Alrighty, well I'm back. As there are currently no reviews, I don't have any responses to them, being as there aren't any to respond to. Also, if there are any suggestions for me, just send me a review. I'm like Burger King; I have it your way.
Oh, and I realized that there were no references to 'My Sharona' in the last chapter. Don't worry, there will be some later. Just hang on to your hats.
So shall we return to the story? Okay. I'm totally amenable to that plan.
When we left the story, Kagome and Inuyasha were clustered around Miroku's comatose body. Shippo was maniacally gnawing a Hershey bar; Sango was wandering around aimlessly; Kaede was playing drinking games with herself. All would seem normal to the average spectator.
However, all was far from normal. Sesshomaru was currently striding through the forest with Kagome's iPod in his pocket. He had no idea just what it was, but apparently it had enough destructive power to sufficiently disable our heroes, so just imagine the power Sesshy could wield with it! Mwahahaha!
'Hee, hee, I'm so evil," giggled Sesshomaru as he made his way back to his castle to properly investigate the little white box.
Sesshomaru made it back home at the same time Rin and Jaken came sprinting around the corner of the wall with armfuls of wildflowers (and a few frondy bits of wheat), and burst into the doorway right before Sesshy. "Gotta get some water, Gotta get some water!" they yelled in explanation. Sesshy could only tell it was Rin and Jaken by Jaken's telltale odor. "Ew," Sesshy muttered, pulling out his handy-dandy travel can of Axe and spraying it liberally in the direction which Jaken had run.
Sesshy made his way up the stairs (a/n: after hanging his boa/"tail" on the hook by the front door), so focused on his new treasure that he didn't notice that the staircase was shifting away from the wall to connect with a doorway on the other side of the stairwell. He didn't notice the tapestry in which a psycho British knight challenged him to a duel. However, he did notice when he walked through John Cleese's ghost.
"Watch where you're bloody going!" John Cleese said, putting his head back on straight as he floated down the stairs.
"What the hell?" Sesshy asked. He looked around at the castle and gaped. Fancy wood interiors, moving portraits on the walls, shifting staircases…this wasn't his castle….
Meanwhile, in England, Harry Potter woke up in Sesshy's bed, looked around, and said, "What the bloody hell?" at almost exactly the same time as Sesshy. Harry noticed that all his roommates were also in bed with him (a/n: Ron and Neville looked quite cozy all nestled together). Harry crawled around them and got out of the bed, looking around. This wasn't Hogwarts….
But that's another story. After sitting on the stairs for several minutes, Sesshy got tired of swinging all over the place as the ADD stairs took him wherever they pleased. He ran up to the top of them and got off at the nearest doorway. He had no idea what had happened to his castle, but he could take care of that later. There was a magical box to ponder for now. He walked down the hallway, searching for a room that would have a lovely armchair in it to snuggle in. Oh, how Sesshy loved snuggling! He was really just quite misunderstood by all the other demons.
'It's like the sherbert lemon incident,' he said, musing sadly on a past incident when he was forced to prove that he could be a strong manly demon and kill people. (a/n: much as it tried to get back into business, the little ice cream shoppe that Sesshy's schoolmates dared him to torch never received many customers ever again.).
Suddenly, the golden statue thing Sesshy had just walked past started rotating and a stairwell appeared. 'I think I'll walk up there,' Sesshy thought. So he did. He came to a cozy room with a lovely armchair next to a roaring fire. However, as he walked through the door, all the portraits on the walls started yelling at him with snobby British accents and the pretty birdy in the gold cage caught fire.
"Cool, a phoenix! You can be my friend! I'll name you Melvin!" Sesshy exclaimed, cuddling the ugly baby phoenix in his robes. However, Sesshy and Melvin's newfound peace and happiness was soon disturbed by the bellowing portraits. "This is a problem easily solved," Sesshy said. Over the next four hours, he and Melvin bonded while tossing the portraits onto the fire and listening to the agonized screams.
Once the portraits were nothing but a noisy memory, Sesshy set Melvin on a cushion made of his outer kimono robes and dragged the armchair over to the monstrous desk. He took the iPod out of his pocket and placed it in the middle of the desk. He stared at it for a little bit, caught up in the shiny loveliness. He turned the iPod over and checked his makeup in the reflection of the shiny silver back panel. He unwound the long cord and examined the twin tails. After deciding that nothing was going to bite him with pointy teeth, he poked the button in the middle of the box. Nothing happened. He poked it again. Nothing. He began poking all over the iPod to see how it worked. Nothing. It was impenetrable! Sesshy kept poking and poking and eventually the little screen lit up on the front. Sesshy jumped but then bent in to investigate. As he bent in, he heard sounds coming from the tails of the box. He picked up the tails and held them closer to his ears in order to hear better.
"Oh, God no, not that horrible song!" he yelled, tossing the tails away. He poked at the box again, but missed the button and accidentally hit part of the circle around the center button instead. The words on the screen changed and Sesshy poked the circle again.
"Ooh, spinny!" Sesshy cried, as he began spinning the circle around and around and around (a/n: hey, sorta like that song 'you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right right round round'. Ooh, I like that song!). Little did he know that he was scrolling through songs. He poked the button with a triangle on it randomly. Suddenly, the sounds coming from the tails changed. Sesshy picked them up and warily brought them back to his ears again. Deciding he liked the catchy tune, he also discovered that it was possible to wedge the tiny earbuds into his ear-holes. Why, the song was just SO fun, he had to get up and dance! And when it ended, Sesshy realized that it was really simple to make the box play the song again! And again! By the end of the night, Sesshy had memorized all the lyrics and choreographed a dance (complete with shimmy, booty waggle, and leaping) to Shania Twain's hit song 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman'.
But while these discoveries were occurring at Sesshy's new castle of Hogwarts, dire things were happening back in the clearing near Kaede's hut. Kaede had run out of rum and her still was broken. So Kagome and Inuyasha had to high-tail it out of there, carrying Miroku and Shippo, while Sango followed confusedly. (a/n: Kagome had tried to mime what was going on, but Sango misinterpreted the message as 'come this way, but be quiet since you have become a raccoon and we must swim to safety'). An hour later, Kagome and Inuyasha tiredly chose a campsite a few miles away from Kaede.
"Next time, Inuyasha, YOU get to carry Miroku. He can't be dead. He was groping me in his sleep," Kagome said.
"Yeah, that really makes me WANT to carry him. And Shippo's a hard enough load," Inuyasha retaliated. Shippo was apparently more damaged by the Macarena effects than they had first supposed. He hadn't said a word since the ordeal and had turned to chocolate for solace. So even though Shippo himself weighed approximately 5 pounds, there were also 40 pounds of chocolate to deal with. Sango sat down by Shippo and kept quiet. Meanwhile, Kagome and Inuyasha were planning on what to do to wake Miroku up properly, since his hands were clutching at empty air and he was muttering naughty phrases to himself. They finally decided on rolling him down a hill and, if that didn't work, dunking him in the river until he woke up.
So Inuyasha lined Miroku up at the top of a hill while Kagome waded her way out to a quiet part of the river to wait for him. After getting the okay from Kagome, Inuyasha shoved Miroku down the hill. It was quite a spectacular roll, somewhat like a ski jump. Miroku rolled for a bit, gathering momentum, hit a sloped rock, and flew into the air in a mass of shaggy black hair and purple robes. He hit the ground just before the riverbank, where Kagome caught him and pulled him into the water. She had had lots of practice dunking her little brother in the pool back home, so it only took 3 or 4 dunks before Miroku was sputtering and thrashing. However, when he realized that it was Kagome who held him, he reached out to dunk her too.
Before long, both of them were soaked and laughing. It was then that Miroku decided to follow his lecherous initiative and kiss Kagome. Kagome had swallowed a little too much river water and was in no position to object to Miroku's delightful warm mouth so she started kissing him back. Inuyasha couldn't really tell what was going on in the river, so he started throwing rocks at the couple. They broke apart and looked at each other. Kagome looked a little stunned and Miroku just winked at her before yelling at Inuyasha to stop throwing rocks. Yelling didn't work. So Miroku threw some rocks back at Inuyasha. And thus the great rock fight began. It wasn't until Inuyasha rolled a boulder down at Miroku and almost drowned him that Kagome interceded.
Kagome and Miroku made their soggy way back up the hill, where Kagome made Inuyasha apologize for throwing rocks. He apologized (a/n: after Kagome threatened to take away the ramen), and the three of them returned to the campsite. Sango leaped up to greet them.
"Let me show you this dance! It came to me while I was sitting here listening to the music," she said happily. Sango proceeded to wait a couple of beats before sticking her arms out in front of her, one by one, then flipping them over, one by one, then crossing them over her chest, one by one, then behind her head…and so on (a/n: you know how it goes). She did this dance over and over, jump/turning sideways every time she finished one set of the dance. Kagome started shaking her head in amazement. Miroku went goggle-eyed.
"You are so unbelievably hot when you dance like that, Sango," he told her.
"My mother was a saint!" she exclaimed angrily, slapping his face and retreating to where she had left Shippo. Kagome picked Miroku up, quickly explaining that Sango had gone deaf and that you had to mime whatever you said to her, because she was very good at misinterpreting things. Miroku nodded.
At this point, the author began to get a crick in her neck and her wrists were sore from typing for so long, so the chapter came to a sudden end. Once the pain goes away, the story will come back.
