Recollections of the Past
6:04
The deep red color off the digital clock would have reflected on the two eyes that stared back at them if it had not been Rei's eyes that stared back at them. The reflection of the numbers disappeared into Rei's identically colored eyes.
With her chin gently resting on her pillow, and only the tops of her eyes showing, Rei was counting down the minutes until breakfast, and after a entire night wihout sleep, she was ready for the day to come.
It had been about two a.m. when it finally hit her, the young girl's well thought out decision…
Rei Ayanami hated kissing.
The pleasure had not been worth the pain and the entire night had been horrible, after the two had kissed, they just stared at each other for a few moments, she remember Shinji's face, it wasn't that of pleasure but more of fear, was he scared of her? Deciding not to sleep together Shinji returned to his room, and Rei laid down to sleep, but with her emotions throwing her a different feeling every thirty seconds, she had to stay wide awake just to keep up:
Does Shinji feel the same way as she? what was that look of fear for? had he regretted it? what does this mean for them now? what was that feeling she got right when their lips touched? what was the feeling she got right when he left? what was going to happen now? did Shinji enjoy the kiss? did Rei truly enjoy the kiss?
These questions, and a millions others plagued the young girl's mind all night, and the final question before she decided to get up was the most simple.
Had Shinji too lack the ability to sleep after their late night kiss?
Snoring slightly, the last thing Shinji Ikari wanted to do was wake up. Before he fell asleep he knew that Rei would want to discuss what had happened the previous night. He did not entirely want to talk about it, not because he did not enjoy it, the Third Child more than enjoyed it, but he did not want to have to look at her while he answered all of her 'new emotion' questions…nonono…Shinji Ikari was far to scared for that!
Locked in a deep embrace with sleep Shinji had not always been this way, in fact, the night before he was freaking out almost as bad as Rei. Wondering if he kissed her right, thinking he may have offended her, she had decided to not sleep with him after the kiss, but why? Had Shinji really messed up that bad this time? He was so nervous after he kissed her, did she notice that? The young boy was terrified, but after repeated thoughts of kissing Rei, Shinji did what every normal fourteen year old boy would do after kissing a beautiful girl and enjoying it, and after he relieved himself, he had quickly lost all his cares and worrisome thoughts and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
Though he slept well, something still plagued him…Shinji knew at some point he would have to wake up, and soon he would have to face Rei. At this subconscious thought he shuddered under his blankets and clutched them tightly between his fingers. Breakfast would come, and it would be coming soon.
Eat faster, eat faster. Shinji repeated to himself as he downed an entire egg in one bite, causing him to choke slightly. The faster he finished his meal, the faster he could lie his way out of being in Rei's presence.
Rei's meal on the other hand matched her thoughts…scrambled. She did not pick at her food yet looked at it as though it could give her all the answers, she was feeling something that was caused by the tense meal she was having with Shinji, it was much like the giddy feeling she had the previous night right before she kissed the brown haired boy, but this time it was much worse, like she had just eaten a large bowl of extremely spicy food, and it got spicier every time she opened her mouth to speak.
"Ikari?" Rei whispered, bringing her eyes up in her usual manner.
Mmm! Shinji bit his tongue, the fact that Rei called him by his last night struck an almost painful cord with him. After recovering, he shakily put his fork down and with a mouth full of food replied,
"Y-yesh Ayanami?"
The impersonal last name hit Rei painfully as well, just before answering Rei tittered with the thought of just letting it go, but her exhaustion caused by lack of sleep prevented her from acting on her emotional whims.
"What occurred last night after I entered your room?"
Shinji swallowed hard, he was about to ask what she meant, but after looking into her eyes with their usual bored expression on them, he replied.
"W-well..we…we um…you-know…well we kinda…I mean I-I…we um…we…k-kiss…kissed…"
That was the hardest sentence I've ever had to say in my entire life! Shinji thought to himself, beads of sweat beginning to cause his brow to glisten.
Rei looked back with her usual expressionless look, but on the inside was quite angry. She was not one who was used to be talked down to, and at that comment she felt Shinji was just trying to explain it to her in simple terms like she slow, and not dodge the question like he actually was.
"I am aware of that…" Rei snapped back, her voice as sharp as a razor blade, "I was, curious, on your thoughts about the situation."
That was it, Shinji thought, I'm skewered. Breathing heavily, Shinji's mind raced for a way to get out of this conversation, but with no one left in the world, he couldn't really hope for the cliché interruption. Where was a red head when you needed one? Shinji thought to himself, but then realizing that Rei was growing angrier by every passing second finally decided to bite the bullet and start explaining.
"Well…I mean…I uh…well I was just trying to cheer…I mean, I kinda think I…Rei…I-I mean Ayanami…it's just that…I uh…I-I…I like-ke…I like…you…"
As Shinji finished butchering every single Japanese Grammar book with his mess of a sentence, and shut his eyes tight, as thought he was about to be hit, just another reaction that living with Asuka caused him to have.
While Shinji clutched his eyes tight, Rei tried, very hard, to measure his reactions, but with her lack of knowledge and Shinji's odd behavior she just read into the kiss and his words, and plainly replied.
"I like you as well."
Shinji's eyes opened almost as fast as his jaw did, Rei Ayanami…liked him! For the first time in his life, a girl actually liked him! She had even let him kiss her! The most beautiful girl Shinji had every met was now very human, and liked him. To put it simply, Shinij was stunned.
"Wel—Blu—I—Uh…That's great Aya-Rei!"
Still understanding nothing about human emotions, Rei still thoughts Shinji's reaction to this was quite peculiar. Still, Rei Ayanami was in love, Shinji had always been the good side of the Commander, but magnified. He did not hide his weaknesses or his feelings, though he seemed weak and scared on the outside he had shown Rei his strong side, he had both compassion and strength, and for now, he was hers. Rei looked at Shinji as he kept speaking at his usual nervously quick pace and smiled. Shinji looked up and saw it, and for a moment, the entire world was silent.
Only a few more minutes. Rei thought to herself, her journal laying open on her lap, the number 11:47 was written neatly on the top of her page of 'Things to Do'. She had quit writing a long time ago and was now trying to accurately count down the seconds until a little under a quarter til midnight came. When it finally did, she gently placed her journal down, leaving the lock unlocked. Shinji had picked a diary that had a lock, but with Shinji's boyish fear of practically everything she owned, Rei did not think he would ever read it and found no reason to lock it. Standing up and turning around, she smiled and walked toward her destination.
Shinji looked down at his digital watch, five more minutes. It had been two weeks since the conversation Rei and Shinji had shared their 'feelings' and like clockwork they met up every night to do the same thing again: Reenact their first night. Smiling goofily Shinji looked out at the cityscape, he had began to notice something a few nights prior to this one, certain sections of the city began to turn on later, and some, not at all. Before the Third Child could really put his mind into it he heard the words he loved the most.
"Goodnight Shinji."
He turned and looked at her, Rei had changed so much in the near three months they had returned from Third Impact, expressing her wants and desires more than just her needs, she was slowly becoming less like an Eva and more like a teenage girl.
He walked forward as he did every night, with his usual nervousness, and they shared a goodnight kiss. Rei savoring and trying to memorize every feeling, physical and emotional, to not only dissect later, but also to try and revisualize it whenever she wanted. So far, because of the complexities of the flutter of emotions, she could not even come close to understanding what a simple touch of the lips caused her to feel inside, let alone grasp it enough to artificially render it. Shinji on the other hand was his usual nervous self, every time their lips grazed across each other his right hand opened and closed tightly, trying to expel all his fear and excess energy out of his clenched fist. Though the nervousness was painful, it was something Shinji was used to, and still treasured ever second he and Rei spent together, and as always, when she pulled away, he fell in love with the reflection of the moon off her eyes.
As Rei turned and walked toward her bedroom to rest, Shinji watched her go, and the butterflies in his stomach slowly disappeared. For another hour after Rei had left, his thoughts turned back toward the wasteland of a world in which he had created, and Shinji began to miss the butterflies.
"Attention."
Shinji sat straight up in his bed, his eyes wide and every ounce of sleep in his body instantly evaporated. Someone else was alive!
"Citizen's of Tokyo-3, may I please have your attention."
Rei lie on her side, her eyes slowly moved toward the source of the sound, she knew instantaneous who's voice this was, and she had not been looking forward to it.
"Because of complexities in the power system, NERV will be shutting down all electrical systems in every block of Tokyo-3 effective at 9:30 PM this evening. We apologize for any inconvenience." As the woman's cool voice silenced, the echoes of nearly every NERV-owned speaker radiated of the cities empty walls. The prerecorded voice of the MAGI had just finished telling the final two survivors on Earth, the worst possible news they could ever hear.
"So…so-what do we do Ayanami?" Shinji asked as he placed her meal in front of her, he looked at it sadly, this could be the last warm meal they would have in awhile.
"The MAGI systems do not control the electrical power sources created to flow energy to the city. That system was set up for NERV personal oversight. The MAGI system will need to be reset to control the power generators." Rei said before she ate as if reading from a control panel.
"Ho-how do you know that?" Shinji asked, thoroughly impressed.
Rei swallowed her bite of pancake that she had delicately cut into tiny pieces and looked at him expectantly, "Because it says so in your NERV emergency handbook."
Shinji looked down at Rei as she returned to her meal, his mouth agape. The only other time they had used their emergency handbook was when all power had gone out before and the three children had to crawl through the air ducks to get to their Eva's, Shinji was not looking forward to doing that again.
"So…we…what? Just go down to NERV and flip a switch?" Shinji asked dumbly.
Rei smiled inwardly at Shinji's lack of knowledge, she enjoyed being in control, but without showing any of her feelings just replied with a whisper,
"Negative. Because of SEELE's actions nearly all of the entrances to NERV have been destroyed or blocked by Bakelite. There is only one way that is sure to take us to the NERV core."
Shinji was worried, glancing toward the window he saw a large distinction between what had been affect by Third Impact and what had not. It looked as though a large ice cream scoop had come down and just pulled up a piece of the central city, including Rei's previous living quarters, because of how the buildings that were not instantly annihilated seemed as though they were still in perfect order, sans the random cracked windows and small wind damage from the blast.
"How do you know that your way will get us there."
"Because…" Rei said, pausing slightly, she did not entirely want to reveal the reason, "The Commander created it especially for my personal use."
Shinji's eyes were as
big as his mouth, and he looked away, for just a split second he felt
jealousy toward the child which his father had chosen over him. Rei
knew how he was feeling, not because she read Shinji's emotions,
but because she had known about the relationship between Shinji and
his father.
In silence, and still with a bit of anger, the two
set out through the wretched city, toward what may or may not be the
remains of the greatest establishment ever…NERV.
Shinji glanced over lazily at one of the shops, a bright red car sat on a pedestal spinning around slowly, a quick thought of Misato's car, and how the two had first met flashed through his mind and he gripped the SDAT in his pocket a bit tighter. He wanted nothing more than to put his headphones on and escape his feelings, but he did not want to be rude to his tour guide Rei.
They were heading to the inner city, one of the Eva plug-in power ports that were scattered throughout the city streets had a secret door in which only Rei and the Commander had access to, it was five miles away and the young girl had been lost in her thoughts the last hour. Shinji was obviously angry, she did not need to have a degree in psychology to know this, all the men in the Ikari bloodline had a bad habit of retreating into their own minds and going silent after being angered. Rei had first realized this with Gendo, and the bad habit was now rearing its ugly head in Shinji as well. Rei looked around the ghost town to see if she could find something to dispel the Third Child's resentment toward her.
Shinji too was looking around to find something to take his mind of his present company. He was still very close to falling in love with Rei, but just the memories of his father and how he had always loved the blue haired angel much more than him stirred up a childish jealousy that would not seem to dissipate.
The city in which was once known as Tokyo-3 was now a mere shell of its former self. In all actuality it seemed more reminiscent of the underwater photos Shinji had seen of the original Tokyo that had been completely submerged after 2nd Impact in class. Nealy every window in the entire city had been shattered by the tornado that he had created when EVA-01 had awoken, not to mention the shock waves from the N2 mine that had exploded only a couple of miles away. The ground was cracked here and there and some of the weaker building foundations were cracked and sinking thanks to Asuka's wresting match with the MP EVAs. Thanks to the MAGI though, most of the city's major problems had been solved, the broken gas and water mains that threw up fire and water had each been shut off. Making the disgusting smell of smoke and sewage a thing of the past. The Twilight Zone-esque sight of piles of empty clothes was still something the two children had to put up with, and the shadows cast by the crucified MP Evas and the millions of crosses still blocked out the sun and added to the eerie silence of the dead town. There was really nothing pleasant to be said about the town, and so the two pilots walked in silence.
After another hour and a half of silence the two arrive at their destination. A large number 14 was painted on the street with a square shaped crack surrounding it, Rei looked at Shinji, then to the street, he nodded and paused. Walking up to the right corner, the First Child pulled out her NERV issued card, and slide it quickly in and out of the large crack like a hotel card, then took a few steps back as an neighborhood alarm went off and the street opened up slowly. The umbilical cord for the EVA's gently swayed in the afternoon breeze from it's large and menacing hooks. Bending down, she once again bent down and slid in her card, a false power supplier opened and the two entered.
Crawling down a long corridor Shinji once again felt the powerful feeling of claustrophobia, and with Rei walking in front of him, and wearing a miniskirt that was just a bit too small, was making this trip much more difficult. Rei turned multiple different directions, and right before Shinji asked if they were lost she dropped down on of the vents and right in front of a large gated elevator.
They began the 20 minute ride down.
"I…I am sorry Ikari." Much like Shinji, whenever Rei felt something was wrong, she went back to a less formal style of conversation.
Shinji looked over at her, he smiled with embarrassment, Rei was sad because Shinji was mad at her, and for whatever reason he was almost happy to see her sad like this…it proved she truly did have feelings for him and not just liked him out of pity as he had at first believed.
"No…I'm sorry Rei…it's just…when you mentioned father I…" He looked down.
"You miss him." Rei spoke softly, she knew all about Shinji crying himself to sleep every so often, she thought it was partially because of his father, and she couldn't be more right.
"I-I guess…but…that's just stupid of me…I have no reason to…" He glared at himself, clenching his fist.
"He is your father, you do not need a reason to miss him."
Shinji looked up at Rei's sage like statement and smiled, looking into her eyes which were already boring into him, he smiled. "Thank you Rei."
Rei did not respond, instead she took the initiative and let her emotions control her, and took his hand into hers, and in her mind said 'I love you'.
"Now what!" Shinji called up from Maya Ibuki's old computer, the only node in the entire MAGI network that wasn't bullet ridden.
Lucky for the two, both Maya and the Commander were still logged into their machines, and access to the entire city, NERV, and the MAGI defense, offence, and information sectors were under their control.
"There is a laptop under Ibuki's desk, use it to plug into the MAGI." Rei called down, her whisper voice slightly echoing off the walls.
Shinji did as he was told and Rei sent down a wireless signal to the laptop and began downloading the emergency power overwrite grid. This would cause only certain parts of the city to power up at a time, thus saving energy and giving the city's power generators time to replenish their losses. Rei began typing all this in while Shinji walked over and picked up one of the empty clips beside a pile of clothes.
After a half hour the system was redirected and ready to go, Shinji had fallen asleep listening to his SDAT while waiting and Rei didn't want to wake him. So she decided to look around the system more to see if there was anything more than needed to be updated or worked on for their survival. After a few moments she stumbled across a file reading, 'Ayanami-05' and with a trembling hand, opened it.
Yo-Yo Ma was just wrapping up a cello piece when Rei awoke Shinji, her face gently whiter than usual as the two left. Still half asleep the oblivious Shinji didn't even notice Rei's rather unusual behavior as they continued their walk back to the house, nor did he even notice that she went straight to bed without dinner, or a kiss. What Shinji did notice was what Rei had done to the power system, and when the night came the only two buildings that lit up were his, and Shinji's favorite place: The park. It was instantly clear to the young brown haired boy, he was in love, with Rei Ayanami.
