In response to Kagome's question Naraku arrived. He waltzed into the kitchen in his violet royal finery. "Kagura! I, Naraku, am here to bring you home!" Naraku glared at Kagura and she shrunk in the chair. Kagura liked chairs, she found they were easier to get up from than the floor. Mrs. Higurashi said "Naraku?" she rested a finger on her chin and looked at the ceiling. "Why does that name seem familiar?"
"Cuz he, Naraku's a freakin' jewel nabbing miasma makin' psycho!" screamed Inuyasha drawing his Tetsusaiga. He then jumped up on top of his chair and pointed a clawed finger at Naraku.
Mrs. Higurashi said "Inuyasha, your opinions of people are terribly strong. Naraku? I don't know your past too clearly, but you won't be judged in my home. Please, have a seat in this. It's called a chair." Mrs. Higurashi turned to Kagome and said "I'm really getting the hang of explaining the modern world to your friends, Kagome." Then she winked at her daughter.
Kagome was quick to say "He's not my friend! He tried to kill me!" She pointed at the amalgamation of evil sitting next to her.
"You said that about Lord Sesshomaru too! He turned out to be okay." Mrs. Higurashi put her hands on Naraku's shoulders and he chuckled evilly. "How come you can't look for the good in people Kagome? "
"Good? GOOD? NARAKU MEAN'S HELL MOM! HELL! HADES! THE ENTERNAL BURNING UNDERWORLD!" Kagome was losing her cool. "HE IS NARAKU MOM! NARAKUUUUU!"
Mrs. Higurashi said "Can't you at least admit he has lovely hair?"
Kagome didn't know how to argue with her mother. "Yeah, I guess…He does, doesn't he?"
Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were speechless. Sesshomaru realized he was the only one who had the power to do anything. Yet he also noticed Naraku had not demanded anything unreasonable.
Sesshomaru thought 'To hell with it. Naraku is going to pay!' "Lady Higurashi, I must insist that you expel him from this house. I would hate for your lovely home to become smeared with Naraku's insides after I pull them out. He is an impudent treacherous and dangerous creature who tries to convince himself he is a demon when in fact he is nothing short of a collection of malformed pieces of refuse." Sesshomaru stood and retrieved Tolkijin, as if from thin air. "Naraku, you have insulted my honor." With a harsh whisper Sesshomaru said " Now DIE!"
"WAIT!" screamed Mrs. Higurashi as she threw herself into Naraku's lap. "You cannot kill in my house! No spilling blood in my house! I will NOT allow it! Oh Lord Sesshomaru! I don't think I even know you anymore!" Mrs. Higurashi then burst into tears. "How could you be so heartless?"
Naraku saw his opportunity at rubbing the dog demon brothers the wrong way just for the hell of it. "Lady Higurashi? Is that your name?" Naraku said in a deep seductive voice. "I am Naraku." He put a cold hand around her to pretend to comfort her then he felt a little off balance. He slid right off the chair and crashed on the ground.
Mrs. Higurashi had caught herself before the fall and stood looking down at a dazed Naraku. "Oh my dear! Are you alright?" she asked helping him back onto the chair. She turned around to get a paper towel to wipe some dirt that got on to his face. Before she turned around again Naraku had once again fallen to the floor.
"God-damned contraptions!" Naraku stood suddenly and pointed at Inuyasha who was too busy laughing to attack Naraku. "You did something to my chair!"
Sesshomaru, perplexed by Naraku's inability to balance in the chair, was as always, expressionless. He said to Naraku "You will pay" just as Naraku clumsily slid off his chair again.
Mrs. Higurashi went to the refrigerator then pulled out trays of pre-made food. "Mom! Where'd all that food come from?" Kagome asked, surprised.
"Well, dear, the way Inuyasha eats, I figured that I might have to stock up. Your friends here don't seem too fond of peanut butter and jelly, so this is plan B." It was a plate of beef, and celery and carrot sticks. Mrs. Higurashi then pulled out a whole chicken.
Naraku was feeling that his opportunity to instill fear in the Higurashi household was slipping away. He also knew, by the glare he was receiving from Sesshomaru, that he had a limited amount of time to act. Then he fell off his chair again. "Urgh! I Naraku, have a sore ass!" he said to himself as he climbed back on the damned chair.
Everyone at the table laughed, as did Kagura, but from behind the safety of her fan. Naraku stood and Mrs. Higurashi ran to his side again. "Are you all right, Naraku dear?"
Kagome flailed her arms around and felt intense fear as her mother fussed over Naraku. Sesshomaru began to growl as the Lady Higurashi's hands dusted off Naraku's fine violet kimono. "Oh I just don't know what's wrong with that chair!" said Kagome's mom.
Inuyasha, choking on his laughter said "I don't haaaaaahahahaha think it's the chair! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I think it's just him!"
Mrs. Higurashi turned her head and scowled at Inuyasha who soon swallowed his laughter and crouched ever so slightly behind his growling and glaring older brother.
"I, Naraku, have had enough of this!" said the evil half demon. "I, Naraku, am here to collect Kagura!" Naraku floated up a foot off the ground. His hair then grew out from the roots and shot across the table wrapping around Kagura. He lifted her up out of her chair, but she hooked her feet to the underside of the table.
As Kagura struggled against Naraku's hair Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and threw her to the floor, shielding her from any stray attack with his body. Sesshomaru stood, and focused on his target with the Tolkijin. As he tried to think of something clever to say to Naraku about dying the Lady Higurashi jumped to the junk drawer and pulled out a pair of large silver scissors. She quickly cut through Narkau's hair and Kagura fell back in her chair.
"I think not young man!" said Kagome's mother as she scolded a floating Naraku. You may have nice hair but it doesn't give you any right to invade other people's bodies with it! If you so much as twitch those pretty locks again I'll cut them right off!" Kagome's mom wiggled a pair of large rusty scissors back and forth in front of Naraku's unbelieving face.
He settled back down into his chair, not sure what had just happened. Everyone settled back at the table, and so did Naraku who sat in utter shock. He looked to everyone else at the table, almost pleadingly and said in a slightly panicked voice "But, I am Naraku!" Everyone looked at him almost bored. "Right?" he said now unsure of his the sincerity of his wickedness.
Inuyasha picked at a chicken bone and said to Sesshomaru while sparing a glance at Naraku, "He just don't get, huh Fluffers?"
"No, he does not" responded Sesshomaru, ignoring his brother's new nick name for him. "Apparently he is unaware of the new situation he has placed himself in. He must learn to temper that charade of overgrown follicles or he will soon find himself without."
Naraku's eyes grew round and wide at the thought 'She can't cut off my locks! No! Not Mr. Softy Locks!' He glanced at Mrs. Higurashi through the corner of his eye and saw her still gripping the dreaded shears. She caught his eye and wiggled the scissors at him once more as a warning.
Naraku put his head down and placed his hands on his lap. "Yes, ma'am. I, Naraku hear your demands."
Kagura grew a new respect for Mrs. Higurashi and then had the thought 'Maybe she can help free me from Naraku's grasp!' She opened up her fan and hid her devious smile behind it. As she laughed deviously to herself she looked down to her right and saw Souta looking up at her. She did a double take when she saw the look in his eyes. "What are you staring at, little boy?"
The look in Souta's eyes went from dreamy to panicked and he said "Uh uh! Nothing!" and ran back into the living room."
Kagura went back to her fan and said "Twirp" under her breath. Kagura was bored. She was safe, but not free. 'Perhaps it is time to have a little fun, eh, Naraku?' "It's time to demonstrate some real power!" announced Kagura as she stood from the table.
Sesshomaru smirked predicting the result of Kagura's game. Inuyasha again jumped out of his seat and unleashed the Tetsusaiga. "Let's get to it!" he said. Kagome dropped her head into her hands and just groaned.
Mrs. Higurashi said pleasantly "Please, take this outside would you?"
Kagura foolishly turned to Mrs. Higurashi and said "Put a sock in it woman. I have no time for your sappy-happy-smile-o-rama. You can go back to making your sand-witch food or better yet….die where you're standing!"
Kagome dove under the table, Inuyasha quickly followed her. Sesshomaru stood to defend Lady Higurashi's honor and said "The Lady Higurashi will not tolerate such rudeness in her home, Kagura."
Kagura then turned her focus to the dashing lord and said "Really? And what of it Sesshomaru? Coming to her aid, I might think you care for her." Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at the wind sorceress. "Well, Sesshomaru? Do you care for this measly human woman?"
Naraku was entertained by this turn of events and sat back smirking to himself. Inuyasha and Kagome peeped their eyes over the table top to watch what was happening. Kagome's mom was still boiling with rage, but kept her mouth shut. Mrs. Higurashi was so angry she didn't know what she was going to do.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes and smiled to himself. "Hmf. Kagura, of the wind." He opened his eyes and "I detect a bit of jealousy in your voice."
Kagura scowled. She gripped her fan tightly and bared her teeth in a defensive sneer. "Jealous? Jealous of what? Why would I be interested in a man who can't take back his honor" spat Kagura, her voice seething with disgust. "I am in my right mind to ask" Kagura whipped up her hand and pointed at Mrs. Higurashi "this very human to help me!"
"Why I would never! After the way you insulted me! Why should I help you with anything?" said Kagome's mom.
Kagura turned and pulled a couple of jewel shards she was hiding from her kimono. "See these? I'll give you these. Help me. Free me from Naraku, and they're yours!"
"KAGRUA!" snapped Naraku. "How dare you plot against me, Naraku! Right in front of my very own eyes no less!"
"Shut up Naraku! Or face the WRATH OF LADY HIGURASHI!" Naraku was cautious and said nothing. "That's right, Naraku" continued Kagura "imagine Lady Higurashi with jewel shards! Who knows what would happen to Mr. Softy Locks then, hm?"
Inuyasha said "Mr. Softy Locks?" then he peered over to Naraku who was twisting a piece of his hair between his fingers and mumbling softly to himself.
"I, Naraku, don't have to…mumble grumble…don't worry Mr. Softy Locks..mummble."
Kagura turned her crimson eyes on Kagome's mother and asked "So? What say you woman? Will you help free me from Naraku?"
"No" said Mrs. Higurashi plainly. "I will not. I don't need those shiny rocks."
Kagome and Inuyasha jumped up from under the table. Kagome complained "MO-OOOOM! I collect those shards! Remember? It's why I'm always in the feudal era!"
"Well, Kagome, I don't want to take any fun away from you!" said her mother. "Now, why don't you and your little friends take this game outside? I've got dishes to clean and no time for playing."
Kagura grinned slyly, catching on quickly to what was occurring. "Sure thing, Lady Higurashi. I will gladly go outside to…" Kagura snickered "…play."
Inuyasha had just about enough. He leapt up into the air towards Kagura "Oh no you WON'T!" then crashed his Tetsusaiga down onto the table. Kagura leapt backwards and found herself standing on the countertop.
"You'll never escape my wind! Dance of—" Kagura never got her attack out. Naraku had seized the moment of her distraction and wrapped his hair around her struggling form. Naraku was pulling Kagura to him when he lost his balance and fell off his chair.
"No, wait!" said Naraku "I didn't fall off my chair this time—OWWWWWWW!" Mrs. Higurashi had grabbed Naraku by the ear and was dragging him out the door with Kagura struggling against his evil tresses.
Mrs. Higurashi said sternly "I told you in no uncertain terms I would not tolerate this behavior in my house!" As she dragged him away Naraku saw Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sesshomaru gawking at the spectacle. "You need to learn to respect your playmates, Naraku!"
"What are you gawking at—OW!" shouted Naraku.
Soon enough Mrs. Higurashi dragged him to the well and pushed Naraku back down, with Kagura screaming all the while.
Kagome and the two other feudal visitors rushed up behind her, impressed by the speed and strength she had executed the move with. Mrs. Higurashi dusted off her hands after she closed the doors to the shed that covered the well. "Well, Kagome, I hope your judgment concerning the friends you keep improves. He was an unpleasant character. That woman was quite a piece of work herself."
"MOM! You—That was Naraku! You—I can't…" Kagome stumbled over her words unsure of how to process what had just happened.
Sesshomaru stepped forward and kneeled. "I apologize milady, for I was of no use to you. My honor was diminished and I could do nothing to aid you."
Lady Higurashi put a hand on his armored shoulder and said "Oh, Lord Sesshomaru! I wouldn't expect you to get involved with some silly kids like them. Please let's all go inside and finish lunch!"
THE END
