Chapter 15
RyanHe turned over and slapped the alarm clock to stop its incessant bleating. Just a few more minutes of quiet he thought happily falling back into bed and rubbing his face into the pillow. Then he froze and his eyes popped wide open. Today Kirsten had to leave for the Dublin Federal Criminal Institution near Oakland. He knew he had failed his pledge to keep her safely under his watch, but strangely he wasn't too worried about her. She was tough. Since Caleb's rousing visit two days ago Kirsten had been fine – actually happier than she'd been in a long while.
All the Cohens were tough, maybe not barroom-brawl-tough but tough how it mattered; Seth had come through when the sales manager caught them in Kirsten's office, and Sandy dealt with his "messing up" over the last year without lifting a hand in anger. Part of his brain knew without question that would never happen but it was still hard to even imagine a huge family blowout without booze, bloody fists, or cops being called.
It wasn't just Ryan on watch for the whole family anymore, and knowing that made it easier. The Cohens looked out for each other – and that included Ryan. When Kirsten ripped into Caleb about Ryan, everything Kirsten and Sandy had been saying over the past year clicked. They had said over and over they were there for him, but it was different when he heard it shouted so publicly. And Ryan knew better than most it's hard to turn on family even if they are always letting you down, but she did it for him. He was a part of this wonderful family. His chest tightened and he lay in bed enjoying the thrilling thought.
He hustled through his normal morning ablutions - he wanted time to cook up the greatest breakfast ever. They teased him about the bacon and eggs breakfast routine, but he knew everyone enjoyed it. They were easy to please, a simple breakfast beat getting a job to pay house bills or returning a hot car for your brother any day of the week.
He opened his door. Kirsten and Sandy were down the hallway. "No, absolutely not," Kirsten said with flat conviction. "No, no visits. I'll be too busy with my tennis and Tivo," Kirsten said with a wry smile and laughed. Sandy added his rumbling laugh. It was a relief to hear her laughing. Ryan had to admit he was still a little worried about her despite the last couple of great days, and he wouldn't breathe normally again until she came back in a month.
"Ryan," Sandy said breaking away. Kirsten smiled at him and said, "You're up early."
They entered the dining room together to find a basket of bagels, a plate of cream cheese and lox, and a carafe of coffee set on the table. "French toast and bacon hot off the grill," Seth said lifting a plate in his hand.
"I always make bacon and eggs for special breakfasts," Ryan said indignantly.
"Yeah, except no."
Ryan glared for show but didn't really care. If Seth was willing to share his parents Ryan could share the breakfast glory. "I'd better be the taste tester, we don't want any trips to the hospital. Pass me your poison, Seth." Only in this family do jokes on a day when someone is off to jail seem right.
SethHe took the high road and simply smirked at Ryan. Less is more he always said but rarely did. He handed Ryan a plate of his high cuisine and sat back with satisfaction.
"The bacon is all curled up. I guess I'll have to give you some pointers," Ryan said in a long-suffering voice. He sniffed it with suspicion before he took a bite and declared, "Well, we might not die."
"Ryan, are you our keeper? Because you can leave that to me," his Dad said jokingly, sitting down. He reached for a bagel instead. "Seth, leave the bacon to the goyim."
Seth tilted his head back and opened his mouth to laugh silently at his Dad's lame joke. In a point of fact, he had to concede the middles of the bacon strips were darkened black and the ends were this side of completely cooked. Okay, maybe he still had something to learn from Ryan.
His mom came him and tried to kiss him on the head, but he tilted his cheek to her. She smiled and kissed him there. Ryan gave them a strange look, and his mom went by Ryan too and kissed him. Ryan looked down slightly embarrassed but Seth knew Ryan was really beaming inside.
"I'm expanding my barbequtionist's skills," Seth said modestly as everyone dug in - into the toast anyways.
"The French toast is scrumptious, Seth," his mom said in her mom-like way, "slightly crispy on the outside, moist inside."
Seth stared at his mom; he was scared for her. How could she be so mom-like before she went to jail – in a matter of hours? Just the idea made him scream in his head like the Munch painting, but she seemed less freaked out than he was when he went away to Camp Tacahoe. She'll be fine, Seth kept repeating to himself. But if she gave the secret sign, Ryan and he were so there to break her out.
Seth noticed with pride that the French toasts were all gone. "Pass me a bagel, Dad. Schmeared."
Sandy"Okay, but you guys have got to listen carefully so you can teach your own sons the fine art of schmearing," he said with professorial pedantry. "In the far away future," he added frowning at them both. Stalling, they were all stalling with the jokes. He snuck in a glance at the clock. It was time to go, to break up this beautiful family tableau. He hated to do it but it would be a bad idea to show up late.
"We've got to go," Sandy said with a studied nonchalance. "Pass me a kiss, honey." As he stood up, he leaned over and goosed her in the rump and swallowed her yelp in a kiss.
"Oh, and then my image was ruined," Seth grumbled turning away.
KirstenSo it was time. She had sat back all through breakfast drinking in the sights of her beautiful family. Now she tried to breath evenly, and smiled as naturally as she could. There was little she could do for them now, except alleviate their worry. Sure, she was scared and sure, she would love to bury her head in the sand. The near memory of a bottle of vodka's numbing effect was inviting. But she knew better now; that was temporary and she'd be okay without the crutch. What she needed now was to reassure them that she would be okay.
"No, glum looks, guys. This is my last breakfast at home for a short while, not my last supper, okay? Think of me at a free drying-out spa." She smiled, looking into each of her son's eyes, but they didn't laugh. She understood. They didn't have to pretend this was going to be easy, but she knew this family would make it through anything.
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a day later…
Sandy rolled over in bed and reached his hand out. He stopped grasping when he realized she wasn't there. He traded his pillow for hers; the familiar smell helped only a little.
a few days later…
The rough, starched jumper chaffed her neck red, but the sharp, institutional smell that burned her nostrils just yesterday had become too usual to notice.
Kirsten had just learned she would be assigned to kitchen duty starting tomorrow. Sitting in the loud cafeteria she stared at her lumps of lunch. The brown was supposed to be chocolate pudding, and it made her think of Seth. She missed his laugh, Ryan's shy smile, and Sandy's soft, lingering caresses. She closed her eyes to forget where she really was, only to be startled awake by the alarm bell announcing the end of lunch. A sea of women surrounded her. One of many, she was carried off in their eagerness to begin courtyard time.
two weeks later…
"If you're sure we can't come, Dad…" Seth handed Sandy Captain Oats after staring hard into the horse's eyes. "I'm telepathically giving him instructions to keep Mom safe," he explained.
Ryan undid his choker and handed it to Sandy as well. "I had put this away to fit in Newport. And I had fished it out for the numbered streets to feel … to help. Now I wear it and I don't care what anyone thinks. Maybe it will help her. I know they don't allow jewelry but maybe she can use it as a bookmarker, or something," he said shrugging. Seth stared at Ryan, seeming to be stunned at his great number of words.
Sandy couldn't seem to answer either of them. His face was flush and he looked both pained and proud of them. His head bobbed up and down, and he left the house in a hurry. Visiting hours were strictly observed.
a month later-
They stepped into the house with the smell of broiling crab cakes and other wonderful cooking smells. "Rosa?" Seth asked sniffing the air. Sandy had picked them up from Harbor after work.
Kirsten came rushing to the front door. Ryan hung back and let Seth smother her in a hug first. But less than a moment later they sucked in Ryan and Sandy. They were all laughing, too happy to say much. Ryan studied her every gesture and sound, making sure she was okay. The grip of her hug was tighter, she had lost a bit of weight, her hairstyle had grown out, but she beamed contentedly.
"Mom, did you learn to cook?" Seth asked incredulous.
She shook her head. "They put me on kitchen duty but then kicked me out. I couldn't even make prison grade food," she laughed. "I wouldn't ruin our first dinner together. I'm watching over my boys again; I got take out."
THE END
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Author's Notes: I didn't follow my own rule of having a definite outline and that slowed some chapters down. The characters just wouldn't follow me when I tried to follow my original ideas. Maybe it's because I keep sending them off to jail in my stories.
I want to offer my sincere, and big thanks to Molly for helping me with the earlier chapters, and FredSmith for the later chapters. They offered support when I desperately needed it – when the storylines didn't make sense, and the dialogue was stilted.
Also I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to the generous reviewers who took their time to read and comment on my story. They made me see things in new ways. Sometime I feel strange putting so much time into fanfic but the reviews make it worth it. And writing is so much fun. Often it feels like a crossword puzzle with infinite degrees of freedom, and the only constraints are the ones I love – the OC characters and their world.
