Author's Note: I certainly hope you're happy now that I'm updating. And as such I think you should send me some chocolate chip cookies. Or you can just review. Also, "Toto" and the scarecrow are coming up in this chappy. I'd prefer it if you didn't flame me, because straw is highly flammable. And inflammable. It's so weird that those mean the same thing. You know?


Author's Explanations: Hobari is the Carnival City of Freece. They won't let you in if you look vaguely "normal". So wearing beige to Hobari would be . . . bad. 'Sempre uko buene mene uko' is a Frecian saying. It literally means, "Always wear good underwear."


Chapter 2

Straw for Brains and a Flying Tiger

After a few minutes of walking, Turtle realized that something was following her. She didn't think it was a Munchkin. Nor did she think it was the scarecrow that would be coming up. After wracking her brains for what it might be, she finally came across the idea of Toto. But wouldn't a dog make more noise? Besides, if the yellow brick road and Oz weren't there, who was to say that Toto would be?

Turtle finally became frustrated enough that she whirled around to see what was following her. And was greeted by a large cat pouncing on her chest. She shrieked in surprise. Once again, Turtle landed with a thump. But at least this time there was no crunch. "What the hell did I do to you?"

"It's your fault that I'm stuck here with a bunch of smelly old mushrooms instead of in my nice warm nest playing with a freshly caught mouse," said a voice in Turtle's head.

"Dude, you're telepathic?"

"Yes, mortal. Now bow down to my almighty pimpin-freshness."

"Cool, but not that cool. Who- and what- are you?" The cat would have been rather like a tiger kitten if it weren't for the white, feathered wings sprouting from its back.

"A Frecian Flying Tiger of course. I'm Tigris, granddaughter of Tagri, goddess of . . . stuff."

"So you're basically my Toto for the trip?"

"Nowhere near. Toto was a pet. I am just here because the Queen made me come."

"Who's this Queen everyone keeps talking about?"

"The Queen of Freece, of course. Queen Gabriella. She already explained to me about your world. Apparently she's been there, although I'm not quite sure why. Who'd want to live in a world where they had to resort to electricity? And your government is absolutely appalling."

"Well, I agree with you there. So what happened to Horse and Aquarius and Monkey? How do they fit into all this?"

"The Queen did not see fit to tell me. Now put on the damn shoes."

"Why? Heels aren't exactly that great to walk in."

"Too bad. Besides your old shoes are ugly. As they say in Freece, 'Sempre uko buene mene uko.'"

"Always wear good underwear? What's that got to do with the bitchy lady's shoes?"

"It's the principle of things. You don't want to show up in Frakken in those shoes, do you? It'd be like showing up in Hobari in beige."

"They don't even match my outfit!"

Tigris scratched at her face. "Put on the damn shoes."

"Fine then." Turtle sat down where the green of the mushrooms blended into the green of the grass and took off her tennis shoes. She kept her purple socks on as she put on the sparkly silver shoes. The heel appeared to have shrunk and widened until there was barely any heel at all. "Cool."

That night, Tigris and Turtle spent the night in the home of a wealthy Munchkin known as Bob. Bob, like the rest of the Munchkins, was obsessed with the color blue and had never been to Frakken. As such he had no idea how far away it was. Munchkins didn't care much for geography.

The next morning they set off again. It was around noon when Turtle heard a scarecrow suddenly yell out, "Turtle!"

She turned to find where the voice came from and saw a scarecrow waving its arms at her. The scarecrow looked a lot like . . .. "Monkey? What are you doing on a pole?"

"Blame the farmer."

"Ah." Seeing as scarecrows are made of straw, and straw is very light, Turtle was able to get Monkey off the pole and back on the ground.

"Where'd you get the shoes? What's up with that cat? How come you got to be Dorothy? Who's fault is this? Are we gonna kick their butt soon? Where are we going?" Monkey was interrupted by Tigris who pounced on her with such ferocity that Monkey fell down in the corn. Luckily Monkey was made out of straw, so it didn't really hurt.

"Bad Tigris."

Tigris gave Turtle a look that clearly said, "You've got to be kidding me."

Turtle ignored this and said. "Let's talk while we walk." She helped Monkey up, and they continued on the green toadstool road.

"The shoes used to belong to the Bitchy Witch of the East. I sort of fell on top of her when I got here. Tigris made me wear them." Tigris hissed. "Tigris isn't a cat by the way. She's a Frecian Flying Tiger sent by the Queen of Freece to watch over us."

"What?"
"The current Queen of Freece is Queen Gabriella. We're going to Frakken to see her."

"If Freece is real, then does that mean Insani is too?"

"Yes, foolish mortal. As is the Sea of Miari, the Mountains of Bunakro, Hobari, Jucla, and just about everything else that obviously exists."

Monkey stuck her tongue out at Tigris. "Who made us come here?"

"Dunno."

"Are we gonna kill them till they die?"

"Hope so. Otherwise what's the point in coming?"

"Where's the yellow brick road?"

"There isn't one. We get stuck with the green toadstool road."

"Damn. Does that mean we can't sing any of the songs from the movie?"

"Well, you can still sing If I Only Had a Brain."

"Hey!" Monkey whacked Turtle in the arm. Turtle rubbed her arm and stuck out her tongue. They may have been going into high school, but since when was that a sign of maturity?

"Well, it's true! You have straw for brains!"

"She is right you know."

"Oh, shut up." Monkey pouted as they walked along.

The three travelers spent the night in a forest that the road went through. They even had a strange sort of nightlight, because the green mushrooms glowed in the dark.