That same night I found myself at the Shepard family's house, I wasn't really in the mood to party but since Two bit had convinced both Soda and Steve to come, I decided to go. It wasn't like me to turn down a party anyways. As we walked in the living room a Rolling Stones record was playing and there were people everywhere, standing talking, sitting on the couch making out. It was wild, people were already drunk, dancing and screaming, I used to like wild parties as much as Soda but now I just felt out of place somehow. I think it was the thought I had earlier that day about feeling old that bugged me. I wanted to feel happy being at a party with my friends but nothing was the same anymore, I wasn't the same. I tried to convince myself I just needed to relax, but I wasn't buying it. I just felt low and kind of numb.

Soda was giddy like a schoolgirl, talking to everyone who happened to be in his way, laughing and flirting. As I looked at him I felt a pang of jealousy, Soda always seemed to end up alright whatever happened. Two bit and Steve had found some blondes and were all over them, maybe one of them was the girl Two bit had been talking about, well she looked nice enough.

I felt drunk, the room was spinning, all the voices seemed too loud, I felt stuck in a corner with all the people closing in on me. I needed a smoke and some air.

I went out on the porch sitting down on the stairs smoking. There were some greasers outside in the street arguing about something, I heard their yelling but couldn't make out what they were saying. All I could see in the dark were their silhouettes as fists started flying in the air. I heard them cursing each other out and then there was a scream, a scream filled with pain and fear. I saw three of them running away dragging one guy with them. The other three guys stood in the street catching their breaths and talking for a while, I could see one of them wiping a glimmering object of on his pants, and realized that the guy who had been dragged away had been stabbed. He could almost walk so it couldn't have been that bad tough, I hoped he was alright. I felt panic rush trough my body as I started thinking about Johnny, small timid Johnny who had killed a kid to save my brother. I could feel how scared he must have been realizing what he had done; I wished so much I could have been there for him, holding him, telling him he had made the right choice. But did he really make the right choice? Of course I was glad he helped Pony, he might have been drowned otherwise, but killing someone could never be right no matter what, could it? I didn't really know anymore, perhaps some situations justified it.

The greasers were walking towards the house now and as they came closer I could make out Shepard and two of his friends. Shepard's t-shirt was bloody as was his right hand. He didn't look hurt so I figured he had been the one who stabbed that guy. Theywere laughing crudely as they came up to me. Shepard stopped when he saw me and greeted me with a nod, as the others walked past me inside. He still had a wicked smile on his face, his lip split, blood trickling down his chin. I felt sick looking at him. He had just stabbed a guy and he was happy about it. I lowered my eyes to the grass in front of me, putting out my cigarette on the stairs as he walked past me.

I suddenly understood what Darry had meant, Shepard wasn't like our gang, Shepard was wild and dangerous and worse of all he liked it. The difference between a greaser and a hood was suddenly very clear to me.

This was my life, I was supposed to be used to fights with switchblades and other weapons, but since the death of that soc the mere thought of such a fight scared the shit out of me. To be honest just thinking of Shepard now scared the shit out of me as well.

It was getting cold sitting there so I went inside and grabbed a beer in the kitchen; I really needed to be drunk for real to get those pictures of Shepard's bloody t-shirt out of my mind. As I stood by the kitchen door drinking I looked over the crowd in the living room, it was wild. Girls dancing, couples making out, groups talking (more like screaming over the loud music) in a corner there were even a fight going on between Mark, a guy Pony knew who had really strange eyecolour, yellow, he looked like a lion in a cage, always looking for a way to get out, and some hood I recognized as being from Brumly.

I saw Soda dancing with a brown-haired girl I had never seen before, he looked happy. I was happy for him; he had been really down by that whole Sandy-thing. Didn't bother me tough, I never liked her that much, she was just too nice, too pretty, too much of everything. Soda needed a stabile girl who could keep him on the ground.

Two bit was nowhere to be seen, probably with that blond girl somewhere having fun.

Steve where in a corner arguing with Evie, she looked really pissed, must have seen him flirting with those blondes. Poor Steve.

I looked over the crowd once more searching for Two bit but instead my eyes fixed on Shepard, sitting on the couch with a blonde-haired girl in his lap, his tongue down her throat. It was like he felt me watching him, because he shifted the girl over so he could look at me over her shoulder. When his hard black eyes found mine he smiled at me, not that evil smirk of his but that wide grin that showed his teeth. I felt a pang of something I couldn't identify rush through my body, was it discomfort? No it couldn't be I felt perfectly at ease, all relaxed for once. Shepard was back to making out with that girl and I turned my gaze away, lightening up a cigarette.

"Hi Nora" I turned around to see Angela Shepard standing there, a lovely smile on her pretty doll-like face.

"Angela" I offered her a cigarette, lighting it for her.

"Your brother not with you?" she asked looking around her, her arms crossed.

"Depends on which one you are thinking about" I answered looking curiously at her face. She looked nervous, a twitch by the corner of her mouth. She turned her eyes at me now smiling that lovely smile again, all signs of nervousness gone.

"Pony" she answered simply her voice full of confidence. Her black eyes were hard as stone but her face was lit up by her smile. She reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, the prettiest girl around, her every look demanding. A real lady but a venomous one.

"No he ain´t here" I said seeing her confident smile being replaced by a frown. Of course that didn't ruin her good looks it only made her prettier.

"To bad for him" she said with a cruel smirk that reminded me of her brother "He's missing one hell of a party"

"Yeah" I answered knowing Pony wouldn't have appreciated this party that much.

Angela put the cigarette out with her foot on the carpet, shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

Soda came up to me with a devilish grin on his face, his eyes beaming. He dragged me out to the floor to dance with him. I never found out what happened to that brown-haired girl he had been dancing with before. Steve and Evie soon joined us and we had fun goofing around to the music passing a bottle of whiskey between us. Of course Soda did´nt drink from itbut me and Steve and Evie did.I liked Evie, she had been one of my best friends when we were younger, now she was just a classmate and Steve's girlfriend, but I still liked her and cared about her. Steve was my best friends next to my brothers tough; perhaps that's why I wasn't closer friends with Evie.

We were still singing and dancing on our way home, my heavy mood long gone and all thoughts of Shepard stabbing that guy stored away in the back of my mind, to be thought about later.

Hope you like it! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language so it´s quite difficult for me to write this the way I want it. Anyway read and review!