Ritual
By: Akira Asakura
Genre: Humor
Rating: T because Ed has to curse and slightly suggestive material is originally used, but you discover it actually portrays a different meaning.
Summary: A birds and the bees story with a strange twist. Faint EdWin and odd humor.
A/N: I can't say much besides please enjoy and review when you're done.
Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist. Go find another idiot to sue.
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Winry smiled widely, almost manically, and raised her right, index finger into an expression of stating a fact, or otherwise called a "matter-of-fact" proposition. "You see, dear, when you father and I get together with an idea or design, of sorts, and undergo a long, grueling process, we are given the end result of you. Now the details of the process go as so-."
"Winry, do we have to do this every time?" The "father", AKA Edward Elric, whined rather child-likely in front of the "end result".
"Yes, Edward, it is ritual." She glared with implied enthusiasm and much tension put into the fact that she had her wrench in hand.
"Oh, down with the damn ritual! Drown it and deep-fry it!"
She gasped, clinging to the "end result". "Don't you use such crude language in front of my baby!"
Edward glared, staring down at Winry and her "baby". "I'm so sorry you baby happens to be my automail leg," he drawled, emphasizing "my". "Now get the hell off!" He shook his leg rapidly. But finding no results to give way, he plucked the treasured wrench out of Winry's back pocket. And dragging the full weight of everything, FullMetal dangled the tool precariously over a boiling tub of liquefied metals.
"No!" Winry shouted, unclamping her arms from the fake limb and clamping her hands around the steel wrench.
Edward plopped back down on the examination table and shook his head. "I just wonder who the real father is, me or that damn wrench?"
-End-
