A/n: clapsies I did it I did it! Honestly, though, it was all because of a simple little review, see this person, Qogmel, reviewed my story, so I went ant reviewed theirs, and in a review I wrote this little suggestion, etc. for elaboration, and it broke my writer's block in half. So, even though you didn't know Qogmel, you helped me lots. Cheers. Also, I still really need a beta (if any of you don't know what that is, it is a person who reads your chapters before you upload them, and makes suggestions about the plot, order of events, or even more events to add to the chapter, etc, to help the author out, basically an editor). If any one would be interested in being my beta, please email me at, and that would be great and I would be forever greatful, now if any one would like my assistance as a beta, that would be totally cool too. I've now found that editing other's story's helps me with my own, breaking my writers block. So if your interested if that, email me as well. Thanks, and here's the chapter. Please review! Enjoy!
Sanity of the Insane
Chapter four
Rendezvous With Destiny
"Lily. I've been waiting for you."
The icy words erupted in Ginny's head, as though she'd thought them, rather than heard them come from the tall figure before her.
"My name is not Lily," her voice echoed out. "I'm Gi—"
"Lily, now that you've decided to join my ranks, we will rule together over this vast miserable world." The figure turned to her, but she couldn't see it's face, for the hood it wore cast everything about it into shadow.
"Who are you? And why do you keep calling me Lily? My name is-"
"Lily," came the singsong reply, high and chilling. "It's me. It's Tom." Ever so slowly, thin, white, long-fingered hands reached up to remove the hood.
Ginny gasped. "T-Tom? No." Ginny felt her lungs deflating as she backed up against the wall.
"Come Lily. Join me, and reign over all of the wizarding world as their queen."
"Stop. No, I'm not Lily; you've got the wrong person! My name is. My name is." Ginny was struggling to stay focused, gasping for air as the energy flowed from her freely. "No. I. Stop it I. My name is… GINNY!"
Ginny sat bolt upright in her four poster bed, shouting her own name. Cold sweat drenched her dressing gown, and her face. She shuddered remembering the pallid serpentine face from her never relinquishing past. But what was Tom Riddle doing in her dreams now? She hadn't seen him for nearly four years now. And who was Lily, why did that name rouse something in her memory?
Reluctantly resigning to the fact that she wouldn't be able to doze off again, she slipped from between the quilts that lined her bed, and crept past the sleeping girls, into the common room, which she was surprised to see, wasn't empty. Sitting on a squishy armchair before the roaring orange fire, was none other than Harry himself. Ginny sat there a moment, just gazing at him. He appeared to be lost in deep though, his face screwed up, and his chin propped on his folded hands.
Ginny sighed and walked over, and sat in the armchair beside his.
"So," the sound of her voice made him jump and look around, "what brings you out here? Is it the daunting task that dreams lay upon us all, or just insomnia?"
Harry shrugged and looked into the fire.
"Both I guess. You?"
"Dreams. I seem to be all but plagued with them lately. It's awful. I even had one about—" Ginny had been about to say 'you' but stopped her self and finished lamely, "well, I've had them about lots of things."
"Yes. I know how that is. Every year a new recurring dream enters my life, last year it was relentless dark halls, and this its always…" He paused, closing his brilliant green eyes, "it's always about Sirius. I always, see him, falling into that damned veil, and as he falls, he shouts at me, well, I think it's at me, but he yells my fathers name."
Ginny nodded sympathetically; not entirely sure how to interpret Harry's sharing of what was obviously an intimate thing to him.
"That must be awful. I had a similar type thing after Alfred died. Always seeing him falling off that broom, yelling 'Ginners!', that's what he always called me. But that was years ago…" She trailed off and looked away, feeling her eyes sting for a moment.
Harry looked at her.
"Alfred? Who was that?" He looked at her quizzically.
"Ron never told you? I can't believe Ron didn't tell you. He was our older brother. A year older than Ron, and a year younger than the twins. When he was just seven, he got his first broom, and he was amazing, always flying. Well one day, all the boys were out racing around in a fun match of Quidditch, out behind the burrow and a horrid storm blew in. Before any one could say or do anything, Alfy was knocked down out of the air, destined to land on the fence that used to surround the burrow. It was awful." Ginny's voice caught in her throat, and she stared into the fire, eyes shining with tears.
Harry reached out awkwardly to touch her arm.
"Ginny. It's o.k. I, wow, Ron never said anything."
A thrill shot through Ginny at the touch of Harry's hand, and she patted it gently with her own.
"No, he took it really hard, they were extremely close. He didn't even talk for a year, hardly ate, we were real worried, then one day, he was chipper again, bopped down the stairs whistling a merry tune and smiling at every one. No one questioned it, we were just glad to get one brother back. That's when he started being ridiculously over protective of me." Ginny sighed. "That's why I let him, sometimes."
Harry sat, staring at his hand, which was covered by her hand for a moment, then came to his senses and pulled it respectfully away.
"That's, wow, I can't believe I've known you lot for six years now, and I still didn't know. I'm so sorry."
"I'm o.k. That was ten years ago now," she smiled at him briefly to show the truth-value of her words, "but Harry," a serious, concerned look crossed over her face, "it really wasn't your fault."
Caught off-guard, Harry faltered. "W-what? About Alfred?"
"No, about Sirius. There was nothing you could do, nothing anyone could do. If you want to lay blame, we all deserve an equal share, we were all there. It really wasn't your fault."
Harry nodded and looked away.
"Maybe, but maybe not. I could have, I should have just looked in my trunk, there were all the answers there, in a mirror!" Harry's voice cracked slightly, and Ginny was certain he was on the verge of tears. "But, I decided to listen to that damned Kreacher. I should have known better. If I hadn't been so… sure of myself and my dreams and visions, I would have known better, and I would still have Sirius today." Harry wiped a quick hand across his cheeks.
"Harry. Don't do that. Don't you do that. There are so many times when we lose a loved one that we can blame ourselves, and ponder the 'what ifs', but that's not wise. Everything happens for a reason Harry, and that's what you've got to have faith in. Isn't faith believing, that all power can't be seen? That even if you don't see the good, that it is always there. So don't you sit there and let yourself waste away. You're too good for that. It wasn't your fault Harry you must believe that."
Harry met Ginny's eyes, eyes that held a ferocity even too much for him, and he knew that she was serious, and that she, if no one else, believed that he was innocent, and that it wasn't his fault.
"Thank…" Harry croaked, coughed, and started again, "Thank you Ginny, you don't know how much it means to hear you say that. True thanks go out to you, from the bottom of my heart." His eyes reeked of sincerity, "You—"
"My, my, en't you two lookin' cozy?"
The pair jumped and looked around, to see Mundungus's head in the fire.
"I was only jokin' mates. I was actually hoping to catch one of you lot out so early. Glad I did, cause I am in a right spot right now, y'see, I got me these lizards, their tiny little blokes, and I need a place to stash them-"
In unison, Harry and Ginny both said a stern "NO!"
"Ah, c'mon you two, it would only before a week, or a month or so… You didn't even let me make a proper offering for your troubles. Please…"
Ginny sighed, and spoke loudly, drowning out Mundungus, "I don't know about you Harry, but I am going to go back to my dormitory to prepare for today's lessons, I hear O.W.L. year is a real stinker." She stood and stretched, looking out a window at the fiery beams of sunlight that were reflecting off the lake.
"Er, it was really great talking to you Ginny. It, ah, really helped me. I think I'm going to go too, GOOD BYE MUNDUNGUS."
The two quickly scurried away to their respective dormitory, leaving Mundungus to talk to himself.
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When Ginny got to her dorm, she sat on her bed, clutching her chest, a quite giddy grin on her face. She'd actually just had a personal, non-planned, totally improvised, totally intimate, conversation with Harry! She couldn't believe that it was possible, for him to talk to her completely like she wasn't Ron's little sister, but a real person, she also couldn't believe that one little conversation could evoke such feeling, and giddiness, and all sorts of other unexplainable feeling.
Heart still thumping madly, Ginny reached under her mattress and pulled out her diary (the one that her parents had checked for any jinxes or hexes or old memory induced students). Tapping it twice with her wand, she opened it to write quickly about the events of her rendezvous with her lifelong addiction, before the other fifth year girls roused.
Harry sunk down onto his four poster bed, across from a bluntly snoring Ron, in his dormitory, just moments after the departure with Ginny. It had been such a perfect moment, they were actually talking to each other, and civilly at that. If it hadn't been for that tactless Mundungus… then what? Would Harry have actually seized the moment and told Ginny his true feelings?
He knew the answer with out even asking. No. He would never be able to do that. He, the boy who lived, the boy who fought (and survived) Voldemort several times, the boy who tricked a cunning dragon, and fought off a pack of Dementors, couldn't tell a girl, whom he'd known for years how he felt about her. It disgusted him. He felt like such a coward. Above that, it was his fault that she didn't care for him anymore in the first place. He was such a blind, ignorant blockhead.
She'd swooned and practically kissed his feet for ages, and now, now he had to start the conversation to hold her interest. Now he practically kissed her feet, in secret of course, but true all the same. But, it was still up to him to make the first move. He didn't know if he could, and that just made him angrier with himself. Cursing his own name, he went to his trunk, to gather his new school books, and get things ready for his N.E.W.T. classes later that very same day.
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A/n: ugh, I know, this is the second chapter I've started with a dream, but bear with me, I find dreams to be of great insight in the Harry Potter world (that would be considered a clue -.-) Please review, reviews make me happy. Oh so happy. But, yea, this will be up tomorrow (Friday, the 17th), as it is like ten thirty here (eastern time zone) and I am tired because, well, even though I am fifteen, I have no energy at night, as I spend my days (literally) bouncing off the walls. So I bid you adieu, and good night (for Thursday).
Ciao, Aimee
