Just as a reminder : thoughts are in italics
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Chapter 4 : What to do ?
Professor Severus Snape, formidable potion master, former death-eater, ban of the existence of the Gryffindor house as a whole, was currently on the verge of panicking. He had gulped down an unidentified substance, created by the worst potion makers that had ever walked down on earth. And he still did not have the slightest clue as to what it could be.
Ever the since that fateful Monday afternoon, when he had mistaken Potter's and Longbottom's "creation" for tea and had accidentally drunk it up, he had spent all his free time searching for an antidote. He even had missed several meals to do so, arousing the worry of his colleagues and of Albus. He had only gone to dinner once, in order to alleviate some of Dumbledore's suspicions. It had gone so bad, with him getting aroused by Potter simply watching him, that he had not repeated the experience again. If only he could at least find what the hell the potion was composed of!
It cannot be made only of the ingredients that were supposed to be in the potion we were studying... Snape thought, still engrossed in his research, surrounded by all sorts of strange materials and tools, which use only Snape could know. He had tried to be rational about it. Before even analysing the potion itself, he had tried to list the effects the potion had on him.
Well, if it were not obvious, this potion makes me lust for Potter Snape snarled in his mind. Only it was not that simple. Lust potions could be dealt with, providing you had the proper counter-ingredients. No, the problem was that this particular potion made him feel something stronger for the young man. In addition to the embarrassing lust he felt, which was making him hard whenever he even thought of Potter, he also felt a strong urge to protect the brat, to give his life for his if need be. Furthermore, he had that strange butterfly-feeling in his stomach whenever he saw Harry or smelt a perfume reminding him of Harry's. And that damn substance was not only affecting his feelings and emotions. It was also affecting his actions. He did not even have control over his body movements when near the boy.
A strong surge of shame invaded him as he recalled what had happened on Tuesday. After the disaster in the great hall at dinner, he had fled as fast as he could and had taken a walk through Hogwarts in order to calm himself and to take control of his... body reactions. His feet had carried him to the Gryffindor tower without him noticing. When he had realised where he was, he had immediately turned back in order to regain his quarters as soon as possible. But someone was on his way and had collided with him. As he had been falling forward, onto the body of the person he had collided with, he had recognized Potter at once.
Being able to touch him! Merlin, it had felt like heaven. His face buried in the Gryffindor's neck, he had breathed deeply the intoxicating scent of his obsession. And when the boy had spoken... God, that sweet voice had created shivers all over his body, especially in all the parts that were touching the oh-so-perfect body of Harry Potter. This moment had not lasted long enough. When he had to get up, he had tried to act like his old self. But seeing him there... knowing he had just touched him and that he could do it again...
Snape took his head in his hands and let out a long pain-filled wail. He was becoming mad. Mad from all this desire, all this longing that he could not express and that was totally unnatural, provoked by the very substance he was analysing to discover its secrets. If he were not so implicated, he would have admired Potter and Longbottom for having created a new kind of love potion. Love potion... For there was no doubt about it... This potion had made him fall in love with the Potter brat.
That was another mystery that Snape was trying to uncovered. How come the potion hade made him love Potter and not somebody else? There had been no visual contact with him after he accidentally drank the potion. The other possibility was simply too ridiculous. Some love potions worked only if there was already some sort of attraction between the person who drank the potion and his future obsession. But he had not felt anything for Potter before drinking the potion, he was sure of it. Or had he? He could not remember anymore. The potion was clouding his memories concerning his previous feelings for Harry.
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"Severus?"
Snape jumped. He had been so far gone in his thoughts that he had not even noticed the headmaster entering his quarters.
"Headmaster! I thought you of all people would have had the decency to knock before coming in!"
"Well, I knocked, but you did not respond... I was afraid you had troubles or were in some kind of pain."
Some kind of pain...Yes, I think that is exactly what I feel. But I cannot let Albus know. If he discovers that I lust after his precious, pure golden boy, I would be sacked before I had time to say 'potion'. I'd better use my occlumency skills around him till I find a remedy to that blasted poison!
"Severus? Are you alright? You seem to be lost in though quite frequently these days..."
"I am perfectly fine, headmaster, thank you for your concern." Does he already know? Merlin, please no. Hogwarts is my only home... I don't know what I'd do if I were to leave...
Cooling himself internally and presenting his usual self externally, he then asked. "May I know the reason of your coming here?"
"Of course, Severus. No need to be so formal around me. I came because I am worried about you."
"I assure you, there is nothing to worry about. Like I said, I am perfectly fine."
"But you only have attended one meal in four days. I understand if you work on a research project, for you always are the perfectionist, but neglecting your health will not help you in the long run, trust me." Dumbledore said, looking pointedly at Snape's work tools scattered around the room
"Very well. I shall attend more meals then." Snape said, desperate for Dumbledore to leave him so he could continue his research.
Dumbledore looked at him intently through his half-moon glasses. Snape caught his breath and use all his strength as an occlumens to protect his mind's secrets, while praying in his heart with all his might that Dumbledore was not a better legilimens than the Dark Lord.
"I do hope" Dumbledore went on "that the cause of your problems is not mister Potter?"
Snape's blood ran cold. "I do not see how this arrogant child could be any cause of concern for me." He spat, hoping that Dumbledore would drop the subject.
"Well, you seemed pretty much opposed to the idea of giving him occlumency lessons the other day. And your missing meals has started the very day after our conversation. I came to believe that was the cause of your withdrawal..."
Relief flooded in Snape like water on a dying plant. He silently thanked Merlin, God and all the deities he could think of, all the while keeping a strait and impassive expression.
"No Albus. Do not worry. I was merely preoccupied with a research of mine which is not going to my liking and which is proving to be more difficult than what I expected." Which is a huge understatement. "While I am not exactly ecstatic about the potentiality of giving Mr Potter occlumency lessons, this issue is not enough to bother me to the point of missing meals. You can go reassured and leave me to my researches."
"Very well, Severus. But if you ever need an understanding ear to your troubles, my door will always be open to you. Somehow I feel that your studies are not the only thing that is bothering you..."
Snape remained impassive and soon Dumbledore left after saying his goodbyes. Once the door was closed again, Snape released a loud breath and collapsed on his chair. These kinds of confrontation were trying his nerves.
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Immediately, he took over his work at a frantic pace. About three hours later, while one of his attempts at an antidote was shimmering on the fire, he brutally remembered giving Potter a detention on Friday. That meant he would be alone with the boy all evening tomorrow. While his mind was desperate, a certain part of his body immediately reacted to the thought. Snape groaned. Even during his time as a teenager, he had never been that hard this often.
Focus, Severus. Focus... Stop thinking of this brat, of this sensual, sexy brat. Think potion, think antidote... But this autosuggestion failed miserably, as usual, and he was once again reduced to masturbation. I can't go on like this any longer. I have to find a cure... and quickly.
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Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room
"I can't go on anymore!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his book of potion on the floor.
Hermione cast him a reproachful look from behind her book of History.
"You have to try harder. After all, you should have done your essay just after professor Snape gave it to us... which means four days ago!"
"Come on, 'Mione! We have the whole week-end to do it, it's only Friday! We won't see the greasy git before Monday afternoon..." Ron whined.
"Speaking of which, aren't you suppose to go on a detention with Snape this afternoon?" Hermione asked Harry.
Harry groaned, dejected.
"Yes, but only after dinner. Please, can we talk of something else while I'm still free, it's sad enough that I have to miss the quidditch practice to scrub cauldrons all night long..."
"Perhaps you'll only have to list potion ingredients..." Ron said, trying to be helpful and totally failing if the dark glare Harry sent his way was of any indication.
Harry opened his mouth, probably to retort something sarcastic to Ron's remark, but Hermione cut him.
"OK guys. That's enough for now. Let's go to the Great Hall, I'm starving."
Harry moaned. Having dinner meant he'd have to go to the dungeons very soon and the last thing you could say was that he was looking forward to it. Ron, of course, was already up and made his way, followed by Hermione, to the exit.
Harry sighted. No matter what, he would have to go to this detention, so it was better to gain energy for this looooooonnnng session of scrubbing cauldrons while being insulted about his intelligence, or more so his lack of intelligence, and of course about his parents.
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"Snape's still not here" Hermione noticed as their plates filled with food.
"Perhaps he's scheming how to torture Harry tonight." Ron ventured, his mouth full.
Harry shot him a dark glare that went totally unnoticed.
"Nah, I don't think so." Dean said. "He had four days to do it. Personally, I think he has already planned the torture session and is currently laughing malevolently, waiting for Harry in his dungeons."
"Ah ah. Very funny Dean..." Harry said gloomily.
Despite all his prayers, dinner finished quite rapidly and Harry had to leave the Great Hall to go to the dungeons for his detention. As he was standing and leaving the Great Hall, Fred and George thought funny to put their hands over their mouths so as to imitate trumpets and they mock- played the funeral march, while Dean asked him if he could have his firebolt as a legacy. Harry made a very crude gesture involving his middle finger and went down to the dungeons.
The truth was, he was downright scared of this detention. He still remembered quite clearly the face and expression Snape had when he had pitched on him on Tuesday evening. He had not seen Snape since then, but he had that distinct sense of foreboding which was telling him that he was going right into trouble. Harry sighted. Whatever his apprehension was, he had no choice. Straightening his back, he resolutely knocked on his potion professor's door, trying to keep his fear at bay and confront Snape with the legendary courage of Gryffindors.
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To be continued...
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A big thank you especially to Elehyn and Strigoi, your reviews really warmed my heart (don't worry, Strigoi, things are going to get worse ). And I won't abandon this story, blubb-blubb, even if I have to chain myself to a desk to finish it!
