A/n: well, if you are reading this, then that means that you've found my story, and picked it(yee haw!) This is a Harry Potter Fan fic (doh) It has a moving P.O.V. So yea, but it is mostly about Ginny (who happens to be my favorite character…) But the updates should come every two weeks (or sooner) So I really hope you come back for every chapter. Please don't harp on me about posting late (should it come to that) I promise that I have a legitimate reason, and it will be explained with the forthcoming chapter. Please (pretty please, with sugar on top…) Review I love reviews, they are practically the only reason I post anything on this site! So, yea I really hope you like it. Enjoy! Aimee
Sanity of the insane
Chapter One
Half a mind and half a thought
Ginny sat, her eyes closed, every pore drinking the soft, warm glow of the late-August sun. She was in the garden behind the tall crooked structure that she called home, with her small hands delicately laced with the large, rough ones of her current beau, Dean Thomas. She had been seeing him, despite her brother's obvious objection and aversion, for three months now, and she was pretty 'at ease' with their relationship thus far.
Dean was the 'strong, silent type', not saying much, nor objecting, which suited Ginny perfectly, as she was rather strong willed and defiant. But what she found most desirable about him was his reluctance to be desirable. The fact that he wasn't completely affectionate had drawn Ginny to him. She didn't feel compelled to love him, or to give him her heart; which she could never do, for it had been stolen years ago, by a boy (now a man) who neglected putting it to any use, but didn't give it back either.
Even with their 'content' relationship of passive aggression, Ginny could feel the tension in the air that day, thick and heavy pressing her lungs. She could see the end in his eyes; feel the vacillation in his kiss. Oh, yes, she knew that what they'd had, had dissolved into the humid air. Yet, even this knowledge, she didn't feel a sharp pain, or even sadness, and knew she never would. Which meant, of course, she would feign the heartbreak, for more of Dean's satisfaction than her own, to make him think she couldn't live with out him. But all through the façade, she would be thinking of her true heart, and where it lay, truly broken for far too long, in the forgotten pit of Harry's soul.
She reached up to stroke his cheeks with her soft hands, smiling at him in a way that she knew he would like, and ever so sweetly pressed on the tension between them.
"Dean? What's wrong, you seem so... distant today…" she pouted with her eyes, and tilted her head like she imagined Scarlet O'Hara (the heroine in a book of Hermione's she'd read) might do.
"What? Oh, Ginny, I'm sorry, it's just... I... we need to talk" He sat up straight dropping her hands to wipe the clamminess from his own.
"What is it?" Mock anticipation and concern twisted her soft features. "Have I, I mean, is it me?"
"Ginny," he took her hands again, "I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there..."( A/n: gotta love that Relient K, well i suppose you don't have too, but i do.)
"So that..." Ginny called forth the tears she had been accumulating, "that's it? It over?" her lips trembled, and her face colored.
"Ginny, I know, it seems sudden right now, but think back, you must have seen this coming. I don't know, maybe it was just me, but we never got very close, at least not like I wanted to… That's why we have to end it… Don't you see?" He dropped her hands, which she raised to cover her face.
"O.k. Dean, fine..." Ginny mumbled into her hands, "But I think you should leave now."
"Ginny, it doesn't have to be like this… We can still be friends—"
"Friends, yea sure, but right now, I just need to think…"
"O.k. I'll see you in a week. 'Bye Ginny"
When she looked up again, he was gone. With a sigh, she wiped her eyes and gathered the glasses they'd been drinking from. She thought she should be congratulated on her star performance of tears and sorrow. But now that it was over, she felt relief, and a slight smile was flirting with her lips.
"Look at them… All cozy down there on that bench. It's disgusting! She's only fifteen! I have half a mind to—"
"That's just it Ron," Hermione interrupted him from across the room, "you've only half a mind, so you shouldn't strain yourself. Let Ginny do as she likes, she is fifteen, only a year younger than yourself. Give it a rest!"
Ron reddened with silent fury, and stared out the window, ignoring the sniggers from Harry, who was toying with a nicked snitch on his cot by the opposite wall.
"Wait, what's--- he's standing… now he's, wow, he's leaving. Do you think well, maybe they've broken up?!" Ron's eyes shone with hope and happiness at his last words.
"You are completely hopeless, Ronald" A/n: sorry, I know J.K. doesn't let 'Mione call him 'Ronald', but she did in the movie, and I quite liked it.. "Leave the poor girl in peace!" Hermione scoffed, tucking her book under her arm, preparing to leave. "You've done nothing but spy on her and read her mail all summer, and its preposterous! Besides," she stood, causing Crookshanks to fall to the floor clumsily, "She'll be more apt to stay with him if she knows that it upsets you, that's the rebellion in her." And with that, she was gone, with her bandy legged cat sauntering after her.
"Girls!" Ron huffed, stalking over to his bed. "They say one thing, and they mean something completely different! They expect us to know what they want and what they mean, and we haven't got the slightest clue! Like that nutter Cho, she went about blubbering and crying all last year, while you were just trying to have a decent, quiet date with her!" He punched his pillow and lay back on his bed, his face red.
"Maybe," Harry mumbled thoughtfully, not taking his eyes off the snitch, "we're not supposed to know, that's the difference, between girls and guys, and it puts the mystery in life. It makes things interesting, and a bit fun and confusing and stuff. Besides, Cho is a terrible example, she was a bit over dramatic, or something of the sort…" he trailed off, letting the snitch zoom a few inches further away before snatching it out of the air.
It was silent for a few moments when Ron suddenly burst out with an "It's not fair!" tyrant, which startled Harry, causing him to fall off the cot, with the snitch zipping consequently out the door. Grumbling under his breath Harry jumped up from the ground and ran after it out the door.
Creeping down the hallway, Harry looked every which way for that oh so familiar glint of gold, which he spotted at the end of the hall, slipping into the kitchen through the open door.
Harry walked into the kitchen, easing the door open, then shutting it quickly behind him. He turned to face the room at large, to look for the snitch, and saw Ginny and Mrs.Weasley staring at him from where they sat. He held his finger to his lip briefly, and looked around. There it was, hovering, unnoticed, beside Ginny's ear. He was surprised she didn't see it, for she had been the Gryffindor Seeker the previous year, but didn't dwell on the thought. He walked carefully over, until he was standing right beside her, close enough to feel her energy radiating. Measuring his movements his hand darted out and snatched at the snitch.
At that moment two things happened, the first was the snitch whizzing the other direction, the second was Harry's over balance, which landed him, quite squarely, in Ginny's lap.
Startled, Ginny yelped, "Harry! What are you.."
Harry clapped his hand over her mouth before she could finish, and pointed at the snitch which was now hovering just above her.
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" and with a simple, fluid movement, her arm shot out and snatched it out of the air. She smacked it in his hand. "Now get off me! I can't feel my feet, you lummox!"
Ginny and her mother had been discussing her (now terminated) relationship with Dean, when Harry had stealthily crept in. She'd known he was coming, because a few moments before, his little toy snitch had flown in, and was now hovering noiselessly beside her left ear.
She watched him walk up beside her, and felt small shivers of.. of.. well she wasn't sure exactly what the shivers were from, but they felt nice, like butterflies. She wasn't even really surprised when he fell in her lap, but what did surprise her was the harshness and severity in her voice.
Once she'd given him the snitch, the words that seeped through her lips were like an icy blast in the warm air. Yet, even as she realized it, they didn't warm up. Harry took the snitch though, and maybe it was her imagination, but for a fleeting moment, Ginny thought she saw hurt and betrayal in Harry's eyes, but when she blinked he was gone, walking out of the kitchen, closing the door behind him.
Ginny turned back to her mother on the pretense of continuing their conversation, but stopped short at the stern glare her mother now donned. The Weasley woman temper was flared, and now Ginny knew that she wouldn't escape with out a fight.
"Ginny, what was that? That there, with Harry? Why were you so cross with him? What did he do to you? Answer me!" Mrs. Weasley demanded crossly.
"What mother, is it a sin now for me to be cross? I've had a hard day, give me a break!" she pulled her cup towards her and sipped her tea.
"Ginevra Weasley, don't your dare take that tone with me! I know you've had a stressing day, but think of how Harry feels. He's just lost Sirius, and he feel's it is entirely his fault." The harsh edge removed itself from Mrs. Weasley's voice. "Ginny, just think before you speak."
Ginny rolled her eyes and pushed her tea away. "I'm going to my room mum; call me down when dinner is prepared."
Once securely in her room, Ginny kicked the wall. It wasn't fair! So what! Harry had had a hard life, but he wasn't the only one in the world! She wasn't the one who was ruining his life, he was ruining hers. In her silent fury, she had neglected to see that Hermione was sitting on her bed, tears streaming down her face, even though she looked happy.
"Hermione? What's wrong?" Ginny rushed over to her friend's aid.
"Wrong? Oh, no Ginny, its GREAT! I am so happy! Guess what, our O.W.L. results have returned, and I got it, I got the perfect score. Oh, I can't believe it!" Hermione was positively glowing with the happiness she was feeling.
Ginny smiled at her, "That's great Hermione, really great. I'm so happy for you! I wonder what Ron and Harry got…"
Hermione's eyes got wide, "Oh, I'd forgotten… I'm going to go see…" She dashed out of the room.
Ginny smiled, her previous anger forgotten, and she crossed to her desk where her Hogwarts letter sat waiting for her. With boredom she broke the seal, and pulled out her letter… and a shiny red and gold badge. She had been made a prefect. She smiled and dashed off down the stairs, she knew exactly what she wanted.
Ron groaned as he slid out his letter from Hogwarts. He'd been dreading this moment for the entire summer. He cautiously held it like it was made of glass, not wanting to break down the grades farther. He was tenderly opening it when Hermione ran in with her letter clutched in her hand, and he was so startled (which, really he should have expected her) he dropped the letter which floated over and landed at her feet.
"Oh, are these your scores Ron? Let me see. Well, that's not too bad, now is it." She smiled and handed him the paper.
"Hermione! Why do you always do that?" Ron demanded hotly.
"Oh honestly Ronald, do what?" She smiled and sat on the edge of his bed.
"This, I mean, I didn't even look at my scores and you go tearing through here, looking at them first! It's not fair! I may not have wanted you to know!" Ron huffed, and then looked at his scored, visibly brightening as he read. "Hey, this isn't bad, at all I got two O's even, in Defense against the Dark arts, that'll be because of you Harry, and in, can you believe it, transfiguration. And all the rest are A's, well, unless you count divination, I got a 'D', hey, who saw that coming, ha-ha. So, Harry, how'd you do?" Ron talked himself out and turned to Harry who was examining his own scores.
"Huh? Oh, well, listen to this:
Transfiguration: O
Potions: O (that'll be because Snape wasn't in charge)
Divination: P
Defense against the dark arts: O
Charms: O
Astronomy: A
Herbology: O
Care of Magical Creatures: O
I think I've done rather well… what'd you get Hermione? The usual perfect?" Harry folded the letter and placed it by his trunk, a sly smirk on his face.
Hermione colored. "I resent that Harry! I got all O's, yes, but they could have be O, and I am by no means perfect. I won't even begin to justify myself though. I've got to go get ready. We're going to Diagon Alley today, and I've still not written to mum. Harry, do you think I could…"
"Take her. She has taken to sleeping in the cupboard in the kitchen, she should be there." Harry picked his letter back up to peruse it.
"Thanks Harry, you're the best!" Hermione scuffled out of the room quickly, in pursuit of Hedwig.
Harry sat on his cot for a while, stroking his chin, looking at the letter in his hands, then he looked up at Ron.
"Hey, er, I've had an idea. I was wondering, I mean, what would you think if I said that the idea to be a teacher had crossed my mind?" Harry asked Ron, trying to sound casual, even though he wasn't. He'd more than thought about being a teacher, he was to the point of an actual longing to teach. He wasn't sure what had evoked these feelings in him, but one day, he decided he didn't really want to be an Auror, but rather to teach children defense against the dark arts, than to spend his entire life fighting it. Some how it felt like it served the cause in a more broad sense.
Ron looked up at him. "Harry. A teacher? A teacher? Like, McGonagall or.. or Snape?! You've got to be joking right…?"
"Er, um, yea, I was joking…" Harry tried to sound convincing as he turned back to his letter.
"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry mate. I thought you were kidding. But seriously teaching is an alright job. I mean, you did alright with the D.A. and all. But I thought you wanted to be an auror..?" Ron stumbled to fix his insensitivity.
"Yea, I did, but see, if I am an Auror, I can only fight one person at a time, but if I teach students to fight it, then I am really doing much more for the cause. Besides, I don't need to be an Auror to fight Voldemort… oh, um, about your problem with his name, well, he's definitely back now, so why should you be afraid of saying his name." Harry looked down at his letter. "Oh, look there, you've been made a prefect this year…again..."
Ron was slightly red around the ears for being scolded, but recovered quickly. "Yea, figures..."
"What? But I thought you said it was easy and all of that." Harryeyed the badge in Ron's hand, with some unchecked emotion on his face.
"Ha, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Hermio— Oh! Hi Hermione!" Ron quickly changed his train of thought as Hermione walked in the room.
Eyeing Ron suspiciously, Hermione sat down. "Hello Ronald. Ginny's been made prefect, you're mother is getting her.. what ever it is she wants today in Diagon Alley. But she isn't telling me what it is. And I'm a bit afraid, because well, she is a bit like Fred and George.." She trailed off as she lost thread of what to say. "So, what are you two up to?"
"Harry reckons he wants to be a teacher. AndI'm this year's Gryffindor Prefect…" Ron opened a chocolate frog and popped it in his mouth. "Ah, I got Dumbledore again…"
Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Harry, "Oh, that's wonderful Harry. So much more sensible than being an Auror. I've even thought of being a teacher, if a teacher quits or something.. You know that you'll need to take Triple Newt level courses in the class you plan to teach, and Newt level Herbology, and Potions, and Charms, and Muggle Studies. You're plate will be pretty full."
Harry groaned, "If you're going to hang onto me about homework this year, I think I've changed my mind!"
later that day……
Returning from Diagon Alley, Ginny ran in the door before every one else, and in her hands, she held a rattling and shaking box, which sported holes in the lid……
TBC……
A/N: So there it is I guess, I really hope you enjoyed it, and I hope even more that you Review now! Reviews make the world go 'round! Yee haw…
Aimee
