It's official, Goemon thought to himself as he stared at Jigen in utter bewilderment, the man has killed so many brain cells that he has silently slipped into insanity.
Jigen had just finished telling his partner about Fujiko's birthday idea. He knew Goemon would protest. He knew Goemon would give him that look that he usually only reserved for Lupin when he committed acts of extreme stupidity. He knew Goemon would probably flat out say 'no.' He did not think he would render the samurai speechless.
Jigen coughed nervously. "C'mon, Goemon. You have to have something to say about all this."
The samurai continued to glare, expressionless.
Sighing, the gunman pulled out a cigarette. He had brought it to his lips before he realized that all that was left of it was the butt.
Hmm, he said inwardly. Guess he's more pissed off than I thought.
He was preparing to duck and cover, lest Goemon decide to turn his fedora into so much useless fabric, when he heard Lupin's familiar voice come wafting into the room.
"Jiji! You're hoooome!" Lupin rushed at Jigen, throwing his arms around his partners bony frame and hugging him tightly.
"Ahh, Lupin! I hate it when you call me that! And will you let go, you're smashing my cigarettes."
Lupin slunk back reluctantly. "I'm sorry." His bottom lip quivered.
"Oh crap... Uh... Don't cry, Lupin," Jigen said hurriedly. "It's OK. My cigarettes are fine. Really."
"He's been like this all night," Goemon added. "I would have appreciated some assistance. When Lupin is drunk, he is more unpredictable than a certain woman who shall remain nameless."
"I'm going to pretend as if I didn't hear that," the lanky thief replied haughtily. "Would anyone like to join me for a round of golf?"
Jigen and Goemon exchanged confused glances.
"Lupin, you do realize it is 11 o clock at night, right? Golf isn't the type of game to play in the dark, especially in your condition," Jigen warned.
"Oh puhh-lleeease, Jigen. My condition. You make it sound like I'm some kind of geriatrics patient on tranquilizers. Pffffft! I'm fiiiiine! A lil drunk, but fiiiiiine."
Lupin turned and left the room, singing "My Fuuuji lies over the ocean! My Fuuuji lies over the seeeaa. My Fuuuuji lies over the ocean, so bring back my Fuuji to meeee!"
"All night, Jigen!" Goemon made a waving motion with his hand once Lupin was out of earshot. "All night I have been listening to that wretched song! It is enough to drive a man insane, which, by the way, I am now thoroughly convinced is the direction you have just headed."
Jigen shrugged. "Fair enough, man. I know it's a crazy scheme and I know that broad has really never done much in the way for us, but I see it this way, Goemon, this is as much for Lupin as it is for her. Just look at the guy! He's a friggin wreck. He's gonna end up in a real bad place if he keeps going the way he is, and I don't want to see my friend travel that road. I've been there myself, and it's no good for anyone."'
Goemon cast is eyes downward. "I understand your concern. I, too, am worried about his mental state. The past few days, he has been deteriorating faster than I could have ever imagined. I had no idea turning 30 would have this impact on him. I suppose I was incorrect in assuming he was of stronger character."
Cautiously bringing another cigarette to his mouth in the hopes Goemon would not do away with it, Jigen lit the end and took a deep drag, allowing the nicotine to thoroughly saturate his lungs. His exhale was one part smoke, one part sigh of contentment. He closed his eyes as he felt that familiar wave of placidity sweep over his body.
"OK, Jigen. I will do it."
Jigen opened his eyes. "Good. Glad I could talk you over to my side."
"Hmh. I would not be doing this if I did not think it would make Lupin happy. He is my friend and my business partner, and much like you, I do not like to see him in this mindset."
Nodding, Jigen extinguished his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. "I've gotta give Fujiko a call tomorrow. Let her know we're in. She says she has some connections at the company that might be able to help us gain access. Make things a bit easier on us."
Jigen turned to leave the room, then paused and added, "Thanks for helping, man. I know Lupin can be a real pain in the ass. And I know I can be one, too."
"Well," Goemon retorted. "You both certainly know how to keep a man from achieving enlightenment."
