It was the first day of the new year at Hogwarts. All the students were assembled at their tables in the Great Hall, waiting for the Sorting to begin.
"Where is Professor Snape?" asked Hermione, who was scanning the Professors' Table.
"Why should I bloody care? Maybe he got eaten by a Giant Niffler. It would serve that git right!" said Ron.
"Wait, isn't that Professor Snape over there?" said Harry, motioning over towards the Slytherin table.
A tall figure with black hair and a class robe that was much too small for him was making his way over to the Slytherin table.
"My gosh! That IS Snape!" shouted Ron. "What is he in class robes for?"
"Attention everyone!" said Dumbledore. "Welcome back to Hogwarts. There will be a few changes this year. The class of Potions will now be taught by Peeves. Professor Snape will be enrolled as a student this year. I expect everyone to treat him with respect. Now, Severus, would you like to be the first to get sorted?"
Professor Snape looked up from the Slytherin table. "I assumed I would be in Slytherin house. After all, I was the head of it for years and I was a member of it myself back when I was in school the first time."
"Come, come Severus! Sorting is a tradition! All first years have to do it," said Professor Dumbledore as he walked to the Slytherin table, hat in hand. "Well, if Snapey won't come to the hat, the hat will come to Snape. Ole!!" he shouted, shoving the hat on Professor Snape's head.
"Hmm... you certainly seem like a Slytherin to me," mused the hat. "But since I think you're a git in a rather funny situation, I'll mess with you a little bit -- GRYFFINDOR!"
Everyone was still in shock as Professor Snape reluctantly moved to the Gryffindor table.
"Take back what I said about the Nifflers, this is much better than that," whispered Ron as Hermione and Harry giggled.
"Now, dig into the feast!" exclaimed Dumbledore. With a wave of his hand, the tables were covered with food.
"So, Snapey, what's it feel like to be in Gryffindor?" asked Fred Weasley, who was holding up a chicken leg like a microphone.
"Oh come on, Snapey. Don't look so excited," added George.
Just when Snape thought things couldn't get any worse for him, Dumbledore walked over to the table.
"Oh, Severus! I made a slight miscalculation with the rooms this year. There are no more available beds in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitory." said Dumbledore.
"Do I get to be in Slytherin?" asked Snape hopefully.
"I'm afraid not, Severus. You will have your room in the Girls Dorm, actually," said Dumbledore. "Now, I'll let you get back to your dinner."
Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil looked outraged, but even their reaction didn't compare with Professor Snape's. His face looked like a mixture between "WTF?" and "Kill me now!"
"Snape, you lady's man!" said Lee Jordan, taping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, man. We all wish we could be in the Girls Dorm. I'd like to see Angelina Johnson in her pajamas, grrowl!" added Fred.
"Just remember two little words of advice, Snapey," said George. "Statutory Rape. Now to the Girls Dorm with you, you sly little devil!"
Professor Snape made his way up to the Girls Dormitory and started unpacking. Suddenly, Lavender and Parvati walked up to him.
"We all think it's really gross that a middle-aged man would be sent to live with us in the Girls Dorm," said Lavender.
"Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date," Snape said cooly.
Lavender and Parvati looked outraged then went to their own beds.
Just then, Hermione Granger came up to him. "So, you were a Professor all those years, but you never actually finished school? I think Dumbledore made a mistake putting you here. If you didn't do the work, you should be held accountable for it. Had it been my decision, I would have kicked you out."
"Well, it wasn't your decision now was it? But for your information, this is all a misunderstanding and I expect to regain my position in a few days," said Professor Snape as he unfolded his pajamas.
"THOSE are your pajamas?" Hermione said looking at him. "Yuck! That certainly doesn't leave enough to the imagination."
"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, Miss Granger... like a coma."
Hermione stuck out her tongue and Professor Snape stuck his out right back at her. He pulled back his covers, slid into bed, and turned off the light.
"Where is Professor Snape?" asked Hermione, who was scanning the Professors' Table.
"Why should I bloody care? Maybe he got eaten by a Giant Niffler. It would serve that git right!" said Ron.
"Wait, isn't that Professor Snape over there?" said Harry, motioning over towards the Slytherin table.
A tall figure with black hair and a class robe that was much too small for him was making his way over to the Slytherin table.
"My gosh! That IS Snape!" shouted Ron. "What is he in class robes for?"
"Attention everyone!" said Dumbledore. "Welcome back to Hogwarts. There will be a few changes this year. The class of Potions will now be taught by Peeves. Professor Snape will be enrolled as a student this year. I expect everyone to treat him with respect. Now, Severus, would you like to be the first to get sorted?"
Professor Snape looked up from the Slytherin table. "I assumed I would be in Slytherin house. After all, I was the head of it for years and I was a member of it myself back when I was in school the first time."
"Come, come Severus! Sorting is a tradition! All first years have to do it," said Professor Dumbledore as he walked to the Slytherin table, hat in hand. "Well, if Snapey won't come to the hat, the hat will come to Snape. Ole!!" he shouted, shoving the hat on Professor Snape's head.
"Hmm... you certainly seem like a Slytherin to me," mused the hat. "But since I think you're a git in a rather funny situation, I'll mess with you a little bit -- GRYFFINDOR!"
Everyone was still in shock as Professor Snape reluctantly moved to the Gryffindor table.
"Take back what I said about the Nifflers, this is much better than that," whispered Ron as Hermione and Harry giggled.
"Now, dig into the feast!" exclaimed Dumbledore. With a wave of his hand, the tables were covered with food.
"So, Snapey, what's it feel like to be in Gryffindor?" asked Fred Weasley, who was holding up a chicken leg like a microphone.
"Oh come on, Snapey. Don't look so excited," added George.
Just when Snape thought things couldn't get any worse for him, Dumbledore walked over to the table.
"Oh, Severus! I made a slight miscalculation with the rooms this year. There are no more available beds in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitory." said Dumbledore.
"Do I get to be in Slytherin?" asked Snape hopefully.
"I'm afraid not, Severus. You will have your room in the Girls Dorm, actually," said Dumbledore. "Now, I'll let you get back to your dinner."
Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil looked outraged, but even their reaction didn't compare with Professor Snape's. His face looked like a mixture between "WTF?" and "Kill me now!"
"Snape, you lady's man!" said Lee Jordan, taping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, man. We all wish we could be in the Girls Dorm. I'd like to see Angelina Johnson in her pajamas, grrowl!" added Fred.
"Just remember two little words of advice, Snapey," said George. "Statutory Rape. Now to the Girls Dorm with you, you sly little devil!"
Professor Snape made his way up to the Girls Dormitory and started unpacking. Suddenly, Lavender and Parvati walked up to him.
"We all think it's really gross that a middle-aged man would be sent to live with us in the Girls Dorm," said Lavender.
"Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date," Snape said cooly.
Lavender and Parvati looked outraged then went to their own beds.
Just then, Hermione Granger came up to him. "So, you were a Professor all those years, but you never actually finished school? I think Dumbledore made a mistake putting you here. If you didn't do the work, you should be held accountable for it. Had it been my decision, I would have kicked you out."
"Well, it wasn't your decision now was it? But for your information, this is all a misunderstanding and I expect to regain my position in a few days," said Professor Snape as he unfolded his pajamas.
"THOSE are your pajamas?" Hermione said looking at him. "Yuck! That certainly doesn't leave enough to the imagination."
"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, Miss Granger... like a coma."
Hermione stuck out her tongue and Professor Snape stuck his out right back at her. He pulled back his covers, slid into bed, and turned off the light.
