An: Did you know I have written all these chapters over the course of two days? When I get started, I crank chapters out really fast.
Tripp was having a contest with his brother to see who could hold their breath longer, and they held their breath for an hour until they passed out, and Cali had to throw them into the water to revive them.
"How can you hold your breath for that long?" she asked Chase.
"Easy. Cheat for the first fifty five minutes and hold your breath for the last five."
0.o
"Oh, my back hurts?" complained Tommie.
"Yeah, mine does, too." said Chomper.
"It's really way down there, you know what I mean." asked Tommie.
"Crap!" said Chomper.
"What's the matter?" asked Mikey.
"It's none of your business, crapface?" yelled Tommie.
"Jeez, no need to be cruel to me." he said.
"Hey, do you have any chocolate?" asked Chomper.
"No, why would I have any chocolate?" asked Mikey.
"I don't know!" said Chomper with shiny tear-filled eyes. "I thought you might, is all."
"What is wrong with you two?" asked Mikey and went away to go get help.
0.o
Tripp, Chase, Bee, Tre, Mike, Mikey, J, and Billie Joe were all sitting cross-legged in a semicircle staring at the two girls.
"I got it!" yelled Chase after they had been thinking for quite some time.
"What, what?" asked the others excitedly.
"An alien has posessed them!"
"Nope, try again?" sasked Tommie.
"Uhhhh..." said Billie Joe. "They could be a little shaken after my crazy spell." he said these words in a calm sort of way, he had accidentally taken two pills instead of one.
"No."
"Oh, well." he said like Cleaveland from Family Guy.
"Bug bite?" asked Mikey.
"No?" sasked Tommie.
"Oh, come on!" yelled Cali, who had been sitting with the girls.
"We give up." said Bee.
"It's obvious!" said Cali, making sure she rubbed it in.
"Duh, you're a girl!" said Mike.
"It's obvious they have PMS, you idiots!"
There was a resonating 'EEW' from several of the more immiture boys, and then they got over it.
"Oh, I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier..." said Mike, afraid that he might get hit.
"Thank you for apologizing?" said Tommie.
0.o
"This is the life." said Chomper.
"Yeah." Tommie replied with her face bried in a pillow.
Chomper looked up at Cali, who was laughing. She found it amusing that all of the boys were acting like servants to the two girls. Tre and Tripp were giving them back rubs, Billie Joe and Mikey were bringing them sodas, and Bee, Chase, Mike, and J were telling funny stories to keep them amused... All because they were scared of them.
"What about you?" Chomper asked her.
"Last week." Cali replied coolly.
"Lower... Waaay lower. NOT THAT LOW!" Tommie commanded Tre, who got a scared look on his face when she yelled at him.
"Thanks, you guys are great." said Chomper while getting up.
"Yeah, I'll call if I need you." Tommie said while getting up to follow Chomper.
0.o
"Did you see how scared they were?" asked Chomper.
"Yeah, they were all 'Don't hurt us'?"
"It's fun to have athourity!"
"Yeah?" Tommie said.
"Well, I'm going to go take a nap, okay?"
"Okay?" Tommie sasked.
0.o
The caravans were heading for the town up ahead. When they got there, there was trouble getting in.
"What do you mean, what is my name!" yelled Billie Joe.
"Just tell me your name, son, we need to document it." said the gatekeeper. (Is that the right word?)
"Joe. Billie Joe."
He got a weird look, so he said it in a Southern accent. "Billee Jow."
Still not right. "Beely Joe."
He tried a Jamaican accent, "Billuh Joo."
"BILLIE JOE!" he yelled at the man, and finally, he understood.
"Lord, Jesus, what was his problem?" he asked Mike.
"Hey, Billie Joe, we need to show you something when we get into our rooms at the inn." said Tre, which made Mike giggle in remembrance.
"I a'in't watchin' that again!" said Billie Joe.
"No, it's something different, we promise!" said Mike.
"Okay, whatever."
0.o
All of the caravaners were in the room that belonged to the three stooges, watching the video that Tre and J made (That rymed!) and laughing hysterically. Even Billie Joe cracked a smile, though he wouldn't admit that he thought it was funny.
The movie consisted of all of the time, from the first "HEY MIKEY, I'M A WOODPECKER!" to a very large closeup of the tree that causes so much pain.
"Hey Mike..."
"Yeah?"
"You suck."
"I know."
0.o
Tre was banging on the table with drumsticks, Mike was banging his feet against the chair, and Billie Joe was banging his head against the wall.
"Hey, could you guys be quiet? We're trying to watch a movie." said J, who was staying in a room with Tommie and Chomper, but Mikey was there to make sure that he wouldn't get out of control.
"What are you watching?" said Tre.
"Chimbly Two- Revenge of the Titty Clown."
"Oh, is it scary? I heard the girls screaming." Mike asked.
"Yeah, once it was the movie... But the other times they were screaming because Chomper walked in on Mikey in the bathroom." J said smiling widely.
Mike laughed and said, "Can I come watch it with you guys?"
"Sure, I guess."
0.o
The movie was over, and Mike and Billie Joe had left to go back to their room. Tre had stayed to talk with Tommie and Chomper, and all three of them had fallen asleep. Mikey and J were trying not to laugh as Tre sucked his thumb in his sleep.
"And we'll parade around the naeighborhood and delight both young and old with our saucy banter!" said the TV.
Mikey and J let out a laugh which caused Tommie to sit up and say, "Hey, can you guys be quiet?"
"Yeah, sure." said Mikey, who turned the TV off.
J watched Tommie settle back into Tre's arms before he turned off the light. He wondered how someone could fall in love so fast.
0.o
Billie Joe woke up and found himself tied to a chair.
"Okay, now today is the day." said Mike.
"What do you mean?" asked Billie Joe.
"You're telling me who you like."
"It's none of your business."
"Tell me NOW!"
"No, you won't like it!"
"I don't care who it is, just tell me who you like!"
"Okay." said Billie Joe. "It's-"
0.o
The light fell on Tre's face. He looked over at Tommie.
"No. Don't open the bathroom door, Chomper!" she mumbled in her sleep.
Tre snuggled in closer to Tommie and felt rather than heard her snoring. Her snoring diead away.
"You idiot! You pressed the history eraser button!" Tommie said in her sleep. Then she stretched out and opened her eyes.
"Hmm...? Uhh... Wha... Give a larbage." Tre sighed as he woke back up.
"What's a larbage?" smiled Tommie.
"Oh... I think something about it was on TV last night." he said.
"Oh. Well, good morning." said Tommie.
"Mornin'." said Tre beofre he kissed Tommie.
0.o
"So you like who?" Mike said.
"T-Tommie. That's why I know I would get killed if I was found out. Now... Do you like anyone?"
"Yeah. Remember that girl in our village. The one that's a year younger than us? Yeah, her."
"I feel so bad. I kind of wish I was crazy again. Less painful." said Billie Joe.
"So why do you like Tommie, she's not that pretty." said Mike.
"Well, it started two years ago... She kissed me once and I was hooked. But the problem was I just wanted to be friends. Now I don't though..." said Billie Joe.
"I see." said Mike while lying on one of the beds like a counsolor. "So how does that make you feel?"
"Well... It makes me..." but Billie Joe couldn't finish he just started crying.
"Oh, don't feel bad, she has to leave Tre some time!" Mike tried to comfort him.
"WaaaAAAhaaaa! I need a hug, Mike! Aaaaaahhaaaaa! I'm a wreck! Just kill me off now! " Billie Joe sobbed.
"I'm not going to kill you, but I will hug you, Billie Joe." said Mike, who hugged the Billie Joe that (May I bring to your attention?) was still tied to the chair.
"What the hell is going on in here?" asked Tre, who walked in after what looked like a makout session with Tommie.
Billie Joe just cried more when he saw Tre, and Mike asked him to come talk to him outside.
"Billie Joe is upset because he is in love with someone he can't have is all."
"I've never seen him cry before." said an awestruck Tre. "Who is this mystery woman?"
"You wouldn't know her. But I think I need to help him out. You go have fun with J and the guys, alright?" said Mike.
" 'Kay, bye." said Tre, who walked off.
0.o
"Okay, Billie Joe, if you want her to like you, you need to make yourself look somewhat presentable. Like dye your hair black again."
"It's in my bag." he said while sniffing.
"Okay, uhh... Looks like I'll be your fashion designer." said Mike.
"Hey! Just becase I'm a bi doesn't mean that I am gay!" of course, that made no sense.
"Okay, so I'll be the person who makes you look better."
"Better."
0.o (Many different outfits and hair dying steps later.)
Billie Joe looked in the mirror.
"So you think this'll work?" he said.
"Yeah, if not for Tommie, at least some other girl." Mike said while looking at his clothes. "You know what, you need one more thing."
"What's that?"
"Close your eyes, and no matter what you feel, don't open them, okay?" Mike asked.
"Uuuh, sure I'll try."
"Okay, close your eyes, now."
Billie Joe closed his eyes and felt something cold and liquidy around his eyelashes. Then he felt Mike's finger dragging agaisnst his eyelids.
"Okay, open them now."
Billie Joe looked at his reflection.
"What the fuck is that around my eyes?" he asked.
"Eyeliner. Tommie said she likes guys who wear makeup. Not blush and crap, but eyeliner and stuff." Mike said.
"You know what. I'm almost comperable to the real Billie Joe."
"Yeah, you know, you're right. How's it feel being a punk?" said Mike.
"Not any different, to tell the truth."
0.o
"W-OW! Billie Joe what happened to you." Tommie said after she fell out of the tree in shock.
"Eeh. Nothing really." he said while leaning against the tree.
"Oh. You look... Better... I have to go?" she said before running off.
'Yes! I've got her!' thought Billie Joe.
0.o
Tommie started banging her head on the wall of her room. 'Why me?' she thought. 'To be stuck in the middle of a freaky little love triangle.'
Mike walked in and sat on her bed. "So you know, huh?" he said.
"What. Know what. I'm upset because I'm in a stupid love triangle and don't know who to choose?"
"Yeah, that about sums it up."
"Thought so?" said Tommie.
"You should have seen him yeaterday. Bawling like a baby." Mike said with a smile on his face. (AN: First time I wrote that it said a 'laugh' on his face. How can a laugh be on your face?)
"Gosh, I cause too much pain?" she sasked.
"Yeah." Mike looked at her shirt. It said Green Day, American Idiot. "What's an American, anyways?" he asked.
"Uhhh...? I think it's a color?" she sasked.
"OoooOoooh. Makes sense." Mike said.
"My hands smell like cucumber, and I don't know why?" she said randomly.
"Do you even like cucumbers?"
"No, not really?" she said.
"You are so weird." he said.
0.o
An: Cleavland is from Family Guy, Billie Joe and the gatekeeper problem is from Fletch 2, the part where he goes into the party and the guy asks him his name, Titty Clown is copyrighted by my five year old cousin who was telling nonsenical jokes, and American is a color is from my friend.
