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Escaping The Pain

Chapter Two: Saying Goodbye

She stayed on the floor for a minute or two longer. She dressed her wounds and changed her shirt. She threw her old shirt out; it had some blood on it. She didn't think it'd ever come out. She stepped back into her bedroom and looked into the big mirror on her dresser.

Why do I feel so empty and alone inside? I need something, someone to make this go away. What's wrong with me? I've always been happy. I love my job, my friends. She looked around her apartment. She felt a void in the air. Old magazines cluttered her coffee table. Old take-out containers were in the refrigerator. She picked up the trash can and threw the magazines and food away, then took the trash out.

Maybe I should just leave too. Find a new life. A different voice entered her mind (No she's not schizophrenic.). You can't leave. You know you really don't want to. Stop thinking that. Grissom won't completely leave. You know that. He couldn't do that. You'll still see him. Don't feel so lonely. You have all those people who care about you.

Who?

Catherine, Warrick, Greg, Brass, Grissom, Doc Robbins, Nick.

He cares about me.

They all do.

I know. But Nick seems like he cares a little more than everyone else.

Even Greg? He's always giving you attention. I think he likes you.

He does. But I just don't feel that way about him.

Of course not. You're always giving your attention to Grissom. Remember when he asked you for break and you said that you would.

But I didn't. I got caught up with-

Grissom.

She stopped thinking. She was back in her apartment. Not aware that she ever moved from the garbage bin. She had 20 minutes left before she had to leave for work.

So Sara went and bought Grissom a goodbye gift. An entomology book that she heard Grissom saying that he wanted.

When she arrived at work, it looked like they had set up the conference room like a party room. It was his last night so Catherine decided that if he really was going to leave that they ought to throw him a goodbye party. There were balloons, banners, and party hats. Catherine had also bought a gift for him. So did Lindsey. Catherine was trying to get Greg to give up some of his Blue Hawaiian coffee.

"Catherine, you do realize that this is my special coffee right? I don't know if I can part with it."

"Greg!! One, it's coffee. Two, it's Grissom's last night. The least you can do is give up the coffee. Please?" She gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Alright!" And with that he surrendered the coffee to her.

Sara was watching in the doorway.

"Hey Sara." Greg said with his goofy smile. "I see you've also bought Gris a present."

"Yeah. It's this book he wants. What'd you guys get him?"

"I got him a Black Flag CD. To remember me."

"How could he forget you?" Sara said with a laugh.

"I got him a picture of the gang. Hopefully he'll miss us to much to stay away to long." There were tears already threatening to spill from her eyes.

Nick was coming down the hallway, whistling some song stuck in his head. He too carried a package wrapped with colorful paper.

"Hey Nicky." Sara said, smiling. She felt like she was happy.

"Hey Sara."

"What'd you get Grissom?"

"It's a surprise." Nick said with smile. It wasn't really a secret but he thought he would keep her guessing. It was a bug that he saw at a store out of town, looked up, and found that it was some rare bug. So he went back and bought it for him.

Warrick was soon to come. He too carried a small, wrapped package. It was a scrapbook of cases they had solved and pictures of them all.

"Hey Sara."

"Hey Warrick. What'd you get Grissom?"

"I made a scrapbook of all the cases we've solved and there are some pictures of us. I always keep two of those types of things just in case something happens to one of the sets."

"That's so sweet of you Warrick."

His smile said "Oh no big deal."

They waited to or three more minutes before Grissom finally arrived. They blew on little kazoo's when he walked in.

"Hey gang."

"Hey Grissom!" They all shouted.

"You didn't have to do this."

"Of course we did!" Catherine shouted. "What kind of people would we be if we didn't do anything for you on your last night?"

"Okay. Well. Thank you."

Nick put on some music. And they sat around the table and talked for a little while.

Sara was enjoying herself. And didn't think about her arm at all. They all danced. Sara with Nick. Catherine with Warrick. Greg offered to dance with Grissom but he declined. Greg didn't take that to well so he grabbed Grissom's arms and danced with him anyway. Brass and Doc Robbins walked in at the sight of them all dancing with each other and they chuckled. It really was a sight to see.

"I'll be right back." Catherine said. She smiled sneakily and walked out to her car. She returned, cake in hand. "I wasn't completely sure what your favorite flavor was so I got vanilla cake with chocolate icing. I hope you like it."

"I love it."

Sara put some candles on it and they all sang "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" around Grissom.

It was about 2:00 and they were on a sugar high. They played games. Like slapjack, a poor attempt at Spin The Bottle, and Pin The Tail On The Donkey with Brass as the donkey.

It was time to open presents. Catherine went first. Lindsey had made a macaroni picture of bugs. He loved their gifts. Greg handed Grissom his CD. Grissom laughed. Nick went next. Grissom had informed him that he already had one of the same species but he flattered by the gift. Sara handed her gift to Grissom. He loved that too. He was hoping that someone had heard that he wanted it. Warrick went last (Brass and Robbins didn't really get him anything. Just cards.). This was the first time they'd ever seen Grissom so close to tears. The tears were not only for Warrick's gifts but for all of them.

After all this, how can he still leave us? Sara thought to herself. She wanted so badly to scream it at him but her lips wouldn't budge. She also wanted to grab the cake knife and dig a few more cuts into herself but that just wasn't possible.