Here's the next chapter. Unfortunately this one doesn't seem to be getting the response Aftertaste is getting. For those of you who are reading both, what's your take on that? Why do you like Aftertaste better? Anyway, let me know because I am curious. I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy.

Six.

The Hangover from Hell

I feel like the worst person in the world right now. Honestly, I feel absolutely horrible. Even in the minutes I spent with Nathan on top of me, I knew this would happen in the back of my mind, but it just wasn't enough to pull me away. And that makes me feel terrible. Because in hindsight, I see how wrong it was, how wrong it is, but in the moment, I didn't really think it all the way through.

Which is weird since I usually overanalyze everything.

But seeing Taylor afterwards had made it all quite clear. She is my sister, she is my family, and I let her down. If she ever finds out, it will devastate her. Because Taylor trusts me more than she trusts anyone; I can see it in her eyes. We've had each other's backs since day one and last night, I broke that. She may not know it yet, but one day –for I know it will somehow come back to bite me in the ass – she's going to find out and she'll never look at me with as must trust as she once had.

That kills me.

"I'm okay, Haley…" I hear suddenly and I turn next to me in the car to see Taylor smiling halfheartedly "…if that's what you're worried about." She woke up with a smile on her face and though I know that it's fake, I respect the fact that she's trying to act unbothered. I told her we could ditch school today but she insisted on going, telling me that she wasn't going to let some boy ruin her life.

But we both know Nathan is not just some boy.

"Huh?" I ask in a far off voice, spacing out completely. Part of the reason I suggested skipping school was for Taylor, but the other part was because I didn't want to have to face Nathan either. It's kind of funny how we're both running from the same person.

Taylor just doesn't know it.

"You've got that look," she says, glancing over at me briefly and then focusing back on the road. "And I know you think I'm just putting up a front, but you're wrong…I'm fine, Hay."

"If you say so," I mumble and then turn to look out the window. Part of me is glad that she doesn't want to talk about it, if I was to console her I would feel like I was betraying her even more, lying even. Because how can I be there for her when I'm part of her problem? Of course, she doesn't know that…but I do.

It just feels so phony.

She parks the car near the front of the building and we both sort of sit there for a second, just staring off into space, probably thinking about the same person. I want to cry. I want to tell her what happened last night but I can't. She just trusts me so much and I want it to stay that way as long as possible.

"This feels weird," she admits, staring out the window but making no attempt to move. "I just feel so awkward."

"We'll be fine," I say and for some reason, she doesn't catch the slip up.

I think we both notice Nathan simultaneously because we both tense up at exactly the same time. Of course, our reasoning for such a reaction is totally different and mine is much more secretive than hers. He's talking to some guy in the senior class, but it's like he senses our eyes on him because he suddenly turns and then stops talking.

Taylor looks down at the steering wheel and I suddenly find the dashboard fascinating.

She looks over at me with pleading eyes and I know she wants me to tell her what to do. I shrug regretfully and I hear her let out a breath of frustrated air. As she turns off the ignition and starts to make her way out of the car, I look back up at him to find that he's still staring. His friend, oblivious to Nathan's sudden outs in the conversation, continues to talk. He looks over at Taylor, but she's looking anywhere but at him, rummaging through her backpack. Then he looks back at me and I feel the intensity of his eyes, the intensity that makes it clear to me a lot is running through his mind.

He's got that look.

But I can't read it and I can't look him in the eyes long enough to figure it out because I suddenly feel myself getting fidgety. He looks away and back at his friend, then continues on the conversation like nothing has happened.

Taylor scoffs.

"I can't believe he's not even going to say hi," she says. She's gone from sad and confused to angry in only seconds. "So what if we're not dating anymore? We were friends way before that." She looks over at me as she slips her shoulder bag on. "And what about you? Why is he ignoring you too?"

I hope she never finds out why.

I ponder using the 'maybe he didn't see us' line but it's so obvious that he did so I don't waste my time pretending. "Let's just go," I suggest finally, refusing to look back at Nathan as we walk down the hallway. I want to believe that the reason he didn't approach me was because Taylor was there, but I know better.

It's about last night.

Brooke and Peyton approach seconds after we start to walk to our lockers. They look a little confused to see Taylor by my side; I can tell by the looks they try to give each other subtly. Peyton smiles awkwardly. "Where's Nathan?" She asks and I can feel Taylor tense up beside me so I give her a reassuring smile.

"I don't know," she sighs in a small helpless voice, looking down. She glances over at me and then back over at Brooke and Peyton. "I think I'm going to head to my locker, it's the other way…" she points behind the two of them and then shrugs. "I'll see you all later."

I follow her with my eyes and sigh to myself, watching how broken she seems to be. It's all my fault and as if that wasn't enough, I had to go and make her hate me even more. She just doesn't know that she hates me yet. But when she finds out what I did, she will. Because even I would hate myself in this situation.

It's a crappy thing to do.

"What was that all about?" Brooke asks finally, both girls searching me for answers. "I mean, Nathan and Taylor are practically joined at the hip…is he not here today or something?"

I avoid eye contact. "They broke up last night," I say in an exhausted tone.

Their eyes widen simultaneously. "No way!" Brooke exclaims. "Are you serious?"

"I'm afraid so," I say, looking back over to watch Taylor as she walks past Nathan. He gives her a sad smile and she gives the same in return. I can see the tears just tugging at her eyes and I'm sure he can too because he looks more guilty than I've ever seen him. He looks over at me for a brief second but his face is stoic.

"How come?" Peyton asks and I turn back to meet their eyes. I can tell that both of them are somewhat excited and I figure it's because they think I can hook up with him now. They're trying to contain the excitement though, because they know how wrong it would be considering Taylor is my sister. "I mean, I honestly didn't see that one coming."

Part of me wants to tell them it's all my fault, that I kissed him the night before they broke up and then again after. But I can't because I don't want it to be any more real than it already is and if I tell them, it's like validation or something. "I don't know," I shrug, trying to sound genuinely confused.

The bell rings and Brooke rolls her eyes, announcing that she can't be late for first period because her teacher says he's going to drop her grade if she doesn't start showing up on time. Peyton, however, stands there staring at me after Brooke has left with concern in her eyes. I look away but try not to be obvious about it. "You're acting weird," Peyton says strangely, squinting a bit to get a good look at me. "You were acting weird yesterday too."

I shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine."

She nods. "Okay…" she says, but I can tell that she's totally unconvinced "…but if you change you're mind…I'm here."

I force a smile. "Thanks."

I don't remember a single thing I learned in the periods before Lunch. I wasn't paying any attention because all I could focus on was how much of a bad person I am. How could I treat Taylor that way? How could I treat myself that way? And why is Nathan ignoring me?

I walk out into the quad and spot Lucas and Brooke already sitting down. Brooke is laughing at something he's said that I guarantee wasn't even funny and he seems to be enjoying the attention. I force a smile when they notice me and then join them at the table. "Hey," Lucas greets and Brooke gives me a wink. "Did everything turn out okay last night?" He asks.

I shrug. "Not really," I answer honestly.

Brooke looks confused. "What happened?"

I smile falsely. "Nothing. Taylor was just a little upset." Of course, little is the understatement of the year but I don't need to go advertising Taylor's tears, especially when she has always been so ashamed of showing any sign of weakness. I see Brooke open her mouth to speak but thankfully Peyton swoops in and saves the day unknowingly.

She glances directly at me. "Hey, so I thought that I should report…Nathan is a mess. I passed by him in the hall and he was spacing out; just standing against his locker noticing absolutely nothing around him. Two girls were bitching at each other like two feet away from him and it was like he couldn't even hear them." She smiles sympathetically. "I guess this whole Taylor break up has really thrown him for a loop." She sighs. "Maybe you should talk to him."

"I can't," I say, averting my eyes.

Brooke frowns. "Haley, come on, I know you aren't on the best of terms right now…but it sounds like he needs a friend." She looks over at Lucas and then covers his ears with her hands before whispering, "Put aside your crush on him and be a good friend." I roll my eyes.

"What the hell was that for?" Lucas asks, looking up at Brooke.

She gives an innocent shrug and smiles.

"I can't, Brooke…" I snap, raising my voice a full notch "…I just…I can't."

Both girls look struck as I raise my voice and I sigh loudly, glancing around the quad. My eyes land on Nathan, who is coming in my direction until he sees me. Suddenly, he stops and then pivots around, walking back to where he had come from.

I feel tears stinging at my eyes and I look down so both girls can't see me. "I'm going to head to the bathroom," I whisper and then take off towards the building, walking as fast as I possibly can. It seems sort of dramatic, to be crying about this, but I can't help it. It's like, not only do I feel guilty as hell about all that has been going on, but now he has to go and turn on me too.

No pun intended.

When I enter the bathroom, I go directly to the sink and begin to splash my face with water. I look up when I hear the door open and through the mirror, I can see both Peyton and Brooke with concerned eyes. "Alright, Haley…" Peyton begins "…this has gone on long enough, tell me why you're acting weird and we'll leave you alone."

I let out a frustrated sigh and pull out a few paper towels before turning around to face them, leaning against the sink. "I'm okay…" I say.

"Yeah, well…the tears in your eyes beg to differ," Brooke says, raising an eyebrow. "I've never been one of those people that gives their friends space. You tell me what the hell is going on and I'll tell you how we're going to fix it."

Peyton locks the door and I laugh despite myself, dabbing at my eyes with the paper towel. I know that I need to tell them. I need to tell someone. Sure, they're probably going to judge me but at this point, if I don't confess, I'm going to end up isolating myself completely.

"You guys are going to hate me," I say, stepping closer to them. "You're going to think I'm a horrible person."

Brooke scoffs. "I could never think you're a bad person, Haley. No matter how bad you f uck up." I seriously doubt she would be saying that if it were her boyfriend I kissed, but I appreciate it.

I slide down onto the floor, using the wall as my back support. "Promise you won't judge me?" I ask quietly, looking up briefly but then straightening my eyes so that I'm staring at the other side of the bathroom.

Peyton kneels down in front of me. "Promise." Brooke nods.

"I kissed Nathan."

There's a deafening silence for a moment so I take this as my opportunity to reveal the entire story. "The night before they broke up, we were sitting in the living room and he was going on about how something was missing in his relationship with Taylor." I pause. "I don't even know how it happened but…he kissed me, and I didn't pull away." I lay my head down on my knees and stare into space. "Then after Taylor told me they broke up, I went over to his house to make sure it wasn't because of the kiss…and it happened again."

"You kissed him twice?" Brooke asks and I can hear the shock in her voice.

I look up at her helplessly and nod.

"That's…" Peyton starts, looking around as she tries to process it.

"Horrible? Pathetic? Whorish?" I ask.

"…complicated," she finishes. "Hales, I'm not going to lie to you…this isn't good."

I sob into my knees and nod profusely. "I don't know what to do."

I feel one of them rubbing my head and I look up to see it's Brooke. "It's going to be okay…" she says reassuringly.

"How?" I ask. "Taylor is going to hate me if she ever finds out."

"She won't hate you," Peyton says. "She's going to be mad…that's for sure…but I don't think Taylor could ever hate you." I hope that Peyton is right but there something that tells me she isn't.

It's Friday night when Taylor announces that she's going to go out and party. All week, she's been sitting around the house pretending to be okay. I know her well enough to know that she's not but I don't call her on it because selfishly, I just want this whole situation to go away. The house, however, is cleaner than ever because Taylor's obsession with cleaning when she is upset didn't fail me this time.

Nathan hasn't said a word to me since the night I went over to his house and it's been three days. I haven't really made an effort either but I feel like it's him that should come to me, since he's the one that left it the way he did.

There's a slim chance of that happening though.

"Come with me, Hay." Taylor says, sitting on the foot of my bed. "I need to get out and have fun but I won't have fun without you." She gives me her puppy dog eyes and sticks out her bottom lip. "Please…" she whines in the childish voice that used to work oh, so well on me when I was younger. "Mom and Dad are coming home tomorrow and God knows Mom is going to insist upon us staying home and having a family dinner." She puts quotations around family and rolls her eyes.

"I just want to stay home," I say, falling back onto my pillow. "I'm really tired." This, of course, is not entirely untruthful. It's been a long, exhausting week and despite my various invitations out with Brooke and Peyton, Lucas and now Taylor, I want to stay home, watch television and wallow in guilt.

"But Haley…" she protests.

"Please Taylor," I plead, laughing lightly at her childish antics. "Just let me stay home." I want to add something along the lines of 'I've had a really bad week' but I know that she will just counter with, 'it couldn't have been worse than mine' and to avoid telling her the reason why it was terrible, which tops hers by the way, I will have to simply give in. "I'm sorry."

She nods finally after realizing the puppy dog eyes don't work on me anymore. "Fine," she huffs and I know she's not really angry because she's sort of glaring playfully. "Then I'm wearing your black heels and your cashmere sweater." She begins rummaging through my closet before I can protest, even though I figure I at least owe her this and wouldn't think about protesting anyway.

"You're taking it to the dry cleaners!" I shout after her and I hear a genuine giggle as she slams the door exiting my room.

When I hear her peel out of the driveway at a speed that would make my mother have a heart attack, I get up from my bed and walk down the stairs, flopping down on the couch in front of the television. I feel like such a loser staying home on a Friday night but I'm sort of punishing myself for my kiss with Nathan. Sure, this is nowhere near what I owe her now but I figure it's sort of a step.

Right?

I've already watched two re runs of Full House, two of Friends and am currently in the middle of some Spanish Soap Opera that is surprisingly entertaining when there is a knock at the door. Brooke said she was going to drop by and say hello so I don't hesitate to go to the door and open it, even though I'm in my pajamas.

When I open it, however, I suddenly wish I had at least looked in the mirror.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying to look disinterested as I pick at the bowl of popcorn in my hand. "Don't you have some party to be at or some girl to f uck?"

"Was that entirely necessary?" Nathan asks, sighing. From the look of his outfit and the smell of his cologne, that for the record was a gift from me last Christmas, it's clear that he's on his way to a party or has just come from one. His hands are in his pockets and he looks kind of nervous so I assume he probably came to see if Taylor was around so he could apologize or something.

"Taylor isn't here," I say, neglecting to answer his question. "Come again soon." I begin to close the door in his face but stop in the middle. "Actually…" I say, with the bitchiest smile I can muster "…don't."

A girl can only be ignored and avoided so much before she cracks. I hope all you guys out there are taking notes on this one. When girls feel rejected, they either close up or put on a façade that comes off as bitchy.

Or sometimes both.

He stops the door from closing with his arm and then steps in, turning me around so that my back is now to the door and he is directly in front of me. "First of all, I'm not here for Taylor and second of all…" he gives me a puzzled expression "…What's with the attitude?"

I laugh in his face. "The attitude?" I ask, my hands folded across my chest in mock amusement. "At least I'm not ignoring you, right?"

He rubs the back of his head and looks around the house. "Okay, so I've kind of been an a ss for the last week but that's why I'm here…to make things right. I shouldn't ignore you just because of the whole Taylor situation…"

I scoff. "Oh, so that's why you're ignoring me? Because of Taylor?"

He closes his eyes, suddenly aware that I won't put up with his bull. "Not…exactly."

I roll my eyes at him and then pivot around to head back to the living room. "Get out of my house, Nathan."

"Haley…I'm sorry," he pleads, following after me. "I just figured it would be easier this way…and then we could settle things in private. I saw Taylor at the party I was at and I thought you might be home alone, so…" He smiles faintly when he's cornered me into facing him, giving me those sad eyes "…here I am."

"Yeah, well…too late," I say, ducking under him and sitting down on the couch, flipping the television back on.

"Better late than never," he counters, stepping in front of the television so I have to look at him. "We need to talk about the other night…" he says.

I turn off the television abruptly and then walk towards the kitchen, knowing full well that he's just going to follow me. This way though, I figure, I don't have to look him in the eye. He doesn't say anything either as we walk to the kitchen and I move over to the sink, cleaning a few dishes that Taylor missed.

I guess I've picked up Taylor's upset cleaning habits.

"I just don't get it…" I admit finally, turning around to face him but leaning against the counter. "You just, what, find me repulsive or something?" My voice is low but it's far from calm.

He rolls his eyes. "I don't find you repulsive, Haley," he says in disbelief. "Why the hell would you think I find you repulsive?"

I just roll my eyes as well and neglect to answer his question. "So then, what? I mean…I'm sorry that I'm not Taylor but…"

He cuts me off. "I don't want you to be," he screams back at me, so loud that it makes me visibly flinch.

I try to regain my composure though and hold my own in this conversation. "Are you sure about that, Nathan? Because…"

He's still yelling but his voice is a little softer than it was initially. "Haley, I pulled away because you're Taylor's sister…and you're like my sister. It would just be wrong and maybe you didn't realize it at the time, but I knew you would regret it later. I mean, you do, don't you?"

"Oh, so you did it for my sake, huh?" I scoff, my eyes in a fiery glare. "Well thank you oh dear protector you!" I clench my teeth. "What would I do without my knight in shining armor?" I roll my eyes. "Just admit it, Nathan…I'm not good enough for you. My hair isn't blonde enough, my boobs aren't big enough and I'm not as good of a lay. Just say it…it's what you're thinking."

"You're being totally irrational Haley; you just need to calm down!" He yells, taking a giant step closer.

"I'm not being irrational!" I yell at him, frustrated beyond belief. "There is no such thing as irrational feelings. We feel the way we feel, Nathan…we can't help it."

"I don't even know what we're talking about anymore!" He screams, his voice echoing throughout the room. "You're just screaming about nothing and I'm confused as hell."

"Well go be confused elsewhere," I snap in an angry whisper and then turn back around to finish up the dishes, my face a hot red from screaming.

He hasn't left yet, I don't hear any footsteps and I can hear his heavy breathing. Suddenly, his voice in a low whisper, he speaks. "I just came over to apologize, Haley…why are you so mad at me?"

I stop washing the dishes but don't bother to turn around. "Because you don't understand," I say. "And I'm starting to think you never will."

"Because you won't help me understand…" he says in a pleading voice.

"What the hell do you think I was just screaming about?" I say, turning around to face him quickly and staring at him with annoyance. "Were you seriously not listening?"

He takes a deep breath and sighs, looking away from me. "I better go."

I just watch him leave and make absolutely no move to stop him.