Disclaimer: None of the recognizable characters and settings belong to me. They are all the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing around with them for the fun of it…no monetary gain is sought.

This story is dedicated to scattered logic for her cherished friendship and all her invaluable help. :

Chapter Five: Echoes From The Past

Caught in the grip of a confused haze, Minerva slowly stumbled her way up out of the depths of the dungeon. She took three wrong turns before finding her path to the main staircase; something that would be unthinkable under other circumstances, but her mind felt frozen, unable to function as it normally did. Paying proper attention to her surroundings seemed to take more effort than she could muster with her thoughts so full of the past.

Hot burning pain licked at her back, accompanied by angry voices and churning emotion. Shivering, she hunched her shoulders protectively and forced it back and moved onward. Her fumbling hand slid along the welcome coolness of the stone wall at her side. For a moment, she paused and embraced it, pressing her forehead to the rough, slightly damp surface. Knowing its cool reality for what it was…an anchor.

A woman's cold voice echoed in her ears…"It's too late, my lady…it's too late…be sensible."

Minerva shook her head sharply to rid her mind of that voice. How she'd hated it. So many years had gone by yet she could hear it still…as clear as yesterday…as clear as forever.

Bright sharp shards of memory spun around and thrust themselves up through her mind, leaving jagged pulsing holes where they somehow managed to escape from the bindings with which she'd held them prisoner for so long. She was at sea in a confusing buzz of voices and images. Desperately, she sought to end the chaos…to reestablish the order of decades.

Halfway up the staircase to the ground floor, reality returned with a trembling lurch as she finally forced her way out of the enveloping snare of her mind. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking her dazed eyes to clear away the disturbing visions of the past.

"No…" whispered a voice in her ears…scratchy and unrecognizable as her own. "I won't do this. I won't allow this to happen. I won't. I'm stronger than this. The past is dead and gone. It will not overtake me again. I will not let it." With each word, her voice strengthened and her resolve returned.

Step by step, Minerva climbed the staircase up out of the gloom of the dungeon and the panicked quagmire of her thoughts. Severely chastising herself for allowing her memories to run away with her like this, she tried once more to bring order and rationality to her thoughts. Ian Standish was not worth unleashing the pain of the past over. Thankfully, he was no longer a factor in her life. No matter what had been true in the past, he held no power over her any longer. Surely there was no reason to panic at the mere thought that he was coming here.

Seeing him again would be unpleasant, certainly, but it should hardly be a traumatic event. She was a grown woman with an independent life and far too many responsibilities, and here she was becoming overwhelmed at the very thought that her ex-husband might show up at her door again. It'd been almost fifty years for goodness sake! In all that time, their paths had crossed only twice, and thankfully those times had largely passed without incident. So why assume that it will be any different this time? Why was his coming here hitting her this way?

A pang of concern drove deep. Perhaps because this meeting was so unexpected while she'd been warned well in advance of the others. Also, perhaps because this time they wouldn't be able to avoid each other so easily. They couldn't get by with simply nodding coldly to each other across a crowded room and then going their separate ways. This time, they'd have to speak. If he came here to evaluate the teaching at Hogwarts, they'd have to interact; it couldn't be avoided.

A sudden realization caused her step to falter. Ian was going to come into her home and interfere with the very heart of her life, and heaven help her, once more he'd have power over her…something she thought she'd escaped from for good.

Once the initial shock began to ease, she crossed the thankfully empty entrance hall and began to make her way up the main staircase towards her rooms. As she climbed higher and higher, her steps became more deliberate, her eyes, more able to focus on the external. Yet the nagging worries wouldn't quite let go…no matter how much she tried to reason them away.

Surely there was no point in her getting so worried over this. He wasn't coming to see her. The fact that she was here was merely coincidental. Wasn't it? Doubt pricked at her mind. Why would Ian suddenly take a position on the Board of Governors? If she remembered correctly, one was offered to him years ago, and at that time, he'd turned it down. Hogwarts held no interest for him then. There wasn't any profit in it. So what had changed? The Ian she remembered wouldn't have been likely to change his mind unless there was some advantage to himself in it. So what was it?

Of course, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility that what had changed were his priorities. Being a member of the Board of Governors for Hogwarts was a very prestigious position. Certainly there was no denying that fact. Perhaps he'd taken the job simply for power and image, and as a substitute for that which he might have felt he'd lost when he resigned from the Wizengemot. That certainly wouldn't be out of character.

Yet even if that was true, why would he allow them to appoint him to the no doubt thankless task of doing an evaluation of the school? Surely Ian would have been capable of seeing that this rather tedious assignment was given to the other new member of the board instead of to him, unless there was a reason that he wanted it for himself. Could that hypothetical reason have anything to do with her?

Minerva paused at the head of the fourth floor staircase and frowned. If Ian Standish was coming to Hogwarts there had to be a reason for it…other than the publicly stated one. There wasn't anything hypothetical about it. There was always a personal angle for Ian…something to gain. The sorting hat might have placed the man in Ravenclaw, but she'd always bet that if it had had another shot at him, once he'd fully matured, it would have been obvious that that wasn't where he really belonged.

Still feeling highly unsettled, though more in control than she'd felt when she'd begun her journey upwards, she began to walk down the quiet main corridor on the fourth floor. The staircases rumbled loudly behind her as they went through a flurry of readjustment. Not feeling up to playing their games at the moment, Minerva had decided that the most direct route to the privacy of her rooms probably lay through using the less flighty back stairs. However, before she'd managed to take more than a few steps past the library doors, a familiar voice called her back. Ordinarily she'd have been glad to hear the voice, been happy for the distraction, but not now…not tonight. Reluctantly, she stopped and turned back to face Irma Pince.

The librarian sighed as she came out of the library and locked the door behind her. Then she turned and headed up the hallway to meet up with her friend. "Good heavens, it's been a long day, hasn't it? I really need to sit down and get off my feet for awhile." She cocked her head and smiled.

"So who won the game tonight?" Irma asked pleasantly.

"Game?" The question made no sense to Minerva at all.

Irma looked surprised. "Yes, the chess game. Weren't you going to play with Severus this evening? I thought that's what you told me at dinner." Suddenly she really looked closely at her friend and frowned in concern at what she saw. "Minerva, are you all right? You look a little pale and, oh, I don't know, distracted maybe…upset. Did something happen? Did you and Severus have an argument? Goodness knows he's been in a foul mood for weeks."

A strange expression crossed Minerva's face as she struggled with an answer. How could she have forgotten that she'd told Irma about playing chess with Severus? This news about Ian was obviously still unsettling her more than it should be. "Oh, of course. Please, forgive me; my mind was on other things. No, we didn't argue. There's nothing wrong, Irma. I'm fine. Certainly there's nothing for you to be concerned about. I'm just a little tired that's all. As a matter of fact, I did go and play chess with Severus this evening. We just finished, and I was on my way back to my rooms when you caught me." She paused and finished awkwardly. "He won."

Doubtfully Irma nodded. "I see. Are you sure that you're all right? Because you don't…"

Minerva cut her off impatiently. "I told you that I'm fine. I'm just tired, that's all. Nothing to be concerned about."

"Okay." Startled by the obvious rebuke in her friend's tone, Irma decided not to argue. Perhaps a different tack would work better. "It's been a long day for everyone, I suppose. Would you like to come to my rooms for a nightcap? It might help you to relax."

And give you a chance to grill me some more? thought Minerva shrewdly. "No. Thank you, but not tonight. I have some essays that I still need to grade, and then I think I'll go to bed early. As I said, I'm really rather tired." She edged a couple of steps further down the hall.

"All right. Then I suppose I'll see you tomorrow. Are we still on for tea at the usual time?"

"Yes. Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then. Good night." Without waiting for a response, Minerva spun around and began to walk briskly up the corridor and out of sight. Leaving a rather perplexed Irma Pince to stare after her and wonder what the heck she was missing.

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Feeling every bit as tired as she'd professed to her friend, Minerva finally attained the sanctuary of her rooms. Once she'd managed to escape inside, she leaned back gratefully against the closed door. There were simply too many things to think about and none of them made the slightest bit of sense. A drink. What she really needed was a good stiff drink. Where had she put that bottle of whisky that she'd picked up over the summer and hadn't had occasion to touch yet? After getting so royally plastered at the beginning of the year that she didn't even remember going to bed with Severus, she'd pretty much given up drinking for awhile so she had to think for a moment to figure out where she'd stored it.

Not that their little liaison hadn't worked out all right in the long run. Well, more than all right actually, she considered with a faint smile, but it had still been quite a shock at the time. Waking up in his bed that way…on top of him…both of them absolutely naked. It was still a bit hard to believe, even after all that they'd done together since then. A shiver coursed through her, she really wasn't comfortable with losing control that way. It wouldn't do to make a similar mistake now either. So perhaps a drink wasn't what she really needed, after all. No. What she really needed was answers…explanations. Reassurances that whatever Ian was coming to Hogwarts for, it had nothing to do with her.

Slowly, she moved away from the door and waved the standing candles into flame. Then she started across the room to draw the drapes against the cold darkness outside, but before she got more than a few steps away, there came a knock, summoning her back. With a frown she turned and considered the door. It was probably Albus…or Severus. No, climbing all the way up here just to satisfy his curiosity was probably a bit beyond Severus at the moment. He'd be much more likely to simply show up in her fireplace demanding answers. Definitely Albus…good. Odds were good that he knew more than he'd told them downstairs, perhaps he could supply a few of the answers she sought.

With determined steps, she re-crossed to her chamber door and flung it open to reveal the tall figure of the Headmaster framed in the doorway, a slightly nervous expression shining in his eyes.

"Ah, Minerva. I'm glad I found you here. I wasn't quite sure where you'd gone when you left us."

"You could've told me in private, you know." She tossed accusing words at her friend without even waiting to invite him inside.

"Yes." Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "Perhaps that would've been wiser since I wasn't sure just how you'd feel about Ian's coming here, but it had been so long since you'd seen each other, at least as far as I knew, that I hoped that the information wouldn't turn out to be too much of a shock for you. However, I can see that I was wrong about that. Can you forgive me?"

With a sigh, she stepped back and ushered him into the room. "Let's discuss this inside, shall we?"

He nodded and entered the room, crossing to the davenport in front of the fire. She closed the door firmly and followed him. Then the two of them sat down together.

As she settled onto the cushions, she glanced uneasily at her companion. "I suppose you had to explain to Severus why I seemed upset at the idea of Ian Standish coming to Hogwarts." Why did that thought make her so uncomfortable?

Dumbledore nodded. "He was understandably curious about your reaction."

A sigh escaped her. "Yes, he would be. He always has to know everything that goes on around here, and this would be information that had never come his way before. Well, I can't do anything about Severus, but at least he's not a gossip. If anything, he hoards secrets like gold. I would like to keep my past relationship with Ian from becoming public knowledge and the topic of idle speculation and whispering, if at all possible, though."

Dumbledore reached over and took her hand in his, patting it reassuringly. "I certainly have no plans to announce it at dinner, Minerva, but once Ian's here, I can't control what he might tell people. Would it really matter that much if the truth got out? Your marriage to him was over more than forty years ago. That's a very long time, and surely it has no bearing on his coming here now."

Minerva's eyes clouded with concern once more. "Oh, I hope not. Simply hearing his name again after all this time brought…memories…swimming to the surface that I thought I'd buried for good. I truly hoped that I'd never have to see him again, Albus, and I can't help but wonder what's really bringing him to Hogwarts now. Why would he suddenly take a position on the Board of Governors of a school that he's never had any use for since he graduated from it? He didn't even send his sons here, preferring private tutoring. Not that I'm complaining about that, certainly, but still it's indicative of how much interest he's had in Hogwarts over the years. So I'm understandably suspicious of his motivation for this visit."

Dumbledore nodded. "I think you might be quite wise to be suspicious. Though perhaps his motivation might not be exactly what you've been concerned about. Severus had some interesting information of his own about Ian."

"Severus knows him?" Surprise tinged her voice. That possibility had never occurred to her.

"Not personally. However, Severus has heard him mentioned in passing, in circles that we had no idea he frequented. It seems that Ian Standish is a supporter of Voldemort. Apparently, he's served as a minor financial backer, for ventures in which Voldemort has had an interest, on more than one occasion."

"Oh dear," whispered Minerva softly as she pressed her fingers to her lips. "I don't know why that possibility never occurred to me, but it didn't. Is Severus sure?"

"He appeared to be, but he didn't know any actual details of Ian's involvement in Voldemort's plans. Personally I've never liked the man, knowing how he treated you during your time together, but I have had relatively close and superficially cordial dealings with him through our mutual involvement in the Wizengemot. Yet his involvement in Voldemort's affairs comes as a surprise to me. I'm usually better able to judge people than that. He certainly never gave me any reason to suspect that his feelings ran in that direction, though, and considering his influential position, it's very concerning. Both that he leans that way…and that I missed seeing it completely."

"You shouldn't blame yourself too much, Albus. Ian only let's you see what he wants you to see. He's a very shrewd man…and very careful. In the end, he almost always gets what he wants. Almost. That's primarily why I'm worried. He wouldn't be wasting his time coming here if there wasn't something personal to be gained by it. He's more than clever enough to have found a way to avoid taking on this job unless it had some advantage to him."

The Headmaster nodded and regarded her sympathetically. "And you're concerned that whatever his reason is, it might have something to do with you."

"I suppose that's a bit egocentric of me after all these years, and yet I can't dismiss it completely. Although after what you've told me, it could just as easily, and perhaps even more likely, have something to do with the dark plans of…Vol...demort." She stumbled a bit over the name, still not having the confidence to utter it aloud, but knowing that Albus preferred them not to give that creature's name excessive power over them, she was determined to try.

A somber expression graced Dumbledore's features. "Yes, I shall have to spend a bit of time looking into the current affairs of Mr. Ian Standish, I'm afraid. Since I sincerely doubt that he'll tell me up front exactly what has brought him to Hogwarts, it's going to take a bit of digging to ferret out the truth. Please, try not to worry though, Minerva. There's surely nothing that he can do to cause you any difficulties after all this time."

"I truly hope you're right, Albus," she whispered softly, though she couldn't quite suppress a shiver.