And as we reach the end of our little play, who knows what there is to say?

"Nothing within is owned by me", that's what I say. "Nothing save Roi and joy at nearing the completion of this toy."

And so, with a bittersweet heart, I welcome you all to the final chapter (but one) of our little tale. I hope you have been entertained.

"Link!" Roi shouted, breaking away from Harding. She stared at the newcomer in surprise. "How..."

"This is not the time for questions, my young padawan." Link answered, keeping his sword at Harding's throat. "Go to Marth. Everything will be explained later."

"Your young what?"

"Sorry, what did I say?" Link smiled and gestured for her to run back. "Now, what to do with you..."

Harding fell to his knees, clasping his hands in prayer. "Please don't kill me..." The Prince begged. "It was all..." He looked around his supporters and pick someone at random. "His fault!"

Mario blinked. "The Pastry Chef?" Him and the other smashers all exchanged glances.

"Yes!" Harding shouted, jubilantly. "The pastry chef!" He rubbed his eyes and forced himself to cry. "He threatened to withdraw his snack-making skills unless I married Roi! I'm a good boy... Please, I was just misled by poor company."

"..." Captain Falcon strode over, pushed Link out of the way, and picked Harding up, shaking him like a damp rag. "I came all the way here. For free. I got an arrow stuck in my posterior! My ship is scratched! And you have the gall to only come up with an excuse like that?"

Marth, who was quietly comforting the crying Roi, looked up at Falcon. "Captain, I hardly think that this is the right time..."

"Pika! Pi pika chu!" Pikachu shouted from the window. As one everyone, including the Bernians, looked up.

"Um...translation?" Mario asked Mewtwo.

"He says that there is a massive army of men flying the Bern flag. They are all heavily armed."

"Ha! Let's see you deal with that!" Harding shouted, happily. "Let me live and I promise you'll get off easy!"

Ganondorf looked at Mewtwo. "Deal with it." He ordered.

"Of course, master..." Mewtwo grabbed Ness. "Come on, you can make yourself useful."

"Are you people stupid! What are you, big lizards?" One of the Bernite nobles snapped. "Um...no offense..."

Bowser ate him.

On the highest tower of the central keep, Mewtwo and Ness floated into the air. Around the castle, the required dramatic army made predictable warsongs. "On three! One, two, three!"

"You don't need to see his identification. These are not the droids you are looking for! Move along!"

Link rubbed his eyes and slowly slid down to the ground. "...I'm still dead and this is hell..." The Hylian murmured, quietly.

Ganondorf made vaguely comforting noises to his archenemy. Then, with an 'if you mention this to anyone I'll kill you and your families look' he directed at everyone else, the Prince of Darkness picked Link up and gave him a massive bearhug. "Never do that again!" he cried. "I was so scared that my life was going to be without meaning..."

Link blinked. "Waaah! I apologize for all misdeeds in this and past lives..." He sobbed.

Marth leaned over and whispered in Ganondorf's ear, "I think he's already in a very fragile emotional state, Ganon. You might want to...mmmmph!" Roi had taken advantage of his distraction to hug him firmly and deliver a loving kiss.

Caught up in the spirit of the moment more than anything else, Luigi and Falco shared a quiet pash. Mario blinked. "I was sure it would have been Falcon, more than anyone eeek."

The Captain had, without turning from Harding, delivered a ringing kick to the back of Mario's head.

"May I remind you that there is a massive army still out there?" Harding asked, just moments before he suddenly imploded with a popping noise into a corpse an inch tall that Falcon disposed of by throwing in a rubbish bin.

"Dealt with them," Mewtwo sniffed, blowing the fire burning on his hands out.

Mario coughed. "Roi, I think you were meant to say something about how while he may be evil, he still shouldn't die but instead should suffer for his misdeeds for the rest of his life."

"I was? No, I was thinking I should nod approvingly to Mewtwo, blow him a kiss, then ask the man I love to take me home." Roi blew a kiss to Mewtwo, whose entire body turned red. "Take me home, Marth..."

Link sighed. "Well, I'm glad everything's worked out." Behind him, Ganondorf lay unconscious on the ground. "If you'll all excuse me, I want to leave before Zelda...turns..." he noticed they were all staring at him. "She's right behind me, isn't she." The other smashers all nodded. "Oh, good." Link pasted a happy smile on his face and turned around to find Zelda directly in front of him, hands on her hips. "Ah, Zelda. Um. I think I might owe you several explanations. So, I'll just..." Suddenly he threw something to the ground.

There was a blinding light, and when it cleared..."Ummm...would you all mind closing your eyes or something while I run to the door?" Link grinned nervously. "Someday, that will work!"

Zelda grabbed him by the ear and pulled him with her. "Yes, Link, you do owe me an explanation. And you will give it. But first..." She reached behind the altar and pulled up the priest. "You will marry me."

"...Huh?" Link's mouth opened and closed soundlessly. "I'll do what-now with the who?"

"Don't be so stupid. You walked up to the altar of your own free will."

"I'm very attached to my ear, I thought I had better follow it."

"Enough! Link, you are going to marry me!" Zelda's eyes filled with tears. "And maybe next time you'll think before you do something that stupid again!"

"...You knew I would be back?" Link asked, quietly.

"Nope. This is what you could call an 'oh good, he's alive, he's well, I'm going to marry him and then I'm going to kill him for scaring me half to death' gesture." Zelda tugged at his sleeve. "Please?"

Link looked down at her for a moment, considering. "Zelda...I love you very much." He ran a hand through her hair when she clung to his tunic and started to cry even louder. "But..."

Cliffy! All will be resolved in the last episode of A Familiar Stranger!