A/N - LoL, every Seigaku regular's addicted to the Sims. And they haven't got the Expansion Packs yet! Lordy...

Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters/places/settings of the Prince of Tennis. I don't own 'The Sims' as well. So don't sue. =)

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HAPPY SIM-ULATED BIRTHDAY, INUI!

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2. Babies and Marauders

"Hey, wait... Who's that? The tall good-looking one who has a nice arse?"

Fuji checked the Sim. "Oh, it's Echizen..."

"Ah, I see... Wait a moment. You mean ECHIZEN's the most delectable out of all of us!?"

"That sounds so wrong when you say it, Momo!"

Everybody stared at the screen, looking at the Ryoma-Sim who was scratching his tummy ("Eww, nyah, ochibi!").

"He's too cute,"

"I find him rather sexy..."

"He looks gay!"

"He looks better than my goggle-Sim..."

Everyone of the regulars except for Ryoma himself looked at each other and as if as one, they uttered two words. "Kill him."

"Mada mada--what!? You can't do that!" yelped Ryoma, indignant that Ryoma-Sim was going to be assa-Sim-ated.

"Why not, Echizen? He doesn't even look anything like you!"

"How do we murder him?" asked Takashi. However, that question was solved as grumpy ol' Tezuka-Sim set the stove on fire. "Wow, Tezuka! Your Sim's being strangely you. I didn't know it could blow up a kitchen like you did last week at my house," replied Fuji, still peeved that his stove wasn't fully working yet. They had all forgotten to buy the Sim fire alarm, not that they had any money to purchase it anyway. Tezuka-Sim scrambled away from the fire (coward) and every other Sim ran to the scene and hollered, screamed, bellowed and generally behaved like utter monkeys. With a smile on his face, Fuji urged Ryoma-Sim to stand close to the fire and yell from there. Ryoma watched in horror as the glames engulfed his Sim self totally before scary music played and the Grim Reaper appeared.

It was Kaidoh, who realized (much too late) that you could actually extinguish the fires if you were adults Sims (which they were). Mumbling about their own stupidity, he ordered Taka-Sim to put it out. In the place of Ryoma's death, a little urn sat on the middle of the floor. Fuji, weird bastard that he was, checked how much you could sell it for.

"5 bucks... not bad..." he said, moving the urn around. When the urn was placed outside, it magically turned into a tall grave. Tezuka put his hand on Ryoma's shoulder.

"Echizen, become the pillar of Seigaku..."

Fuji, scratching his head a little, sighed. He then clicked on the urn again and was hovering the mouse dangerously over the sell button.

"Hey, Fuji-sempai! Get away from my ashes! Don't you dare click! Don't you dare click sell! Don--"

Fuji clicked 'sell'. "Saa... now we have just enough money for that fire alarm..."

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An hour later (a few Sim days), Tezuka-Sim, Fuji-Sim, Inui-Sim and Taka-Sim were all working to keep the finances up (Tezuka-Sim a clerk, Fuji-Sim a street musician, Taka-Sim a bodybuilder, and Inui-Sim following the Mad Scientist career track), Eiji-Sim and Kaidoh-Sim were dancing together to the newly acquired mini-radio, Oishi-Sim was reading up on cooking, while Momo-Sim was taking a damn long time getting out of bed. Most of the Sims were in a bad mood as only two people would sleep in the two double beds, the boys not thinking they had to work on the Sim's relationships first. Eiji-Sim had begun to stink royally while Fuji-Sim had taken to teasing and flirting with all the other Seigaku Sims.

Not everybody was crowded around the computer anymore. Most of them had gotten chairs from downstairs to put near the computer. Ryoma, pouting, was lying on Inui's bed, mumbling curses and talking to Wabbit. Inui really must save that bunny. Momoshiro, however, had gone downstairs and picked up his mother's (forgotten) present in the living-room. As he came inside, he and Inui tore it open to discover a Pocket Blueberry, which Inui tore from those grubby fingers of Momoshiro and caressed it with gentle hands. He even passed a turn on the computer to figure out all the little buttons and what they did. Everyone happily complied, of course. Inui skipping a turn would mean that the others would get to theirs faster.

"Ohmygosh! Look! Eiji-Sim and Oishi-Sim are kissing!!!"

At the sound of Momo's outburst, every boy (save for grouchy Ryoma) stopped what they were doing and scrambled over to him to take a peek. And sure enough, happy music was playing.

"Whoa... gay Sims!"

Then the big sign popped up. 'Would Eiji and Oishi like to have a baby?' In answer to this question, hoots and laughs came from all over the room, Oishi and Eiji blushing a deep red. "I know! We could make Ryoma the baby. In three days, he'll grow into a child," suggested Takashi. Ryoma's sharp eyes perked up at that, but still refused to budge (stubborn boy).

"Okay, then!"

Momoshiro clicked the 'Yes' button. Then a baby cot appeared next to the kissing Sim couple. 'Congratulations! It's a girl! What would you like to name your baby?'

"Pssshhhhhhh... You made a girl, you moron..."

"Ne, Oishi! Our first child! What should we name her?"

"E-Eiji!"

"I know! How about Sakuno?"

"Mada mada dane..."

"Midori, maybe?"

"Saa... No way."

"I've got it! Atobe! The stupid prat..."

"But that would make it Seigaku Atobe, and that's just freaky."

"Just settle for Sakuno, okay?"

"I've got it! RYUZAKI-SENSEI! BWAHAHAHA!"

Momoshiro typed in an 'S' for the baby's name before time ran out and the game clicked 'Yes' by automatic.

"Crap! Your baby's an 'S'!"

"Momo! You won't be our baby's god-father anymore, nyah!"

"No, no! She's an 'S'!"

"MOMO!! Go to your Simulated room!"

"It's my turn now, Momoshiro. -mumble:stupidgoggleSim-"

"Aah... I didn't have a turn yet..." stated Takashi, nervously. Fuji smiled and brought out a racket from his pocket ("How did he do that?") and handed it over. Inui's eyes widened and began fumbling around his room. "Earmuffs, earmuffs. Where did I put those--"

Now, you've seen Takashi yell before. But never in an enclosed space. When you're cramped up in a room, the sound is sure to be louder. Inui believed this theory a 100%.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!!! GREATO!!! IT'S MY TURN!!!"

"-mumble:noitisn't-"

Takashi on burning mode was quite suitable for the Sims, for he furiously made each Sim rise up to green again, much to everyone's content. Tezuka-Sim finally had a promotion and Eiji-Sim was squeaky-clean. Suddenly, the real Eiji toppled off Inui's bed. "Hey! I just realized something! Kamio of Fudoumine knows a code to get us all the Simulated money we want!" he exclaimed, rubbing his sore rump. Seven blank stares were exchanged (Ryoma still sulking at the corner).

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US EARLIER!?"

"You-You didn't ask! And besides, I just remembered it," cowered Eiji on the floor.

"You mean we were in Simulated poverty all this time for nothing?"

"You mean we could actually buy that cool playground?"

"Erm, Momo... That's for kids..."

"You mean we're stuck in a three room house with only dumb peas to eat for nothing? Pssshhhhh..."

"-mumble:stupidEijiiwantjacuzzi-"

"E-Eiji! Go downstairs and find Kamio's number, okay?"

"Sure thing!"

"Here," Inui gave him a thick phonebook, "It should be listed under 'Kamio'. It's the one before the fax number, after the address." Eiji guiltily wondered if Inui stalked people to get their data before plod-plod-plodding downstairs. He jumped towards the phone and began to dial Kamio's number.

"Hello, who is this? This is the Kamio residence but I'm not a Kamio. I'm just a friend who decided to drop buy for a chat. No wait, Kamio would yell at me if I used the word 'chat' again. He think it's too girly. Which brings to the point--"

"Oh brother. Shinji! Just get Kamio's ass to the phone!"

"How did you know it was me? Oh wait, how WOULD you know it was me? Got you there, huh? You see, 'how WOULD' would make it indefinite. Oh, and who are you?"

"I'd recognize your mumbling anywhere! This is Kikumaru Eiji from Seigaku. Please bring Kamio to the phone!"

"Aah. Seigaku! You pack of grip-tape marauding wolves!"

"Yeahyeah--what!? I didn't steal no grip-tape, nyah! Hoi hoi! You want to accuse me for taking stuff that I didn't take!"

"Your Echizen kid took my grip-tape. I was going to buy it before he barged in and took it for himself. Then there's that Tensai no Fuji who stole Tachibana-buchou's grip-tape. Oh, hey, Kamio. I'm talking to Kikumaru from Seigaku? That bunch of thieves... -background: Give me that!-"

"Hello, Kikumaru? What can I do for you? Don't mind Shinji, he's rambling again. -background: Rambling? Just because I speak my mind doesn't mean blahblahblah-"

Eiji heaved a sigh of relief. "You know the code to get all the Simulated money you want? I need it, nyah! My Sim's broke!" he cried. He could hear laughter on the other side of the line.

"Oh, okay. And here I thought it was something important. Well, it's--" He then said something unintelligable.

"Huh!?"

"Oh, sorry. I'll spell it out."

After he did so, they both heared a click... before...

"Hah! Kamio! You'll never have Ann-chan!"

Kamio's eyes boggled out of his head. That was his line! Who was Momoshiro to steal it! And after stealing his bike as well! Shinji was right! They were a bunch of marauding hyenas!

"Momoshiro!? You stole my bike! I won't let you steal Ann-chan away!"

"Everybody knows that she likes me better!"

"She does not!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"Does not!"

Eiji decided to put down the phone from his side before scrambling upstairs. He could still hear Momoshiro being reduced to a two-year-old, screaming and yelling into the phone extension in Inui's parents room. Wait... Inui's --? Suddenly, Inui burst out of his room and ran for his parent's one, slamming down the extension and dragging nosey Momo out of there.

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Kawaii Kinomoto