I'm in a good mood! I keep getting reviews! I love you all! ^squeezes all
reviewers in a hug^ Sorry...I'll try to restrain my emotions more.
I like this chapter quite a bit, so if you hate it, break it to me gently. Viviane and Morgause come in, and Gwen acts a little odd. But I love her like this. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I OWN IT! I DO! Okay, joking...do you really think I own anything other than the Director and his tech crew?
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Director: Action!
Morgaine: Engineer! Thuy is dead! He was going to kill my baby and I shot!
Mordred: You did what?!? Who is this?!? You'll be followed! Get him out of here! Good bye!
Morgaine: We must leave, Tam and I. We must set out for America tonight!
Mordred: Oh right! Just like that?! Tell me how, and while you're at it, tell me why.
Morgaine: I hear the voice of my soldier telling me to bring his son.
Accolon: I have a son?
Director: Shut up!
Mordred: You're telling me this half-breed brat is born the son of a Marine? Wait! Hold up! I thought Chris was a GI!
Director: Well, yeah...but...
Mordred: But nothing! How can you expect us to perform a play where the information is inconsistent?!?
Director: It says "marine" because "GI" doesn't rhyme with "seen".
Gwenhwyfar: Well, that's certainly stupid.
Director: I'm the director! You do NOT talk back to the director!
Gwenhwyfar: Yeah?! Well, I've been taking some drama classes...
Morgaine: I thought you thought acting was evil...ya know? Like, a sin or something? (A/N: Okay, if you people think I'm really calling acting a sin, then I'll write you a long e-mail about my 7 years of drama training.)
Gwenhwyfar: No. Acting is a wonderful form of self expression. Anyway, like I was saying-
Morgaine: So, I'm evil because I play the harp for people. And you're not because you dance, sing, and talk in front of people?
Gwenhwyfar: No. You're evil because you're a crazy witch, and I'm not because I'm a pure, good person.
Mordred: ^cough^ Affair with Lancelot... ^cough^
Gwenhwyfar: How dare you challenge your queen's authority!
Director: ^not wanting this to result in a fight^ So, what were you saying, Gwen?
Gwenhwyfar: Well, aren't we supposed to have a stage manager?
Director: ^blink^ Hey...that's a good point.
Morgaine: What do we need a stage manager for?
Director: Well, a stage manager makes lists of props needed, costumes needed, they help out with lights and sound, they make sure the artistic vision of the director is carried out after the show opens...they do a lot of stuff.
Lancelot: Sounds like we need one of these stage manager things.
Director: You're right! ^turns to tech crew^ So, who wants to be stage manager?
^the tech crew shuffles feet and looks at the floor^
Director: What's wrong? Why isn't anyone volunteering?
Random Tech Crew Member #2 (#1 died...remember?): Well, we don't really want to have to handle all of.them once the show opens.
Arthur and Elaine: ^from backstage^ So you hate us too?!? ^sob^
Mordred: You fiend! ^draws sword^
Director: Restrain him! And get me an aspirin!
Gwenhwyfar: ^opens box^ Here's an aspirin.
Director: Thank you. ^swallows it^ You know, Gwen...you're a real nice girl. And responsible too. Do you want to be stage manager?
Gwenhwyfar: YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!!! THE POSITION OF POWER IS FINALLY MINE!!!!!
^everyone is seriously disturbed^
Director: Um...what do you say, cast?
Morgaine: Will it make her shut up?
Gwenhwyfar: ^draws sword^
^random shouts of "Where'd she get that?!?^
Lancelot: I knew my scabbard was lighter than it should have been!
Gwenhwyfar: I will be stage manager, here me?!?
Morgaine: Okay...okay...
Director: Can we continue please? Gwen, you know what to do right? ^Gwen nods happily^ Okay...keep going!
Mordred: ^still being restrained by some random Queen's ladies people^ Where were we?
Morgaine: We were at the part where Chris reveals that he is actually a marine, not a GI.
Mordred: You're telling me this half breed brat is born the son of a marine? Let me see his western nose...this bastard is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!
Donnie: Thank you.
Morgaine: Shut up, kid.
Mordred: A passport in my hand...my new life can begin! You're brat's American, so they must let us in! In...the playground of mankind...the movie in my mind!
Donnie: Will there be swings there?
Mordred: Yes, Tam, now shut up.
Donnie: My name's not Tam.
Mordred: Yes it is. I'm going to legally change it. ^scribbles something on a piece of paper^ There. This paper declares that your name is Tam.
Director: ^more curious than angry^ Don't you need a parent to sign one of those things?
Mordred: Here, Mother. Sign it.
Morgaine: Okay. ^signs^
Director: But she's not his real mother.
Mordred: ^scribbles on another piece of paper^ There...an adoption form!
Elaine: ^coming back to the audience^ What if he doesn't want to be adopted?
Morgaine: Do you want me to be your mother?
Donnie..........er...Tam: Well, my other mom made me eat broccoli...so yeah!
Director: Don't you need some higher authority to sign those?
Arthur: ^walking onto the stage with a golden light on him and heavenly music playing^ I will sign those, for I am king!
^choirs of angels in song^
Arthur: Gwen, stop that! ^the lights go back to normal^
Gwenhwyfar: ^from the booth^ Sorry!
Arthur: No problem. ^signs papers^ There. You are now Tam, son of Morgaine and whoever the hell she says is your father.
Tam (formerly known as Donnie): Yay!
Mordred: Welcome to the family, brother!
Arthur: Yes, welcome, nephew.
^Mordred, Morgaine, Arthur, and Tam have a group hug^
Director: Guys...I'm sorry, but this is more sappiness than I can bear.
^everyone ignores him^
Gwenhwyfar: Hello, Tam. I'm your Aunt Gwen.
Lancelot: I'm your mother's cousin Lance.
Elaine: I'm your aunt's cousin Elaine.
Accolon: I'm your mother's boyfriend, Accolon.
^everyone glares at him^
Accolon: Well, what else could I tell him?
^Suddenly, out of nowhere, Viviane and Morgause appear!^
Viviane: Morgaine has a child?!? Who's the father?!? This boy could be a druid! Give him to me!
Morgause: ^fighting with Viviane to get there first^ No! I want that one! That way, if Mordred dies, I'll have a backup!
Mordred: Mother!
Morgause and Morgaine: What?!?
Morgause: I believe he was talking to me, Morgaine.
Morgaine: ^blushes^ Sorry. I've just been listening to him call me mother lately, and...well, I was kind of liking it.
^a chorus of "Awww's"^
Tam: Who are you two?
Viviane: I'm your mother's aunt, Viviane...Lady of the Lake.
Morgause: I'm your mother's other aunt, Morgause, Queen of Orkney!
Tam: Where's grandma?
Morgaine: Grandma's in a nunnery, poppet.
Tam: And grandpa?
Morgaine: Dead.
Director: Tam...out of curiosity, are you actually remembering your relation to all of these people?
Tam: Um...well, ^points at Elaine^ she's my aunt...
Arthur: No, Tam. She's your aunt's cousin. And your mother's cousin's wife.
Lancelot: Oh right...Elaine and I are married...I get it.
Director: I think you're confusing the poor boy. Can't we just continue?
Viviane: Not until we figure out who gets Morgaine's child this time! I think since Morgause got the last one, I should get this one!
Director: First of all, since it's "Morgaine's child", shouldn't Morgaine get it?
Gwenhwyfar: Oh no! Nobody raises their own children in Camelot!
Director: Okay...but second of all, should I point out that Tam is not actually Morgaine's child?
Morgause/Viviane: What?!?
Director: She just adopted him.
Morgause/Viviane: NO!!!!!!!!!!
Director: ^to Morgaine and Mordred^ You were raised by those two? ^they both nod^ I think I'm starting to understand where your oddness came from.
Morgause/Viviane: NO!!!!!!!!!!
Director: Listen, you two are disrupting rehearsal. Please sit in the audience quietly so we can continue. We haven't actually said a line from the play in three pages! That's a record!
Mordred: Right. ^to Tam^ I'm your dear brother from now on-
Director: Actually, Mordred, that comment is directed to Morgaine.
Mordred: Okay...whatever. ^to Morgaine^ I'm your dear brother from now on.
Arthur: First you take my throne, now you steal my position in the family! ^sniff^ I'm starting to think you dislike me.
Mordred: ^draws sword^
Morgause: Don't waste your time, Mordred. You have a task to complete. ^he puts the sword away^
Director: ^blink^ Wow, Morgause. You're actually somewhat useful. Continue.
Mordred: And all our family is gone. Boy, kiss your brand new Uncle Tran!
Tam: Oh, so YOU'RE my uncle. I thought it was that Arthur guy...
Morgaine: No, Arthur is your uncle, Tam.
Tam: But that guy just said he's my uncle!
Morgaine: No, he's your brother.
Tam: No, he's YOUR brother.
Morgaine: Tam, just shut up and play along.
Mordred: This kid is okay...he's our entrée to the USA! With these two little diamonds to bait my hooks, I'll book us on a cruise "boat people" deluxe! Don't worry 'bout the sharks out in the Mekong Bay...the pirates taking us are more scary any day! You just stay here and hide, don't show your face outside. Take care of our little dear...I'll go engineer! ^leaves^
Director: No, Mordred. Come back out. This last part is for you to say to the audience.
Mordred: Oh. Okay. If you want to die in bed, don't care too much for your country.
Arthur: ^grumbles unhappily^
Mordred: Hit the open sea instead, and float there like a cork! Uncle Ho, ho ho ho! I'll have to call you from New York! ^leaves^
Morgaine: ^looking at solo^ Ugh...so long. So boring.
Viviane (who somehow has a script): It's not boring, child. It's a song of devotion from a mother to her son.
Mordred: Something you wouldn't know much about.
Morgaine: What are you saying? I love Tam!
Mordred: ^bangs head against the wall^
Tam: I really want some ice cream.
Director: Tam, you can't get ice cream right now. We're in the middle of rehearsal.
Gwenhwyfar: That's true, but may I point out that we haven't had a break since Tam got here?
Director: How often do you people need breaks?
Lancelot: Judging by how rehearsal's going, I'd say pretty often.
Director: Fine, go take a break! Morgaine, you take Tam and find some ice cream!
Morgause: I'll go with you, dear niece!
Viviane: No, I'm going with her! ^they get into a fight in the aisle...Mordred laughs evilly^
Accolon: Whatever...I'll go with you.
Morgaine: Okay.
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Okay, someone told me in their review (theatre-goddess, I believe) that the campiness works well. I certainly hope that's true, seeing how this entire chapter is basically campy.
For anyone who's interested, I wrote this chapter after a class on Stage Managing (hence Gwen's new occupation).
Please read and review!
~Saranha
I like this chapter quite a bit, so if you hate it, break it to me gently. Viviane and Morgause come in, and Gwen acts a little odd. But I love her like this. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I OWN IT! I DO! Okay, joking...do you really think I own anything other than the Director and his tech crew?
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
Director: Action!
Morgaine: Engineer! Thuy is dead! He was going to kill my baby and I shot!
Mordred: You did what?!? Who is this?!? You'll be followed! Get him out of here! Good bye!
Morgaine: We must leave, Tam and I. We must set out for America tonight!
Mordred: Oh right! Just like that?! Tell me how, and while you're at it, tell me why.
Morgaine: I hear the voice of my soldier telling me to bring his son.
Accolon: I have a son?
Director: Shut up!
Mordred: You're telling me this half-breed brat is born the son of a Marine? Wait! Hold up! I thought Chris was a GI!
Director: Well, yeah...but...
Mordred: But nothing! How can you expect us to perform a play where the information is inconsistent?!?
Director: It says "marine" because "GI" doesn't rhyme with "seen".
Gwenhwyfar: Well, that's certainly stupid.
Director: I'm the director! You do NOT talk back to the director!
Gwenhwyfar: Yeah?! Well, I've been taking some drama classes...
Morgaine: I thought you thought acting was evil...ya know? Like, a sin or something? (A/N: Okay, if you people think I'm really calling acting a sin, then I'll write you a long e-mail about my 7 years of drama training.)
Gwenhwyfar: No. Acting is a wonderful form of self expression. Anyway, like I was saying-
Morgaine: So, I'm evil because I play the harp for people. And you're not because you dance, sing, and talk in front of people?
Gwenhwyfar: No. You're evil because you're a crazy witch, and I'm not because I'm a pure, good person.
Mordred: ^cough^ Affair with Lancelot... ^cough^
Gwenhwyfar: How dare you challenge your queen's authority!
Director: ^not wanting this to result in a fight^ So, what were you saying, Gwen?
Gwenhwyfar: Well, aren't we supposed to have a stage manager?
Director: ^blink^ Hey...that's a good point.
Morgaine: What do we need a stage manager for?
Director: Well, a stage manager makes lists of props needed, costumes needed, they help out with lights and sound, they make sure the artistic vision of the director is carried out after the show opens...they do a lot of stuff.
Lancelot: Sounds like we need one of these stage manager things.
Director: You're right! ^turns to tech crew^ So, who wants to be stage manager?
^the tech crew shuffles feet and looks at the floor^
Director: What's wrong? Why isn't anyone volunteering?
Random Tech Crew Member #2 (#1 died...remember?): Well, we don't really want to have to handle all of.them once the show opens.
Arthur and Elaine: ^from backstage^ So you hate us too?!? ^sob^
Mordred: You fiend! ^draws sword^
Director: Restrain him! And get me an aspirin!
Gwenhwyfar: ^opens box^ Here's an aspirin.
Director: Thank you. ^swallows it^ You know, Gwen...you're a real nice girl. And responsible too. Do you want to be stage manager?
Gwenhwyfar: YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!!! THE POSITION OF POWER IS FINALLY MINE!!!!!
^everyone is seriously disturbed^
Director: Um...what do you say, cast?
Morgaine: Will it make her shut up?
Gwenhwyfar: ^draws sword^
^random shouts of "Where'd she get that?!?^
Lancelot: I knew my scabbard was lighter than it should have been!
Gwenhwyfar: I will be stage manager, here me?!?
Morgaine: Okay...okay...
Director: Can we continue please? Gwen, you know what to do right? ^Gwen nods happily^ Okay...keep going!
Mordred: ^still being restrained by some random Queen's ladies people^ Where were we?
Morgaine: We were at the part where Chris reveals that he is actually a marine, not a GI.
Mordred: You're telling me this half breed brat is born the son of a marine? Let me see his western nose...this bastard is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!
Donnie: Thank you.
Morgaine: Shut up, kid.
Mordred: A passport in my hand...my new life can begin! You're brat's American, so they must let us in! In...the playground of mankind...the movie in my mind!
Donnie: Will there be swings there?
Mordred: Yes, Tam, now shut up.
Donnie: My name's not Tam.
Mordred: Yes it is. I'm going to legally change it. ^scribbles something on a piece of paper^ There. This paper declares that your name is Tam.
Director: ^more curious than angry^ Don't you need a parent to sign one of those things?
Mordred: Here, Mother. Sign it.
Morgaine: Okay. ^signs^
Director: But she's not his real mother.
Mordred: ^scribbles on another piece of paper^ There...an adoption form!
Elaine: ^coming back to the audience^ What if he doesn't want to be adopted?
Morgaine: Do you want me to be your mother?
Donnie..........er...Tam: Well, my other mom made me eat broccoli...so yeah!
Director: Don't you need some higher authority to sign those?
Arthur: ^walking onto the stage with a golden light on him and heavenly music playing^ I will sign those, for I am king!
^choirs of angels in song^
Arthur: Gwen, stop that! ^the lights go back to normal^
Gwenhwyfar: ^from the booth^ Sorry!
Arthur: No problem. ^signs papers^ There. You are now Tam, son of Morgaine and whoever the hell she says is your father.
Tam (formerly known as Donnie): Yay!
Mordred: Welcome to the family, brother!
Arthur: Yes, welcome, nephew.
^Mordred, Morgaine, Arthur, and Tam have a group hug^
Director: Guys...I'm sorry, but this is more sappiness than I can bear.
^everyone ignores him^
Gwenhwyfar: Hello, Tam. I'm your Aunt Gwen.
Lancelot: I'm your mother's cousin Lance.
Elaine: I'm your aunt's cousin Elaine.
Accolon: I'm your mother's boyfriend, Accolon.
^everyone glares at him^
Accolon: Well, what else could I tell him?
^Suddenly, out of nowhere, Viviane and Morgause appear!^
Viviane: Morgaine has a child?!? Who's the father?!? This boy could be a druid! Give him to me!
Morgause: ^fighting with Viviane to get there first^ No! I want that one! That way, if Mordred dies, I'll have a backup!
Mordred: Mother!
Morgause and Morgaine: What?!?
Morgause: I believe he was talking to me, Morgaine.
Morgaine: ^blushes^ Sorry. I've just been listening to him call me mother lately, and...well, I was kind of liking it.
^a chorus of "Awww's"^
Tam: Who are you two?
Viviane: I'm your mother's aunt, Viviane...Lady of the Lake.
Morgause: I'm your mother's other aunt, Morgause, Queen of Orkney!
Tam: Where's grandma?
Morgaine: Grandma's in a nunnery, poppet.
Tam: And grandpa?
Morgaine: Dead.
Director: Tam...out of curiosity, are you actually remembering your relation to all of these people?
Tam: Um...well, ^points at Elaine^ she's my aunt...
Arthur: No, Tam. She's your aunt's cousin. And your mother's cousin's wife.
Lancelot: Oh right...Elaine and I are married...I get it.
Director: I think you're confusing the poor boy. Can't we just continue?
Viviane: Not until we figure out who gets Morgaine's child this time! I think since Morgause got the last one, I should get this one!
Director: First of all, since it's "Morgaine's child", shouldn't Morgaine get it?
Gwenhwyfar: Oh no! Nobody raises their own children in Camelot!
Director: Okay...but second of all, should I point out that Tam is not actually Morgaine's child?
Morgause/Viviane: What?!?
Director: She just adopted him.
Morgause/Viviane: NO!!!!!!!!!!
Director: ^to Morgaine and Mordred^ You were raised by those two? ^they both nod^ I think I'm starting to understand where your oddness came from.
Morgause/Viviane: NO!!!!!!!!!!
Director: Listen, you two are disrupting rehearsal. Please sit in the audience quietly so we can continue. We haven't actually said a line from the play in three pages! That's a record!
Mordred: Right. ^to Tam^ I'm your dear brother from now on-
Director: Actually, Mordred, that comment is directed to Morgaine.
Mordred: Okay...whatever. ^to Morgaine^ I'm your dear brother from now on.
Arthur: First you take my throne, now you steal my position in the family! ^sniff^ I'm starting to think you dislike me.
Mordred: ^draws sword^
Morgause: Don't waste your time, Mordred. You have a task to complete. ^he puts the sword away^
Director: ^blink^ Wow, Morgause. You're actually somewhat useful. Continue.
Mordred: And all our family is gone. Boy, kiss your brand new Uncle Tran!
Tam: Oh, so YOU'RE my uncle. I thought it was that Arthur guy...
Morgaine: No, Arthur is your uncle, Tam.
Tam: But that guy just said he's my uncle!
Morgaine: No, he's your brother.
Tam: No, he's YOUR brother.
Morgaine: Tam, just shut up and play along.
Mordred: This kid is okay...he's our entrée to the USA! With these two little diamonds to bait my hooks, I'll book us on a cruise "boat people" deluxe! Don't worry 'bout the sharks out in the Mekong Bay...the pirates taking us are more scary any day! You just stay here and hide, don't show your face outside. Take care of our little dear...I'll go engineer! ^leaves^
Director: No, Mordred. Come back out. This last part is for you to say to the audience.
Mordred: Oh. Okay. If you want to die in bed, don't care too much for your country.
Arthur: ^grumbles unhappily^
Mordred: Hit the open sea instead, and float there like a cork! Uncle Ho, ho ho ho! I'll have to call you from New York! ^leaves^
Morgaine: ^looking at solo^ Ugh...so long. So boring.
Viviane (who somehow has a script): It's not boring, child. It's a song of devotion from a mother to her son.
Mordred: Something you wouldn't know much about.
Morgaine: What are you saying? I love Tam!
Mordred: ^bangs head against the wall^
Tam: I really want some ice cream.
Director: Tam, you can't get ice cream right now. We're in the middle of rehearsal.
Gwenhwyfar: That's true, but may I point out that we haven't had a break since Tam got here?
Director: How often do you people need breaks?
Lancelot: Judging by how rehearsal's going, I'd say pretty often.
Director: Fine, go take a break! Morgaine, you take Tam and find some ice cream!
Morgause: I'll go with you, dear niece!
Viviane: No, I'm going with her! ^they get into a fight in the aisle...Mordred laughs evilly^
Accolon: Whatever...I'll go with you.
Morgaine: Okay.
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Okay, someone told me in their review (theatre-goddess, I believe) that the campiness works well. I certainly hope that's true, seeing how this entire chapter is basically campy.
For anyone who's interested, I wrote this chapter after a class on Stage Managing (hence Gwen's new occupation).
Please read and review!
~Saranha
