Title: Click, Seconds, Restart.
Author: Ainahim
Rating: PG / K+
Summary: A character study of Miki, his thoughts one evening trying to keep track of himself and his schoolwork.
A/N: I always thought Miki was so complex and more than just the little innocent 13 year old boy most people pick him out to be (and a lot of people I know hate him and I don't know why) so I tried to get into his mind. I usually think about a lot of things when I shouldn't so I figured I should break his character down that way. I'm not sure, really, but I hope it worked somewhat. Sorry that this is such a random character study.
Click.
20 seconds.
Restart.
I find myself questioning innocence almost everyday. Innocence seems to be overrated and yet looked down upon. Most people who look at me and make conversation probably think that I'm the earthly incarnation of innocence.
But how can one be innocent after going through so much? How can one be so innocent if the one person the closest to them is practically the epitome of jealousy and sin?
Kozue and I, are we just Yin and Yang?
Click.
15 seconds.
Restart.
I'm so concentrated on schoolwork. I should stop. Yet on the other hand, haven't I been analyzing rather than doing work for my actual classes? This just isn't working.
You know, numbers are useful. They can explain so much with so little. There are whole worlds explain in just two numbers. The closest I can get is this counting clock in my hand.
Click.
10 seconds.
Restart.
I keep switching subjects on myself, and it's hard to keep track of what I'm trying to break down.
School will just have to wait. My mind is too jumbled to try to complete this.
With my eyes closed like this, I can hear the innocent melody of the piano that isn't really playing. I see us again. That's innocence. Am I still innocent if I miss that feeling? I haven't felt it for so long. I feel so ignorant right now. People usually associate ignorance with innocence, because innocence is for small children whose minds are open to anything. I'll never get it. I'm not as far gone as Kozue, that part should be clear. But just because of that fact…I'm not sure if that still makes me innocent.
She's trying to protect me, that's what she's been doing for so long, ever since we lost that feeling. She's hoping some of it will stay with me. She wants me to stay as innocent as I can.
Click.
30 seconds.
Restart.
I open my eyes and sit up again. It's time to face this schoolwork again.
The door clicks open. I can feel her walk in. I can smell the places she's been, keeping me away from everyone else, still trying to preserve me.
"I'm back, Miki."
I love my sister. I really do. Maybe being able to love her after everything she does makes me innocent after all.
"Welcome back."
Click.
5 seconds.
Restart.
