Had it been only a year since he had gone? Since she had married after his death? It couldn't be, could it? Maybe... It doesn't seem that long though...the pain is still fresh, the feelings for him still raw, and yet...dull.
"Lady Kagome?"
"Yes Sango?" said a quiet feminine voice.
"The Lord wishes to see you Lady..."
"I suppose he does... I will be there soon..." was all she said before, lightly waving her hand, dismissing one of the servants...
Getting up slowly, quietly she walked over to her mirror, and examined herself patiently, she looked the same. Her hair had grown longer, and her body had matured more...she still looked the same though, or she so desperately tried to believe. Closing her eyes, she imagined the days when she was still her.
"Is that supposed to comfort me? came a gruff voice, a voice that hid volumes of pain.
"No...not really." was all she said back to him, smiling slightly. "I suppose I justed wanted to let you know, that there is light, even in the moonless nights. See how the stars still shine? They are shining for us. Helping us see through the dark when our faithless companion has left us."
"You really are weird." came his voice again. And this time, both of them broke out into soft chuckles.
"Atleast it can make you smile..." were her whispered words to herself, as she studied his laughing face some more.
Shaking her head of such thoughts she turned away from her mirror, and walked towards her door, she waited a few moments though, collecting herself she supposed, before throwing it open and walking gracefully down the hall. She held her head high, though her eyes were always cast downwards, and mae her way through the regal doors of the study, not saying a word to catch her husbands attetion.
"You may sit my dear." came his smooth voice, as he read through a book not even looking up.
"I do not wish to stay long."
He chuckled softly before replying, "Do you still dwell upon him? Dear, he is not here as you can see, and I am. You loved him in the past, and you should love me now." His voice held no resentment, only patience and slight sorrow. The sorrow was little though, and the patience she could tell was growing thin.
"I cannot make myself stop loving him, if that is what you wish."
"No I suppose you cannot." he said thoughtfully.
"What did you call me here for then?" she said in a bored tone.
"I just wished to see how my wife was fairing today."
"I am fairing fine, may I leave now?"
"Why do you hate me so? I only did what was best...it was best for everybody..."
"You've said that too many times for it to be true." came her quiet sad voice, her wall of anger slowly breaking down, and showing things that she felt others should not see. She turned and left then, not wanting to hear any more words of her loves death, not wanting to hear her husband trying to convince her to forget about her past.
"Sometimes I wish I could forget..." was all he said to her, the anger in his voice dissapearing.
"But if we forget, then what do we know? What do we have? Nothing..."
"Nothing seems nice right about now."
"Go on then. You may as well die right now if you want to feel nothing." she tried to make her voice sound like she didn't care, even though inside she did.
"Would you missed me if I died Kagome?"
"Yes." came her quiet reply.
A quiet sob escaped her mouth, and she quickly stifled it, placing a hand over it, looking around to make sure no one was near. Why? Why did he have to live such a sad life? Silently she opened her door, and stepped in, making sure she had all the privacy she needed.
"Why?" came her soft whisper. "Why couldn't he have been happy?" she was sliding down her door now, softly sobbing to herself, memories flashing before her closed burning eyes.
"What the hell do you care! I'm a nothing, a nobody!"
"You are a warrior! You are a general! A leader! But most of all...you are a man...something that not very many can say for themselves..." she said her voice starting out loud and raging, then slowly it became quiet ,sincere.
"A man, holds no rage."
"Neither do you...you hold revenge."
--
"Its funny how fate can play around with us isn't it InuYasha?" she said staring at his profile, from behind the iron bars.
"Yes...hilarious."
"I will set you free some day...and you will see, that though fate can laugh at us, we can laugh right back."
"Will we laugh together?" he asked, turning to her, his eyes shining softly.
"I fear you will laugh before I." and that was all she said before she stood and left.
--
"Is that what you are now! A whore! Telling men what they like to hear! Making them believe something, dangling them from a stick! You decietful little harlet!" his voice was full of rage as he struck her. His hand coming down hard upon her face. She fell to the floor with a thud, hanging her head in shame not even trying to comfort her stinging cheek.
"My Lord..." came a shaking voice.
"Leave us!"
"But!"
"I said leave!" came his voice, as he loomed closer to her crumpled body, threatening to strike her again.
"KOGA!" came the booming voice of an aged man. "Is that anyway to treat your fiancee?"
"No father...I suppose not. Get out of my sight... I'll deal with you later..." she got up quickly and ran away, she ran to him. To her InuYasha.
--
"What did he do!" he screamed, noticing the forming bruise upon her face.
"He struck me." she said calmly.
"What for!" he grabbed the iron bars then, trying so desperately to hold her again.
"For loving you." everything was quiet then, as tears ran down her cheeks, as he gently caressed her face, as they got lost in each others presence.
"Too many memories...too many..." she sobbed, her voice filled with pain, agony, both so great they could kill.
" Slowly she crawled over to her bed, and climbed in, trying to find comfort in the soft pillows, and down comforters. Closing her eyes she soon fell asleep, ignoring the conflicting thoughts inside her head.
Next Day
Koga,
this is my goodbye. I suppose I'm not being very suttle, but neither has our marriage... I can no longer be here...in this place, in this house. I can no longer be with you, so I left. You'll see me again do not worry... it may take a while to find me, but trust me I'm not hiding. I'll give you a hint, seeing as you won't be able to catch me in time anyways. I'm where I was the night I lost myself, where you found us.
Goodbye husband,
Kagome.-
"What rubbish is this!" he roared, knowing full well what she planned to do. "Why did no one stop her! Why!" he was screaming at the top of his lungs, and then he fell to his knees. "Why?" was all he could say quietly then, as onlookers stared.
With Kagome
Quietly stepping upon the slightly mushy ground, she continued on, smiling softly. The forest seemed peaceful, as if it knew what she was doing was the right thing, and she thanked every living creature there in her head for being so understanding. Walking a little faster now, she came upon a deep raging river, surrounded by beautiful willow trees and an eerie light. She stopped just before the bank, and let her white gown fall from her hands, the edges now touching the ground getting stained, and damp. It wouldn't matter though, cause it was in that moment that she stepped into the river. The rapids, claimed her instantly it seemed, and soon she found peace, gently inhaling the water, her lungs filling, and her mind soon going blank. She would be with him soon, and she would meet the family he so desperately fought to avenge.
Ok its really crappy I know, but I had the idea and it wouldn't leave me alone. Please tell me what you think and be brutally honest. Trust me I can handle it.
