Angel sat as his desk, in the Wolfram & Hart Office, unable to concentrate. He glanced at a file for his meeting at 4:00 but placed it down. It was always the same boring thing. The file lay upon the desk with all the other papers that he threw carelessly into the pile. He leaned back in his chair and looked at a picture of Buffy he had in a frame. He never had it out when he was in meetings, only when he was alone. He knew he needed to get over any feelings he had for the blond slayer because she needed a better life. One he could never give her. No matter how much his heart belonged to her he knew he could never have her. That she would never get the full experience of love, life, and happiness. The dark side of him told him to screw it all. To screw everything he owned and run to Buffy and try to get her. Because she was the only one who could really own his heart.
His soul. His everything was what she held, and what she had taken with her and kept with her as he left. Day by day he regained nothing of himself. He felt nothing. Not happiness, not rage, not any feeling but an aching dullness in his heart. How he wondered what would Buffy do if her where to drive a stake through it. Would she cry? Would she care? She seemed to get over him quickly enough when he left. He hadn't even looked at another woman. Yet he knew that wasn't true. Their was Kate. But in the end she found out what he was and she driven mad, almost to the brink of insanity. She grew paranoid. Looking for mystical answers that just weren't their.
Their was also Darla. It was madness. He loved her and hated her. Loved her more from the fact she was human. Hated her because she wanted to throw it all away. In the end he grew angry and upset trying to save her from the undead life that she wanted. In the end she was turned and bore him a child. Conner. He prized his child with every fiber in his being. He should have known it wouldn't last but he didn't. Now Conner had no memories of him, nor did anyone save himself. Cordelia. He loved her. She almost replaced Buffy in his heart. But she slept with Conner. She was one of the few things that kept him sane underwater and she slept with his son.
Angel sighed annoyed and sat back in his desk.
'No one shall love me nor shall I love a single soul over Buffy. She is my soul mate. My soul was the one that was wrong. It had yet evolved to hers. Maybe Darla was supposed to kill me. My soul would had been remade. Placed into a living body and then my heart and soul would b forever hers,' he thought to himself.
Hope you liked. I love tormenting Angel but I had to add the little twist of the thought that reincarnation would have changed things for the better.
I may just do a spin off story for that.
