The Results

Dr. Brown's hands shook as he held the envelope in his hands. The ink began to smear under his sweaty palms. He attempted to break the seal, but he could not bring himself to do so.

After Ephram's emotional monologue, he decided he should be tested for the HIV virus. Ephram feared greatly what might happen to his father if he was to get the disease. Delia and he had already lost one parent. He couldn't lose another.

Dr. Brown had broken off his relationship, but he could not erase the physical relationship Linda and he had had. They had dated for several months, and although they used protection, a person could never be completely sure they hadn't contracted the disease. They had been extremely cautious, but it wasn't enough.

Ephram had planted the idea in his head, and it would not leave. It nagged at his every being. He tried to put it from his mind, but regardless, it returned once again. What if Linda and he had not been safe enough? Ephram had rattled his brain. He had decided that he had to be tested.

The envelope remained in his limp hand. He couldn't do it. He couldn't open the envelop. He longed to know what the results said, but he refused to open the letter in fear of the results.

He had gone into town to have the blood test done. Dr. Abbott and he were the only doctors in town, and he did not want anyone to know. Rumors spread like wildfire in Everwood.

He remembered how anxious he was as he walked into the waiting room. He approached the counter and gave his name in a hushed tone. "Andrew Brown."

"Oh, good morning Dr. Brown. Please fill out these papers with all your past medical information." Her voice seemed to echo off the walls. He clenched his teeth.

He found a seat in the corner and began to write down his medical history. His eyes remained focused on the sheet of paper in front of him, but he could feel all eyes staring straight at him. He was convinced that every other patient in the waiting room was looking right at him. He returned the paperwork to the counter and waited for fifteen minutes. The time dragged on. He must have looked at his watch ten times within the fifteen minute span. When the nurse called his name, he jumped out of his seat. As he followed the nurse down the hall, he felt the penetrating eyes once more. He felt as if they all knew why he was there.

He was led into a room and asked to sit and wait. Everything ran through his mind. Was he really in a doctor's office waiting to be tested for the HIV virus? It was unreal. He looked around at the room. The white walls and sterile table made him feel awkward. This setting should have been familiar to him, but now that he was the patient, he felt out of place and strange. It was safe when you were the man making the diagnoses; not the opposite. He tried to bring his mind back to reality. He frantically searched for a new topic to keep his mind busy. Furniture! That's it, furniture! His mind grabbed the topic and would not let it go. He had been meaning to purchase new furniture. Ephram had constantly complained about their old sofa. Ephram! Ephram was so upset with him. It all came tumbling back. His heart had begun to thump in his chest. The pounding seemed to echo throughout his skull. He clenched his fist in an attempt to regain his composure. His body had begun to quake in an uncontrollable manner. His heart continued to beat hard against his rib cage. The organ felt as if it would burst from his chest.

The door slowly opened and a tall woman in white entered the room. Her red hair fell across her shoulders. Andy immediently thought of Linda. He began to remember the day she had told him. His emotions were a mix of fear, anger, and sorrow. He could remember his first reaction. No, how could it be. She was so healthy. He loved her so much. But he had accepted it and wanted to pursue their relationship.

The nurse smiled at him, and he responded with a nervous grin.

"Andrew Brown?"

"Yes."

"Ok, can you hold your arm out for me, please?" Her tone told Andy that she knew his whole story. He clenched his teeth to restrain himself. He held out his shaky limb. She began the process of finding a vein. The routine procedure seemed to take an eternity. The needle was in a series of seconds, but Andy had struggled through the moment.

"That's it. We'll send you the results."

He jumped from his seat and walked briskly down the hall. The eyes once again seemed to follow him.

He could remember that day so vividly. It would probably never leave his mind. The envelope remained in his hands. He knew he had to read the letter. Slowly, he began to tear the paper. When his task was completed, he pulled the contents of the envelop out. He took several seconds to unfold the letter. He was not in a hurry to know the verdict. Once the letter was unfolded, he slowly began to read the note. His eyes wandered over several numbers and other medical terminology. Usually it would have been the first thing he read, but not this time. His eyes finally came into focus with the answer.

"Positive," his mouth managed to shape the word.