Eh, well it took me a little longer than I'd expected to get back to writing this. There were some…issues…that needed to get worked out. But the key part is that I'm back, I've got a copy of the messed-up remix version of 'Sandstorm' to keep me motivated, so here's the next chappie! Yay!
It wasn't until mid-afternoon of the next day that Sesshomaru finally emerged from Dumbledore's office, after finishing his makeover. He had slashed his kimono at mid-thigh length to make a miniskirt and had pulled his lovely long white hair up into a high ponytail. Having decided that his make-up looked fine the way he had it, he squeezed his toes into a pair of stilettos and sashayed down the hall.(a/n: to his joy, he had found a whole drawer full of women's shoes in Dumbledore's desk). The corridors echoed with "No inhibitions, make no conditions, get a little out of li-ine, I ain't gonna act politically correct, I only wanna have a good ti-ime".
Startled by Sesshy's 'singing', Rin and Myrtle cautiously poked their heads out of the bathroom door (a/n: Myrtle literally did poke her head out of the door, looking like a bizarre hunting trophy).
"What is that horrible noise?" Rin asked fearfully, "Are there other ghosts here?"
"Lots, but I've never heard this one before," Myrtle answered, "But that's not a ghost. It just fell down the stairs."
Rin and Myrtle quietly opened the door and snuck down the hallway so as to avoid getting the singer's attention. They tiptoed down to the landing that the singer tumbled from and looked down.
"Ooh! She's so pretty!" Rin exclaimed, "Look at her hair!"
The singer in question had regained 'her' feet, wobbling in place as she rubbed a stilettoed ankle cautiously. At Rin's exclamation, 'she' turned around curiously and shouted "Rin! Look at me! I'm pretty!"
"Sesshy?" Rin asked, "What have you done?"
"Well, I'll tell you, darlin'," he answered. 'Darlin'?' Rin mouthed at Myrtle, who shrugged.
Sesshy gathered him/herself up wobbily, and, striking a pose, belted out "Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction, color my hair, do what I dare, oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah to feel the way I feel, Man! I feel like a woman!" with gusto.
Rin and Myrtle went wide-eyed as Sesshy proceeded to shimmy down a banister, but slipped off as the stairway lurched in time to the music and tumbled to the next landing, where he lay sprawled in a mess of miniskirt, long razor-burned legs, and ponytail.
"Sesshy!" Rin cried, running down the stairs as fast as her little legs would carry her. She patted his face over and over while Myrtle flew over his body, trying to spook him out of his unconsciousness. Suddenly, a screech came from overhead. Rin didn't have time to turn and see what had made that horrible noise before Melvin/Fawkes swooped down and knocked her out of the way, perching on Sesshy's now-voluptuous chest (a/n: Sesshy had resorted to Kleenex. Little did he know that the small box buried beneath the thigh-high hooker boots in Dumbledore's drawer was full of a powder that guaranteed genuine C-cups for 24 hours to whoever drank it, no matter what gender. Dumbledore had confiscated it from Hermione a few weeks before and had been joyfully experimenting with it). Melvin bent down over Sesshy's face and began crying. After watching this go on for a couple of seconds, Rin got tired and shoved Melvin out of the way.
"You're ruining his makeup, stupid bird!" she cried.
"Grawkh!" Melvin squawked, flapping his feathers and looking very insulted.
"Look, Rin! That might be what made him act so funny," Myrtle said, pointing at the iPod, which had slid out of Sesshy's pocket when he landed at the bottom of the stairs.
"Ooh! Shiny!" Rin exclaimed, picking up the iPod and putting it in her own pocket (a/n: Rin's always reminded me of a raccoon. I don't know why.)
Rin and Myrtle eventually decided to drag Sesshy (a/n: hahaha they dragged a drag queen) off the staircases so that he didn't get squished when the stairs moved again. After making sure that he was still breathing, they left him to Melvin's care and ventured off to find some dinner for Rin and then to figure out what the iPod did. They found the kitchens 20 minutes later and pulled the bell, which chimed several bells in the tune of the 'Lumberjack Song". A house-elf jumped to attention from his post underneath a counter and woozily rubbed his eyes.
"Wha'?" he asked.
"Can we have some food?" Rin asked warily. It didn't look like the elf could even see her, let alone find some food. All of a sudden, a racket broke out behind the swinging doors leading to the kitchens. A memorable stench filled the air as a single knobbly green hand smacked the glass circle in the swinging door before several brown house-elf hands pulled it back down.
"Rin, is that you? Help help they're holding me captive!" yelled Jaken.
" 'Ang on a second then loves," said the house-elf, waking up completely, picking up a rifle from behind the counter and striding through the swinging doors. Rin and Myrtle heard one shot ring out from the kitchen and then everything went silent. They quickly sidled out of the waiting room and down the hall as fast as they could go.
"What do we do now?" Rin asked Myrtle breathlessly, "This place just isn't safe!"
Myrtle shrugged. "I haven't been out of that bathroom for the past 50 years, excepting the year I worked on 'Bridget Jones'. I can hardly remember my way around these halls."
"Well," Rin said decisively, "I know who can help us. My fiancé. Let's go."
"Fiance?" Myrtle asked, "you never said anything about a fiancé!"
"Shh…it's a secret. And Sesshy doesn't approve of inter-species relationships, so I've had to hide it," Rin said.
"Well, what's his name? Tell me ALL about him! I swear I won't tell Sesshy!" Myrtle exclaimed excitedly.
"Okay, well, his name's Shippo, and…"
Sorry that this is all I could get out for now. I've got the AP European History exam this Friday (the 6th) and I totally need to study some more and find out how long Catherine de Medici lived, because right now it seems like she's lived for 300 or so years. And then I need to figger out the differences between Calvinism and Lutheranism and Presbyterianism. Stupid Reformists….
