Chapter 4
Float On
"Shinji?" Rei called out once more, standing over him in the golden morning sun, she was wearing the same outfit she had the day before.
"Mrrrmmm…" Shinji mumbled in reply, he had left his dream world but now was caught in a very blissful midmorning sleep. Breathing in deeply he furrowed his brow, the smell of smoke hit him hard, the fires throughout town were getting worse, it was almost as if it was right under him.
"I have prepared breakfast, if you desire to eat, you may join me." Rei said before giving up on the young boy who had found a bed on the outside deck.
Shinji moved and groaned, his back was pounding, the bars he laid across felt like knives grinding into him. The burning smell became worse, and he peaked open one eye just to make sure it wasn't his building that had caught flames. Unfortunately, it was…sort of.
Smoke was billowing freely from the house, more specifically, the kitchen, and after Shinji had a moment to stand up and survey his surroundings. he noticed that the smoke was coming from his breakfast, and with a gulp, walked into the apartment.
The two ate in silence, actually, to put it more correctly, neither of them spoke, the silence itself was broken by the loud crunching noises they both made trying to eat the burnt eggs and toast.
"W-why…ahem...why did you decide to make breakfast Ayanami."
Rei was silent for a moment then answered Shinji's question with a question,
"Did you have a strange dream last night?"
Shinji shook his head absently.
"So did I, the Commander was there, as was your…Yui Ikari was there as well."
Shinji's jaw dropped.
His mother was there? But how, why? If Rei had the same kind
of dream Shinji had then that only could mean that she brought in
someone who was very close to her, did Rei even know his mother. And
why had Shinji subconsciously picked Kawrou instead of his own
mother! Shinji's mind was asking a million questions when Rei
interrupted his thoughts.
"The Commander gave me true emotion in my dream. When I awoke, it was still there. The breakfast…I…felt…like making."
Rei was still not quite understanding emotion…whatsoever, her analytical mind saw no real reason that she should make breakfast, there was a better chance that the meal would have been edible if Ikari would have prepared it himself. But when she had found the young boy snoozing on the deck in the morning sun, she felt compelled to make breakfast, it was as though her body took over and was moving without her intervention.
Shinji looked upon her with a puzzled gaze, why had she forced the word 'felt' so hard? Where emotions really that difficult to handle? Shinji looked down at his inedible black gruel which still smoked black in front of him and shook his head. What did he know about emotions? The only emotion he knew was hatred, for himself.
"I believe it would be wise if you made the meal tomorrow Ikari." Rei looked at him, her eyes nearly pleading as she poked angrily at her burnt outside, raw inside egg.
Shinji couldn't help but laugh, but when it seemed, just for a moment that it hurt Rei's feelings, he abruptly stopped, and became very interested in the salt shaker.
Later in the day Shinji returned to his place out on the balcony, and Rei, not enjoying the feeling of boredom, found one of Misato's NERV training books and decided to read it from cover to cover.
This is what life was like for the final remaining people on Earth. Every morning Shinji would wake up and make breakfast, the two would eat, in awkward silence, then Shinji would take his place on the balcony, killing himself over what he had made of the world. Rei, mildly understanding Shinji's pain left the young boy to himself and with bored interest lingered through her new home reading every book that had the word NERV on it she could find, sadly, it was the only true thing she could understand. Like clockwork, the Third Child would come in at 12:30 to make lunch and at 6:15 to make dinner. Then the near the end of the day, which was Rei's favorite part, she would join Shinji on the deck and the two would look up at the night in silence. Every so often Shinji would stutter out something irrelevant, or Rei would note something in her usual analytical tone. The young girl had noticed something different though, every day, the two grew closer, even without ever actually having a full conversation, she noticed that every night the two stayed out approximately 5 minutes longer, and stood an average of 6 millimeters closer. Reading had also began to become difficult for her, she repeatedly caught herself looking up from the book and out at Shinji.
It wasn't until an evening with Shinji, three weeks later that Rei finally spoke to him about something other than atmospheric conditions.
"Ikari?"
Shinji kept staring complacently at the town, he loved this part of nightfall, because even though everyone was gone, the city was still alive. Piece by piece the entire city lit up until the entire area began to glow in a beautiful artificial light.
"Yes Ayanami?"
"I believe we should
go out tomorrow."
"W-what?" Shinji asked, somewhat
misinterpreting her meaning.
"Our supply of food is nearly
extinguished, we need to go to town to replenish it…also…"
Rei looked down, not really wanting to tell Shinji her problem. Shinji looked over at her, and then looked back quickly, blushing. The red eyed girl looked beautiful in the evening sky, her eyes seemed to actually light up…but, he hadn't felt that way since before Dr. Akagi showed him and Misato Rei's clones. He really hadn't thought about her much over the past few weeks. Mostly he had been wallowing in self pity and hatred. What surprised him most was how, almost instantly, his friendship with Ayanami returned, he had obviously been aware about her frequent visits to him on the outside deck, but other than making forced conversation, he never really had thought about her…he had still seen her as a clone, and was still scared of her. Until now.
"What is it Ayanami?"
"My current attire is in need of cleaning." She replied, her usual whisper like voice was even lower, as though she didn't want anyone to hear her but Shinji.
Shinji snickered, but
when noticing a light blush on the face of the first child, began
coughing to cover it up. He was far from mastering when it was right
to laugh and when it was inappropriate and semi-hurtful. He knew
that they would have to return to the streets soon, but with all the
empty piles of clothes, and the memories that the streets held of his
previous life, he was not entirely excited to tread back out. But
knowing he had failed everyone else, he knew he could not fail
Ayanami.
With a false smile on his face he looked over at Rei and
shook his head 'yes'. The two were to go out in the streets
tomorrow, but for tonight, and for the first time, they just stood
enjoying each others company, and the silence they gave each other.
For the very first time in her entire life, Rei woke with a smile. Since she had been given emotions it seemed as though all her dreams had been about all the pain and suffering she had endured during the years. She grew to resent sleeping, but last night was different, she had a dreamless sleep, and awoke feeling refreshed and excited. Her smile was short lived, and the moment she noticed that she was in fact smiling she went back to her usual emotionless expression. Even though the smell of leftovers for breakfast was not entirely enticing to her, the fact that the two of them were actually leaving the apartment practically made her feel like she was on cloud 9.
Shinji stood over the stove when he heard the shower start, looking over he frowned. The Third Child on the other hand was not looking forward to going out whatsoever, he could not stand to see the city close up, and was trying desperately to think of an excuse to get out of it. But Rei looked almost happy the night before, even if she did not outwardly show it. He knew he could not fail her, like he had failed everyon…
Squeak.
The shower turned off and tore Shinji from his thoughts, as Rei crossed out from the bathroom to Asuka's old room, Shinji snuck a small peak at the albino girl who's only covering was a small towel. He immediately looked back at his preparations, his entire face beet red.
As the two ate breakfast, Shinji was still red, Rei kept shooting him peculiar looks that held mild curiosity. Trying to change the topic away from his face Shinji asked Rei what all she wanted to do today.
"I require the necessities." She replied matter of factly. "Also…I no longer wish to wear Pilot Sohryu's clothing."
Shinji smiled to himself when Rei came out a few days prior wearing one of Asuka's school outfits. It seemed to be just like Rei's, but the bust was about 3 sizes to large, and the First Child had to keep tucking it in to prevent it from bunching up under her chin. Rei saw out of the corner of her eye Shinji's smile, and it gave her a good feeling, maybe he wasn't hating himself…as much.
An hour later, the two started off, Rei bunching her…Asuka's shirt down, and Shinji glancing around nervously, as though something was going to jump out at him. The two walked in silence, they had decided to first stop at the mall, Shinji was surprised at how adamantly Rei was acting toward getting out of Asuka's wardrobe. The two entered the mall and Shinji started toward one of the lower end clothing stores,
"Ikari?" Rei called from across the hall, her voice echoed amongst the cool tile floor and the flashing advertisements.
He looked over to her, she had been started walking toward one of the more expensive stores, Shinji looked down with embarrassment,
"I don't really make that much money Ayanami…"
One of Rei's eyebrows perked up, what was Shinji talking about, didn't he know that they didn't have to pay?
That's when it hit him…hard. His eyes instantly tripled their normal size. The brown haired boy just realized that he and Rei were in a mall, by themselves, with enough free stuff to last them ten lifetimes. The Tokyo-3 mall near NERV, though somewhat destroyed, had always been marveled because of it's massive 4 story tall, and 3 block radius size. This was by far, the greatest day of Shinji Ikari's life.
"A-Ayanmi…we…we can have anything we want…" He exclaimed, almost trembling with excitement. All the clothing stores, the toy stores, the music, movies, and food courts, they were all now owned by one Rei Ayanami and one Shinji Ikari. They had both become the two richest people ever to live.
"There is no reason to purchase unnecessary items, we should only pick up what is essential to our survival." She replied quickly, slightly bringing down Shinji's high.
"B-but Rei…haven't you ever wanted to just own everything!" He asked with childlike maturity.
"I do not understand your logic behind 'owning everything'."
Shinji practically galloped up to her, he knew he would have to get her to make one exciting purchase if he was going to go on a shopping spree.
"Comon Ayanami, you have never wanted anything that you couldn't have...even if there was no point in having it?"
Rei's eyes rolled away from Shinji as her face turned towards the floor, for a moment her mind returned to the first day after Third Impact, when she had gazed longingly at a pair of comfortable jeans and a plain yellow T.
Surprisingly Shinji caught on, and tried once again to get Rei to buy something.
"You do want to buy something other than a school outfit! Ayanami, we're the last two people in the world…we should have fun!"
The First Child could not help but feel good at the excitement Shinji was feeling, she quickly pivoted and began to walk, a confused voice called out behind her.
"Where…Where are
you going?"
Rei stopped at gave Shinji a side profile of her
face,
"To purchase what I desire."
Then continued toward one of the popular female clothing stores. Shinji smiled widely and took off toward one of the music stores, he knew exactly what he was going for.
Rei Ayanami felt strange, she had never truly wanted anything in her entire life, but now the fact remained that she could have anything, she wanted everything! Though none of this attire was essential to her or Shinji's survival, she felt as though every shirt, necklace, jeans, and bracelet, was just as important to her as food and water. But it wasn't only that, she also was searching for clothes that weren't only up to her standards, but also up to what she thought Shinji's standards were as well. It was strange, she was not thinking about Shinji consciously, but when picking out a blouse, her mind wondered on Shinji's thoughts and chose her outfit accordingly.
Shinji on the other hand one thinking about one thing and one thing only: Mp3 player. His old one was unfortunately overused and broken even before Third Impact, the dead battery was only one of the many problems his little escape from reality had. Searching through the store he finally came across one that fit his liking, practically ripping it out of it's plastic store container he plugged in the earpiece and put the buds in his own ears and hit play. The sound of a cello quartet filled the room, he was so happy that the new players came stock with over four thousand song, mostly classical, a way for the common man to relive his lost past. Shinji sat back against the wall and slide down until he was in a sitting position, his head resting back, and closed his eyes, he was not going anywhere for quite some time.
Rei was having trouble finding a way to carry all her new items from one store to the next, the young girl had started shopping, and she had no intention of quitting. It was not really the all the clothes that compelled her to keep shopping, nor was it the fact that she could own anything she wanted, it was the simple emotion of pleasure that felt as though it was on overdrive every time she threw another blouse into her basket. Her mind was racing so fast because of her emotions she could barely think, and it wasn't until she had two large baskets in each hand, a pair of jeans slumped across each shoulder that she noticed something…she needed a better means of transportation.
Gently laying everything onto the floor she walked over to one of the larger department stores and withdrew a cart, then she carefully emptied every new product in the cart. She glared at herself for letting her emotions take her over so easily, she enjoyed her newfound feelings but she would have to begin regulating herself if she were to get anything done. Even her systematic mind was having trouble grasping everything she had been feeling the last few days, she had actually spent an entire week trying to understand her feelings toward the only other remaining person to no avail. Never have been taught her emotions truly, the only real experience she had every had like this was between her and the Commander, but even those feelings were dwarfed by the ones she was having for the young Shinji Ikari.
Mozart's Fifth came and went, as did many other classics that Shinji had memorized and even learned at one point on his Cello. Shinji was on the brink of sleep and furrowed his brow, he knew Rei would probably be getting bored, and they would have to leave their mall. A disappointed Shinji had really not even had much time to shop, he was to engulfed in his new music player, and right before Shinji decided to get up, something blocked the lights that had been beating down on him. Opening his eyes, a featureless blue haired girl stood over him, with two carts of clothing on each side and something in her hand. Shinji jumped up, gaping at the four carts of clothing.
"Wha…You…Did you b-buy all this stuff Ayanami!"
"No purchases were made, all of these items were without charge."
Shinji looked at every cart, even though the girl had only been gone for an hour, she had already been to nearly every clothing store in the mall, and arranged each basket according to it's contents, one for shirts, one for jeans, one for shoes, and so on.
Shinji looked up and Rei handed him a cup, it was filled to the brim with chocolate ice cream. Shinji gave her a dumbfounded look, she acting like a normal girl.
"I believe I had always…wanted…to try this." She said simply, answering Shinji's unasked questions of why.
He gulped loudly and took the uneven cup of ice cream, and muttered out without though,
"Th-thank you."
She looked up from her small snack right into his eyes, holding the boy in a trance for a moment, then returned to her meal.
The two left the music store and walked through the empty halls, the sound of Rei's carts echoed off the walls. It was then Shinji decided something: How could he have been so stupid? All his wallowing the past weeks caused him to completely ignore Rei, he was looking so hard for something about himself that he was doing wrong and it had always been right in front of him. Rei Ayanami, the girl who had just became human was trying to understand all her emotions and her new life and couldn't, because Shinji had her practically trapped in his apartment. He looked over at her and he could tell she was struggling slightly trying to pull all the carts. Shinji looked forward again and glared at himself, he was still treating her like a clone, he was an idiot, a baka…just like Asuka said he was. He had to make it up to her, and not with just another meal, something just for her…something fun.
"Let…let me help you Ayanami." He said quietly, taking hold of one of her carts. She did not respond but gratefully let Shinji take one of the heavy shopping carts.
"Ha…have you ever been to-to a place like that?" Shinji asked, he hated himself for not being able to speak without stumbling over his words.
Rei looked at what Shinji was referring to, a large colorful store with the words Toys Toys Toys flashing brightly. She looked back at Shinji and shook her head, there was something entrancing about the colorful lights and light carnival music that grew louder as the two approached.
They dropped off their carts outside and both entered, Shinji looked around happily for something fun to do, and Rei regretted her coming right when she entered, she was entirely too old for this. Dashing off Shinji caught a glimpse of what he was looking for and disappeared behind one of the aisles leaving Rei to stand next to the cash register. Glancing around she could not fathom why any self respecting person would want to come here, the noise was quickly growing annoying, everything was brightly colored, and items were just placed without any means of order. She placed one hand over her elbow and looked almost pathetically at the remains of one of the store's workers.
After a few minutes Rei grew tired of waiting for Shinji and decided to return to wait for him outside the store, away from the music. Right as she turned something small pegged her in the back of the head, and a boy's voice laughed nervously behind her. Whipping her head around angrily she saw Shinji standing behind her with what looked like a purple bow with a small yellow object at the end. He looked at her, smiled, then squinted as he took aim, moving at lightning fast speed she narrowly dodged the oncoming weapon and looked at Shinji, surprised.
"Why did you attack me?"
Shinji looked up from the bow, amazed at Rei's agility,
"It...it wouldn't have hurt."
She walked toward him and narrowed her eyes at him,
"Why did you attack me?"
Shinji was now completely freaked out, he had brought Rei here to have fun but now she was going to hate him even more.
"I-it's just a game…it's supposed to be fun, I was trying to give you some fun…because….well I…" Shinji looked away with a guilty expression on his face.
Rei paused for a moment and thought, then with a mischievous but well hidden look on her face, moved quickly and stole the bow. Before Shinji could even react Rei moved a couple of feet away, armed the toy weapon and took sight. Firing, and hitting a very stunned Shinji right between the eyes she said simply,
"I win."
Shinji's jaw dropped look mirrored how Rei felt inside. Why had she just done that? There was no point, no reason to do this. It was not a training exercise, and in a way it was somewhat malicious. She had no intention of ever hurting Shinji, but there was a strange feeling inside her stomach, and a flow of adrenaline, similar to the one she got from fighting the Angels, shot through her body. She paused for a moment, bow in hand, trying to explain to herself what she had really just done. She lowered the bow and shook her head, her hair moved back and forth. Rei knew fully well that she was indeed very in love with her new emotions, but she had to contain them, she couldn't just adhere to their every whim. This mixture of old analytical Rei, and the new Rei Shinji had only seen during Third Impact frightened the young girl, and she knew she had to gain control of herself.
She looked up, unintentionally blushing slightly.
Shinji's mouth still open, a small pink mark now lay on his forehead from the arrow couldn't help but be amazed. Was this really the Rei he had known so long ago? It was hard to tell, she seemed to be slipping from the girl he knew before to someone completely different. When she began to blush, he knew that she was going to reverse back into her old self, and he couldn't let her do that…Shinji wasn't having fun yet. He looked her in her crimson eyes and said right before he ran,
"You're dead!"
The two ran from aisle to aisle finding new things that peaked Rei's interest, which were unfortunately few and far between, but when the two did find something of mutual enjoyment they both held onto it for separate reasons. Shinji, because he was still feeling bad about how he had been treating Rei, and Rei…for beginning to understand the love which became more and more powerful every time she saw the young boy. When the two finally quit, and Shinji sat down, leaning back against the wall, and Rei standing over him, her arms at her sides, Shinji thought of something that would make the day perfect. And after about 15 minutes of silence and heavy breathing, mostly from Shinji's end, he finally spoke,
"Aya-Ayamani…can I ask you something?"
She did not reply but just looked at him expectantly.
"Do you remember when we…when we you to spend time to-together…you know…like outside of work?"
"Yes." She replied, curious where this was going.
"Remember what I used to call you?" Shinji was staring at his feet, his face burning red.
Rei thought for a moment and when she remember, she nodded her head, the tingly feeling she had before when they were playing came up again.
"We-well I...I was just wondering if I could call you again…like…like I did before…Dr. Akagi…I mean…before Third Impact."
"You may." Rei replied, the feeling was growing at a rapid rate.
Shinji looked up and her and beamed,
"Really! Ok…I will…Rei. And…and you can call me the same too!"
She looked down at him, he had called her by her first name before, but not once had he ever called him by his, to say the least, the young girl was just encountering the feeling known as nervousness. She quickly dismissed this, and without even a slight amount of emotion, replied.
"Thank you, Shinji Ikari."
