(This chapter has been revised Finally after a few years!)
I've been thinking about this story for a while and I like the idea of it. Yes it is a Serena and Darien story. The setting is England the year 1820. I hope you guys like it. Just for some back ground info Darien is half French/mother and half English/ father, so he might slip into some French here or there in later chapters. There are a few French phrases in the Chp. Vous avez- aucune honte? La vérité est… means roughly "Have you know shame? The truth is…" Darien answers with "Je n'ai aucune honte à tout le chéri" "I have no shame at all darling" The name Remy is short for Remington and Shelly is short for Shelldon. I do not own SM. SM belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, I'm only using her characters to write my own stories. Well on with the Shields.
Serena sat crying softly on the window sill. Hadn't she been a good wife? A good mother? She had been the model wife, silent, dutiful, supporting all his decisions. She did everything to make this man happy.
She always stayed in the role of a wife and woman, being seen, but not heard. This was the role all women played, and she had supported her role to the very end.
But this, this was too much. She'd ignored the rumors of his many affairs, pretended to not be bothered by them.
As long as he never brought any of it around her or their children, she could bare it. But he had crossed the line and she could stay silent no longer.
She had her pride to protect. Well, even though much of it had been sacrificed in her efforts to be the perfect wife she still had her limits, and he had finally crossed them. For hers' and her boy's sake, she had to escape this marriage.
Serena burst into fresh tears. "Lace garters?" she sobbed.
She lifted the skimpy red undergarments, and cringed. She had found them or rather they had found her while she made her daily inspections of the rooms. She happened to be in Darien's room just when the maids were making his bed.
The poor unsuspecting creatures had been vigorously turning over his quilts which had caused the disgusting little garment to fly out of the sheets and land light as a feather beside her feet. She had never been so disgraced in her own home.
There had been no explanation to give to the blushing maids, but to tell them to hurry with their preparations and close the door when they were finished.
The whole time the skimpy little pieces of fabric had lain on the cream colored carpet like bright red splotches of blood, daring anyone to take notice of them. Only when the maids had left had Serena dared to snatch them up.
"How d-dare he bring another woman to this bed, and in this house!" She looked down at the red under things that were crumpled in her hand and made a face of the deepest disgust.
What self respecting woman wore red garters? She didn't even own anything red, and now because of this incident she would probably never wear red again. Not that she had ever fancied the harlot's color, but she might have come to like it, hadn't she?
The door creaked. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her kerchief, then gently placed the garment in her lap, preparing herself. The adulterer was home. The door swung open, and in he came all golden light and shimmer.
As usual his cravat was perfectly tied and in place. Wellington's glistened to a high sheen, and locks perfectly cropped. He looked every part the Duke of Sheildgaurd, and Oh, How she hated him!
When he saw her his face went through a series of emotions, first surprise, to puzzlement, distaste, and then finally a strained grin spread over his features. The grin did little to disguise his real feelings about discovering her in his room.
"Darling!" Darling said, walking over to give his wife a kiss on the cheek. He had kept his frown hidden just for the sake of pretense. The wretch had been crying again. What was it this time, a broken nail?
Serena remained as stiff as possible when he kissed her cheek. She had to clutch her hands in her skirt to keep from throttling him. The louse.
Darien sighed heavily. "Where are the boys?" he asked removing his coat.
"In the nursery" Serena said with a trembling voice.
Darien squinted and gave her a swift appraisal. What was this, Serena with mussed hair? He never thought he'd see the day when the ice queen had even one strand of hair out of place.
"Darling are you sick? You look terrible. Your eyes are red and your hair is a mess." he said feigning as much worry as he could muster without laughing. Maybe now she would go and make herself presentable.
Serena squeezed her skirts harder, but loosened her grip when she saw the wrinkles being made in the fabric. Mary would never be able to get these creases out.
It was all his fault! He was such a hypocrite! When was he ever worried about anyone besides himself? She was at her wits end with him.
She took a breath and lifted the garters. "The maids found these in your sheets this morning Darien."
Darien's heart jumped. He turned to see Serena holding a pair of red garters between her index and her thumb like a dirty rag.
Serena watched his eyes calculate the situation. Before his face went blank she saw the look of recognition.He turned his back to her and began taking off his cravat and waist coat.
"What does it matter Serena? Let's not pretend. Besides-" Serena braced herself.
He wouldn't dare lie! He wouldn't dare lie! "It could be one of the maids or maybe you left your-"
"How dare you!" Serena exploded.
She rose from the sill. "You brought another woman in this house, and in your bed and- and you act as if this sort of thing is normal or- or" She searched for the right word to explain herself "acceptable! Yes, you act as if adul-adul- adultery is-is completely acceptable!" she stuttered.
She knew her cheeks were red, and that she probably sounded like a bumbling goose, but she didn't care. She'd said it finally. Adultery… Oh, that cursed word! She didn't even like the sound of it! She'd never thought she'd be the one to worry about it.
Darien however, was completely unperturbed. He hadn't noticed her difficulty in speaking the word at all.
"I'm sure you've heard the rumors, and don't say you haven't. This is a marriage of convenience Serena. We have no ties. This is how arranged marriages work. If one partner is not satisfied with the other, they find other… options." he said calmly.
Serena stared at him in disbelief. She narrowed her eyes. "We have no ties? What do you call Shelldon and Remington?"
"Children," Darien said with a smile. Serena gasped, she felt as if she had been slapped. How could he be so cruel?
Emotion choked her throat. "Even if you have no respect for the sanctity of this family, you could at least have had respect for your children and me! How could you bring another woman to your bed and into this home?" She answered, trying her hardest to keep back the tears.
Darien looked at her from the corner of his eyes. How could he? He threw his cravat on the bed and began to walk towards her. He'd tell her how he damn well could bring another woman to his bed.
Serena jumped, as she became aware of him coming towards her. The mood in the room had changed suddenly. His smile had disappeared and she almost wished for the stupid smirk back.
He was staring at her with the sternest expression, and that was decidedly not a good sign. Darien was always smiling, even when he was being venomous and loathsome he wore a smile. She slowly began to back up until she felt the edge of the sill press against her skirts.
After all these years, she was still very wary of him. Why did he keep staring at her like that? Her breathing became shallow. He was like something wild, coming towards her so slowly. There was nothing in reach that she might clobber him with, so she was forced to stand her ground.
His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned and his bare chest was glistening with sweat. Why was he sweating? For a moment suspicion replaced her fear. He had probably been doing some sort of perversion no doubt. Gentlemen didn't sweat did they, and the day wasn't particularly hot.
She cared not, but the situation could afford a brief analysis. There were only three activities that would cause a gentleman to sweat. One was dueling, two was loosing a hand at Billiards, and the other was too inappropriate to think about.
Since dueling was illegal, and to lose a hand at Billiards was a mere trifle to him, she could guess fairly well which activity he had probably been partaking in. Though it concerned her not it was evidence against him.
His over long bangs fell in his eyes, but they weren't long enough to hide the dark blue orbs that mocked her so cruelly. He looked at her so intently; she thought her legs would collapse.
She was trying to keep her breathing in control, but she could feel an intense anxiety come over her. She clutched the sill hard. Calm down! Calm down! She told herself.
Why should she be afraid of her own husband? Despite him being a rogue and rakehell he was harmless.
'You know why' a voice whispered.
He was close enough now to touch her. He placed both of his arms on either side of her body to brace himself on the sill. He leaned over her, causing her to arch her back up to him slightly. His eyes looked down into hers.
She failed at her attempt to keep from flinching when his hand cupped her chin. Finally he spoke, breathing out the faint scent of mints and whiskey. A real gentleman never drank during the day, evidence number two.
"We haven't shared that bed for years chèrie bebe, and I have needs that you are unwilling to fulfill." His eyes dropped to her lips, then back to her eyes.
"Now, are you willing to forget about it, or do you want to start something you know you can't finish." Serena shook her head. The double meaning of his words sent chills up her spine.
He dropped her chin and walked back to the bed. "Good, now change for dinner chèri."
Quick as a flash, the cheerful voice and smile had returned, and he was acting as if nothing at all had just happened.
"Besides chèri, your room is down the hall," he said pointing towards the door. "What were you doing here in the first place?"
Serena was trembling slightly. "I-" She stopped short. She had nothing to say. Her room wasindeed down the hall. To say she had been doing her daily inspections sounded weak even to her own ears.
This was his room as it had been before they were married, and of all things he thought of her she didn't want him to think for a second that she snooped around his room trying to find his dirty little secrets. As if she even cared to know!
But damn it! He had won again. Was she to remain silent about this to? Always silent... She sunk back down on the sill. Oh God? Would her life always be like this?
Tears of frustration and anger brimmed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She looked up at him as he studied himself in the mirror. She'd be dammed first! She would turn her life around even if it killed her.
'I'm not so sure it won't' a voice whispered.
She shook her head. Not only was he driving her crazy, she was beginning to hear voices now to.Perhaps she was having one of those hysterics her mother had so frequently. But then again serving the wrong china to guests at dinner could make her mother go into hysterics.
A sharp wrapping on the door averted her attention. She wiped her eyes with her hands and ran her fingers over her hair to smooth any strays.
"Who is it?" she said running her hands down her skirt.
"It's Shelly!" "And Remy!" two giggling voices said from outside the door. She became a little alarmed. It was the twins, they were coming to greet there father.
She forced a laugh, then smoothed her hair one last time and pinched her cheeks to get some color in them. She was buying time to clean herself up. "How do I know it's really my boys?" she said playfully. There was more giggling outside the door.
Darien looked to the door and his smile widened. TIP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TIP! TAP! came from the other side of the door. Serena managed another laugh. It was the little door tapping game they played. The game was played only by them and served no real purpose but to indulge their fancies.
"Okay, I believe you." Serena said. Just before they came in, she remembered she was still holding the garters and balled them in her hand.
The door burst open, and in ran her two six year old twins. Her heart gave a little leap at the sight of there smiling faces. They were the only good things to have ever come out of her cursed marriage.
Serena held her arms out to them, but before they could reach her, Darien grabbed both of them from behind, and twirled them in the air.
"Hello Daddy" they said in unison. Serena felt her stomach go warm, but she quickly swatted the feeling away. They were identical twins who by fates cruel joke, looked like miniature copies of their father.
Both had ebony black hair like their father, but they were blessed with her crystalline blue eyes. Their beautiful black ringlets hung around their faces, making them look like little cherubs.
Their sweet faces belied their rambunctious nature. The maids loved them and snuck them sweets. They had all their nurse maids wrapped around their fingers, and the servants gave them free run of the manor. There was no one who didn't love them.
Serena held back the sob that rose in her throat. They were her universe. 'And I'm pathetic'
Darien kissed both boys on the cheeks, then placed them on the ground. Shelly began to rub his cheeks vigorously.
"Arrgh you kissed me! Vile!" Shelly exclaimed pouting. Remy as usual followed suit. "Vile Daddy!"
Darien was highly amused by this. It seemed that since the boys had heard him calling Wilson and Scholar "vile" and other such profanities they had adopted the word to the vocabulary.
"Vile am I?" he said reaching down to grab them. They giggled wildly as he tickled them.
As frustrated and as angry as she felt, Serena couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. Just hearing Shelly and Remy laugh could always assuaged her anger and hurt. She knew they would always love her, her darling boys.
She cleared her throat. "Have you forgotten your mother?" she asked cocking her brow at them. With his hair askew and curls now in a horrid mess, Remy ran to her and jumped on her lap. She kissed the top of his head and cheeks.
"Hello mummy!" he said hugging her neck. She hadn't seen them for the better part of the day. They had gone to the park with their nurse maids. Remy smelled like cookies and butter cream. No doubt he had persuaded Anette to sneak him sweets before dinner, she'd have to talk to her about always letting them have their way.
"Shelly?" Serena said, still smiling.
Always the stubborn one, Shelly crossed his arms and pouted. "I'm a man mummy, and I don't want any kisses." he warned, making Remy giggle.
Serena crossed her heart with her finger. "I promise, no kisses." she said.
"She's serious when she promises not to kiss you Shelly." Darien said in a loud whisper. Serena looked up at him sharply. "Your mother doesn't like to kiss." He said.
Darien stared at Serena who stared back at him, but said nothing. Shelly ran to his mother and gave her a hug, he to smelled like a sweet shop. Her sweet darlings sat in her lap, but a there was a sour taste in her mouth from Darien's accusation.
She kept her eyes on Darien as she spoke. "Vous avez- aucune honte? La vérité est,
I only kiss those who I love." She leaned down and gave Shelly and Remy kisses on their hands and cheeks. They squirmed in her arms, but their smiles and laughter told her that they loved her kisses.
Darien smiled widened. "Je n'ai aucune honte à tout le chéri" he answered.
Shelly made a sound of annoyance that made her attention flick back to him. "Mummy you promised!" he said rubbing his cheeks. Serena smiled and brought her left hand from behind her back.
"I told you mummy was tricky. She had her fingers crossed." Remy said smugly, and laid his head on her shoulder.
"Vile." Shelly responded.
Darien laughed. "How very perceptive of the two of you, you're absolutely right. Your mother has many vile little tricks, but very few cards in her hand." he said.
"It's a good thing I know how to play my hand isn't it? I haven't lost a game yet." Serena countered.
They glared at each other as a long silence stretched between them. Remy and Shelly looked back and forth from their mother to their father.
Serena noticed them watching her, and for their sake she plastered a smile on her face. Her arms went around their little bodies to hug them closer. When they were around nothing Darien said could touch her. They were her shields.
She looked up to see Darien staring at her. Without meaning to she blushed and looked away quickly.
"Have you been crying mummy?" Shelly said tracing a tear trail down her cheeks.
Serena was startled. "No my love, mummy had a bit of dust in her eyes, that's all." she said.
Shelly touched the other side of her face. "You must have had a lot of dust in your eyes." he said quietly tracing the other trail of tears.
Serena turned to look at him, but he jumped out of her arms. "Come on Remy!" he said "I smell scones from the kitchen." He grabbed Remy's hand and ran towards the door.
"Don't eat too many!" Serena called after them. She might have to be a little more careful around Shelly. He was far smarter than she gave him credit for.
The room was quiet with only she and Darien left. "I don't think I shall make it to dinner tonight." she said.
Darien shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I've invited the Rouliers to dinner. There daughter Mary is quite the charmer. You shan't be missed too much darling." he said.
He turned and flashed a heart stopping smile. That smile would have undone many a fair maids, but now she wished she could knock out every gleaming white tooth.
Serena tossed the undergarments she'd been holding onto the bed. "Maybe those will fit her." she said tartly, and turned to walk out of the room.
"I'm afraid she only wears white lace cheri sweetheart." Darien said. Serena tripped on her foot, ruining her efforts to walk gracefully from the room with her pride intact.
It was exactly 4:15a.m when Serena woke the boys. In twenty minutes she had them both dressed and their bags packed. She had managed to sneak pass their nurse maids without waking them. Now they were on their way to freedom, and as usual Shelly was the first one to start the complaints.
"Mummy where are we going?" he asked rubbing his eyes. Serena placed her finger to her lips.
"We're taking a sabbatical Shelly darling." she whispered.
"W-w-what's a sabicle?" Remy asked yawning.
"It's like going on holiday darling." Serena said holding both their hands as she tiptoed her way around the huge manor to the marble columns that led down stairs.
They had gone through the corridors, down the great stairway, and were almost at the front door. The most crucial part of her escape was getting past the mammoth front doors without bringing attention to their escape.
"Mummyyyy I'm hungry." Shelly whined, pouting in his most cantankerous manner. Serena hoisted their bags further up on her shoulders.
"I promise Shelly darling, when we're on our way we'll stop by a pastry or sweet shop, but now we must be quiet okay?" she said.
Trickles of sweat began to pour down her face when they were only yards away from the front door. The bags were staring to get heavier.
"Is daddy coming to?" Remy said in a loud whisper. Serena's eye twitched.
"Daddy is coming later Remy, now please, we must be very quiet." she said as calmly as she could.
"Mummy?"
"Yesss." Serena mumbled the irritation beginning to show in her voice.
"I'm tired." Shelly said hiccoughing back a tear and yawning widely.
Serena sighed heavily. "It won't be long love, look we're almost there." Her arm could barely left to point towards the door with the enormous satchel weighing her down. She couldn't remember the last time she'd lifted anything heavier than a tea cup.
But the boys, she did feel sorry for them. The last time they had woken this early they had been mere babes. But this really couldn't be helped, could it? She felt a pang of guilt hit her. She looked at the top of their drooping heads.
As soon as they were on their way they could sleep for as long as the wanted, but for right now, her first priority was getting them out that front door undetected.
"Your Grace?" a voice said from behind her.
Serena started, nearly jumping out of her skin. Eyes wide, she craned her neck to look and see who had called her name. She clutched her hand to her heart in relief when she saw that it was only Steven the head butler. Her relief quickly turned to annoyance.
She could throttle him for creeping up on her like that! Why did he always seem to be creeping about somewhere?
Shelly and Remy however were very glad to see Steven, they immediately turned to lay their complaints on him, but Serena squeezed their hands. Shelly pouted while Remy remained silent.
"Oh hello Steven." she said innocently. She could try to make a run for it, but that would never do. She was never very good at running, and it would be horrible to make a scene. She'd simply just talk her way out of this.
She hated to do it, but Steven would insist on asking her more questions and she simply didn't have time for questions.
"Are you going somewhere Duchess?" he asked.
Serena looked at the four heavy bags that threatened to break her bones, and the two small luggages Shelly and Remy clutched in their hands, whatever would give him that idea?
It may not take much effort on her part after all to talk her way out of this. Admittedly Steven wasn't the brightest person. She could tell him the sky was falling and he'd ask if she needed an umbrella.
"We're on a sabicle." Remy said. Serena flinched, so much for making up a story. Perhaps it was for the best, she hadn't wanted to lie to Steven, she hated liars.
"A sabical my lady?" Steven asked, looking at her in utter confusion.
"What Remy means is that we're taking a little vacation Steven, and that His Grace, shall join us later." she added quickly. There was only a little lie in that one.
Steven smiled and nodded his head. "Ah yes your Grace. How nice it is to get away from the troubles of being a Duchess. But why ever didn't you call the servants to carry your bags?" He said taking her bags and opening the door.
"I need the exercise." she said weakly. "Ah yes of course" Steven said looking through the window, puzzled at the carriage waiting outside the doors.
When she and the boys had cleared the threshold and stood outside the carriage doors and took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh morning air. As an after thought she turned to look at her old home, while Shelly and Remy clamored into the waiting carriage.
She arched her neck to look up at the three story mansion that had been, but had not really been her home. "Au revoir." She said, and turned to get into the carriage.
It was 9:30a.m. when Darien woke. It seemed to be another regular lousy day of work. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and pushed himself up on his elbows.
Funny, this was the first time he hadn't heard Shelly and Remy running up and down the halls waking every one and anything that weren't already awake.
They did little annoying things like that. He supposed he should be grateful for getting to rest longer, but it did feel rather odd.
'Prepare for many restless nights' a voice echoed in his head.
"What?" Darien said aloud. He looked around the room nothing stirred but the fluttering curtains from the open window. He shook his head. Where had that come from? He glanced at the empty shot glass on his bedside table, and chuckled, too much port last night no doubt.
Less than a minute later there was a soft tapping on his door. Darien blinked the sleep from his eyes. "Come in Steven." he said.
He knew it was Steven, because it was Steven's personal responsibility to see that the Duke of Shields woke every morning at exactly 9:15a.m. to attend to his duties. According to the clock on his mantle Steven was a little late today, which really was very odd.
Steven walked in as usual with his breakfast tray in hand and his back so straight he felt bad for the old boy. No one should ever be that rigid early in the morning.
"Good morning Your Grace." He said fluffing the napkin and putting it beside the plate of steaming eggs and porridge.
"Good morning Steven." Darien said lazily. He felt quite stiff. He then stretched, flexing his muscles. It seemed that little Mary Roulier new a thing or two more about flexibility than he'd thought.
"Your Grace, I took the liberty of packing your bags for you. I wasn't quite positive how long you'd be away, so I packed at least a months attire. The rest I shall have sent to your intended destination."
Darien looked at Steven with a puzzled expression. "Steven, why the devil would you be packing my bags? I don't plan to leave for Paris for another four weeks."
Steven looked quite startled by this. "Pardon me sir, but Her Grace, the Duchess informed me earlier this morning that you would be following she and the young lords later." he said pouring steaming tea into his mug.
Darien rose slowly from his bed. "Pardonnez- moi?" he said, his mind seemed to have gone fuzzy for a moment.
"No, no, no, wait, you mean she's gone, and she's taken Shelly and Remy with her?" Darien felt his stomach turn.
"Yes sir, around 5:50 a.m. this morning sir. I thought you knew?" Steven looked dumbfounded.
"Mon Dieu." Darien whispered, as he pulled back the sheets from the bed.
"Is anything the matter sir?" Steven asked.
Darien didn't answer. "Tell Edward to pull the carriage around Steven." He said. If he thought she had done what he thought she had done she was going to pay dearly.
'OH she did it all right.' a voice boomed inside his head.
Well that's the end of my first chapter if you like it please review. (This chapter has been revised and hopefully it is free of typos)
(I have revised the Chapter slightly. I corrected and added some things I think will make the story better. Hopefully there are no typos )
