I stared up at my ceiling trying to lye completely still, my head hurt and I felt nauseated. I had been lying like that for hours since I had woke up, just trying to suppress the sick feeling in my stomach. I had only moved to run to the bathroom a few times to throw up. I hated being hung-over like this, I hardly ever were. This was the worst I had ever felt after drinking. Darry had been coming in to wake me up for school some hours ago but he just smiled and asked if the party had been fun and then he left and told me to stay home from school. He had always been good like that, never forcing us to do anything, he could be hard sometimes about going to school and things like that but he was good when we needed him to be. He knew when to let things be.
I had been going over the events of the night before over and over in my head and I was angry to say the least. I wasn't really angry at Tim. I was angry at myself, for ever thinking that I could mean anything to him, for wanting to mean something to him. I was pissed by the fact that he had been with me during the day and then went straight on to that stupid read head. I wanted to kill her, to wring her neck. But of course it wasn't her fault that she was beautiful and I just couldn't hate her for that however much I wanted to. I wondered how long they had known each other when I thought of the things Tim had said about her that day at the Dingo.
I wondered why he had helped me out with that cowboy, why hadn't he just stayed with the read head and let me work it out myself, not that I could have in my drunken state, but eventually Curly would have come back. And Curly was another story, why was he being so nice to me, I mean he had always been nice but in a flirtier, I-want-to-fuck-you way, not that I thought he meant it like that but that was just the way he were. But not anymore apparently.
I didn't remember all that much from that part of the night, not after I walked up to Curly. But I vaguely remembered talking to him, holding on to his arm for support, his soft laughter and his kind eyes as he looked at me. He was so different from his brother; I mean Curly was hard as nails too but in a kind and gentle way, not like Tim. I felt my heart contract as I thought of Tim, his cold eyes and wicked smile.
After talking to Curly I didn't remember anything until Tim was holding my hand and I was looking down at that cowboy, the feeling of his warm, strong hand in mine making me feel safe through the haze in my head. Then Curly came back and argued with Tim, it was something about me that I knew from the way he had been looking at me and the way Tim's hand squished mine, but I didn't get all of it. Strange however that Curly started to argue with Two bit when he was hollering at Tim, why was he angry with Tim and then on his side again two seconds later.
From the walk home all I remember was throwing up two times while Two bit stood at the side watching me.
I lied in bed hearing my brothers come home from school and work, hearing them walking around talking and laughing, while I felt my hangover subside little by little. When it was around six in the afternoon I felt good enough to get up. I needed some fresh air so I told Darry I was going out for awhile and then I left.
I walked around our neighbourhood for awhile but got bored and started to walk downtown. The houses on our side of town were really rundown, some worse then others. I wasn't giving any thoughts as to where I was going and soon found myself outside the Dingo. I stopped not knowing whether to go in or not, but when I realized I was being watched by Tim who was standing with his gang around some car I moved passed them as in a hurry, pretending I didn't see them. I sat down at the bar feeling someone's eyes boring holes in my back, I thought it was Tim.
"You ok now?" I heard a voice asked me from behind, it was too soft to be Tim's and when I turned my head to look I felt myself smile a little.
"Yeah…" I fingered nervously with my napkin "…look Curly…" he was smiling at me now, a wide smile, just like the ones Tim shows of so rarely "…thanks for helping me out" I looked up at his face, my eyes meeting his.
"No problem" he said putting his hand on mine gently, his hand was warm and rough against mine. "Tim can be a real ass sometimes" he added looking out the window, something in his eyes changing. I was surprised to hear him talk like that, he had always looked up to Tim, I had never heard him say anything about him that wasn't flattering. At least according to them.
"It's not his fault I can't hold my liquor" I said trying to lighten the mood, I didn't want Curly to feel sorry for me, I hated being pitied.
Curly looked at me curiously as I got down from the stool, a strange sinister smirk on his lips and then he reached over and stroke a lock of hair away from my eyes, tucking it behind my ear. He leaned his head closer to mine; his breath was hot against my face.
"You know, it's ok to be sad, I ain't gonna tell him" he whispered. I felt myself flinch slightly. How could he know I was sad, how could Curly Shepard of all people understand me, understand my pride.
I felt tears starting to well up my eyes and I quickly looked down at my shoes as I felt them run down my cheeks, not wanting him to see me cry. I heard Curly sigh and then I felt his arms around me, pulling me close to him. He held me tight for several minutes as I cried against his chest, soaking his black T-shirt. He didn't say a word; he didn't have to it was enough to have his warm arms around me and his strong chest to cry against.
Suddenly I felt Curly tense up and as I looked up I saw Tim standing just inside the entrance looking at us. His jaws were clenched, his eyes looked somehow bigger then usual, like big black pools. I wanted to throw myself in them and drown. Curly kept his arm around my shoulder but I felt his whole body tensing even more as Tim fixed his eyes on him. Tim didn't look mad or even upset and that made me want to throw up. He looked like he didn't care at all except for his clenched jaw line.
I fixed my eyes on the floor until I felt that I was being watched, when I looked up I met Tim's black eyes and I wanted to shoot myself. He was sad. Far beneath all that indifference and coldness I could see I small flicker of something, some emotion. I took that as I sign that he did care at least a little. But I didn't know whether it was me or his brother he cared about.
Just then his gang walked in and one of them throw an arm around his shoulder and said something, Tim tore his eyes away from mine and shrugged his shoulders walking over to a table with his friends. I turned around to face Curly who was staring after his brother, his eyes showing both defiance and worry, he looked pale and tense.
"You ok?" I asked him and I saw him relax slowly, his face gaining its usual colour.
"Sure" he said giving me a mild smile "You want me to walk you home?"
"Thanks" I said nodding and we walked out, his arm still around my shoulder. I felt Tim's eyes on my back as we walked out but I didn't turn around even though I longed to.
Thanks for all the reviews, I'm sorry it took so long to update, I've had much to do at the university the past few weeks. Hope you like it! Tack
