"Then you agree that it is a strong sense of command."

My eyes widened slightly when I realized my defeat, and then I waved my hands around in the air above my head frantically, "This conversation is pointless! You're firm, okay? You're firm, that's it." Then I flopped back down on my back, and saw him appearing amused above me, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Now seriously, what about that pond? Think anybody would care if I just dove in for a second?"

LOVE

I remember Inuyasha's face very clearly when I opened the door and crossed the threshold a little while later. You can tell something's up with him when you know that he's furious but he does his best not to show it.

Stony-faced and livid with rage, he was standing just a few feet from me with his arms folded and his back straight.

"Why is it so dark in here?" I said, trying to act innocent and pawing around for the light switch. "For effect?" He'd drawn all the curtains and all the blinds, and every appliance was turned off. Inuyasha was a sucker for drama; mostly because of me, because he'd realized early on that pure presence wasn't enough to intimidate his room mate, so he had to go the extra mile.

"We need to have a talk," he said darkly. I could see his silvery hair glinting in the shadows. His eyes did not need to glint, they practically glowed. Like little satanic lamps.

I couldn't find the light switch, oddly, so I crossed the living room and made for the drapes; I could feel his stare following me.

"Okay," I replied, throwing back the curtains, "But first let's get a bit more light in here."

Moving around the room, and into the kitchen, inviting natural light in, I continued to try to keep up my naive facade. "So, what would you like to talk about?"

He didn't answer.

"We can't talk if you won't talk back." I finished with the windows and returned to the living room. "Come on, what's on your mind?" My jacket was removed, and I left again to hang it in the closet, after which I paced calmly to my bedroom to stow my purse away.

He had since shifted a little to watch me fuss about, even though I never saw him move an inch.

"You remind me of a statue," I said as I finally settled down on the couch. Inuyasha walked toward me and halted abruptly in front of my face.

"Won't you sit?" I asked sweetly.

His reply was short and venomous. "I'd rather stand, thank you."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged, "Now tell me what we need to talk about."

"You."

"Me?" I gestured to myself.

"Don't act so coy," he bit out fiercely, "Don't you respect me more than that?"

"Okay..." I nodded slowly, "You're being serious..."

"Of course I am. What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

My hands came up in defense of myself, "I'll stop messing around, really! I'm serious, I'm serious."

"Not. That."

"Well what then?" I scolded, "You tell me not to be coy and here you're deliberately keeping me in the dark!"

Inuyasha then sighed, and I felt something big coming. His shoulders sagged, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before returning to me in a far more subdued manner. "Why are you getting involved with my brother?"

Shocked, I stared at him bizarrely. "I-Involved? You mean us...meeting?"

He looked sad, and desperately tired. I sensed he'd lost some sleep on the subject, and immediately felt a pang of guilt for having yelled at him.

"Yes."

"Inuyasha..." my voice was soft, "I'm not...I'm not, seeing him."

"Well then what do you see him for?" He asked tragically.

"It's not like that at all!" I replied, "Sesshomaru just wants to make sure I'm okay."

Inuyasha made a disdainful noise. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know!" I said, feeling cornered again, as so often happened, "Maybe he just – " I stopped suddenly, having caught myself at the last moment.

But it was in vain, he finished for me. "Cares about you?"

"That's not possible," I said, my previous calm flooding out of me swiftly.

"Kagome, he's cold, but he's not emotionless."

"No," my voice was rising shrilly little by little, "He said Rin would be upset if something happened to me, he's just making sure I'm – "

"That's what I'm for. Sesshomaru knows we live together," he interrupted, "He can ask me anytime about how you are."

"But..." I said, "He wouldn't dare think that. He's not a bad guy, but I'm...well, I'm your best friend, and it's no secret that you guys don't like each other always."

Inuyasha shrugged, "Maybe he's jealous of me."

"What?"

"Maybe he's jealous because I get to spend so much time with you."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "Inuyasha! Listen to yourself! Sesshomaru doesn't... It's just ridiculous," I breathed.

He gave me a knowing look.

"Okay, what makes you think he does?" I countered.

"He undressed you, for one thing," he said sourly.

"That was an accident and you know it!"

"...Well, I don't know how to explain this, but it's like you're a whole different subject to him, Kagome."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I'm his brother, after all."

I lifted a couch cushion and screamed as hard as a I could into it. When I reappeared from it's plush comfort, I saw that he was seated next to me, looking crushed.

"Suppose...I believe you," I said. "Why would you have a problem with us?"

"Sesshomaru isn't the type of person to be sincere. I've seen how he treats his girlfriends."

"Yeah? How?"

"Never gives them the time of day," he said wistfully. "I always feel sorry for them. Rin's the only one he's ever been devoted to."

"Inuyasha, I've seen how he acts around Rin, and he does not act like that around me."

"Well, she's his sister, you know."

"And what am I? His...his girlfriend? Absolutely not."

"Oh?"

"Yes. In fact, we've already discussed this very thing. And we've already decided that we aren't dating." I hugged the pillow close. "Maybe he thinks of me as a sister."

"You know, just because Kouga and Hojo were stupid enough to choose other people doesn't mean that every male in the world suddenly won't have feelings for you."

"I know that. But that doesn't make what you're saying true."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night."

LOVE

Short chapter, yes I know.

Review Responses from past...um...since chapter nine, yeah? If I mess up and respond to you all twice, you will laugh and be joyful, so it doesn't matter if I do.

Yes. On with the show.

Addanc-TSC: Wow. You're peppy. I don't think I've been as energized as you in about...ten years. And the best part is, you're energized about little old me. I can't even begin to express how truly flattered I am, but this is kind of bad because now I don't take nothin' from no one anymore. Just like... "Did you just say 'hello' to me? Are you insane? I'm the best writer ever. You can't say 'hello' to me like you're my equal."

Hoshi-chan1: Dude! I know TWO insomniacs now! I'm glad I could help, get some sleep.

BlueDove: You can be a total ditz sometimes you say? Yeah well...you and me both. Thanks for reading!

bittersweet-memory: It's so cool that you think Inuyasha is rather neat as a gay guy, and that you think Sesshomaru belongs in New York, because there are cats that weigh more than the number of people who generally agree with me. (I stole that from David Sedaris...if anyone but me knows what I'm talking about.)

Kiki Smythe: Is someone a Sesshomaru/Kagome fan...? Hm? Yeah you are.

Malfunction: Joy! Someone says they're reading my story recommendations! YOU HAVE HAPPIFIED ME.

acrimsonnight: Ooo...I'm so glad you're having a good time reading this, my comrade. It's grand that you've seen The Virgin Suicides, because I'm obsessed with that movie/book/soundtrack and constantly make little references to it. As for your question about what Miroku could've been saying at the party, that's for me to know.

...And you to find out... I guess...

I will divulge this, yes, that part you asked about was foreshadowing. You already know that now though, HA HA. Don't get too hasty though, either. Who knows who the couple will be.

Oh yeah, I DO. Shnikes, I'm so...wicked.

Chibi-Midnight-Sakai: Thanks for reading, I'm so glad you like it!

Rosebark: Ah, ah, ah! Don't get ahead of yourself now... It might be Sesshomaru/Kagome...It might not...you never know... Thanks for reading!

Peenya Kowlada: Now really...Hojo is so terribly dull. Why did you want him to really get together with her? Not to say that they won't, or that they will, for that matter. But honestly, what's the appeal? He's so soft. To clear things up, what Kikyo did was basically burst into Hojo's dressing room and start gushing her heart out for him about how she "loved" him. She was faking of course, and yes, to hurt Kagome. It was lucky for her that he responded the way he did, otherwise her plan to crush her enemy would have gone down in flames, and done nothing more than make things only slightly awkward. Sorry if you were disturbed by the undressing scene, we're just supposed to assume that she was drunk on her own misery and didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

LOVE

Story Recommendations:

Everything by psycho pixie. It's all I have time to list.