Eternal flame Dick is about to marry the love of his life when something
happens. Did she get cold feet or is it something more sinister? Marcie
Gore and Lee Hughes Pegasusverse Lyrics from I'm Too SEXY
Author's note For those who don't know Cody is Bruce's adopted son in the Pegasusverse, who's around nine here. He first appeared in Christmas Without you, which is in the Library.
Christina Williams uses the elevator to get from the lower part of Wayne Manor to her party in the living room. Alfred would call it the drawing room. He is such a proper English gent. Christina loves him like a grandfather. Both of hers died ten years apart.
She hopes her maids of honor her Sister Elaine and cousin Barbara are planning a nice quiet evening and not the full-blown Bacherolette party they've hinted at. She begged them not to go overboard. The wedding is the next day and the bride doesn't hold her liquor very well.
Who knows what's been planed if Kory was in on it? Oh well she's serving plenty of food and caffeinated drinks which slows down the effects of alcohol. If anyone can't drive home or have designated driver, Bruce and Alfred have arranged to put the guys up for the Night. The Ladies were already planning a slumber party.
She was in the Bat cave looking for spare pieces of her Pegasus gear in case she needs it. She put a COM link in one sleeve, a stun device in the other. It's a good thing it's winter so she can wear a velour dress that she favors when off duty this time of year. The thicker material will make hiding the devices from her civilian friends easier.
If one didn't know what she and Dick had been through for the last 6 months they'd think she was growing as paranoid as her future father-in-law Batman/Bruce Wayne Her Stalker has been caught but still she fears he'll get out on bail. He sent her increasingly threatening gifts, notes and even an audiotape. The topper had been the decapitated ken doll in a police officer's uniform. The doll had black hair like Dick. The voice on the tape said,
"You and I were meant to be one. Marry me or the BHPD will have one less officer." Besides as a member of the Bat family she's been taught to be ready for trouble at all times.
The guys are having their bachelor party in the old gardener's cottage. Knowing Roy the way she does Christina figures the guys won't show up at the manor till later. The Best man is probably treating the groom to a ' last" guys night out before the wedding tomorrow. They may not make it to the manor till Midnight if then.
In a way that suits her fine, at least she won't have to see the striper Roy most likely hired if they plane the d more fun for the manor. Donna once told her there was a mix up with entertainment for Robert's Party. The woman showed up at her party. We'd have both loved to see the guys faces if the male dancer her maid of Honor hired showed up at HIS party. They finally got her to the right place though.
Christina would hate to have face the woman sent entertain Dick. As uncomfortable ad it would maker her, it was preferable to Alfred have to deal with a tall red head with large breasts in black leather bondage gear or a cheerleader uniform.
Then Christina thinks to herself you have NO reason to be insecure. You're beautiful with an athletic body. He loves you and he'd never cheat on you, especially with some. Rent a stripper. The girl has to make a living as much anyone. It's just a job to her probably She rolls into the living room when suddenly she hears, "SURPRISE!"
This wasn't a surprise party she knew they were having her shower on February 13,the day before her wedding.
Donna says, "Yea I know this wasn't supposed to be a surprise, but we thought our friend deserved one last wild Hen Night, even if you are saving yourself for Dick. I don't think this counts as cheating." A couple of men roll out a giant present, a silver box with a royal blue bow, and out pops a guy dressed like Nightwing!
"They said they'd send their most popular and best dancer. It looks like they did, Donna laughs. I wonder if the real Nightwing's body is this good!" Donna adds for the benefit of the civilian guests there.
"I bet it is even thought I've just seen blurry pictures in the papers. He looks pretty good to me but not as good as the guy I'm marrying," the bride to be brags. As he's removing the top of his costume the dancer thrusts his pelvis near her own waist, it wouldn't usually be at waist height but she is sitting in her chair.
The other guests are screaming, "Take it off take it all off," but Christina is turning redder with each piece of clothing removed and each gyration. Finally he's down to his Nightwing Logo G string. He grabs my hand. She holds her breath for a second, till he places the hand on his rock hard abs. It looks like he's about to put it lower when she manage to free my hand.
Before He leaves he asks Christina for her autograph in a sexy Latino accent. " You're my favorite singer. You are so beautiful. It is an honor to perform for you," he coos He then kisses the guest of honor's hand. All the ladies in the room are swooning Then Donna Pays him. As he's turning around to leave, Christina notices a scar on his shoulder.
They have a little something to eat then it's time for presents! She requested romance themed gifts like lingerie and scented candles! If they'd had a registry she'd have registered at Victoria's secret and bath and body works.
Donna hands her the first gift. She says," This is from us all!" She opens it ands some beautiful satin sheets and pillow cases the same shade of blue as Nightwing's suit. They're King sized. Donna says,"If they're the Wrong Size YOU can return them, or persuade your husband to upgrade to king sized!"
I have faith in your skills of persuasion. All the women in the room say, "Oh YEA!"
She opens some Lingerie of various colors and Lengths. So far it's all tasteful from Victoria's Secret. Then she gets a set of bath gels from Bath and Bodyworks in Lilac, Rose, Orange Blossom, Vanilla, Plumeria and tropical blend. There's a set of smaller bottles with massage oils in the same Scents and a warmer from Donna.
At the guys party Dick is opening his gifts. The guys give him a joint gift, a massage table with padding. Dick says, "What no sheets? She likes to stay warm and her privacy."
"Boy, it has been a long tine for you hasn't It BUDDY? If she needs a sheet to keep her warm you aren't doing it right. Roy says with a wink. There's a massage book on top of the table."
Back at the girls' party Babs hands the bride to be a book called, "a Virgin's Guide to the Wedding Night." She says, "I was lucky to find this, the lady said they didn't order many copies. I marked the parts pertaining to your Spina bifta. I know you both talked to the doctor on that topic that's just a reminder. It's from Elaine and me both."
"We're just being over protective Sister and favorite cousin," They say together. First she hugs Elaine then Barbara.
"Thank You SO Much I love you both. I'm just glad it wasn't "An Idiot's guide to sex," she says with a loud laugh. I hope the Three As understood why they couldn't come? Christina says.
"OH. Austin says He's going to find a way to sneak into the bachelor party. He's in the wedding party after all he reminded me Several times over the last couple of weeks. He thinks he's so grown up but he's just 13.I had a heck of a time explaining to autumn why she couldn't come. Andrew didn't seem interested. He's just looking forward to the cake at the reception," Elaine tells her younger sister.
"That's my sweet kids for you. I hope Cody was ok with not getting to go to the Guys party though. Dick said he'd try very hard to make his new little brother feel loved before the party. By the way how did the guy's day together go," Christina asks,
"OH, it went great the guys loved the trip to the go cart track and amusement park. That might be why Andrew didn't care if he went to the party or not. He was tired when Dick brought them home," Elaine says.
"I had fun taking Lian and autumn out for some pampering before they joining the guys. We took a mud bath and course the girls turned it into a mud fight. The lady did tell us to get covered in mud. They took that phrase differently than I did I think," their aunt says. "Oh yes, Autumn told me about that and how you all then got in a tub filled with bubble. It makes me wish I could've gotten the day off from work" her sister says wistfully Then Linda West says, "I have another useful book for you. Sometimes a woman just wants to leave alone. When she sees the title of the book she laughs. It's the home health guide 500 common illnesses and cures. This is for when a simple headache won't do. "Linda says with the knowing smile of a longtime wife. The Other Book is called, "Ornithology the care and feeding of your pet bird!" There are a few puzzled looks in the room.
"Oh I call him my birdie. Remember He was a member of the flying Graysons trapeze act. I always thought of him as the star," Christina says with smile.
"Ready for more gifts? Selena asks I still need to give you mine. Let's say your future father in Law had no hand in picking out these gifts but if Dick's like his father He'll love it." "OHH, I can't wait to see it then," the guest of honor says with a broad smile!" Selena hands her a tall and long package wrapped in paper with cats all over it.
"Let's just say these are meant to spice up your life! These aren't for Halloween or for use in public," Selena purrs.
She opens the box with some triptation. On top is an Arab princess costume then a cheerleader costume Selena says, "The one on bottom is my favorite! It's a Catwoman suit, complete with gloves and a whip! "This should keep Dicky in line. I made them myself I figured we had the same measurements, though you may be curvier than me in some places. I'm so jealous. " Selena laughs.
At the guy's party Dick also gets more gifts Wally says,"Open mine next this is something you'll really need to deal with your wife in sickness and health." The Package is rather small, inside is a bottle of Tylenol. Under that is a small homemade made book called a man's guide to dealing with PMS. There are four pages.
Page one says, "Stay out of her way!" Page two, if you can't do that remembers these wise words," Yes, dear whatever you say!" PAGE "Three Learn to Bake Brownies! "Page four if all of these fail take the Tylenol or Raid her bottle of Pamperin. Then put these in your ears. He pulls out some industrial earplugs. He also gets him a Book called the Complete Guide to the Creature's of Greek and Roman Myths, with a Pegasus on the cover.
Roy hands him a package similar in size and shape to the one that Selena gave Christina at the women's party. There's a Gotham Knights Football Jersey and Pants the Whole thing. Under that there's an outfit that looks like Aladdin's outfit from the animated movie. There is also a slave boy outfit.
"Which outfit you use will depend on your bride's mood. She might want you be her Prince one night, the next her personal slave. You better obey when she's in a slave/master mood, Roy says with a wink.
"Yea, no matter what anyone says, the woman is in control in the marriage," Wally says.
" I'm bored. Hey, Dick let's go crash the girl's party. I dated you're fiancée but can't say I trust her, besides the girls might've talked her into trying on some skimpy nighties. You don't wanta miss that do yea?" Roy says,
"No, I don't want to invade their privacy. They're probably engaging in girl talk. She might not have many chances after we get married. I think you've had too much to drink; you're even too drunk to walk," Dick says in a sensible if slightly intoxicated manner.
At the other party the ladies are eating drinking and making merry. Selena has a the same idea, "Let's give the guys a treat. Why don't we all crash the guy's party? When we show up they won't be paying attention to the Porn movie or stripper, whatever Mr. Harper has planned to entertain them. We'll make sure of that, meow!"
"We're all in our nightclothes besides you know what they say about not seeing the bride before the wedding. It's bad luck. As much fun as it might be we probably shouldn't," Christina counters "Aw, come on, it'll be fun, I can't wait to see the looks on the boys faces, especially the groom to be and Bruce's if he's there. You can MODEL your new nightwear for him. That will divert his attention from any lesser women Roy has pushed on him. I mean the Stripper and Porn actresses," Toni pleads Maybe it was the 2 glasses of wine maybe it was just the whole party atmosphere but Christina changes her mind. She grabs a couple her presents. The others pick up the Q and get the Rest the head to the gardener's Quarters.
When they get there things are worse than she feared. Roy and Garth were dancing with each other. The other guys are lying half died on the floor while Debbie does Dallas is playing a large screen TV.
"Where is Dick?" Christina asks fearing the answer.
"The last time I saw my son he was head to the rest room screaming, Roy, what did you put in the punch and why did you let Tim drink it? He's a kid it might kill him? " Then he started yelling at me, saying I was a bad father to Tim and the two of you were going to seek custody of him. I had to remind him I wasn't Tim's Dad and Cody was safely with a babysitter," Bruce tells her.
"Yes, What did you put in the punch? Most of the Guys here look like an oil painting of Gettysburg without the blood and my husband to be is in the bathroom hugging the toilet probably with Tim next him," Christina says angrily.
Just then Dick and Tim emerge from bathroom all cleaned and ready for more fun. Dick sees the ladies and says, "Look Wally more girls are here!"
"I think I know you and you and you, pointing at Christina, Barbara and Selena. Where's my Wife, I wanta give her a great big kiss. There she is," He says pointing at Roy.
He grabs the unsuspecting archer and plants a huge kiss his lips. Dick grabs the instant camera and says kiss her again. This should be in the scrape book. He obliges just before he realizes whom he's kissing.
Roy asks, "Why did you just kiss me Wally, and why did you encourage it, Robbie."
Wally says, "Hey I love yea man!"
Linda grabs the picture from Dick and asks her husband, "What will you give me to make sure this picture doesn't accidentally wind up as an attachment in an email to all your friends in the Justice League my dear husband?"
"Won't bother me Honey, you and old grim and grumpy both saw the kiss already. I'm not worried about any of the rest, are you Roy?" Wally replies "I don't know about you Flasher, but I have a rep to protect as a raging heterosexual. What if Donna saw us? Besides Clark and his Lovely wife are ace reporters. This might wind up on front page," Roy says with a drunken slur to his voice.
"OH, I'd never do that to you Wally. The people would never believe the Flash-kissing Arsenal anyway, even though there'd be a picture. Those can be faked." Clark laughs.
They might however believe you kissing the Flash! LOIS laughs. Those goofy outfits speedy wore. I meant no offense to you Dick. You looked better in those colors than he did, Lois laughs.
Oh that reminds me, we're giving you the gift of privacy on your honeymoon. We've told all of our press contacts to stay away from you on your honeymoon. It wasn't easy, since you gave us exclusive rights to the wedding pictures, which made a few of them angry. I think we persuaded them together though. Remember we don't know everyone but we do know lots of them, Lois says.
The Bride and Groom both say THANK YOU! Christina hugs them both and kisses Clark on the cheek. Clark, still the Kansas farm boy at heart blushes. Lois jokingly balls up her fist at Christina.
"Honey what are those," Dick asks pointing to the silky things in her Lap. "Are they for me? he asks hopefully.
I didn't know you liked to wear women's underwear but it takes all kinds I guess, Dinah "OH, just some shower gifts from our friends," Christina says with a coy smile.
I changed my mind I want to see you in em baby! I wants see what I missed out on Roy says with an Evil grin in Dick's direction.
His tone of voice changes as he says," I guess the better man won unless you want to give me another chance."
Donna says," What Am I Chopped Liver Red Who helped you change Lian's diapers, Me, Donna, not her!" She punches him on the arm.
"I know Wonder Doll, I'm sorry. That was just a temporary lapse. "I wov wo," Roy exclaims with his best little boy voice and puppy dog eyes. He kisses her deeply!
"Yuck, next time you're going to kiss me like that pop a breath mint! You smell like a distillery! That wasn't the best kiss I've ever gotten, Roy Boy! Donna chastises Dick kissed better than that when he was only 13 and in short pants! Bruce must've taught him!"
" Is that why you got into women's undies? It's not a big leap from those green short you know Robbie Roy laughs. Did you wax or shave your legs?
"You should KNOW you were there and doing it with me Roy!" Dick punctuates each word with a slap on the back. Roy falls into the punch bowl with last one.
Dick helps him out of the Bowl. They go into another room help Roy dry his hair. He'll probably have to wash it tomorrow morning when he's sober. If he doesn't he isn't coming to the wedding. He wouldn't look like much of a best man.
While the guys help Roy clean up the women are setting up a treat for them. They're picking out which of her new frilly nightwear to show to the guys. Should we show them the red one or the Black one or the white one? OH I know just the ones Christina says with A smile A few minutes later they peek out from behind the curtains on the makeshift probably set up for a stripper earlier that night.
The Guys yell loudly when they see Christina's hose /guarder clad leg. Next Donna sticks her leg out then Toni Linda, Dinah, and lastly Selena. This seems to raise even Bruce's blood pressure! A remake of I'm, too sexy remade by the bride herself is playing in the Background "
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love; Love's going to leave me I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan
The guys are getting restless by now Strip, Strip, Stripe they all scream lead by Roy.
As if on command they all stick out gloved hands. This gets the guys even more excited. The ladies then show their faces, fluttering their eyelashes and giving the men air kisses.
Wally says, "Come on show us the rest of you. We wanna see what Dick's going to see on his wedding night."
"IF you insist WALLY! The ladies say in unison." They step on stage and open their housecoats to reveal sweatshirt like nightgowns with fuzzy animal heads on them and flannel P.J.s.
"BOO! You tricked us," they all scream, except Dick who laughs. This really annoys the guys.
"Hey, I can wait till tomorrow night," Dick says with sly smile.
The single guys at the party say don't rub it in. You're marrying a beautiful woman. We still got to take our chances on the singles scene."
Just then an unexpected, and to many people there an unwanted, guest joins the party. Jean Paul, AKA AZERAL burst through the door.
"Forgive me, gentlemen, Mon Cheri, I just had to see the bride one last time before she marries Richard." He grabs Christina's hand, draws her closer and kisses her on the mouth.
The Men show him that He's not wanted there in any uncertain term and are about to show the French vigilante the door. Jean Paul begs them, "Please let me speak the words; I came to say, to the fair maiden."
"I love you, I have since I first saw you; you on your perch above the world, me on the ground, where men such as I belong. I am not worthy of a heart as pure as yours, but I just wanted one kiss before you were out of my reach forever. NO, I am not here to try to rob you of your bride as I did your birthright not long ago. I just longed to feel her lips on mine for the first and last time. Before I leave I just wish to deliver my present it is now up to you mon ami to protect her when awake but I hope this will protect you when you dream. I will go now on my own power, you need not force me. " He appears to be fighting back tears as he leaves.
Opening the box that he has handed to her Christina pulls out a Mandela made from feathers and beads. "Wow, a dream catcher!" Roy slurs," I ain't seen one of them since I left the reservation!"
After he's gone Christina and the other ladies realize how late it is and decide it's time for them to get ready for bed. The Guys reluctantly agree and head home either in cabs or with a designated driver.
Before heading to a separate wing of Wayne manor, Dick gives his bride to be one last kiss before turning in. Sleep well my love. This will be the last night we'll ever have to spend apart, my beautiful songbird.
When she gets to her room the first thing she sees is a rather odd looking plant, with a card that says from your "Two Hearts Fan Club. Tomorrow you start a new life sure to be filled with joy."
She changes into a soft white night gown with pink and red hearts. Then climbs under off white sheets with matching pillows. As she's setting in for the night, she notices a faintly sweet order in the room, unlike anything she's smelled before. There is something calming about it.
The smell of the plant easies her transition to dream land.
Christina Williams uses the elevator to get from the lower part of Wayne Manor to her party in the living room. Alfred would call it the drawing room. He is such a proper English gent. Christina loves him like a grandfather. Both of hers died ten years apart.
She hopes her maids of honor her Sister Elaine and cousin Barbara are planning a nice quiet evening and not the full-blown Bacherolette party they've hinted at. She begged them not to go overboard. The wedding is the next day and the bride doesn't hold her liquor very well.
Who knows what's been planed if Kory was in on it? Oh well she's serving plenty of food and caffeinated drinks which slows down the effects of alcohol. If anyone can't drive home or have designated driver, Bruce and Alfred have arranged to put the guys up for the Night. The Ladies were already planning a slumber party.
She was in the Bat cave looking for spare pieces of her Pegasus gear in case she needs it. She put a COM link in one sleeve, a stun device in the other. It's a good thing it's winter so she can wear a velour dress that she favors when off duty this time of year. The thicker material will make hiding the devices from her civilian friends easier.
If one didn't know what she and Dick had been through for the last 6 months they'd think she was growing as paranoid as her future father-in-law Batman/Bruce Wayne Her Stalker has been caught but still she fears he'll get out on bail. He sent her increasingly threatening gifts, notes and even an audiotape. The topper had been the decapitated ken doll in a police officer's uniform. The doll had black hair like Dick. The voice on the tape said,
"You and I were meant to be one. Marry me or the BHPD will have one less officer." Besides as a member of the Bat family she's been taught to be ready for trouble at all times.
The guys are having their bachelor party in the old gardener's cottage. Knowing Roy the way she does Christina figures the guys won't show up at the manor till later. The Best man is probably treating the groom to a ' last" guys night out before the wedding tomorrow. They may not make it to the manor till Midnight if then.
In a way that suits her fine, at least she won't have to see the striper Roy most likely hired if they plane the d more fun for the manor. Donna once told her there was a mix up with entertainment for Robert's Party. The woman showed up at her party. We'd have both loved to see the guys faces if the male dancer her maid of Honor hired showed up at HIS party. They finally got her to the right place though.
Christina would hate to have face the woman sent entertain Dick. As uncomfortable ad it would maker her, it was preferable to Alfred have to deal with a tall red head with large breasts in black leather bondage gear or a cheerleader uniform.
Then Christina thinks to herself you have NO reason to be insecure. You're beautiful with an athletic body. He loves you and he'd never cheat on you, especially with some. Rent a stripper. The girl has to make a living as much anyone. It's just a job to her probably She rolls into the living room when suddenly she hears, "SURPRISE!"
This wasn't a surprise party she knew they were having her shower on February 13,the day before her wedding.
Donna says, "Yea I know this wasn't supposed to be a surprise, but we thought our friend deserved one last wild Hen Night, even if you are saving yourself for Dick. I don't think this counts as cheating." A couple of men roll out a giant present, a silver box with a royal blue bow, and out pops a guy dressed like Nightwing!
"They said they'd send their most popular and best dancer. It looks like they did, Donna laughs. I wonder if the real Nightwing's body is this good!" Donna adds for the benefit of the civilian guests there.
"I bet it is even thought I've just seen blurry pictures in the papers. He looks pretty good to me but not as good as the guy I'm marrying," the bride to be brags. As he's removing the top of his costume the dancer thrusts his pelvis near her own waist, it wouldn't usually be at waist height but she is sitting in her chair.
The other guests are screaming, "Take it off take it all off," but Christina is turning redder with each piece of clothing removed and each gyration. Finally he's down to his Nightwing Logo G string. He grabs my hand. She holds her breath for a second, till he places the hand on his rock hard abs. It looks like he's about to put it lower when she manage to free my hand.
Before He leaves he asks Christina for her autograph in a sexy Latino accent. " You're my favorite singer. You are so beautiful. It is an honor to perform for you," he coos He then kisses the guest of honor's hand. All the ladies in the room are swooning Then Donna Pays him. As he's turning around to leave, Christina notices a scar on his shoulder.
They have a little something to eat then it's time for presents! She requested romance themed gifts like lingerie and scented candles! If they'd had a registry she'd have registered at Victoria's secret and bath and body works.
Donna hands her the first gift. She says," This is from us all!" She opens it ands some beautiful satin sheets and pillow cases the same shade of blue as Nightwing's suit. They're King sized. Donna says,"If they're the Wrong Size YOU can return them, or persuade your husband to upgrade to king sized!"
I have faith in your skills of persuasion. All the women in the room say, "Oh YEA!"
She opens some Lingerie of various colors and Lengths. So far it's all tasteful from Victoria's Secret. Then she gets a set of bath gels from Bath and Bodyworks in Lilac, Rose, Orange Blossom, Vanilla, Plumeria and tropical blend. There's a set of smaller bottles with massage oils in the same Scents and a warmer from Donna.
At the guys party Dick is opening his gifts. The guys give him a joint gift, a massage table with padding. Dick says, "What no sheets? She likes to stay warm and her privacy."
"Boy, it has been a long tine for you hasn't It BUDDY? If she needs a sheet to keep her warm you aren't doing it right. Roy says with a wink. There's a massage book on top of the table."
Back at the girls' party Babs hands the bride to be a book called, "a Virgin's Guide to the Wedding Night." She says, "I was lucky to find this, the lady said they didn't order many copies. I marked the parts pertaining to your Spina bifta. I know you both talked to the doctor on that topic that's just a reminder. It's from Elaine and me both."
"We're just being over protective Sister and favorite cousin," They say together. First she hugs Elaine then Barbara.
"Thank You SO Much I love you both. I'm just glad it wasn't "An Idiot's guide to sex," she says with a loud laugh. I hope the Three As understood why they couldn't come? Christina says.
"OH. Austin says He's going to find a way to sneak into the bachelor party. He's in the wedding party after all he reminded me Several times over the last couple of weeks. He thinks he's so grown up but he's just 13.I had a heck of a time explaining to autumn why she couldn't come. Andrew didn't seem interested. He's just looking forward to the cake at the reception," Elaine tells her younger sister.
"That's my sweet kids for you. I hope Cody was ok with not getting to go to the Guys party though. Dick said he'd try very hard to make his new little brother feel loved before the party. By the way how did the guy's day together go," Christina asks,
"OH, it went great the guys loved the trip to the go cart track and amusement park. That might be why Andrew didn't care if he went to the party or not. He was tired when Dick brought them home," Elaine says.
"I had fun taking Lian and autumn out for some pampering before they joining the guys. We took a mud bath and course the girls turned it into a mud fight. The lady did tell us to get covered in mud. They took that phrase differently than I did I think," their aunt says. "Oh yes, Autumn told me about that and how you all then got in a tub filled with bubble. It makes me wish I could've gotten the day off from work" her sister says wistfully Then Linda West says, "I have another useful book for you. Sometimes a woman just wants to leave alone. When she sees the title of the book she laughs. It's the home health guide 500 common illnesses and cures. This is for when a simple headache won't do. "Linda says with the knowing smile of a longtime wife. The Other Book is called, "Ornithology the care and feeding of your pet bird!" There are a few puzzled looks in the room.
"Oh I call him my birdie. Remember He was a member of the flying Graysons trapeze act. I always thought of him as the star," Christina says with smile.
"Ready for more gifts? Selena asks I still need to give you mine. Let's say your future father in Law had no hand in picking out these gifts but if Dick's like his father He'll love it." "OHH, I can't wait to see it then," the guest of honor says with a broad smile!" Selena hands her a tall and long package wrapped in paper with cats all over it.
"Let's just say these are meant to spice up your life! These aren't for Halloween or for use in public," Selena purrs.
She opens the box with some triptation. On top is an Arab princess costume then a cheerleader costume Selena says, "The one on bottom is my favorite! It's a Catwoman suit, complete with gloves and a whip! "This should keep Dicky in line. I made them myself I figured we had the same measurements, though you may be curvier than me in some places. I'm so jealous. " Selena laughs.
At the guy's party Dick also gets more gifts Wally says,"Open mine next this is something you'll really need to deal with your wife in sickness and health." The Package is rather small, inside is a bottle of Tylenol. Under that is a small homemade made book called a man's guide to dealing with PMS. There are four pages.
Page one says, "Stay out of her way!" Page two, if you can't do that remembers these wise words," Yes, dear whatever you say!" PAGE "Three Learn to Bake Brownies! "Page four if all of these fail take the Tylenol or Raid her bottle of Pamperin. Then put these in your ears. He pulls out some industrial earplugs. He also gets him a Book called the Complete Guide to the Creature's of Greek and Roman Myths, with a Pegasus on the cover.
Roy hands him a package similar in size and shape to the one that Selena gave Christina at the women's party. There's a Gotham Knights Football Jersey and Pants the Whole thing. Under that there's an outfit that looks like Aladdin's outfit from the animated movie. There is also a slave boy outfit.
"Which outfit you use will depend on your bride's mood. She might want you be her Prince one night, the next her personal slave. You better obey when she's in a slave/master mood, Roy says with a wink.
"Yea, no matter what anyone says, the woman is in control in the marriage," Wally says.
" I'm bored. Hey, Dick let's go crash the girl's party. I dated you're fiancée but can't say I trust her, besides the girls might've talked her into trying on some skimpy nighties. You don't wanta miss that do yea?" Roy says,
"No, I don't want to invade their privacy. They're probably engaging in girl talk. She might not have many chances after we get married. I think you've had too much to drink; you're even too drunk to walk," Dick says in a sensible if slightly intoxicated manner.
At the other party the ladies are eating drinking and making merry. Selena has a the same idea, "Let's give the guys a treat. Why don't we all crash the guy's party? When we show up they won't be paying attention to the Porn movie or stripper, whatever Mr. Harper has planned to entertain them. We'll make sure of that, meow!"
"We're all in our nightclothes besides you know what they say about not seeing the bride before the wedding. It's bad luck. As much fun as it might be we probably shouldn't," Christina counters "Aw, come on, it'll be fun, I can't wait to see the looks on the boys faces, especially the groom to be and Bruce's if he's there. You can MODEL your new nightwear for him. That will divert his attention from any lesser women Roy has pushed on him. I mean the Stripper and Porn actresses," Toni pleads Maybe it was the 2 glasses of wine maybe it was just the whole party atmosphere but Christina changes her mind. She grabs a couple her presents. The others pick up the Q and get the Rest the head to the gardener's Quarters.
When they get there things are worse than she feared. Roy and Garth were dancing with each other. The other guys are lying half died on the floor while Debbie does Dallas is playing a large screen TV.
"Where is Dick?" Christina asks fearing the answer.
"The last time I saw my son he was head to the rest room screaming, Roy, what did you put in the punch and why did you let Tim drink it? He's a kid it might kill him? " Then he started yelling at me, saying I was a bad father to Tim and the two of you were going to seek custody of him. I had to remind him I wasn't Tim's Dad and Cody was safely with a babysitter," Bruce tells her.
"Yes, What did you put in the punch? Most of the Guys here look like an oil painting of Gettysburg without the blood and my husband to be is in the bathroom hugging the toilet probably with Tim next him," Christina says angrily.
Just then Dick and Tim emerge from bathroom all cleaned and ready for more fun. Dick sees the ladies and says, "Look Wally more girls are here!"
"I think I know you and you and you, pointing at Christina, Barbara and Selena. Where's my Wife, I wanta give her a great big kiss. There she is," He says pointing at Roy.
He grabs the unsuspecting archer and plants a huge kiss his lips. Dick grabs the instant camera and says kiss her again. This should be in the scrape book. He obliges just before he realizes whom he's kissing.
Roy asks, "Why did you just kiss me Wally, and why did you encourage it, Robbie."
Wally says, "Hey I love yea man!"
Linda grabs the picture from Dick and asks her husband, "What will you give me to make sure this picture doesn't accidentally wind up as an attachment in an email to all your friends in the Justice League my dear husband?"
"Won't bother me Honey, you and old grim and grumpy both saw the kiss already. I'm not worried about any of the rest, are you Roy?" Wally replies "I don't know about you Flasher, but I have a rep to protect as a raging heterosexual. What if Donna saw us? Besides Clark and his Lovely wife are ace reporters. This might wind up on front page," Roy says with a drunken slur to his voice.
"OH, I'd never do that to you Wally. The people would never believe the Flash-kissing Arsenal anyway, even though there'd be a picture. Those can be faked." Clark laughs.
They might however believe you kissing the Flash! LOIS laughs. Those goofy outfits speedy wore. I meant no offense to you Dick. You looked better in those colors than he did, Lois laughs.
Oh that reminds me, we're giving you the gift of privacy on your honeymoon. We've told all of our press contacts to stay away from you on your honeymoon. It wasn't easy, since you gave us exclusive rights to the wedding pictures, which made a few of them angry. I think we persuaded them together though. Remember we don't know everyone but we do know lots of them, Lois says.
The Bride and Groom both say THANK YOU! Christina hugs them both and kisses Clark on the cheek. Clark, still the Kansas farm boy at heart blushes. Lois jokingly balls up her fist at Christina.
"Honey what are those," Dick asks pointing to the silky things in her Lap. "Are they for me? he asks hopefully.
I didn't know you liked to wear women's underwear but it takes all kinds I guess, Dinah "OH, just some shower gifts from our friends," Christina says with a coy smile.
I changed my mind I want to see you in em baby! I wants see what I missed out on Roy says with an Evil grin in Dick's direction.
His tone of voice changes as he says," I guess the better man won unless you want to give me another chance."
Donna says," What Am I Chopped Liver Red Who helped you change Lian's diapers, Me, Donna, not her!" She punches him on the arm.
"I know Wonder Doll, I'm sorry. That was just a temporary lapse. "I wov wo," Roy exclaims with his best little boy voice and puppy dog eyes. He kisses her deeply!
"Yuck, next time you're going to kiss me like that pop a breath mint! You smell like a distillery! That wasn't the best kiss I've ever gotten, Roy Boy! Donna chastises Dick kissed better than that when he was only 13 and in short pants! Bruce must've taught him!"
" Is that why you got into women's undies? It's not a big leap from those green short you know Robbie Roy laughs. Did you wax or shave your legs?
"You should KNOW you were there and doing it with me Roy!" Dick punctuates each word with a slap on the back. Roy falls into the punch bowl with last one.
Dick helps him out of the Bowl. They go into another room help Roy dry his hair. He'll probably have to wash it tomorrow morning when he's sober. If he doesn't he isn't coming to the wedding. He wouldn't look like much of a best man.
While the guys help Roy clean up the women are setting up a treat for them. They're picking out which of her new frilly nightwear to show to the guys. Should we show them the red one or the Black one or the white one? OH I know just the ones Christina says with A smile A few minutes later they peek out from behind the curtains on the makeshift probably set up for a stripper earlier that night.
The Guys yell loudly when they see Christina's hose /guarder clad leg. Next Donna sticks her leg out then Toni Linda, Dinah, and lastly Selena. This seems to raise even Bruce's blood pressure! A remake of I'm, too sexy remade by the bride herself is playing in the Background "
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love; Love's going to leave me I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan
The guys are getting restless by now Strip, Strip, Stripe they all scream lead by Roy.
As if on command they all stick out gloved hands. This gets the guys even more excited. The ladies then show their faces, fluttering their eyelashes and giving the men air kisses.
Wally says, "Come on show us the rest of you. We wanna see what Dick's going to see on his wedding night."
"IF you insist WALLY! The ladies say in unison." They step on stage and open their housecoats to reveal sweatshirt like nightgowns with fuzzy animal heads on them and flannel P.J.s.
"BOO! You tricked us," they all scream, except Dick who laughs. This really annoys the guys.
"Hey, I can wait till tomorrow night," Dick says with sly smile.
The single guys at the party say don't rub it in. You're marrying a beautiful woman. We still got to take our chances on the singles scene."
Just then an unexpected, and to many people there an unwanted, guest joins the party. Jean Paul, AKA AZERAL burst through the door.
"Forgive me, gentlemen, Mon Cheri, I just had to see the bride one last time before she marries Richard." He grabs Christina's hand, draws her closer and kisses her on the mouth.
The Men show him that He's not wanted there in any uncertain term and are about to show the French vigilante the door. Jean Paul begs them, "Please let me speak the words; I came to say, to the fair maiden."
"I love you, I have since I first saw you; you on your perch above the world, me on the ground, where men such as I belong. I am not worthy of a heart as pure as yours, but I just wanted one kiss before you were out of my reach forever. NO, I am not here to try to rob you of your bride as I did your birthright not long ago. I just longed to feel her lips on mine for the first and last time. Before I leave I just wish to deliver my present it is now up to you mon ami to protect her when awake but I hope this will protect you when you dream. I will go now on my own power, you need not force me. " He appears to be fighting back tears as he leaves.
Opening the box that he has handed to her Christina pulls out a Mandela made from feathers and beads. "Wow, a dream catcher!" Roy slurs," I ain't seen one of them since I left the reservation!"
After he's gone Christina and the other ladies realize how late it is and decide it's time for them to get ready for bed. The Guys reluctantly agree and head home either in cabs or with a designated driver.
Before heading to a separate wing of Wayne manor, Dick gives his bride to be one last kiss before turning in. Sleep well my love. This will be the last night we'll ever have to spend apart, my beautiful songbird.
When she gets to her room the first thing she sees is a rather odd looking plant, with a card that says from your "Two Hearts Fan Club. Tomorrow you start a new life sure to be filled with joy."
She changes into a soft white night gown with pink and red hearts. Then climbs under off white sheets with matching pillows. As she's setting in for the night, she notices a faintly sweet order in the room, unlike anything she's smelled before. There is something calming about it.
The smell of the plant easies her transition to dream land.
