Okay, this is set in Season two, and Buffy may be a bit OOC so I'm sorry about that. Also, I haven't seen this episode in a while, so I'm also sorry if this is a bit off from the series.

Chapter One

SUNNYDALE, 1998

Buffy felt tears stream down her cheeks, but she didn't care. She'd just watched Angel die. No, she hadn't watched him die, that was too innocent, she had killed him. She had put a sword straight through his chest and had watched him as he was dragged into some unmentionable hell dimension.

"This isn't fair!" Buffy whispered as she fell to her knees in grief. "It was supposed to be Angelus. I was supposed to kill Angelus, not him…never him."

Buffy stayed there, hunched on the ground in grief, until she couldn't cry any more tears. Buffy then got up and walked out of the building, feeling too much pain just by being there. She wandered the streets, trying to figure out what to do. She couldn't go home, her mother had told her never to go back, but then she couldn't just go out to the Bronze looking the way she did; tear-streaked face, and messy hair from fighting. Besides, she didn't feel like being in a crowded place, not when Angel, her true love was dead. She felt like her heart had died, like she couldn't ever love again, because Angel had stolen her heart and she could never get it back. She didn't even want her heart back, she just wanted this pain to go away. This was different to what she felt when Angel became Angelus. When he had become Angelus she still had hope. There was still a chance he could become Angel again, and then everything would be okay. As long as she had Angel she could face anything. But that wasn't going to happen, as she had lost him, and now there wasn't anything she could do to get him back. He was gone forever.

Buffy felt more tears form in her eyes, and she felt so stupid. She had killed Angel, she had no right to grieve for him. Buffy sighed and leant against a wall, not having the energy to stand up straight anymore. She needed to find somewhere to stay, somewhere to rest. She couldn't even stay in the streets because it wasn't safe. Not only were there vampires and demons, but now she had the police after her as well. Buffy felt more sadness, as she remembered that she was still wanted for a murder she didn't commit. Kendra's murder. Buffy felt a touch of sadness as she remembered that Drucilla had murdered Kendra. They weren't best friends or anything, but Buffy liked Kendra. She shouldn't have died.

This is the life of a slayer, isn't it? Buffy thought morbidly. I'm surrounded by death and destruction, and now I've shared this curse to my friends. My true love.

Buffy just wanted to leave town, get away…before she hurt anyone else. To leave town would mean going back home, to get some of her stuff. Now that she had somewhere to go, Buffy felt a little better. She would go home, get some clothes and then leave Sunnydale. She didn't know where she'd go but at that point she didn't care, as long as she got out of this town.

She saw her house up ahead, and started to walk a little further, until she was at the driveway. Buffy froze as she saw someone come out of the front door. She didn't want to see anyone at the moment, she just wanted to leave town. If she had to see anyone before it would be too hard. She considered running, but it was too late as the person had already seen her.

"Buffy." Xander said, and walked over to her, giving her a big hug. "Thank God you're okay."

Buffy returned his hug, numbly. She wasn't thanking God that she was alive. She was cursing him.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked as he noticed she'd been crying.

"I…nothing." Buffy said quickly. "I have to go."

"What…go where?" Xander gave her a strange look, that said he was concerned about her.

"Anywhere." Buffy replied. "You don't understand Xander, I need to leave."

"Why do you need to leave?" Xander asked, confused. "Is Angelus – "

"He's dead." Buffy replied shortly.

"Buff, I know its hard killing him, as he used to be Angel, but – "

"He was Angel." Buffy replied, and was surprised to find her cheeks were wet, she didn't think she had any more tears inside of her.

"What?"

"I said, he was Angel. Willow's spell worked, but it was too late." Buffy sobbed. "He'd already opened the portal…I had to kill him."

"Buffy, I – " Xander began, not knowing what to say.

"I have to go." Buffy repeated. "I can't do this right now."

As Buffy went to run away, Xander grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Xander, stop it." Buffy weakly protested, before finally breaking down in his arms, unable to fight the pain anymore.

Xander didn't say anything, he just held her for a few minutes, before kissing the top of her forehead. "Come on, let's get you inside."

Buffy only nodded, and Xander led her into the house. As soon as they came in through the front door, Buffy's mother came out.

"Buffy Anne Summers, what do you think you were doing?" Joyce said angrily. "You can't just disobey me like that young lady, I – "

Joyce paused as she saw Xander with his arm around Buffy's shoulders. Then she saw Buffy, whose eyes were puffy and red and her cheeks were covered in tears. Joyce went over and gave her daughter a hug, all sternness gone.

"Buffy sweetie, what is it?" Joyce asked, as she held her daughter close.

"I…can't." Buffy said, sobbing.

Joyce just nodded and she led Buffy up the stairs with Xander. Once they got to Buffy's room, they both helped her into the bed, then Xander left and Joyce stayed up all night to watch over her daughter while she slept.


Buffy woke up as bright light flooded through her window. She looked around her room, her eyes adjusting to the light. Buffy looked over to see her mother dozing in a chair. She then remembered everything that happened last night. She'd killed Angel, was going to run away but then Xander came…

"Buffy." Joyce said as she woke up.

"Hey mom." (A/N: Yes I have decided to use the American spelling of mum, even though I am Australian, because Buffy is American and it seems more right) Buffy said, her voice croaky. "I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have kept it a secret from you."

"Oh sweetie." Joyce went over to the bed and hugged her daughter. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Buffy nodded. "Me too, mom."

"What happened sweetie?" Joyce asked gently. "What happened to you?"

"Angel." Buffy whispered.

"What, that vampire boyfriend of yours?" Joyce said. "What did he do?"

"We were fighting…and he became Angel again, not the demon. He was my Angel again…and I had to kill him." Buffy struggled to stop herself from crying.

"Oh sweetie." Joyce hugged Buffy even tighter.

Buffy just let herself be comforted by her mother's arms. She was glad she hadn't run away now. She needed her mother to get through this.


Hey, not really a cliffie which, I thought was kind. Please review if you read this because I really appreciate them. Even if you criticise the story, as long as you tell me what's wrong with it.

Also, I'd like to thank my reviewers for the previous chapter Maria, teehee32 and RoseSiege. Thank you guys, your reviews meant a lot to me!