Summary: Set about a year after Not Fade Away. Angel's not happy, neither is Buffy. But she comes to town and needs his help and he just needs her. Not a great summary, but let me know if I should finish it up.

Disclaimers: Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon own it all.

Feedback: Appreciated


"Angel?" He could hear the fear in her voice.

"Yeah Buffy, it's still me." He leaned back to look at her, she looked so wonderful. A little mussed maybe, okay a lot mussed, be still so beautifulAngel took his coat off and put it around her shoulders.

"Not quite sure how to feel about this. Guess this explains why it was so easy for you to stay away from me, huh?" She couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice. What a silly, immature bitch I am, she thought. I have mind-shattering sex with the man that I love, have always loved, and then I'm hurt because he didn't revert to a murderous demon without a soul. Twisted much? She shook the thoughts out of her head. "God, just forget I said that. Chalk it up to years between intercourse." She winced, had she just admitted she hadn't had sex in years?

Years, huh? A great start. He couldn't help but chuckle at the little girl look on her face. He could see her conflicted emotions and could almost read her thoughts. Great sex, but he doesn't love me anymore.

"Buffy, I love you. I always have and I always will. But even you have to admit, this wasn't exactly perfect. Did you feel pure happiness?" He ran his hand through his hair. "Only you can make me feel all these emotions Buffy. Including the fear of losing my soul and letting Angelus back into the world. When we were making love..."

"Having sex." She corrected.

"Whatever. Anyway. I lost all conscience thought of everything but feeling you and that one nagging thought. Angelus. Guess we found a loop hole in the curse. As long as the fear of losing my soul is there, how can I ever find complete happiness again?" He waited for her reaction.

"This was a one time deal, Angel, it has to be. Come on, get real. You haven't even tried to see me since The First. And that wasn't a social call." She got up and attempted to straighten her running shorts. "I don't think we should test out that theory again. It's too dangerous. And I know I could never kill you or Angelus again." She looked up at him. The look on his face was determined and angry. She expected sad, wistful, and yes, brooding. But not this.

"I'm not giving you up Buffy. I have spent the past five years dreaming of you, wanting you. Now that we have a chance, I am not going to lose you again. We need to talk; we need to figure something out. I have lost so much this past year; I can't keep losing you, too. I need you here, evenif Inever touch you again, I need you near me and I think you need me too. There are issues Buffy, things we need to discuss. Figure out. "

She looked at him with confusion and softened for a moment. "I'm sorry Angel. I know you lost most your team, lost Connor, Cordelia. But do you really think you and I can just be friends? What just happened, doesn't that tell you anything? We can't be around each other without touching, without wanting, without sex. You knew that all along, which is why you left me."

This was killing her; she wanted to be with him so badly. He was hers and she was his, this would never change. But together they were too dangerous.

"Angel, I need to find some clothes before I go back to the hotel. Dawn's at Dad's, but I can't walk into the lobby like this."

An idea was forming in his brain, maybe it would work. If she didn't kill him before he could get it into action.

Yeah, he was sure Doyle would approve. Angel flashed back to part of his conversation with Doyle.

"Just tell her the truth man. She knows you wouldn't lie to her."

"She's never going to just agree to stay with me and she's never going to believe me about the demon within her. Demons, just too frightening for someone like Buffy. I'll have to slide it in somehow, once I convince her we belong together."

Doyle wasn't convinced. "I don't know big guy. Ya don't think the truth would be best?"

"You really don't know her, Doyle. I'm thinking flat out running from the truth. If she doesn't try to kill me first."

"Earth to Angel… Angel, are you listening to me?"

"Um, yeah. Sorry… I'm back at the Hyperion. Come with me, I'm sure we can find you something there."


Angel opened the passenger door for her and she got in. This could work, he'd make it work. He was not going to lose her again. He didn't even care about the demon at this point. No more self-sacrificing for the good of many. Man he thought, I really watch too many Star Trek movies. It would take some work, but he knew he could figure it all out. And she needed him as well, it was all good.

May the gods bless Doyle and his nosey interventions.

"So, what's with the visit to L.A.? And Dawnie's with you?" He had to find out exactly why she was here and for how long. He had to make her relax, to get over the discomfort of their passion.

Trying to overcome her embarrassment at their recent actions, Buffy tried to sound calm, in control. "Yeah, well super-dad has some provisos regarding Dawn staying with Giles and me. She has to come to town twice a year until she's 18, which is why we're here. Dad and I already had our little bonding visit, so she's going to be staying with him for another 3 weeks. I think he realizes it's a little too late for us, so he's attempting to bond with his younger daughter and he has about a year to do it. He's so transparent. And Dawnie can see it all. She just wants to make sure she gets back to England before school starts."

"Are they staying in town? I mean, how come you aren't with them?" Did that sound casual enough?

"Oh, Dad's going to take her on a back-packing adventure for 2 weeks, he thinks if they get back to basics and are away from my negative influence he can win her back and have her move here with him. He so does not know Dawn. Like he could, seeing her once in 3 years? And then I think they're off to Alaska, Giles has all the details. Dad didn't want me following them. How totally weird is that? I mean I know she's safe with him, he's not a pervert or anything, but Giles had to agree so she could come back to England." Buffy was feeling sore from their earlier interlude, visions of what they did running through her mind and making her a little twitchy. She stretched her arms above her head, drawing Angel's attention.

Angel looked over at her, she was his and the sooner she could come to terms, the better. As Cordelia would say, obsess much? He knew it all seemed insane, more Angelus than Angel, but the ball was in play and he was not going to look back. He could tell she was replaying the evening, he could feel her heartbeat quicken and the new heat coming off of her. Yes, this could most definitely work. Even if they were unsure of their standing with each other, their demons knew better. How weird was that?

"Are you going back to Europe?"

"No, actually I thought I might take a little vacation myself. I check out of the hotel tomorrow and I thought I might rent a car and drive up the coast. Check out the crater; maybe make it up to the Canadian border. We'll see." She snuck a sideways glance at him.

"Want to meet for lunch tomorrow? Someplace dark? Tunnel accessible?" She didn't want tonight to be the end, she had to see him at least once more and someplace public would work. They could be adult about this, she was trying adult all the time now. This was the only man she could ever love and she hated the thought of their last meeting being about this trivial shit that didn't matter. This small talk.

"That would be great Buffy. But you know what? I can pick you up. I still have one of the cars from Wolfram & Hart. Necro-tempered windows and all, I can drive it in daylight. I'll call and we can set up a time. Just bring all your luggage and I'll take you to get a rental. Sound good?" He held his breath, waiting for her answer.

"Sounds good." Buffy said with way too much enthusiasm. What a complete dork, just calm down and breathe. "Since I'm going to see you tomorrow, let me just borrow your coat. I think I can make it through the lobby like this, so you can just drop me off at the hotel, 'kay?"

She looked over at him. Everything about Angel made her ache. He brought up every emotion in her as well and she felt herself begin to lose what little control she had gained. Gods, what was happening to her? She had worked so hard to keep it all in check, but one look, one touch and she was a quivering mass of desire.

He looked at her and smiled. She couldn't help but smile back and gave him a questioning look. "What?"

We're here Buff." He reached over to put a strand of her hair behind her ear. "We're at your hotel."

Buffy jumped at his words. What a totally geek, she had been so mesmerized by his smile, his touch, she had lost a few minutes. Deep breath, she told herself, get a grip.

"Oh yeah, great." She smiled at him again. "Jet lag, still haven't caught up on that lost sleep." Oh god, can I be more lame? "So, tomorrow then? Check out is at 11:00, does that work for you?"

"Of course, I'll see you at 11:00." He grabbed her arm as she opened the car door and pulled her towards him. "Buffy, I do love you." He looked into her eyes and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on her soft lips.

She kissed him back. "I love you too, that was never the issue." With that she was out of the car and through the lobby without a backwards look.