Summary: Set about a year after Not Fade Away. Angel's not happy, neither is Buffy. But she comes to town and needs his help and he just needs her. Not a great summary, but let me know if I should finish it up.

Disclaimers: Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon own it all.

Feedback: Appreciated


Buffy woke with a start, her heart hammering in her chest. Although the sun was streaming into the room, the sheen of sweat on her uncovered body caused her to shiver and pull the covers up. She'd had the dream again; more vivid and real than when she was in that drugged state. Angel knew what it was all about and he was going to tell her, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know. She was still really good at living in denial.

Rolling onto her stomach Buffy looked out the window, another glorious Southern California day. She missed the sun. Living in England this past year she realized just how much she missed it. Not that she had spent all that much time basking in it, what with the slaying and all. But she always knew it was there. Joni Mitchell was right, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.

With that, her thoughts turned againto Angel. Her night stalking lover. The sweet, brooding Angel seemed to be gone. Replaced with a side of him Buffy had never really known. He was so definite, so demanding, so possessive. Not really Angelus, but a bit of him. It frightened her a little. And if she were totally honest, it excited her as well.

She shivered, more from her thoughts than any chill in the room, and slid out of bed. She tested her legs, not too bad. Her strength was beginning to return. Buffy felt something deep inside of her blossom and pop. All sorts of emotions, desires began to assert themselves in her mind and in her body. Running her hand through hair she attributed it all to the drugs.

A shower. That's what I need. A nice long shower to wash away these weird thoughts. Damn Angel and his drugs. And damn him for those eyes, and that body and why did he have to look like that and smell like that? She grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom.


Buffy came downstairs to find Angel preparing a very late breakfast. She slid onto a chair and looked at his strong back through the tight t-shirt he wore. He felt her gaze, but didn't turn until she spoke. "Am I going to have to hire a food tester or are you going to promise there's no drugs in the food?"

He set a fluffy omelet before her. "Hey, I already promised, no drugs. And good afternoon to you, too." He had forgotten how young she was. What was her age now, anyway? 23? 24? Old enough, but she still had the appearance of the teenage girl her fell in love with. Especially right now, fresh from the shower, smelling like apricots.

Buffy paused her fork in mid-air to look at him. "What are you thinking about?"

"How beautiful you are." He answered honestly.

She blushed, despite herself. "Too early for compliments. Besides," she looked up into his eyes, "I forgive you…I could forgive you anything." She was almost ashamed of herself for that admission, was this one of those co-dependent relationships you saw on afternoon television? It never seemed to matter what passed between them, she just kept loving him and wanting him. And right now she felt like she was home.

Both of them were silent, unable to move. Just losing themselves in each others eyes, each others soul.

Angel was the first to break contact, clearing his throat. "How's the omelet?" He felt surreal, as if he were floating in space. And he needed to pull himself back to earth.

"Great, really good." Buffy had jumped at his voice but kept hold of her fork, barely. She shoved in another mouthful, not really tasting it.

The effect he had on her was stronger, more intense than ever and she knew he had the same reaction to her. She could feel it, an almost tangible thing. As Spike would say, she was definitely love's bitch. The weird thing was, it felt really good.

She smiled up at him. "Three weeks, huh?"

Angel chuckled and sat down across from her. "Yeah, three weeks."

That had been a very intense encounter, his legs actually felt weak. No one but Buffy could ever make him feel this way. And if he lived another thousand years, no one else ever would.


The bead of sweat made an impatient path down between the perfect mounds of her breasts. Protected by the shade of a newly purchased umbrella, Angel watched in fascinated concentration, giving up all attempts to read the book he had brought out with him.

This had been his activity for the past two days as Buffy "worked on her tan".

"Angel, I need a bit of color before I go back to England. The pasty white gods attack as soon as you get off the plane and don't stop until every layer of color had been striped off. Just deal. Besides, you don't have to be out here with me, you know." She smiled with the knowledge that Angel wanted to be with her at all times.

So, Angel and Buffy made a field trip to Home Depot and purchased patio furniture. What a concept, Angel thought, furniture just for the patio.

Now, here he was watching Buffy in her barely-there bikini. Hypnotized by the rivulets of moisture that made paths throughout various parts of her body. Almost in agony, Angel had been attempting to read the same page in his book for the better part of an hour and was about to go in when Buffy appeared in front of him.

She stood between his legs andtouched his cheek as spoke. "So, your turn to tell me. Did you love her?"

He was driven to distraction. Buffy standing in front of him, heat, scents, emotions emanating from her. But he still knew what she what asking all the same.

"I loved her." She tried to pull away, but Angel held onto her. "I loved her Buffy, but I was never in love with her. We spent time together and I thought, maybe. But I would never lose my soul with her. And you know how she would've handled that. Glad that Angelus wasn't going to kill and totally pist that I didn't find perfect happiness with her." They both smiled at that, each with their own private memories of her. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Replacement parts that never quite fit."

"What?" He was forever saying little things that were meant to confuse her.

He shook his head to clear thoughts of Spike out. "It's only ever been you Buff." He pulled her onto his lap and nuzzled her neck, the spot where his mark lay. Her response was immediate as her arms went around his neck and she relaxed into his body.

Neither spoke nor really moved for minutes, just luxuriating in the feel of one another. Angel pulled her even closer and let out a growl that bordered on a purr.

Buffy felt herself begin to react. She wanted, she needed, she felt herself slipping away. He looked at her lips as she moistened them with her tongue and pulled her head to his as he gave her a soft kiss that quickly became heated. She was quickly losing herself in all her feelings. With her last moment of clarity, she jumped up from Angel's lap. "That is so not of the good. I need to clear my head. Think I'll go for a run, I haven't been out in days."

Buffy's face was flushed with desire and embarrassment so Angel decided to let her go. The possessiveness he felt with her was so intense, but if he were to convince her, he had to let her go. "Okay. Want to go out on patrol with me tonight? Or do you just want to relax, being on vacation and all?"

"Yes! Patrol. I have been relaxing too much. Besides, this can be, what do they call it, a trucker's holiday?"

"Busman's holiday. So okay, we'll go out tonight."

"What time are we leaving on patrol? I want to get back in time." She was so in the mood for this. She needed to get her pent up energy spent and this was the perfect way. If they couldn't have sex at least they could kill a bunch of demons.