A/N: Haven't put a disclaimer for a while. Harry Potter and co. are still not mine. Thanks for the reviews, they make my day!
Dear Professor, Lupin smiled as he saw the previous word scribbled out, Remus,
Hi, how's it going? I know that term's only just started but I thought I'd just write to you to see how you're doing. I know that things have been tough on us both recently, and I know that you're the one who's supposed to take care of me, but if you ever need to talk or anything just let me know. I'm a good listener; any friend of Hermione's would have to be! Our new teacher's settled in nicely. Remus smiled. I'm looking after her too. She say's I might be able to visit you sometime, which should be good. The other day she tried to teach us a defensive spell against Distraction Charms. Needless to say it didn't go so well, as I can't even remember the name of it and spent most of the lesson staring out the window while our ever-so-useful teacher taught the girls how to curl their hair with their wands. He gave a laugh at this. Hope you're not too lonely. Write back if you feel like it. Remus thought he would. I should really get on with my homework now. Hermione says I'm procrastinating (is that spelt right?) but I'm not entirely sure what that means so I just agreed. Stay well. See you around,
Best,
Harry.
The letter had been unexpected but welcome. The full moon had taken a toll on him, more so than usual. Remus had spent the day after his transformation staring into the bottom of a glass, wishing he didn't ache so much and that Molly Weasley would stop cleaning around him like he was a piece of old furniture. Old is right, he had thought to himself miserably. Then Hedwig had arrived that evening, staring at him impatiently with her large amber eyes as if to say, 'Yes, it's for you!' Remus had read the letter and re-read it several times. It didn't say much; on the contrary it was rather brief, what with the risk of mail being intercepted. However, what it did say lightened his heart every time he read it, so much so that he reached for a piece of parchment after about the fifteenth time of reading the letter, as if he had suddenly gained inspiration from it.
Dear Mr Potter, he scribed as a joke and then scratched it out to write his name, Harry,
Thank you very much for your letter, it was unexpected but very much appreciated. He paused, thinking of what to write next. I am ok, not my best I must admit, there's no point pretending as I have no doubt that you would see straight through it. I will be fine though, so don't you worry. I'm glad things are going well with your new teacher. She sounds rather interesting; perhaps I could meet her some time. However, I will be seriously disappointed if she knocks me off the top spot for favourite teacher. You are welcome to visit me any time you feel like it (except during term time of course!) He stressed this firmly. Look after yourself, and stay out of trouble. Give my best to Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Write again soon, it's good to hear from you.
Take care,
Remus.
It was a rainy Sunday morning in October. Harry lay static in bed. He had had a dream, or rather a nightmare. The same long corridor that had plagued his dreams for so long the year before was back, along with re-enactments of the night in the Department of Mysteries. It flashed before his eyes like still images. Black and white and silent. But it ended differently. There in front of him on the stone dais lay his friends, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Neville; they were all dead, unmoving in this bizarre film-like scenario. He turned around to the towering stone steps. The Order members were there too, also lying motionless. The air was thick and Harry felt sick with fear. Then he heard a laugh, a cold and eerie laugh that echoed around the stone amphitheatre like thunder. He looked up and there she stood, Bellatrix Lestrange, her hollow eyes piercing down on him even from a distance.
"Now, it's your turn."
Harry had woken suddenly. He still felt queasy and got out of bed slowly to prevent it from going any further. His dorm was empty, though it was still relatively early. The common room was sparsely occupied, and not one of the students acknowledged Harry as he made his way through the room and out of the portrait hole.
He walked slowly into the Great Hall and down to the Gryffindor table. Ginny was there alone, eating toast and flicking through the pages of the Daily Prophet. She looked up as he neared.
"Oh hey, there you are." She frowned as she saw the expression on his pale face. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"I need to talk to you." She nodded and went to move up in her seat. "No, not here. Meet me in the Room of Requirement in half an hour. Bring Luna if you can get hold of her." Ginny nodded, the quizzical look on her face still apparent as he turned and left the way he came.
Ron and Hermione met Ginny, Luna and Neville outside the Room of Requirement. Each wore a look of confusion and nervous anticipation. Harry joined them a moment later and, having thought of a place where he could converse comfortably, opened the door and entered without speaking to any of them.
Two leather sofas were placed in the centre of the room. Harry took a seat and the others copied him. Hermione spoke up.
"What's this about Harry? Are we having a D.A meeting?" She looked to the door, expecting a group of students to enter as she spoke. However, Harry shook his head and waited until they were all settled before speaking. He took a deep breath.
"I've been meaning to do this for a couple of weeks now, but I've put it off. I had a dream last night and I know now that I can't put it off any longer." His friends were staring at him, concerned. He continued. "What happened last term…" he sighed in annoyance. "I know what I want to say, but I don't know how to say it." He put his head in his hands in frustration. "What happened at the Depart… at the Ministry, it shouldn't have happened. I think we all know that. But it did, and … because of my stupidity … you guys could have been killed." Hermione began to intervene but he raised his hand to silence her. "No Hermione, you were right. You were right all along, you always are. And I should have listened to you, to all of you. I put your lives in danger because I'm too reckless for my own good." He lowered his head, tears threatening to fall.
"No Harry," Ron spoke up quietly. "We chose to come with you, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. You're my best mate, and I would go with you anywhere, no matter what the risk."
"And me," Hermione said.
"Me too," Ginny agreed. Neville nodded and Luna gave a brave smile.
"Thank you," Harry whispered, aware of the tears now falling down his cheeks. He wiped them away with his sleeve and felt Hermione rub his back. "I only wish things could have been different. I was foolish, and irresponsible, and believe me I've paid for it!" He stopped and began to sob uncontrollably. Hermione pulled him into a hug. Ron looked away uncomfortably. Ginny went over to a sideboard to fetch a box of tissues. She handed them to Harry.
"Thanks," he mumbled into his sleeve. When he had calmed down and taken a few deep breaths he looked up at them all.
"I guess what I want to say is that I'm sorry for the pain I caused you and thank you for risking your lives for me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you guys."
"It was an honour," Luna said proudly and Harry gave her a little smile.
"And, although I've lost someone so close to me," he heard Hermione give a little sob next to him, "At least I should be thankful that you are all ok. And I hope you can forgive me."
"Nothing to forgive, mate," Ron said firmly. Harry smiled weakly. He was so overwhelmed by this feeling of friendship that all he could do was nod. Seeing his friends there before him, alive and happy, made him feel another step nearer to closure.
It was nearing half term. The school was buzzing with a need for a well-earned break. To Harry it seemed like a lifetime since summer. The weather had changed dramatically, and the castle seemed to have been surrounded by rain clouds constantly for the past month. Harry entered his Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, barely finding the energy to make it to his seat. He noticed that Tonks looked in need of a well-deserved rest. She yawned as the class entered and adopted her usual position the desk with her legs crossed under her.
"Morning, afternoon or whatever. Was gonna have a theory lesson today but I'm worried I'll fall asleep, as some of you guys would by the looks of things. So, change of plan, we are going to start on Reflection Spells today. They are another way of returning an opponents attack, without gaining injury to yourself…hopefully," she added. "Now, if we are doing this correctly it is likely that you will receive your own spell back at you. This is why we are only going to practice using a Stunning Spell, ok? Listening, Parvati?" she asked loudly, causing Parvati to stop her whispered conversation with Lavender and turn a deep shade of red. "Good. Now, can I have a volunteer? Hello? Nobody? Fine then I'll have to choose someone myself." Harry would have offered if he weren't feeling so lousy, and shrunk in his seat in the hope that Tonks would pass him by. "Draco, will you join me at the front please?" Her cousin looked up, startled. His grey eyes shifted warily. "I just need you to demonstrate, is that ok?" He nodded, not wanting to appear unconfident.
"Yes, I suppose so." He sauntered up to the front of the class and turned to face Tonks. His eyes flitted from her spiky pink hair to her eyes, which matched. He suppressed a shudder.
"Right," Tonks was saying. "You'd best try it out on me first. You say Stupefy at me and I'll rebound it back to you by saying Reflecto Proprietor, ok?" Draco nodded. Harry was please to see that he looked rather nervous. "Right, I'll give you a count of three."
"Is that on three or after three?" Draco asked her quickly and she nodded.
"Yes that's right," she said absently, tripping over her chair as she made space for them out front. "Ok, every one watching? Ready Draco? Ok let's go. One… two…thr"
"Stupefy!" Draco yelled. Tonks barely raised her wand in time, and only partly managed to deflect the spell. It hit her, causing her to fall backwards and hit her back against the desk. Hermione and Lavender ran from their seats.
"What's the matter with you, Malfoy? Can't you count?" Ron shouted angrily. Malfoy just stood there, looking both stunned and horrified. The look faded as he saw Tonks get up unharmed.
"I'm ok. Sit down Ron. It was an accident, wasn't it Draco?" he nodded eagerly and returned to his seat, hoping his fellow-Slytherins hadn't noticed his moment of worry. Goyle was giving him a questioning glance, which he shrugged off.
"Perhaps, we should move on," Tonks said, rolling her shoulders back and wincing slightly in pain. Harry felt guilty and wished he had volunteered. He glanced heatedly at Malfoy.
"Problem, Potter?"
"Yeah, you!" he hissed in return.
"Sorry, didn't mean to hurt your girlfriend. What's Granger think of you're love affair? Jealous?" Harry gave a glance to see if Tonks was in earshot before retorting.
"Why? Are you?"
"Yeah right! She's a Mud-Blood and all! They'll get what's coming to them soon enough."
"Shut up!" Harry hissed again, feeling his anger bubbling up inside.
"What kind of Auror can't even deflect a Stunning Spell?" he asked Goyle loudly, who gave a chuckle of agreement. "Not a very good one, that's what. If my father knew about this freak teaching classes –"
"Well you're father's not around now is he Malfoy!" Harry hadn't taken Malfoy's 'freak' comment too well. Draco glared at him furiously.
"And whose fault's that, Potter. Touched a nerve did I? Don't like our precious Dora being called a freak do we?" he sneered.
"Shut up!"
"What's going on back there?" Tonks called from across the room. Harry looked at the desk to hide the heat that had risen in his cheeks.
"Nothing," he replied.
"Don't know why she's so pally with you though Potter," Malfoy continued. Harry wished he wouldn't. "Didn't you kill our cousin, Sirius Black?"
Harry was out of his chair before Ron had time to grab him.
"Harry, no!" Hermione cried. Ron tried to hold him back, but Harry knocked him over and proceeded to drag Malfoy off his chair. Crabbe and Goyle began to intervene when Tonks made her way through the tables and managed single-handedly to split the boys up. Malfoy's lip was bleeding, but he continued to smirk.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Tonks yelled as Harry went for Malfoy again. "What the hell is going on?" Neither of the boys replied. The bell rang out in the corridor. "Off you go guys, she called over her shoulder. Then she lowered her tone. "You two, up to my office now!"
They did as they were told, Harry still breathing heavily out of anger. Tonks slammed the door behind them and went to her desk, though she didn't sit down.
"Does one of you want to tell me what just happened?" She asked after a pause. "Well?"
"He started it," Draco exclaimed.
"That's not what I asked." When they continued with their silence she sighed angrily. "Right, detention tonight for both of you."
"But I have Quidditch tonight," Draco protested.
"I don't care. You two make a scene in my lesson and it'll be the only time you do it, do I make myself clear?" Both boys nodded. "Good, then you'll be back here for six. Don't be late or I'll keep you longer!" she added as Malfoy headed straight for the door. Harry stared at Tonks in disbelief. "Go on, then." He turned on his heels and headed out of the door without giving her a second glance.
"Good, you're both here," Tonks said later that evening as she entered her classroom to find Malfoy and Harry sitting at opposite sides. She seemed a great deal chirpier than she had when they had last seen her. "Lemon sherbet?" She offered Harry an open bag. He looked at her.
"Who are you, Professor Dumbledore?" he asked cynically.
"Look, do you want one or not?"
"Yes, please," he muttered, helping himself. Draco shook his head when offered.
"Suit yourself," Tonk said, popping a sweet into her mouth. "Right, I'm not gonna lie to you, you two pissed me off today and I'm not having it. So you can say you're sorry to me and to each other."
"No way!" Malfoy and Harry argued simultaneously.
"He attacked you!"
"It was an accident, Harry."
"Tonks, he called you a freak!"
"You insulted my father!"
"And with good reason!" Harry yelled.
"Enough! You two must learn to resolve you're differences."
"Why?" Harry pressed. "He's related to a Death Eater!"
"And so am I," Tonks said quietly, shocking both of them. Draco shook his head and gave a laugh.
"You two have no idea what you are dealing with," he said bitterly. "You know Dora, Mum was right. You are on the wrong side of this war and you know it."
"You're out of line, Draco."
"I'm not saying it as a student, I'm saying it as family!"
"You're not her family," Harry muttered testily.
"Well you certainly aren't, Potter!" Malfoy spat. They glared at each other across the room. Tonks sighed and ran a hand across her scarlet eyes. She was tired and really couldn't be doing with two teenage boys staring daggers at each other. She told them so.
"I'm fed up. I give in. Argue all you want, I don't care. You're just wasting your own time. But you are not to even consider pulling another stunt like that in my class or you'll be very sorry, do you hear me?" They both nodded. "Good, well get going, the pair of you. Draco you might even make your Quidditch practice after all." He turned and left, quickly and quietly.
"As for you, Mr Potter. Please don't piss me off again because I really don't like my voice like this!" she squeaked and he laughed.
"I'm sorry Tonks," he said and she knew he meant it. "He just said some stuff about Sirius, I guess I just got carried away. It won't happen again. At least not in your lesson," he added. She sighed impatiently but grinned and batted him away with a hand.
"Go on, get." He helped himself to another lemon sherbet before disappearing out of the classroom.
Tonks was bored, very bored. She had heaps of marking to do, not that it really appealed to her. In fact, the closest she had gotten to starting it was picking up her pink felt tip pen and twirling it between her fingers. Discarding her pen, she decided to postpone the marking and got on her hands and knees in front of the fireplace in her office. She grabbed some Floo powder and threw it into the hearth, creating green flames.
"Ministry of Magic, Level 2, Auror Headquarters, Kingsley Shacklebolt's office." She managed to say the long destination with relative clarity, and then stuck her head into the fireplace.
"Hello, anyone there?" she called. She heard a scraping of a chair and Kingsley's bald head came into view.
"Well, hello there Professor Tonks, what can I do for you?" he asked in his deep voice. She laughed.
"I'm bored. What you up to? Pulling a late one I see." He gave a tired laugh
"I'm having to work for this pay rise, you know!"
"Well, if you find yourself with a spare moment or two, there's a pile of essays on my desk that need marking."
"I'll pass, if that's ok. Try Lupin, I'm sure he wouldn't say no." Tonks gave a laugh, and considered it for a brief moment before dismissing the suggestion.
"How is he? I miss him."
"He's doing ok. Quiet, but when isn't he? He's been spending quite a lot of time with Lady Thompson." This prompted a memory in Tonks' mind. She had quite forgotten about the new member of the Order. She shifted uncomfortably on the floor before continuing the topic of conversation.
"Oh yeah, I meant to ask you about her. What's she all about?"
"Lady? I don't really know. From what I've overheard between Dumbledore and Lupin she was once a well respected member of her party, a sort of werewolf society. Then, when the truth about Voldemort came out it split the group up and she was forced out. Can't really tell you much more than that. Dumbledore seems to trust her anyway… I take it you don't," he added, seeing her crinkle her nose. Tonks wasn't too sure about Lady Thompson; she hadn't been from the moment they had met. She didn't want to judge, it wasn't as if she knew the woman at all, she just seemed a little too keen to get in with the Order. Then there was the constant staring, which was enough to creep anybody out. Tonks shook her head and shrugged.
"I dunno, guess we'll just have to wait and see how good her intentions are." Kingsley gave a deep rumble of a laugh that caused ashes to rise in the fireplace.
"Your paranoia would make Moody proud. Constant vigilance and all that! Anyway, I'd best get back to work if I want to leave here before midnight. Thanks for the chat. I'll see you at the next meeting."
"Yeah, see ya," she replied as he disappeared. From her position on the floor, the mountain of marking loomed over her ominously from her desk. Her only relief was that it would soon be half term, and that she might even persuade Remus to help her after all. Part of her very much doubted this. She crossed the room tiredly and extinguished the lights as she exited, leaving the pile of parchment in the dark for another day.
A/N: This chapter didn't flow very well but the next one will be better I swear. It's been in the planning process since this fic began and will probably be my favourite so far. I'm still working on it though, I hope you enjoy it.
